Enlightenment

Awakened Energy is Creative Energy!  Creative Energy is Love.

Whatever Enlightenment is, one thing is for sure;  at the crossroads of the infinite "I Am" or what I call the "Waveform Awareness, and the younger “earthbound” personality, lies creativity.  I think the sages miss something when they say there is nothing to do; the universe is inherently creative…..and even the sages who say there is nothing to do, themselves DO things (which I will bet is creative!)!

The most liberating practice, the best mudra, the best mantra, is to simply be creative.  That sensual energy cracks open more dry husks of your perception than a million postures and positions! Frees you!  Awakens you more!  Greater and greater sensual bliss!  This is the Universe!  Waking up to this is waking up to the powerful potential resting in the universe; we are here to burn this potential in the fires of our souls here on earth!

Creativity is Grace.

Coping With Kundalini - 1

One of the things I do is teach art to college students.  I am also a glass artist with his own studio, and in the midst of my own awakening I discovered just how useful creativity was in helping to remove blockages, knots, and all manner of problems that can crop up in the midst of these experiences.
I found that when I let myself go and become more fluid in my conception of new work, I felt better.  Looking back on it, I was helping to balance the yin and yang energy within me, and helping to build a more cooperative sense of self.  As I began to work in this way, I found that I ceased trying to figure it all out and simply felt as though I was being guided.  Sometimes when I just let the accidents happen, amazing things emerged.  Its easy for me to say an accident is just that, but I now know that this is one way for the universe to come rushing in.  We can set up all kinds of cognitive barriers around us without even realizing it.  Since my medium is so fast and fluid, this was perfect for having very sudden changes take place in the moment that might otherwise have to be planned out.  When I stopped trying to control things, something interesting began to emerge.

I began this by working with the concept of embodying the masculine and feminine in my work, to find a way to let those essences flow into being.  I began with focusing on the goddess.  I didn’t make figures out of glass, but I took what I already knew and began doing things I had always wanted to try but never told myself I had time for.  My vessels turned into the body of woman.  Lips, layers, deeper recesses where the great mystery lay.  I graduated the sizes and nested these one into the other.  They had an eroticism, a reference to the female body that expressed, I felt, the sensual flowing nature of that essential part of our experience.  I made them rich in color, mostly all were warm gold-based colors.  When I say gold, I actually mean the metal gold.  All colors in the glass palette are made from metals such as copper, cobalt, manganese, silver, iron, and gold.  Gold in this case creates what we call “rubies” which vary from reddish pinks to purples.  These are rich and warm, wine-like and powerful.  They are not bland colors but can reach incredible depth and sensuality.  These were perfect to begin working in this new way.  Expensive, yes, now that gold is rising in price, but very inviting and fabulous.  I was able to get my vessels to stretch into diamond shapes, no longer mere bowls, they became sculpture.  I didn’t plan too much, but made very simple choices of color and let chance take the lead.  Most was intuitive, and my own skill had to be present in order to make sure each piece was moved into the ballpark of where it needed to be.

About a month after I began working with this idea and seeking to embody it in the moment through feeling, I was approached out of the blue by a local artist to help collaborate on a piece she was making that was a bench….that was actually a sculpture.  In it, she had designed three pillars of wood that was like an upside down funnel, spreading outward from the top, a very masculine form.  Atop this would rest three glass elements that would reach into the sky to bring down cosmic energy, the grace of the All.  These, it was clear, were the feminine portions of the piece.  Womb-like, leaf-like, these served to bring down the universal force so that it might be anchored her on earth.  As I looked at the model for the piece and as we discussed all of this I was amazed at how aligned this artist was with the very same principles I had just a month before begun to work on.  More than this, I probably could not have been able to advertise for this job and have hoped for such an on the mark collaboration.
This, and work like it has hinted at the vast potential surrounding us when we begin to align with our larger purpose.  the Law of Attraction begins to work its magic to bring the most perfect things in with perfect timing.

