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Friday, October 24, 2014

Healing the Womb of Woman and Man - The Return To The Garden

The old lineage speaks of the light body containing both the man and woman, a kind of totality in one.  The yin and yang.  Lock and key.  We are this.  All is this, down to the atom.  Simple, uncomplicated, but capable of great complexity.  The making of reality, of worlds. 

In each of us twin currents reside.  These two we call the man and woman.  What they are is a mystery.  Keeping them a mystery gives them room to grow.  Within us all, the marrow of matter and the soul of being exists a template, a field of energy that naturally organizes within us a range of vibration.  This field, which is the light body, capacitated by the electricity that our bodies generate, we bring the cosmic into our bodies.  Conductors of the cosmic bliss field.  But awareness is necessary to turn it on.  Within it lies a range of vibrations, currents and bundles of energy that go from low to high.  Within this field fear can cause energy to slow, creating an attenuation of the flow. Within this flow, the chakras spin and move, vortices corresponding to different vibrations that serve to make up our experience.  As each center is cleared, awareness clears also.  What once mastered us is no longer.  Old programs in this field are overwritten.  A new story is possible.  The chalk board, which seemed chiseled in stone is rendered to clarity and emptiness. 

IN each of us lies a center within the root to sacral that is the foundation for the creative energies that we use to build our lives; our abundance, our sense of nurture, self worth, and creative potential.  Little surprise that these form a kind of nexus where the creative energies are at their peak in the most sensual of ways.  As long as these centers are blocked, it is hard for many to create from the place of the root/sacral duality.  This forms, energetically, a womb within.  It is a place, where whether you are a man or woman, you can tap into it and begin healing this area within your energy field, the light body.  For men who have not experienced nurture as children, feeling the flow of this energy within is an epiphany moment.  It has the capacity to heal and set right what had been wrong for so long.  For women, it can put you back in touch with the nurturing force that brought you into this world and which you emulate now as a woman. This nurturing sense that lies within the feminine psyche is powerful when we are aligned with bodies that are female.  The spiritual becomes manifest for women, and the healing power that a woman holds exists in her ability to birth new ideas, new ways of being and seeing.  Woman is one side of the creative paradigm.  And so it should be no surprise that when men are able to tap this region that it can put them into touch with their own creative potential.  This is about making men less then men, but waking us all up more to our potentials as human beings.  This is less about the experience of actual conception and life nurture in the womb and more about how our energy bodies coincide with these parts of us. 

The great challenge is that the womb of every person on the planet is in rough shape.  The act of clearing this, of cleansing and healing is something that will make your own creative potential something that is capable of reaching a new place of realization.  I wont say it will make you crazy creative, because creativity is in truth something that we bid....that we bring into us as a type of grace that is akin to falling in love.  It is a surrender of the self to something larger within and without. It is really quite beautiful.  Its message touches on this world and more. 

It is time to recognize the feminine in each of us so that we might be nurtured, softened, humanized, awakened to our greater potential. 



For the last year I have been doing this work, feeling the last parts of my own inner clearing take place as what remains expresses as a field of old hurt radiating through my energy body, now chiseled down to the root and sacral and which now feels like.....a womb form.  So much of it now is about a fundamental form of creativity, of rebuilding the self, of remaking the self.  It is here in our own energy womb that we do this.  While I have a keen awareness of feeling the past in this region, simply placing your awareness in this location is enough to begin to build awareness. Imagination, believe it or not is the builder of reality when it comes to the energetic world. It is in this gateway that all creation begins. 

Breathing into the center is one way to being feeling your energetic potential there.  the results of getting in touch with it might not be immediate for some.  Give it time.  Using your mind to see this region of your body being cleansed by a wave of deep ocean blue, of wind, or fire.  Burning, transforming, cleansing.  Feeling into this, imagine that what comes out of this center is moved upward and transmuted as it goes.  These ancient ghosts need not be known or seen.  it is the past and it is enough to allow them to remain this way.  Moving this material is itself the most compassionate thing you can do for yourself and the planet because it frees up creative potential in a way that is new.  It is something that we all could use here on the earth. 

