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Monday, August 27, 2012

A Beautiful Way To See Energy

We can't seem to help but divide things out according to their ying and yang-ness. Its our nature to divide things up and sometimes even see them out of context with their larger environment....which of course tends to render the thing being observed as largely meaningless except in the most limited of ways.

But consider the act of bringing them together.

Male energy strikes me as being like a linear vector-based line.  It flows from one point to anther point.  It can be logical, simple, but very potent in that simple straight-line quality.  It also makes it naturally penetrating, vibrant, alive.  However, taken alone, its like a thread without continuity.  It is a light beam that has not reached any conclusion or remains just as it is like our beam of light travelling through space.  He seems to need something more.

Female energy is like a circle.  It folds in on itself.  It moves around to its end. It creates a perfect sphere.  It creates a world that is mysterious, hidden, even. It does not seek conclusion but resides perfectly well within mystery.  It is inclusive, focused on seeing and knowing wholes as  it continually nurtures and forms new things. But as such, it can reside within so much mystery that it has a hard time being able to discern just what mystery it is seeing.  This can lead to a feeling of inaction or uncertainty.  She seems to need something more.

When paired, the vector of the male merges with the sphere of the female and they change.  Their energy now is a spiral.  Each brings their own tendency into this unity and as the feminine seeks to turn back on herself, the male pushes her forward.  As the male seeks to move forward, he is drawn back in what is a perfect merging of the two energies or qualities.

This movement is a perfect model for consciousness, evolution, and all life.  It shows up, not surprisingly in all manner of life forms from seashells to galaxies.  The Greeks found that it is so pervasive a model that they were able to create something called the Golden Mean, which is a study on proportions.  The way your hand is proportioned has a relationship to the proportion found in spiral galaxies.  The distance from your nose to your eye is proportional to the rest of your body in a very specific sequence of numbers that are seen all through nature. The curve of a fern tip is reflected in the curl of a wave not just in similarity but in how the curve actually behaves.  Its more than just a similarity, it is a series of relationships that behave similarly through all of nature.  For me, this suggests a deeper relationship at work, a kind of masterwork, a design that is inherent in natural things. For myself, I see that this is the force of the feminine and masculine working together to help form and forge physical reality.

The spiral.  It is what we are in our most harmonious state.  Moving outward, moving inward. Turning around, speeding to conclusion.  

Sunday, August 26, 2012

What If


What if I said there may not be a meridian to carry the transcendent through you…..what if I said you had two main lines of current for the yin and yang….and as these become more energized they create a field in the center that feels like kundalini rising….but is a magnetic field.  And in so doing, your thoughts become magnetic and hence, events have an odd way of happening entirely in a synchronicity fashion. No method…..a feeling.  
If I said that all art is itself learning methods…..turning words into poetry….learning grammar only to deconstruct and explode it to find the “new” form of expression. Or in art, you learn to wedge clay, weld steel, cast metal, prep a metal plate for etchings…..all technical….and yet all the truly great art entirely transcends all of this doing and method to touch upon something that has nothing whatsoever to do with technique or method.  Its not even about thinking.  Its about being.  And we say the methods are important, and yet they are not.  The method is like sex.  You only have sex, a corpse, really.  To make love, to know true ecstasy, you have to transcend the known into something revolutionary.  And its not even something that is for the elites to grind through and talk about and make charts and methodologies and critiques of because what you really need is the innocence and simplicity of a child.  the greatest art is what is done without thought.  All great artists will admit that when inspiration comes, they lose themselves in the moment and it just comes. Children are the greatest of artists and they have it beaten out of them through fear and uncertainty…..telling them they don’t know how to paint hands or faces or houses the right way.  And somewhere, maybe twenty long years of getting back to the garden, they are only successful if they can take all the have learned and transcend it.  All ner innovations often come with us saying why didn’t I think of that?  you didn’t think of it because you did not put yourself into that simple place.  Of course its simple.  When I have students who are afraid of failure as they stand before a hunk of clay I explain that they have to stop thinking and just jump in the water.  Then just experience it, and then feel okay with the mystery of it all.  It less the thinking and figuring out what the water is than it is that we simply feel it and merely convey that feeling. And most often, the method used is often vague and nondescript.  The greatest poetry is the simplest……capable of being a carrier for more than just your own meaning but a world of it.  
Between the current of reason and intuition lies a third energy.  It is transcendent and it is bliss.  It is a mystery.  And it is all of us. 