As I observe the movement of kundalini within me, I know that what facilitates its movement is being more fluid, what I know to be a dynamic balance between masculine and feminine.  We are built, designed, to recognize the counterpart of us, to reach for completion and connectivity.  This is the essence of the experience.  As we can begin to merge these aspects within our own bodies, the light of awakening burns brighter.  We feel more unified, and we are happier.  We are taking the potential that these two energies have and bring them into a creative unity.  This is, I suspect, what some call “sublimation” which is essentially learning how to draw the energy of the bliss upwards through ones awareness ever higher.  I have some real problems with how this “sublimation” is described (partly that its seminal fluid that is pushed up the spine—-sorry—-but no, it just doesn’t work that way!), but I do think that by utilizing the vast potential, we can bring this limitless energy into the moment and create with it.  By keeping the energy moving and strong, the effect is that it works through the knots and hard places within us.  The more we let it flow, the more things will drop away.  Yes, its a kind of therapy I suppose you could say. But instead of meditation or prayers or postures, you are returning to a very fundamental state that is devoid of rules, regulations and even taboos.  The great thing about art is that there ARE no rules.  Perfect!  Since the energy can be so restless, this is perfect for bringing into a creative act.

I used to study what happens when we are creative.  Most people described it as a point where the left and right hemispheres both light up and begin talking to one another.  I think this is perfect because even our own brains seem to mirror the yin/yang of the universe.  One side is rational, another more feeling.  One is more solid and concrete while the other is holistic.  When we can bring both together, there is a flash of inspiration.  Isn’t this the same as the merging of the masculine and feminine energetically?  I think so.  And when I observe this in my students I find some interesting correlations.  When my students seek inspiration, they like to be alone.  This act is a very intimate one, one where they can’t be watched or bothered.  They have to have the freedom to play, to dream, to let that subtle dance within take place.  They don’t know HOW they do it, only that its IN them to do this.  And when they are inspired, it brings with it a bliss and a sense of connectedness.  This is one aspect of union, and it begins with the self.  The act of creativity is an act of union.  It happens when we make great art, or come up with new ideas in science, and it also happens physically when we make babies.
By being willing to carve out some time for yourself to be creative, I think that you will be able to find a way to cope with kundalini.  Being able to stretch yourself outward more, to flow, or perhaps to feel the masculine move more within you if you are very feminine, is a very good way to learn to deal intuitively with this process.  It is an act that is ultimately unifying, an act that helps heal separation of the self and help you to feel more at One.

Music can help change your brain chemistry and electrical output.  For the work I do I have discovered that I like very rhythmic music because it mirrors the rhythm of the turning of the pipe.  It somehow seems to help me get in the groove, lose myself, and find something else flowing into the moment.  It helps me to FEEL more clearly sometimes, more powerfully.  Most, though, it helps me to let go and Be. There is plenty of research that shows that certain rhythms are more conducive to alternate states of consciousness.  You will note that many shamanic traditions use certain cycles of sound that actually help in people moving into dissociated states, or trance states.  These states aren’t where you are no longer present, but where you can be powerfully present but not as engaged in ego and mind as you were before.  Some walls come down as you let yourself become seduced by how wonderful everything feels and the universe can’t help but peek through the edges as you give yourself permission to melt into it.  Knowing what works best for you will be a choice based on simple experience. I find that repetitive music can help, but the music has to change or else it feels….”blaaah” to me.  There has to be some variety in the piece.  It might be that something by Brian Eno, with his solid and nearly unchanging tones can go well with work that takes a long time to produce but also helps to frame a certain state of mind and keep you rooted in the place and state that you desire.  I think it has a lot to do with being able to mirror the music with the piece and what it embodies.  I knew a grad student whose studio was above mine who would listen to the same song literally over and over for hours….months.  He did his entire MFA show to the sounds of Prince’s one song….”I Would Die For You.”  I got why he used the song.  For him, it had all the right energy for helping him to reach the place he needed for his work.  I tended to try to keep a different schedule than him since I had heard enough of that one song.  Luckily he also would use headphones.