Allowing breath to become the chief means for moving energy, you can imagine breath as water or fire or any number of elements that serve to move energy in your body.  A simple "I am ready" is often enough to begin the loosening process and then being willing to go back to it numerous times to reinforce the loosening.  Pay attention to your dreams and giving yourself the suggestion upon going to sleep that you will continue to do this work in your dreaming will help to reinforce awareness about the issue.  the first step toward healing is awareness.  Just like with creativity, there is also another aspect to the creation and healing paradigm; incubation.  Often using the conscious mind is necessary to initiate the process of healing, but the subconscious may need some times for the information to perculate through it if it is going to be of any assistance.  This incubation period is indeterminate; everyone is different so a day or week or month....and even years are possible.  The trick I have found is that when you can cease trying to achieve preconceived notions of what it is you need or want, you literally allow the most easily things to be healed first.  I can tell you that in awakening, my release of material has gone in a fashion where the easiest things have gone first.  It all has had a logic of its own that is based on the path of least resistance.  Do you know what is the most ready to go within you? It is possible to let your higher self do the work for you.  To do this, you simply need to take a simple perspective; allow yourself to be led.  Christians speak of giving it up to God.  This is itself not that different. When we surrender like this, we put our fate into the hands of our higher order, our higher selves.  It always results in the best possible outcome each and every time. It means learning to trust instead of having to always try to figure out what needs to be done.  When stacked against cosmic consciousness, I choose it each and every time over the mere rational mind.  There is something about its existing outside of time that gives it a unique perspective. 

If you can follow this kind of route, you can, without aid of teacher or guru, find the exact things that you need most to heal and release.Your awareness will grow with each release, with each shift.  As this happens, these releases can lead to large avalanches within that helps to lead you back to your essential self. 



It is time.  You can create this garden within one release at a time just like a gardener pulls up old noxious weeds.  The secret?  The Tree of Life lives inside of us.  The Garden of Eden is who we are, our light bodies.  Adam and Eve both exist side by side within us in our light bodies, the fusion of the yin and yang, the shakti and shiva.  We were meant to be this.  Not androgynous, no, but bearing the most that we can be so that we can understand more clearly how to bridge the gaps that may greet us in life less as problems and more as opportunities for understanding and healing. 

May we all find the light that is within, to know it in each moment in each day.  This light has the power to transform us.  All of us. 

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Follow the compass point of your being
even if a thousand others disagree....
the compass will always be true
even if it does not win you the admiration
you thought you were after.

When we argue with anothers' path to the summit
we dishonor a piece of the infinite dwelling in
everything.

The path that escapes us is the path
that greets others.

Trust

The trust
the care
when all seems lost
the bright emerges amidst the dark
this ancient cosmic play
of truth
and illusion
which leads us each along the way.

What is our story?
Why are we here?
We ask these questions
in our darker ways
when we know
deep down
a struggle between
what is
and what we think we are
seeking.
The triad unfolds
worldless, simple,
and shows the way
but rushing it
it has its own pace
which is oddly
like lightening
and sometimes living in the lives of snails
and stones
sleeping for centuries
beneath the gloom
to be birthed into new life.
All of it a big rush
it seems
and sudden stillness reigns
before the next lightening flash.

Trusting
that all of this
which preceded
and prophesiedit
is less a comprehending
more a knowing
seeds already sown....
much wonder before the sprouting.

Trust
that it comes of its own accord
when bidden
when sought
when all ways are pressed into it
a soft spoken sigh
leading to imperishabillity.

So come to me my garden soul
my forgotten One
Did I fear you?
How do I seek you
how do you seek me?
How does this union come
after so long running in old circles?
How many millstones have been rendered to dust by this?

Seeking it in a thousand faces
for a thousand lives
outwardly
not aware that the inner drives what is outward
now returning to the dust of those ancient days
to till new soil to prepare for the union
of the perfect love that exists first within
we had it backward
didn't we?

I am asking now
asking you to show yourself
so you might show me
what I have for so long blindly done without
it seems until I acknowledge you
make you part of my wholeness
that I wont know wholeness.....

I sometimes wonder
is this all made up....
and do we, in creating it
set the rules
by which it all happens
just because the universe is so eager
by any rule
even a cheat
to find its way back
to the golden moment
where we each return to zero.

Until then
this great yearning
is knowing itself through its blindness
until it sees you clad
in that garden of ours
and perhaps I will know
then
that it was never any other way
save for this story I tried to write
in this world
but seemed to fail at each step along the way.
But I think that these last steps are the most important
as they were saved for last.