Tantric


I am a mystic tantric.  Must be. Since kundalini, it is here continuously.  The bliss flows and the only issue really is how to deal with it.  How to remain sane with such incredible energy moving through me.  
I am not a monk.  But if I were, it's a tantric monk. The world is steeped in this honied passion, a living breathing flame that engulfs everything, a woman for her man, a man for his woman. The two currents that flow into and out of each other in a continual loop of passion and ecstasy.  
The sun shine is passionate, the water that flows is passionate, the wind that blows is passionate, the energy moving through every living and nonliving thing is passionate.  it is creative, it seeks to create…..be it through making more of itself through sexual union or through other forms of creation.  Tantra is the fuel for driving to the stars.  
When it grows to such strength  it can become difficult.  Its not always easy to simply flow all the time. This leads, for me, to a kind of blissed out state that leaves me feeling fuzzy and out of focus.  I have a hard time focusing on much of anything.  I forget things.  I also worry about how I might forget something important later on, too.  I do what I can to ground myself.  I have, from the beginning, always sensed that this grounding has happened by the universal current moving from one pole of the energy spectrum to the other.  The feminine pole within takes the energy of the masculine, but within me it only serves to build. I look to the archetype of the Goddess and feel my energy being discharged through all that She is. In the earth, in the water, in all of the things on the planet. I have felt the Goddess and her presence has grown in my own awareness over time.  In the beginning she gave birth to me in a dream that marked the beginning of a radical shift in my awakening. Since then, She has become much more of a vivid and tangible force in my life even though she hides in all things.  Hidden but not hidden.  So often I imagine that my hands reach to her heart and the energy flows.  This can help, and often leads to a kind of sense of devotion to a great mystery that is consciousness.

Some adherents are tantric and move energy through the ecstasy of creative sexual energy and others use the energy in something called sublimation. No one way is better, just different.  I find I do both, and it is mostly a matter of focus or intent.  It happens as your attention or will directs or wishes.  I try to focus as much of my energy upwards through sublimation so that it can be used for creative work.  When it is not sublimated it just gets so strong its difficult to deal with sometimes when being alone.  Its like building a static charge and not having anywhere to release it.  Most often I do devotional work.  And by this, ANYTHING can be devotional…..and I prefer NOT to do obviously devotional work.  Taking flower bulbs and dividing them so they will have more room to grow is a form of devotion.  Holding a door for someone, anyone, is an act of devotion.  Sending prayerful thoughts to someone having a hard time, also devotional. And simply living life like a prayer; devotion. 
But it gets hard being a tantric type.  it isn’t that its about sex.  It isn’t in truth.  Its a force that runs so deep….its not sex like I have ever known.  It is a top to bottom ecstasy that requires of me strong reliance on my brightest nature to move through such deep waters, such powerful waterfalls and rapids.  I find I must let go entirely sometimes if I am simply to remain sane.  And I say this because I am merely human. I am not suited to sitting in a temple or ashram for hours, although sometimes my favorite thing is lying on hard cool concrete with my eyes closed feeling the pulse of the universe.  I understand how people can live in such simple surrounds.  When you have this kind of  bliss, it tends to melt desire for things very quickly.  Once you do gain the world, anything else pales in comparison. Everything becomes a dance of the masculine and feminine.  One flows into the other and out of the other and back into the other endlessly as an engine of awakening and awareness and healing.  I am trying to come to peace with the singular nature of my path and not going one way or the other but remaining in balance.  
The path itself has led to awareness of the god and goddess all around me and in me.  I say this because we are in truth one petal on a much larger flower; we live in time and yet our spirits are eternal and all existences can be touched upon in their sheer boundlesness…more petals on an eternal soul where space and time become irrelevant, tools for being but not some ultimate reality.  We are each infinite NOW.  We just wake up to it, like a flower opens to itself and feels and then sees just how limitless it is. There are gods and goddesses of you at larger scales, dimensions, and they can be called upon for tremendous healing work.  Remarkable things await if you can allow yourself to roam into these lands of being. The pagans had it right; the gods and goddesses live within us.  And they do.  The god of me, the goddess of you…..they exist just as surely as do you.  And its not about some great sacralege….for above all resides this very refined thing, its quiet and unassuming and curious and alive.  Its what we all are, and yet we have all gone our own way.  How do I explain this being?  it is without form, yet it exists within all form and has all form moving through it.  It is like a distillation of all that is as the sweetest essence.  And never have I seen a face or body but certainly have felt this great approachability.  I tell it that I very much just want to be like it.  I have spent so many lifetimes mucking it up, Id like to begin modeling it on something really quite outrageously great but also so simple.  Everything, yes, but without a bland bone in its body.  Vibrant, alive.  It loves all, serves all, reveres all and so does not take any sides.  Its on my side, your side, even thugs out on the street or the bullies who go home bruised and battered.  The love is perfect and powerful, royal and brilliant.  And it just wants love and creation.  Create create create…..and part of this is the desire which it says is a great secret which it is trying to get across to me….a little something that Buddha dealt with, but because I am so unread and unlearned of other traditions, I will have to get it written down to see if its unique thought.  The las lesson from it was that desire is actually NOT the bad thing….its actually THE thing.  The problem with desire is the karma that taints our perceptions.  I think I need to make it into a little book or something.  I think it might be a good perspective on how to reach the divine way through love and desire. 