I have found that I no longer like to work alone.  I like what can happen in the midst of collaboration.  Each person inspiring the other, each coming up with things that might never have been tried, or considered. One person’s own strengths being augmented by and influenced by the strengths of another.  Its interesting how in the past I could not have done this since I had such a singular way of working.  Now, I find myself so untethered in some ways that I am ready to work in a more collaborative way with the right folks1  In one case, the universe brought me someone who said “create it….I have given you my thoughts, but take it and run with it!”  and so I did.  What marvelous freedom.  Having the right chemistry makes all the difference, which is why letting the universe bring you those people purely by “chance” and serendipity can be so perfect.

It doesn’t need to be art, though.  It can be ANYTHING that you find creative.  People who are system engineers find great creative fulfillment in finding ways to make a plant operate more efficiently, for example.  A mechanic might build a dune buggy, or an electric bicycle, for instance.  It could be that cooking becomes a whole new passion as you discover new flavors and ways of cooking you have never tried before.  Being able to make food that feels good to your evolving palette can be incredibly rewarding.  Might be that you become more sensitive to food additives, or allergic to foods you never were allergic to (both has happened to me since K began to move), and being able to choose the right things that make you feel better when you eat might be perfect all the way around.  Just being able to feed your friends could be the same as making a beautiful painting.  It might be that its more enjoyable when you can cook with others, working towards a common goal. you obviously need to be able to work in a kitchen with the right person who can anticipate what you might need or know when to stat chopping and let you get at the stove!

Whatever path you choose, learning how to bring the creative into your day to day will help to crunch some of those more crusty parts, and begin to allow a more rewarding flow into your day to day.
Its interesting that like how the creative moves in the studio and in me, so does the act of removing those hard parts of myself.  I don’t always know what I am letting go of, but the act of letting go feels about the same when I create as when I let go of some ancient karmic thread or other.  Its not NEEDING to know I think that seems to do it.  Sometimes I AM curious to know the source of a given issues that is falling away, and in those cases, I have been shown.  By that time, it was already being released and was gone, never to return.

I once was highly skeptical about art being a therapeutic device.  Now I am sure of it!
One final note, and an important one….  I think that its important that you work so that you do not feel funny or self conscious if you can’t draw perfectly, if visual art is what you decide to do. Its real good if you can adopt an attitude where you are less invested in an outcome and more invested in enjoying the activity.  If you can do that, it can be very helpful. Building a sense of expectation into the moment can sometimes make us feel limited, or freeze up some.  This is supposed to be fun!  Learning advanced techniques takes a long time to master, so be easy on yourself.   This is all difficult, and can take years to master.  It might be that you do work that doesn’t rely on your lack of skill with a given type of art.  What about making rich colorful fields of color, designs, or other ways of expressing? If you watch children making art, you realize that the guts of the operation is in how much fun you can have just MAKING the stuff!  Its only when kids start worrying about how they are able to draw hands or faces or people that they draw into their shell.  If you can create with wild abandon, you have a much better chance at creating something that you will feel good about and be more likely to return to.  Be loose, but be intense!

The Role Of Creativity

 

Detail, blown glass, ©Parker Stafford

One very big coping mechanism available to you in the midst of an awakening is creativity.  I cannot tell you how big this one is.  In fact, I feel its the very essence of this experience.  It was learning how to use creativity as way of tapping a clearer state of being that helped clear a channel within for this energy to flow in a way where it did not cause me to feel discomfort.  At the time, ego was very much installed front and center in the self.  What creativity allowed me to do was to channel the energy of transformation.

I have been an artisan for years.  I knew for years before that that many ideas had a way of showing up, as part of what inspiration was all about. This was an elusive creature, and artists often speak of chasing it, trying to find it as the one thing that brings their work new breakthroughs, new connections made within the self that allows for  interesting things to happen.  Musicians, for example, often speak of allowing the music to flow through them.  Mozart spoke of it in terms of something being channeled.  When everything is just right, the mind fires up, with the left and right hemispheres working together in a cooperative way that makes this experience possible.  Indeed, it is a kind of partnership of the self.  The whole self.  The left, the right, the masculine and feminine.  In an awakening something happens where both sides of the self merge into a greater unity.  The power of this union is echoed in the writings of early Christian mystics, of eastern gurus and those of us touched by it in the modern day. 