In each moment I am seeking to invite you in
to see you there
to know your presence
your guidance
your wisdom
your knowing.
I am laid out
like a corpse
all errors removed
too far now to go back
to pretend this did not happen.
No Kansas is in my future
and thank god for that.
But I will trust
in lying myself open
that everything will resolve back
to what is
golden. 

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Actually...

Actually.
I do.
I do!
I do care
it is why I am here
apparently!

That this world might be improved in some measure
maybe not by grand sweeps of events
but by a simple whisper
sent out on the wind
or a glance
resolving into peace and awe.

Something in me
the best that I bear
is why I care...
such a grand creation as this
bearing such genius
in its design.
I am awed by its masterful assembly
intertied,
connected,
multiversal
uncompounded
and whole.

It is enough for me to forgive
all of the trouble found there
with all the possibility standing before it.
Can't we make it so?
It could happen....
so simply.

But I know that for it to be
it must be for me
and me alone
owned,
known
deeply felt.
Certain
and upfront
I hope it undoes me
completely.

For without that special force
that has been working in me
even as I tremble
holding onto the edges
of what was
I tell myself
"This is why I am here.
To be completely undone."
For without it, how can I know the More
I have come here for?

Gosh!
Such a frail being
held
bounded
by minutae
and flesh
but ready to burst
flower-like
cosmic mandella
touching upon the infinities.

I need only say it
and it can be.....

Care

I don't care.....
the world might turn to dust
and the sky run dark
and all of it pass away
but I just can't care
for the illusions
that all of this
could matter more than this love that lives inside
that animates
and tells me there is no others
finer than this.

So bad news
it has always been.
Good news or not,
it all transits
imperishabillity. 

Between me and God
Between God and me.
All lessons learned
was it ever about any other? 

If I can keep it between me and that other greatness
then all will resolve into such greatness....
I take this small place to stand
this humble beginning
stepping from beginning to beginning
each moment fresh as the opening bloom
as brilliant as the lightening flash
as sure as the lessons of the past
to bolster me in the challenges which stand
waiting along the wings of all my tomorrows.

True to this heart
no more pretense
making it be between anything other than the divine
is just asking for trouble
when the world opens up its treasure trove
possibilities
rendered as multiplicities
infinity dancing on the head of a pin
and wonder in a drop
and a world waiting for me
as I feel its trembling presences
exploding into meanings
I have always hid
but can no longer
as water-like
it flows out of me
like creeks to a deep blue sea.
The inevitability shakes me....

All Ways

Listen to your heart
to the drum beating
the lesson coiled
lying so close within
that in more troubled times
it eludes you.

Don't let it elude.

Bring it so close, hold it so precious
believe in what it says
for it is never wrong.
Its love is broader than the broadest sky
and not listening will only darken your days
and trouble your nights.

You don't even need to know how tomorrow will turn out.
Only that right this moment
what your heart has prepared for you
is enough.
Tomorrow?
This is never promised
but the heart in the brilliances of Now
knows with wisdom
what the mind cannot.

So wear it on your sleeve
scatter it through your life
and believe in what it is telling you
and urging you to
because a heart opened
in truth
and innocence
will bring you to what is always your very best.

I know
that I lived a life where I tried to please
others by not listening to the one thing
most important
and in so doing
slipped and feel from a great height.
But I am making my way back
to its blessed light.
No one might be there
Nothing may greet me
and the world could turn to ash
but this one great love
can build all worlds anew
within me
because
and for
me.

And so can it do
for you
and anyone else who dares
to listen to that drum beating
deep within.
Different drummer?
Most certainly
it MUST be!

So listen
even if it makes no sense,
no ordinary listening
is required of this
but deeper down beyond all noisy desire
and into the place of great silences
paused only by that great drawing in
before pushing the great blood of life out
again
and again and again.
There it is
all around you
All Ways.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The Chamber

Within essence
there rests a chamber
given to each
for each
a divine gift
a secret
waiting four the moment
of our discovery.
Every cell is made to know it
yet our own mind takes its time
to find it. 

A chamber
resting deep and still
filled with glory
beauty
wonder
and awe.

The way to it
is without direction
found only in feeling
it is beyond the world
while resting within it.

The chamber is the essence of our own Tao
who we are in our higher form
and where we return
when we are each ready.

This is the chamber of union within
where all that was done
is undone
where all that was made
is unmade
where all that was not loved
is loved
into brilliance
and bliss.