Energy Symptoms


eause of where I am I often pick up on these mass movements of energy which are more the result of the Collective moving than anything else. We want to attribute the sun, planetary movements, but its more the result of a collective interaction going on that isat once very complex and also very simple. Taken at the right dimension, its just a twitch, but taken closer in, its an intense wave.  
And I have been feeling it. 
Nausea is not uncommon when there is a large amount of energy coming through. Most often when kundalini is getting ready to rev up, I get sick to my stomach.  The next day, it hits.  So what do I do to deal with it?
I breathe.  I breathe deep and I allow myself to move into a sense of expansiveness.  I imagine or visualize channels that are wide open.  Nothing is constricted.  I have found over the last couple of days that I am often unconsciously tight or slightly tense without realizing it. When I relax, I then find I relax even deeper, and I keep going into it until all is flow. Its surprising just how deep you can take it or how deep you can go into it.  And its very very good.  So try to breathe while holding one nostril closed for four or five breaths and then reverse and do the same for the other; if you were feeling a little uptight before, chances are you will be much more relaxed once you are done.  If you are not relaxed, you either need to get quieter in your mind or/and do another set of the alternating nostril breathing.  
For me, because of kundalini, bliss has been going off the chart.  This is tantric energy and it can get challenging to deal with it in a way that is constructive.  Again, the same operative applies;  I bring the energy upwards and feel myself doing these panting breaths that I was shown one night while in meditation. Its maybe funny, but I was shown the image of a large cat; a jaguar.  In it, the cat breathed in a panting sort of way.  I found much to my surprise that I could move vast amounts of energy this way.  Imagining the cat also helped somehow.  For me. You might be different. Being Native American before, this animal stuff comes naturally to me.  To each ones own. Its all blessed if it bears you to where you need to be.  
I find that I am visualizing a means for releasing the energy.  I feel it flowing out of my hands and into a goddess form.  In truth, the image is not very clear for me because I am in truth feeling an essence more than a form, something so broad and expansive that its seems to ripple out beyond comprehension, which is what all consciousness does.  For me, the essence does it.  I am touching the collective feminine and this takes the energy the easiest and most gracefully. I am grounding and flowing a current from the sky, which I am, into the earth, which is the feminine. For someone else, it could be any number of other images.  Perhaps seeing energy as a water stream flowing out to the sea.  
For me, this tends to increase energetic potential, and none of it is negative.  It can be challenging when the tantric flow is upped three or four fold. Imagining the energy moving strongly helps to eliminate the harder feelings and helps to clear up nausea as well as fuzzy head, inability to concentrate, etc.  
Bests to you….