We very much associate creativity as being aligned with the feminine.  I think there is a reason for that.  Masculine is very aligned with action.  When alive in equal measure, the masculine can deliver the spark that results in the feminine bringing forth new forms, new ideas, things entirely beyond imagination only moments before. Its as though the masculine gives a sense of direction, of volition, intent, while the other side of it brings nothingness into somethingness as a result of the catalytic contribution of the masculine.  Its not one of the other, but both sides of our being working together in partnership.  This is a healing of the rift within, a movement towards wholeness of the left hemisphere/ male, right side/feminine.

 

Closeup detail, blown glass form, ©Parker Stafford

I feel that the fabric of the universe is predicated on creative energy.  Its how we show up here.  Its how dreams form, how new ideas emerge. Its the result of the polarity present in all things, pulling even the smallest of particles into a kind of relationship.  When enough of this happens, we can have life emerging, for example. We have creation myths that are...well....based in creative energy.  Something from nothing, something out of the consciousness of something still larger, given a new life, a life of its own.  And certainly our own creations are this.  A new idea can spread across the globe, filtering into the awareness of many people.  A song does this, a painting, and even the moment when someone does something new and different, through inspiration, that brings  a new way to do things that make life better or different.  It can lead to seeing and feeling in new ways, and it can literally shift our world individually and en mass.  Its a very civilizing effect.  It is the natural state of grace within us.  It is the grace that need not be tied to any belief or dogma, but to your own nature, your own feeling being.

Creativity once broke free the logjam within the Creator spirit.  Within it there rested countless, nearly infinite, forms, but they had not been given their own voice, their own volition.  When Creator surrendered to freedom, worlds emerged in totally unexpected ways. Creator lost control, learned surrender, and through a creative act, everything known came into being and thus also began co-creation where through the Law of Attraction, we interact with the divine universe through some very simple principles which all go back to energy...which is consciousness.  Layer upon layer of consciousness got into the act.  Our world, I suspect, was formed from the dream of those ancient beings that we are connected to, our own creators, who are also our larger selves.  Connected, children of the dawn of being, we have emerged in a world sparkling of possibility.  Creativity makes the conception of this possible.  It washes away hardness, rigidity, and fear.  It can. Some will create while worried, afraid, still chasing that elusive state of being, the creative, and may wind up finding it once the find that elusive place within where everything just clicks.  Its often a mysterious process because its not rational, not entirely.  The more you are able to slip into its flow, the more it can fill you, shift you, and blow away the cobwebs.  It is an exciting state where the air becomes rarefied.  The body responds with endorphins and even adrenaline.  In the right mix, a state of peace and excitement prevail.  We enter the garden once again.

The trick in all of this is to not direct it too much.  Support it, yes, relax, and enjoy it.  That is how this very gentle being will emerge in you.  This is the feminine side of creation.  She will fill you with inspiration when the masculine is there, supportive and feeding into her.  She will fill you with a very different sense of understanding....she is a feeling, a whole body experience whereas the masculine is more....definite in being pinpointed within.  Imagine at the top of your head are two wires that were once separate.  Now they are connected and there is this building of energy within you.  Kundalinietherically and physically.  You can use this energy.  In fact, sages yogins and priests in the past who have taught about kundalini have this idea called "sublimation."  Now, I have issues with this as my past writing has certainly pointed to. The energy is so strong, it feels like a force, a material or fluid flowing up inside of you.  Very real in this way, yes, but you are not doing what the ancients have suggested, which is transmuting bodily fluid, which is their conception of sublimation.  But the description certainly helps to explain how powerful and vivid all of this is. And so the idea is that when you take this potent energy which is so sexual and alive in you, you can use it for still larger widenings or openings of your awareness.  Certainly this is so.  By utilizing creativity, you are drawing that creative energy which is also the sexual (one powerful expression or facet of creative energy and bliss filled, too), and you can bring this energy upwards into ever higher circles of awareness within you.  As you do this, the energy which is itself conscious and aware will confer upon you awareness too.  Its an awareness that doesn't need to do anything, a feeling.  But this vast field of energy is like standing before the ocean and drawing off small amounts of it to turn it into things.  I think that this is one very big thing that teaches us directly how creation works.  We have the free will to create whatever we want.  We can create horrors or we can create amazing worlds of possibility.  We are all drawing off the same giant wellspring of being within and around us.