He turns in this place
no other world concerns him
his journey here
lifetimes in making
yet no life has he lived
he is self-begotten
and knows himself through
his other forms
but is himself formless
plucked from essence
and resolving into imperishability.

Illusion is destroyed here
a sense that things are separate
as union begets union
deeper and deeper
a Yantra made up of his own being
a drop in the primordial ocean
ripples outward forever into phenomena
as his bliss is known as THE bliss
as the god in him knows the god in all
as what is smallest returns to the largest
as he makes certain circles
around that which is no longer separate
but it worshipped
and loved
moment by moment by moment
like suspended particles
frozen into time
but free from it all at once.
He has a love inside of him unlike any he has ever tasted
or known
and has born dissatisfaction
in all of his manifestations
until they each wake up to the deeper truth of it
and the love that abides
and rests
in the silence of this chamber
where bride and groom
are joined.

When we are one and become two
what will each of us do?
When we are two
we return into the one.
Turning this way
in sacred circles
eyes looking deep within Her
searchlights
for what the world can become.
When the two dissolve into one
and pull and push apart
so to merge again and again
each time new realizations
born in this movement
worlds forming
of their own accord
the essence of the creative
manifesting
turning
returning
healing
churning
moving
illuminating.

There is nothing that does more
to crack open the dark places
turning and churning in this capsule
beyond all time
brilliant depths moved
far beyond any physical frame
yet touching upon them all
and seeding them silently
potently
certainly
waiting until waiting is filled
and the world of it
bursts open
new and old and all places inbetween
a totality
swept up within it
and transmitted through all time
all places.
Creation realized anew in each moment
in each new thing
a microcosm
within the infinite.

The essence of this feeling
which leads you there
finds you there
a place without a journey
a world within all form
awaits the union of each of ourselves
as we are brought to the All
into that which we are
each complete
but incomplete
pushing and pulling against the
opposites of our natures
and teasing out the creations
that reveal what it is in each moment.
In each moment the mantra is
love
love
love
love.

The signal comes through
enters this world
like some distant broadcast
its story changes the moment
as possibilities multiply
and creation grows fertile
with its promise
that we are it and it is us
and we meet in the chamber
and realize it is living out
its existance in our lives
in the gentle caress of the sky
the wonder of water
the warmth of fire
and the turn of days.
It is implicite in all that we see
but look for it
or dive for it
it does not matter;
it resides in the grass
it is within you
it is in all things
it simply is.
Tao-like
turning
blue and gold
cool and warm
all opposites are merged
in this place
this world
that is our own.

Touch it and touch all times
know all worlds that will be or were known
the moment freezes
becomes all moments
as a window opens
and allows you through to all times
and places
not for knowing
but for pure awe and wonder.
It exists in this moment
and all other moments
yet no eye can see
but all hearts can feel.  

All of the moments of magic in my life
has been bounded by this
gathered by it
made true by it
and moved me forward
magnetic and certain
even as other scoffed
and derided
I knew the truth of it
for it was the greatest truth of all
if was my own
as I seek it fervently
hungrily
for the healing it affords
the freedom it bestows
the wonder it instills
and the fire that it ignites.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Love

We speak of love.....it is this many faceted thing....love for a life, a car, or a carnival ride....love for a subject, a hobby, a passion in life and then...

The love of others.  Our children, our spouse, wives and husbands, significant others, lovers, friends, our family ancient and newly minted.  Each, a different love we experience and feel.

Spreading out before these loves is a force beyond, difficult sometimes to capture, sometimes hard to even feel, but that exists in forms that are more like forces of nature.....higher dimensional expressions of love as this love floods through blood and vein.  This is not some abstraction, it is the fruit hanging on the far limbs that are often missed.  It is not some vague nothingness, but a great something that has the power to change you.  But it can SEEM like an ambiguous abstraction to those who have not known it or felt it.  It can lead to misunderstanding, illusion......as these things have always have since understanding it perfectly is so necessary for something that goes beyond mere myth-making as we, humans, have want to do.

This love is the same love I was directed to to write about in my book, events that happened that were unbelievable in how they unfolded....one of which involved a voice inside my head urging me to go to the "nearest body of water." What unfolded was a three-part synchronistic event that led me to a book that explained the issue I was having trouble explaining perfectly.  It is in the book.

And this love is in you, and will flow through you, as if a voice from another world just beyond your reach....limited, you thought love was FOR something.  This love IS something....a living presence that sets up shop, broadens awareness and can, if you make yourself utterly available, into a different person.....no, not different....but redeemed.