Awake


So you wonder about awakening.  Some say ascension.  Its meeting the soul mirrored in the world, a place where science and magic meet, where the rational and irrational merge into a wondrous new thing everyone is trying to describe or explain.
Some say its sun spots….or solar flares.  This is beautiful and perfect, for certainly this hints at the great connection we all share and have with the world.  But this is certainly connected to larger things, but more of it is the Collective humanity shifting and moving. You will begin feeling this once you awaken.  Perhaps before.  I was not aware of it like after I awoke, I will just be honest.  Before, it was more an idea.  A great perfect kind of idea.  But an idea.  Like a photo.  Not the real thing.  And then it woke up inside of me.
Time began doing VERY weird things.  And if you observe this in others exhibiting similar symptoms, you will find some interesting correlations between people.  This is perhaps why some want to say its the sun or something….impacting us all. But imagine the Collective Consciousness of humankind going through energetic bursts.  It would effect all of us who are attuned to it.  Some to greater and lesser degrees.  And what we call awakening does not have an exact demarcation for where it begins or ends. I approached for some six months wherein I had loads of interesting symptoms before the RUSH hit me. Light effects, time slips, rushes of energy, tingling, sweeping, third eye stuff….
Then the feeling of wanting to be of some service.  It becomes a preoccupation.  Slowly, as the awakening clears and cleanses, the things that were less then perfect are refined in ways you could only imagine.  What I once thought of as my very generous nature was revealed to have a hitch….and I worked on that….and it was a big deal because it meant doing things differently and the people on my life did NOT like that.  they punished me big time.  I tell myself; their choice, their karma—-how I respond is also my own karma so I try to be careful.  And as the service thing moves along as I change I keep asking the question; to what end?  Who saves another except that we save ourselves? That is what this dynamo is quietly saying while gently supporting all life and awareness with access to its limitless potential.  Its like we have this inheretance that we forgot we even had.  And there it is. But I have to admit I ask:  to what end?  Once you give it all up, you gain it all.  In letting go, the All is yours.  
And what was a twin becomes a karmic entanglement that will push you beyond what you ever could believe was possible.  But the universe does not ask you to change your mind.  You have to do that.  And as you do, the universe changes.  What universe do you want to see?  Change your mind and you will see it.  It will become that for you, as beggars become kings. 
And always, the greatest love.  Not a love FOR anyone or anything, but a force so powerful, like a bell struck through the universe now ringing in you.  It is less a feeling FOR as it is a force that you are.  And this is a leap.  for me, it was a leap.  A hard one. It matched the whole ego collapse thing.  You almost have to in order to feel it fully.  Ego limits.  So it goes to the edges.  Hangs out in the small back kitchen and makes notes and mutters to itself.  Its very good at being at the edges.  
So sitting here, the universe flowing through, I keep asking; to what end? 

Her Love


She was loved by a force so certain
he lived between the leaves of her story
and emerged as a perfectly concrete imagining
that went beyond all reality.
She moves into that vast ocean of bliss where he moves and ducks and weaves
with her
for her
near her
around her.
Goddess
her God
spelling out sacred syllables
words that bear worlds into form

A New Economic Order

When I feel the force of life moving through me it shows me images of what can be.  My mind feels changed by it, as though at some deep level all of me is being rewired, changed, set aright.  And one of these is how "it" has pointed out that the monetary or economic system will eventually have to change if we are to survive and thrive.

The way to this is has not been made clear except that it involves a radically different way of carrying on with our lives.  if we are to be more like the force of nature, we will have to learn to share more and be more balanced.  We will have to look out for everything else and revere all life, all things.  In a way, it seems to mirror the old aboriginal cultures who lived more simply upon the land.  The concept of money did not exist like it does today. No one owned the land.  Everyone lived upon it, a sacred trust bestowed to each new generation.

What I have seen was brought to my mind by way of an inner dialog with what I call "it."  What "it" is is the presence that is now operative within me that is part me and part universe. There is no one place where one becomes the other. I no longer try to figure it out.  I just let it be.  But it suggested that the reason why our government does not want to disclose what it knows about life beyond our world is the inevitable question that would arise from the populace which would be; what is their society like?  When I heard that, I saw or felt a very different kind of world.  Its people, many thousands, even millions of years in advance of us, have long since given up trade. Their world is vastly different from ours and were people to learn how their world worked, it would spell the end of the system that is at work here on earth.  Having a society that does not rely upon money as an exchange poses some very radical questions.  Quite naturally, many do not want to see that system go away because it is based in a form of parasitic energy draw that has little to do with how nature works.