What creativity can do is to allow you to play, to loosen up, to stop being so rigid, afraid, and frozen.  Creativity, though, is predicated on letting go.  So is awakening. They go hand in hand in this respect.  Its an entirely non dogmatic method for reaching the place within that can help you to move, to flow, to be more whole.  It can give your rational mind the activity it needs while the larger self flows out all around you and feels more whole, more expansive.  Artists spend their whole lives chasing this often elusive state.  I think that by understanding how it all works could be a useful too in reminding yourself how you need to be.....which is a feeling after all, a simple way to relax. The other very important part of doing well in the creative state is to be present.  By being present, you do not worry how your creation is going to turn out.  You give yourself the room to get out of your own way by doing this, you release anxiety and fear, no matter how small or insignificant.  When you stop anticipating what will happen next, you are free to do what must be done in the present.  You stop living in the future and start living in the NOW.  This is very important.  The energy of awakening, while unbounded and free, seems to express itself best in the moment where your body is, where your awareness is most powerful.  Its a simple thing, really, but is sometimes elusive for all the mind chatter and habitual movement into the future.  When a child is lost in creativity, s/he isn't thinking about anything else except how nice everything is in the moment, a part of them willing to suspend expectation for a bit in order to see what emerges.  This is where he larger self can begin to slip through.  It isn't that the larger self is some voice in the clouds or some being in a fiery bush.  Its within you in the simplest of ways, but it has a kind of expansiveness about it and can bring a supreme peace to you. Peace is a very good thing. 

If you have trouble being present and not feeling some edge of anxiety, I suggest that you do a simple breathing exercise that will bring you to the present moment and get you back into your body.  By breathing through each nostril four times with the other nostril closed, making sure to breathe out of your mouth all the while and breathing out in a long slow sigh (don't breathe fast---think about how you might breathe while asleep and you will get the rhythm about right for this to work the best).  Once you have done this, you may find that whatever you were doing or thinking that led you to a nervous or agitated state has entirely gone out the window. How do you feel different than a moment before. What is different?  Are you much more present? Calmer? This can be a very powerful way to help yourself to settle into the present.  The while point is to create in a way that is more balanced.   You can always create in a very rational way, yes, and while it will offer some rewards, you can go much deeper into it if you let yourself. You will discover you have a great capacity to go ever deeper into this, much deeper than you thought was possible. it will lead to spontaneity,

The advantage that creativity can bring you is that it will blow away the blocks in your awareness and your emotions.  It will help you feel better.  It will make you feel more unified.  Trying to use this energy in an awakening can be amazing.  What new things might you create?  Imagine what might be possible while creating under the influence of this marvelous thing!
                                                                      
You don't have to feel "artistic."  Creativity flows all through your life. Its how you clean, its how you change a tire, or how you problem solve.  Its how you arrange flowers, wash the clothes, go about your day.  Your life can be a work of art, most certainly, but this thing is present in your day to day even though you do not feel like you are being creative.  When you engage both sides of your awareness and being, you are essentially tapping this creative font of being. We are all artists of one kind of another when we wake up to the fact that creativity is in every nook and cranny of our lives.  Henry Ford made cars three a day, then using his creativity, he was able to make one every thirty minutes.  This same thing has transformed our lives in innumerable ways.  Einstein used it as he rode that trolley car, imagining he was a beam of light when relativity struck into his entire being.  So powerful was the effect that he had to get off the trolley car.  The effect was so powerful that he felt it all through him. When a woman conceives, it is said she nurtures a miracle.  And so it is. An amazing miracle of our being here.  It civilizes us as our world is made more colorful, more appetizing with new menu items, new choices for experience. Its everywhere.  Your clothing was designed, the car you drive was designed, as was your tableware, the cups you drink from and the web sites you visit.  Its all made out of this creative fire that someone had, whether designing a tumbler or making up a business plan, painting, or child.