Free.  Free from belief, from dogma, from agendas, from need, want, and from what once imprisoned you, which was that love was FOR something....anything.  The fountain goes from gushing with a leak to healing the leak and is now overflowing.  And how is this possible?  Forgiveness.  But forgiveness actually comes TO yourself as the chief way of actually healing the hurt from the past.  Tired?  Had enough beating yourself I over the whipping post?  How many lashes do you think your enemies deserve?  What hurt do you think this is doing to you?  We most often miss the harm we do to ourselves when our anger, rage, jealousy, or loss moves us to lash out.....and might I say, this is not love but a shadowed land of our own making.

This love, it is the great sky over us all.  You cannot know it until you let it seep down into your very bones.  How life hanging it is, how it continues to change and stir us.  Healing the pain we have carried for so long is a necessity if our own awareness is to accelerate and expand.  This returns us to smile places....places of peace, simple pleasures, to our own joy and our own....love.  Just FEELING this is so important.....and yet, so many don't know it is there.  But it is.

Just saying it could make it happen.  Great things await!  Ask yourself what remains for you to know, then wait by the waters of your intuition, unexpectant of what the answer might be, and see.  Surprises await!

Up!date

Several weeks ago, after having spent months revising, and editing the content of the book Waking The Infinite, I suddenly found myself at....the...end!

Wow.  I got through it?

Bear in mind, this project has become a monster or sorts.  It grew from notes on slips of paper and napkins from the first weeks of awakening all the way through numerous versions, rewrites, edits, etc.  The challenge, I soon observed, was the strategy of knitting all these pieces of paper, like a quilt worked, but it made organizing everything a real challenge.  When the book grew to 750 pages with 8.5" x11" margins, you have a "cut" book somewhere between 1100 and 1200 pages!  Now, imagine editing such a beast.  It is like making order out of a vast apartment complex with furniture in each room, apartment, and seeking to arrange each apartment in a way that makes sense, is easy to navigate and to understand.  So when this got cut down to a mere 160 pages and then built back up to its current 350 pages, a lot more has flowed and made better sense.

But....continued improvements have been made to bring greater simplicity in the story as well as balance and flow.  The book has changed each time, evolving at each change.  I was hoping to keep that early spirit present in awakening present in the work, along with the blind spots, the lessons, assumptions made...all of it....THERE.  This has been a continual evolution.

The main thrust of the book is about how love guides this process, a love that is higher order in nature, a realization driven home by an event that took place in the most inexplicable way during the course of writing the book.  It is also a book that pulls back the veil on how our physiology ties into awakening.  All of this is physical, folks, and I have been keen on observing how this all plays into this....and how it reveals HOW consciousness is tied into our physiology and how it is that events will take on very unusual characteristics when the flood of energy flows when awakening comes.  WHY? The answer, based on my personal observations, the observations of others, as well as some interesting observations and research being done on the brain's dual-hemispherical focus in our bodies corresponds to what the ancients have been saying for thousands of years.  Connected to all of this is how this can point to how you are can form the basis for events in your life.  Matter and mind are not separate, and this little rabbit hole goes deep, leading each of us to conclusions that are inevitable.  :-)

Right now I am adding a small bit of additional information in several chapters while also trimming the book down so it is not too lengthy.  I will have a round of observant eyes on the book to help to point out issues I may have missed in structure and hopefully to help make the book the best it can be.  And trust me when I say, I am extremely anxious to get this project put to bed!  I don't know how it will get published, but I will be seeking an agent first whom I hope will be the right person for pushing the project forward.  If that does not yield the results I hope for, I will pursue self publishing avenues.  And boy, has the publishing world really changed!  Any release will be announced here first along with e-book conversions as well.

That is the news from the Mountains of  Virginia!  Lots of interesting things to write about, but as I sit and watch the foot of snow we are said to be getting, I am reminded that I have a two mile walk ahead of me in rapidly dropping temperatures.  It's great to sit and sip coffee in our local java jive place with old tunes playing, but it's time to get out the weather to find my way home!