What is so interesting about this is that as I began pondering this the last week or two, as I drove home today from shopping for THINGS, I turned on the radio because this time each Sunday New Dimensions on NPR plays.  Now New Dimensions was on back when I was in high school and I used to listen to it because it was the one program that was so cool, so open and so spiritual. It remains a favorite for the people they have on that span a broad spectrum of human spiritual life.  But the man who was on, whose name I was not able to catch, was actually talking about the same thing. He asked what would happen if we applied supply and demand models to the physical body or nature.  He went on to describe just how unworkable this type of hierarchy would be for nature.  It was clear, if we applied the economics of human nature to our physical nature, we would be dead within a few hours.  The thing here is that nature does not hold back.  It seeks to grow itself, it seeks to make more of itself.  We, as humans, seek to hoard and hold onto what we see as abundance.  Those who are better at this gathering wind up with more of the resources.  But nature does not work like that, not in general.  Sure, our bodies will create fat that will keep us alive in the winter, but we take this to a ridiculous level when we put aware vast sums of energy or resources while others starve or who have little.  Nature itself is not perfect, nor does it achieve perfect balance, but it does strive for balance.  So what this guy was saying was interesting.  There is nothing about supply and demand that really has anything to do with nature.  Supply and demand, he explained, is a choice that we make.  We choose to make resources more expensive.  If we were to decide that water is precious and ought not be sold, then it would have NO price. The same is true with just about anything else.  Our need to capitalize on something overcomes our humanity and our compassion sometimes.  We look at drug companies who make thousand percent profit on a simple drug because they own the rights to it.  Now, in a rather ridiculous move, companies can now own virtually any part of all of the genomes on the planet so that they can further capitalize on them for drugs and therapies that wind up healing nothing but simply maintaining health but not making us healthier. We naturally feel outrage at this.  Some ask what is next, taxing the air?

As we evolve, some things are going to have to change and the change will come about because the old system is simply no longer suitable for the new people on the planet.  Change might come slow, it could come at an accelerated pace.  Some might plant the seeds int eh collective consciousness as they sprout and grow and change our world in a radical way.  We could have revolutions both peaceful and not to peaceful.  Who knows.....but what I do know is that this system we have will have to change.....

The Awakening

Its a subtle turning within, a feeling as though there is something more.  This something more is a great mystery, but you pursue it, looking in the out of way places because something in you tells you that something is amiss, or that you have not been told the whole story.  Eventually, through a series of events, you begin questioning what you think you know.  Is this all there is?  Is this as good as it gets?  Why am I here?  These are all pretty common questions and points to how we all have a feeling deeper down that there is indeed something more.  And there is.

Somehow, we overcome the indoctrination that was begun from the day we were born and begin casting off the cloak of belief or dogma. It could just be as simple as a feeling of discontent with how the world is.  It is here that the self is close to some deeper truth, a radiant feeling that brings the heart in the center of being as you step out from the crowd and find that things are indeed very very different. Inner knowledge floods in, first a trickle, then growing stronger.  Why do you know what you know?  What are these new notions of how the universe works?  The soul of knowing, what the Greeks called Gnosis, fills your awareness.  The old knowledge of the world is supplanted by an inner knowledge that is irrefutable. The old world view is seen more and more as something illusory, manufactured, a kind of shot in the dark, not built on how the universe really works. Out of this springs something that is like a delicious mystery, a small seed whose entire unfolding and becoming is contained in that first glimpse, that first trickle, that first awakening to a new life.  This brings you to a death and a rebirth.  Here, you know what it means to be "twice born."

This is a path that is not easy.  All of the old habits remain, but the soul seeks to slough them off. It is seeking to make you more and more naked.  The more you are able to trample your shame underfoot, the more you can accept this nakedness without fear or shame or guilt. The old ways are gone and this even older way is emerging new and fresh like a seed from the Pleistocene that has managed to survive in desert sands until the rain from your own heaven waters you and awakens you.  Your own higher self, the heavens of you, seeks to return to itself, to bring your earthly self back to itself.  It is gathering up its goods, its celestial children and heading for home.
Home is wherever you are, it whispers, so while it feels like a grand exit, there really is nowhere to go but within. the only place to go is in knowing.  With love so present, there is no harm that could befall you.  All realities unfold as you realize, there is no heaven to go to, no sacred place save for what we have made within ourselves through our awareness.  Every place has the potential for importance, necessity, all depending on what the need of the moment is.  You have freewill. You are divine and profane, shadow and light.  You now dance the dance of balance and love all and serve all.