You just have to let it flow.  You have to be taken by it, seduced by its energy, willing to not know where it will take you.  If you are to intent on knowing where it will lead you, your own ego will get in the way and try to control things too much.  Mind and heart work together, even if they don't know exactly how its done, only that when merged, bliss is the result.  Yes, you DO direct it.  Yes.  You are co-creator in all of this.  You can, though, bring more material in on its wings if you will allow yourself to not always know why you are doing something or where you are going with it.

Last semester I had a student who is a perfectionist who was driven to tears as she stood by her work, barely started, unable to conceive how on earth she was going to be able to make something out of mere clay.  She was thinking it to death.  And she got scared.  What ifs filled her mind.  These grew from the little things they ought to be into dragons.  I said she was standing shivering on the edge of the river bank and all she needed to do was jump in.  Who knows if the water is cold.  Maybe it is, but all her friends were in there, beckoning her to just jump in.  And when she did, it was hardly anything worth worrying like she had over it.  She just jumped in.  No thinking, just merely intent.  And once in, she was at peace and relieved.  Turns out she had had a teacher many years ago who had not recognized her own innate creative self.  She thought of herself as an artist, and a bad experience resulted in her feeling fear.  Fear is the death of love, and of creativity.  All my students who are shut down are also fearful.  I simply let them know that for this time, they wont be whacked over the head.  Go play, I say. Make something that you will enjoy.  This is your chance.  And loosening up, they do. Uncertain at first, shivering by the edge of that vast river, they jump in and the room changes over a period of two days. Everyone relaxes and gets into their groove.  And just like swimming, you just DO it.  You don't have to think it to death.  You just move through it and enjoy how it feels to be part of this creative medium, your ocean of creation. Its less a plan as an experience.  You can plan and design, but this current must flow in order for it to be inspired.  Sometimes, just gazing out a window can be the perfect time for this lightening to strike you.  I have a student who gets ideas when she is taking a shower.  Its sometimes when aren't TRYING, but relaxing into a calm state. 

Let it flow. Allow yourself to direct, yes, but allow for the possibility for irrational decisions to be made in the moment.  You don't need to know.  And don't worry if they don't work out. Its a mystery, an experiment, and there will always be another opportunity to try again if for some reason things don't work out as you had anticipated.  Maybe next time, you will anticipate less and participate more. 

I blow glass. I make objects of sparkling beauty out of this alchemical material.  Made from earth, air and fire, water is used to cool and shape it.  The material is so fluid, I most often  let the material to flow into the shapes that it seems to most easily want to be.  That is how it seems.  Turning round and round, the forms are rounded, sumptuous, sensual and brilliant.  While its a lot like ballet where many moves are not as easy as they look when performed, when you reach a place where you can move the work without thinking about it, I am freed up to allow this current to flow through me and I find some part of me emerge that is without thought but presence. Interesting things happen when all of this goes on. Sometimes I don't even remember how something new was done.  New things come forward and I am part participant and part director.  Finding something that you are comfortable and enjoy doing is a big step I think.  Here, in the joy of doing, the flow can be felt.  When I have people in the studio working for the first time, everything goes so fast there isn't time to get too scared or tied up. Then people realize that with a little help, they are making sheer beauty!  And this feeling is huge, because its unifying and very encouraging.  The material captivates.  And its a good one because you can pour it onto the floor and pick it up after it has cooled and the drizzles will themselves catch the light and dazzle the eye.  Knowing that, its hard to make something that isn't marvelous.  And when you can feel THIS way, it opens a place of grace within you.  And through this grace-filled moment, the universe of you flows. There is a universe hiding inside, just waiting to be discovered!

 

Gold Andromeda Geode, ©Parker Stafford

www.hypersmash.com