~Parker

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Where We Shine


We are the ones who get in our own way, never realizing sometimes just how we sabotage ourselves.  So much of our suffering comes from looking outwardly and pointing to others, outside, for why we suffer, or why we have troubles or grudges or hurts or issues.  Year after year, layer by layer, I have watched as my life has changed right along with these changes within my own awareness…..old knots, blocks, samscaras, transmuted, replaced by the opposite the very next moment.  The very next moment.  I release a big old block from my heart and within hours the phone is ringing, resources of a different source pour in where before its shadow was all that could get through.  And it is why we feel the world is out to get us because these shadows are there IN us, and we do not realize its not the world that is set against us, but that a part of the world is its ability to mirror what we are, to follow our FEELINGS which are so often governed by our shadow or latent hurt or sense of somehow being limited…..but it isn’t the world as much as it is our impact energetically on the world.  The world, I know, is a chalkboard, a clean slate, a neutral slate, actually, upon which we write such permanent feeling things. It is only we who give them power.  But we shake our fists at this chalk dust and say how unfair the world is.  It is just chalk.  It is ours.  When we own it, we can release it. Face it, forgive it.
Every time I have ever sought to forgive another for the hurt done to me during this journey into myself has resulted in my becoming aware that it was not the Other that I needed to forgive, but that it was myself that needed to forgive itself.   Something in me seems magnetized, highly aware of the truth in this one shining moment of realization, as each time it was something I could not forgive myself, something that I held seemingly against the world that resolved all the way back to its roots into me.  Karma is never created because of another.  Never.  Karma is created by each of us on our own because of choices we each make in how we choose to respond, feel, or react. Choices that are based on how we choose to feel and react to the reality before us.  Many of these reactions aren’t even based on knowing the full story.  We assume, we let our beliefs or biases fill the gap in our understanding of what is true and then we MAKE that filling-in of that gap a reality, but all it ever was, was something based on HOW we were, not how the world was at all.  A parent, working long hours, is believed to be uncaring of his child because, after all, if he cared, he would be at home.  And yet, the bigger story is…well…much bigger than what the child sees or assumes.  We are all like this, misperceiving the world, seeing things as we are rather than how things are.  And this is how these misalignments lead us to karmic battles within us. We can spend lifetimes there running through the same cycles over and over until deep grooves are cut into our being which we carry over and over like old baggage from the 5th Century BC.  We go into it with our freewill and we get out of it through our freewill.  Clearing karma is clearing ones own soul.  I laugh when I think of some God judging us.  This sense of conscience exists in all things!  All things.  Even in the atom, even in the water that flows.  We each know what is right even though we have sought to hide the truth from ourselves.  But in pulling back the curtain with self honesty, these illusions cannot stand for very long.  Karma can be released quickly if you are ready.  Its is as easy or as hard as we make it. Being compassionate with ourselves and others is what most often provides the necessary sense of safety in exploring without fear of retribution, but in honestly and in our own way…..which often means going our own way.
And so, in this leg of the journey, I have found myself in a hard spot within myself.  I have realized that I have so many incredible resources that have emerged as a result of this journey, why would I let one old funky hard feeling trip me up?  Why?  No reason for that.  When I think of something, it comes to pass. Why not run with it?  Why not live abundantly?  The only thing holding me back is some old funky thing within….but even that has been only subject to a habit I have of reflecting on how others might see me or feel about me. Really.  What kind of crazy stuff is that? It is the last shovel-full of manure to be tossed from the stable of my soul.  And really, how I manifest has been pretty amazing……it is something we can all do.  It si what we are, what we each were born to do once we get out of our own way.
A few weeks ago as I drove out of my driveway it struck me that I really needed to contact a local news station to tell them about my efforts with my business, to help get the word out.  I knew that with what I did, they would probably be all over it, excited to do a story on a unique take on the holiday season.  But I stopped short.  I told myself that was too self-serving, too much….SOMETHING.  Maybe some misplaced voice was saying it was innapropriate somehow.  And yet, a story by them would have so helped me at a time when I needed it most! So I deferred.  In a few days, though, after announcing events at my studio through social media, I got a request from someone who wanted to come to my business to make some glass.  This person turned out to be a local news station meteorologist.  I again deferred saying anything that might seem self serving to this lady while she paid me to spend some hours making a variety of things she had always wanted to do with hot glass.  I knew she may have gotten pestered a lot in this way by the public.  She was at the studio to honor her Mother and make some glass.  I explained to her and her Mom what I say to most people; I am leveraging the resources I can to get the word out about my business locally, which means facebook and other sites.  If she wanted to say something about her experience, great.  I don’t twist arms, I want it to come in a genuine way, never forced.  When it is done in the right spirit, it just soars, you know?