So the journeywork that is your heart and your soul shall take you on marvelous travels.  What shall you do, and whom shall you see?  Its all up to you.  What fulfills you?  Do you even know? Maybe fulfillment is like enlightenment; it comes in stages and is informed and reformed each and every moment.  The only truth is love and from that springs worlds.  its just that potent a force.....and alas, it seems, so lacking here, and yet this is a never ending school where new recruits come in as other leave.  It seems a constant rolling enrollment of souls all seeking out this dot of blue in the depths of space and time to discover and become and seek fulfilment.  Some suggest that ultimately we must meet the mystery on our own, and this is true.  But equally true is that we also form alliances as ALL consciousness does.  Imagine what it took to organize your body intro trillions and trillions of cells, all working together for the greater good.  People come together and form groups, and groups form nations.  Nations form a world, and a world will eventually form a cosmic community.  This too is part of what we are.  Its not one or the other, it is both.  Back and forth we go, seeking that balance between self knowing and inner bliss with the fulfillment of the relationships that we forge in these lives of ours. Some of us learn from our greatest teachers, the hardest ones who often love us deeply in the flight world of soul.  But in that place, the pure pulse of love stands above this great fray of life.....the struggles and hurts, the healing and ascensions that come with such sweetness and fondness.  We learn to let go of what did not serve us to glimpse what has been waiting for us all along. And in each life we seek to do this, and every life lived is itself a jot or phrase in the soul's great speech of time. We are a day in a year, a drop amongst many, a bead strung on a cosmic necklace......

The force of awakening is this and more.  It leads us all to the inevitable realization of what we are.  We spiral upwards and outwards in a never ending growing and becoming and realizing.  This is the journey of self realization and it is a great work, a great masterpiece that the soul fashions for itself to know itself. It knows more by having you sent as an emissary here, and you know more by having been sent.  Its not one or the other, but both are enriched and refreshed with the breath of new wisdom, new life, and love renewed within.  We are all part of a great family of being.  Its much bigger that one might realize at first.  I know that when I first felt it, it said I belonged to a family of consciousness.  I wondered what that meant.  It was a dazzlingly complex story written in the moment like haiku.  And how could it have been otherwise?  I mean, how could I have even understood except by first glimpsing the seed of it. Lord knows there would be time aplenty for me to watch as its grew from a sprout to something more than I could have ever imagined.

What makes all of this worthwhile is that we are these singular beings knowing ourselves through relationship.  Its this one pursuit that we come to know and plumb the depths.  Even when alone, we are in relationship.  It is simply the way things are.  Even as the Creator released all its dreamwork upon a hitherto incompletely conceived creation, it sought to create more of itself perhaps to save it from its loneliness.  Ever since it has quietly and lovingly scanned all life all at once, ever-present in each of its children and grandchildren and great great great grandchildren.  Out of it came all that is.  And if I seem to presume why a creator might create, it is only because I read its cosmic dna writ in my bones and heart and the life force that courses through me.  At least for now, that is how the story seems to go, and I think its a rather wonderful story because of how gloriously imperfect it is.  For aren't we like that?  Don't we get closer to the truth when we cast aside this rigid notion of perfection and instead just jump into that river half naked, half ready, half human and half celestial?  Sometimes, you just have to jump in because that is what makes all the difference in the world.

.....and the water feels fine!


Conscious Energy

You are this coin with two sides.  We are so used to wanting to identify what they are that we actually lose sight of some nuances that exist that help to inform us as to what is happening or presenting itself to us in spiritual practice.

We begin very simply.  Energy is conscious.  Energy moves through you ever single moment.  When you can allow your mind to become quiet enough, the volume of this energy increases. By learning to feel, you also learn to tune into this energy that is at once you AND the universe.  When the being came to me that early early morning to do his work on me, he said that the love I felt rushing through me was me and it was the universe.  He did not seek to make a distinction between the two.  I was both.  We all are.  And this is the nuance that we sometimes miss.  In our normal individual awareness we want to put things into some neat and tidy box.  Well, the truth is, its not so tidy. Its overflowing and just does not handle staying in any one place.  Its a sheer miracle, this energy.  It can be everywhere and everywhen. Just trying to explain it causes all efforts to collapse.  But the important thing to remember is that this is more an experience.  Its not an idea that lends itself to being described very well, at least not directly.  It was meant to be experienced directly.  Until then, it is quite naturally a mystery, but it is a mystery that is within every one's grasp because it IS you.

The benefit of tuning in is that you can feel this energy.  Its movement will be a perfect barometer or indicator for you and what remains for you to heal.  It is the universe in you, and this universe simply IS a vibration of love.  Anything different from it will be quickly felt or seen or known as somehow dissonant.  In this way, you can begin to feel your Light Body in a way you have not felt before.  Somehow, the lights have been turned on, some ancient machinery is starting up and you begin to feel very differently.  This energy begins to drive awareness.  It IS aware.  It is the essence of it.  So feel.  Drop deep into yourself and it will reveal to you all that you need to know.  It will drive awareness of everything that needs tending to. You will begin to feel those long lost issues inside like people or objects whereas before, they were mysteries....like a sunken ship lying deep on the ocean floor. Awakening drives it to the surface of your awareness so it can no longer be ignored.  In this way, it shows you what need to be recognized and as you do this, as your gaze falls upon it, it falls away like so many leaves from a tree in autumn.  This is a divestment of karma, of old hurt and old issues that have probably turned in you since forever. 