So it came to pass that this lady could not get away to get her glass she had blown the week before.  For some reason my merchant account was not being agreeable about dealing with her credit card.  I was unable to collect payment for the private class she set up at the studio for that day when she came so I was eager to get her glass to her.  I was able to meet her to give her her glass and it turned out she took the glass back to the studio and showed some of the reporters what she had made (all of which was really great stuff) and I got a contact that same night from a reporter wanting to do a story on the studio.  So even though I resisted following through with my intention, my wish, my hope, the universe pretty well elbowed its way into my life and brought me what I needed.  Granted, it all came a couple of weeks late, it still came pretty swiftly for a guy who was resisting so hard!
Similar examples abound……events which were cancelled by others who withdrew support suddenly bloomed into the single most succesful weekend of the season…..a full two weeks past the Holidays!  Following in the wake of such hard changes, I dispaired over being able to garner the resources I needed in order to keep life and my business on a more even keel…..and yet….and yet….I felt within me this gathering storm of abundance that I knew could be tapped as though an endless spring moved beyond the small unassuming stop-cock that held back the ocean of energy and possibility, just waiting to happen, to flow into my life.  On top of this, people who had come out during Christmas were eager to come again. Others stepped in, bringing their friends and coworkers with joy and enthusiasm that quite literally lit up the studio.  On this visit one of the people who saved the day, pretty much singlehandedly, by being a supporter, said how he knew one of the anchors at another local station; he was close friends and suggested that I utilize this resource to help push the studio into a new level of exposure.  All of this coming all on its own, all stemming from an intention I have made, asking, “Mamma Universe, you are limitless even as I may think I am limited; bear to me your blessings and abundance so that I may bring my gift to my neighbors and community…”
It realy isn’t about money or things.  Its about feeling safe, about feeling supported by a force so large, it is all around us.  Had I not felt this abundance of soul come down around me that Summer night and heard Her voice speaking to me saying “Let go, let all of this hurt flow into me, let it go, let all of that old poison flow out from you into me; I shall transmute it by my blessings.  You do not know HOW to Forgive this and you don’t NEED to…you need only let go of it for a second so that it can be mine and then it will be gone….” I might not have fully realized the nature of this force….and like that, it was gone.  Like that, the tables turned from lack to greater abundance.  Abundance in feeling first.  The rest takes care of itself.  A clearer path for my own intention was what remained.  And really, that is all it is; getting the junk out of our own way so the magic  that is our own souls may better manifest as our hearts write new stories upon the chalkboard of the multiverse.  It sin’t the universe that judges us or decides.  It is in truth an inner authority, the divine within us, that does so.  When we can align to this, what I call Divine Alignment (it is also a blog by the same name), amazing things can happen for us, to us.
Just a few days ago I spoke to my daughter about the power of intention.  She has been able to see how this has worked, magically, for her Dad over the last few years.  Its not like it is a trick that I do.  I don’t.  I am not in control of what the universe sends me, but what it does send me is most often so perfect.  When I bought her a new bed, one that was taller than most beds, she said it would be great if we could find a desk that was flush with her bed so that she could sit on it and have her computer in front of her so she didn’t have to sit in a chair at her computer.  The following weekend we found someone had placed a wonderful oak desk by the curb, one that looked curiously close to what she had asked for in height.  Could it be?  There was also a desk chair that looked brand new, which was also one of the things on her list that she wanted for her room.  We set it up in the yard as we went on our errands and upon measuring it, it was the perfect height for what my daughter had wanted.  What were the chances?  This Christmas my daughter had mentioned that she wanted a very certain type of jacket for Christmas. Because of my lack of knowledge about how sizes are done with smaller kids, I was left guessing over whether a given size would be a good fit or not.  I needed to measure her to be sure, but I was never able to do this with how our schedule worked out.  I wound up with just a few days to do my gift shopping and had to pass on the coat.  This is a Navy peacoat, and her interest in it is based on how she had nestled into one of my coats which was a genuine peacoat style which she liked the feel of very much.  So this was a very specific style, not just any coat.  Last week I said I was sorry about not being able to get her the coat and suggested that we go down to the thrift store after making a clear intention to the Universe about having this type of coat.  I ended it with, “And we will know its being given when we ask that it be ten dollars!”  This was my way of adding an extra element in order to jack the odds.  We went down to the thrift store and lo and behold we found a peacoat in her size and color for $12.00!  I looked at her and asked her what the price was and gave her a sideward glance, saying, “Well, it was ALMOST the right price!”  Coats next to it were in the 20′s and 30′s.
Sometimes when I feel down, I shut myself off from these things happening…..I despair, or get down on myself, and forget that we are all this kind of magic, this kind of vibrant intention just waiting to leap out of the gate!  For my part, I feel a sense as though its just not my job to try and MAKE things happen, they come so naturally when I just step aside and trust in the universe.  And this is what I have been doing….I feel this massive abundance now that I know is just around the corner from me….why would I feel so impoverished with such incredible resources?  Why would I feel so limited when I have this father and mother who dwell within me, this yin and yang of the entirety of the universe that I can tap into with my own intention.  The purer and most direct the intention, the faster and more perfect the result!
The universe does not respond to thought alone.  It responds to FEELING.  Feeling itself is not some irrational thing, but it can have both negative and positive poles which we bring into the moment whether we are aware of it consciously or not.  This is why being in touch with all of your feelings and motivations are so important.  Do you feel worthy?  If you don’t, you will quite literally block the universe from flowing in an abundant way.  It is YOU who write  the story, so fill the story with the right feeling and it will be returned to you.  The WAY that you sow seeds is as important as the seeds that are sown.  Seeds sown in sorrow and lack tend to never even spring up and if they do, they can be children of the hand that scattered them.  So scatter your intention with joy and hopefulness and eliminate the feelings that say, “I never get what I ask for….” or “I am not worthy….” because regardless of the truth of this in the bigger picture (which is that you most certainly ARE worthy…we ALL are!), it is the picture that you are creating here and now. The problem with thought is that it can give you the grandest visions of how your life can be, but that is all it can ever be. You have to FEEL it all the way down to the bottom of your shoes and your soul before it can be something that will reflect this mental picture that you can see and know so well ….  BE it and it will show you itself AS you are.
We might appear to be limited finite beings, and in a very limited way we are….but just as a petal may think it is its own self, it is part of a larger body of being which is connected to a still larger being.  We are each multidimensional and the way toward glimpsing this is not through the rational at all, but through our one side that allows us to grasp the infinite; our feeling sides, our right brain, our boundless imagination, our own inner divine feminine, our Shakti who is the one who takes the masculine left brained intention (thought) and takes into her being so that this spark of thought is nurtured and  transformed  into an incredible miracle that is a new creation, a new life of sorts within our own lives.  This happens individually as it happens en masse.  We have an analog of the universe in us, a small mirror.  What do you wish to see in that mirror?  What brings you fulfillment?  What is in your highest to be, to do, to become?  Sometimes its the simple things….a desk for your daughter, a weekend at the studio helping people tap their inner creative fire, helping a friend selflessly, with full blessings and joy.  Sometimes its just getting the simplest of things for our most basic of  needs.  For me, I do not need much.  I just want to help change the world in whatever way I can that will lead to the highest.  Sometimes the highest is found in the simple things, which are  also glorious.


Friday, January 10, 2014

Where Fire and Water Meet

Resting deep
water churns from cool chambers
Earth
as fire from heaven
Sun
beats down in vectors and brilliances
both a knowingness
and both incomplete
both used separately
as we tried to say what was true.

But rather
I know
what we are
our true selves
is the dance of light
on cavern walls
where sun fire beams through a crack
and plays upon the surface
of the cool depths.

It is not the water
it is not the sun
it is the play of light from both reflected upon the caves of earth
within the caverns of our souls
which is where we know ourselves.

For as long as we turn to one and say
"Look here is the truth"
we have but captured a body
but not its heart
a vessel
a shell
no matter how brilliantly one may shine
or how deep the other may have gone
for it is only when the two dance as one and project
themselves
like the dance of light from the waters surface
where it is not just light
but water too
that we can glimpse
the great mystery
captured fleetingly in the balance
the merged presence
where we know ourselves the best
and  our great potential
to Be.

As long as you seek to bring back the water
so too shall you thirst for sun
and as long as you seek only sun
shall your heat seek the cool
and only in the balance
can the true mystery be observed
moving as it does
like light on the walls of all our caverns
as a dance of water and light
but neither water or light
illuminates and slakes in an entirely new way
novel
new
refreshing
and alive.