From a mechanical standpoint, your Light Body carries within it all of the imprints, no matter how small, of everything you have responded to in this life. It contains also the imprint of what has remained before this lifetime.  Think of it as the baggage that gets left at birth's gateway.  When you divest yourself of this, you gain a freedom you simply have not experienced before in your entire reincarnational cycle.  The brain is a recorder, too, but more importantly, the energetic signature of all karmas are recorded in the Light Body.  Some will say chakras, but to put it more precisely, these imprints run throughout your entire body.  A small hurt from childhood, even a fall where you hurt your shoulder and suffered somehow is hidden there until it is released.  If you think of the Light Body as a continuous spectrum of frequencies that move from one end of the energetic expression of existence to another, you will begin to appreciate how interrelated your Light Body is.  Deeper issues most often lodge in the chakras since these vortices are concentrations of energy.  And energy is awareness.  When your individual awareness (the Particle) shifts into this broader awareness that I call Waveform Awareness (think Particle/Wave duality and you have its relationship inside of you).  Some call this Presence.  It is the infinite in you. 

When you can bring this Waveform or Presence into your awareness you will begin to feel those things in you that do not harmonize with the symphony of your cosmic self.  Since this self is more than just your individuality, it has a lot to offer you in terms of healing. The miracle is that you do not need to do anything except to be an available participant and open yourself to love as much as you can.  Bit by bit, this Wave ripples through you and irons out all the wrinkles.  The more you can settle into this awareness, the less you need to question, control, or effect.  It acts upon you.  It builds a life within you.  It works through every nook and cranny. When I first felt this Presence of kundalini, I asked it what it was doing.  I was shown the image of a warehouse.  It was full of things.  It was going through each and every one of these things.....which were all of the past hurts, troubles, slights, or other reactions that simply were stored away because they could not be properly dealt with.  they were shoved down into the subconscious, the great dumping ground for the difficult things in our lives.  As you awaken, so too does your awareness of these hidden things.  Your own Light Body will begin to feel very differently.  Suddenly you will feel pressure building in one part of your Light Body, and as your awareness is drawn to it, the energy of the infinite is allowed to do its work in a more concentrated way.  Try it.  Try not seeking to solve a problem in you, a pressure or tension.  Just ask what you need to do to let it go and then let go of any need to find the answer.  If you wait patiently, the answer will come to you.  You see, its in not trying that you open up to the possibility that this other part of you has the ability to work miracles, ones that you might not have been able to achieve while in your old mode of awareness.  Like a cosmic parent, you enter into a new relationship with this new Presence, this awakened Light Body.  It not here to punish you, but to point out what needs work.  In fact, the more you resist it, the more painful and difficult the process becomes.  The process is made to be simple, not complicated.  The path to the infinite is not rocket science. It is woven out of love and unbending compassion.  I say this because it will not make deals with you.  If you resist while not realizing you are actually doing this, you will experience some form of discomfort.  Ask yourself what you are doing to bring this on. Surrender.  Let go. You do not need to know the answers in order to be more whole.  You merely have to Be it. Simple.

So keep going back into that Awareness.  Tell it you are wanting to be more like it.  In telling it, you are also sending a message to yourself. The old programming is slowly being erased, and this is a very good thing.  The more you do this, the farther you get from the pain and discomfort that some call painbody, which is merely the ego's identification with a past hurt.  To move beyond it, you merely place your awareness in the present.  Buddha had something to say about this, for he knew that the point of power is NOW.  Ram Dass and later Eckhart Tolle would echo this simple truth.  And it is true.  The only thing you can affect is what is right in front of you. Anything else will simply draw your energy away from what is happening in the point of power that is now. By staying in the present you also begin to eliminate the need to worry. Worry about the past or future, neither of which can be changed distantly.  You can only affect them in the present.  The Past is healed by bringing those lost parts of yourself that may have been splintered in your psyche into a unity.  The future, conversely, is a big question mark.  Paradoxically you cannot know it unless you do what is needed in the present to affect it there. 

All of this feels like some force driving ancient splinters up out from the core. They get driven to the surface so they can be released. As you do this, your own Light Body becomes more light, more full of joy.  You are less of the pain and more of the bliss.  This is transformational as you bring the light of love into yourself.  Something begins telling you that before you love others, you must learn to know the indwelling love that is unlike any other love.  To know the universe, you must come to know the universe within you, for it touches upon all other universes. It is here that all fractures are healed and the self is brought to a place of unity.  Over and over, this process continues as the self refines and learns to model itself off that of its divine parent, the higher self. Every hurt or pain has served to divide you from this source of life.  The more you do this "work" the more whole you feel, the more present and obvious the infinite will become within.  Sometimes it seems like you are at a loss....but this is only a seeming.  You forget that you are infinite.  Not knowing how you will reach into this awareness, be willing to be led by it. As you do this, awareness builds with each divestment, each healing.  You might have a slip of a memory flit through you as this happens, or you might have no memory at all, just a feeling as though you are somehow reclaiming some ancient sense of self. Timeless, boundless. 

So quieting the mind is the first step.  The stillness that is possible will allow you to feel more deeply into yourself. As you build a greater capacity for this stillness, the greater the energy of awakening will build in you.  Letting go of old material also helps. It clears your awareness.  So its important to learn how to forgive others if you can.  And if you cannot, ask to be shown how.  You are infinite, and as you seek, so shall you find. You may think that moving a mountain is outside the question, and this is true, but your higher self does know how to move them. You just have to be open to that happening.  Just step back and form the wish in your mind. By silencing the chatter of the mind and stilling it will begin to allow something to build in you, an energetic capacity for something more will resolve.  This capacity is also awareness just as it is energy.  Just feeling its presence even for a few moments is very significant because it leads to increasing amounts of time where you can quiet the mind to provide space for this something more. 

In another post I will be going into some meditation methods that might work well for you.  I never used meditation in any traditional way, but the stillness was something that I recognize as a precursor to  awakening.  Once the fire is lit in you, then your life becomes as if it is on fire for this great love. 


La Voce

Countless lives, countless voices. 
Smothered in the static
hidden in the noise
of countless others
whose message was not my own.

I look to the sky
deep inside
a deep blue and gold resonance rises
their voice could never be mine
I forgot what was essential
drowning in the noise
of countless others
pretending they could ever match my own.

Letting go
I lost it all
in some open sky world
endless
unbounded
the self loses itself
but does not find its center
in a world full of centers
and points
beyond imagining.

Everyone jockying for a place
a position
something to call their own.
I was lost in this
one slipping past the other
as self and selflesness
resolving into otherworlds.

Everything they ever taught
bent through the distortions
of what they thought was real.
Whose to say what is and is not
its as real as any other.
For myself
I bring them together
darkness and the light
to find what no other might
which is a distant thunder
building in certainty.

So many lives
so many times
la voce è perduta.
I make my way here
once more
finding it
like lost leaves of some book
the few words it offers
change everything.
We stand for something
in order to become.
We move forward
as this great mystery
emerges like a diamond
from the deep blue sea...


Ho trovato la mia voce.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

The Essence of Forgiveness

When we are confronted with the brutality of the world, with an unjust act made upon another, we often act with outrage, anger, and will often want to visit the same or worse injustice upon the person who has done such a horrible deed.

And its sometimes, often, a knee jerk reaction.  I know that I do it, have done it, in the past.  I still do.  And yet, concurrent with this is also something that has been with me since I was young, which is a very different reaction or impulse....which is that for as long as we simply react with an eye for an eye, we never really ever get to the root of the problem that caused such terrible things to take place to begin with.

Today while coming across the story of the Goddess, I also was confronted with a terrible image of pure brutality of a child that had been beaten and raped by her father.  The sheer rawness of this image was used as a way to drive home the point of something happening with one rather misled politician who has suggested that a woman's body has the power to fight of getting pregnant.  I know little more than this because, quite simply, I do not watch the news or most of popular information out there.  But it does filter in from time to time and I am aware of this flap that has occurred.  The point here is that instead of feeling outrage as I have in the past, I only felt very very sad.  I felt sad for the girl that this happened to.  But I also felt sad for the man who did this to her.  In our anger and sheer rage, we lose sight of the deeper issue that is true that will not get addressed as long as we seek an eye for an eye.

We have to get to the core of suffering and pain.

Now I know, its very hard to have compassion for a human being that so willfully seeks to do harm.  But what I know without any equivocation is that this man suffers from something that is not native to his soul.  I KNOW what the soul is made of and I KNOW the soul is love.  I have always believed that people were good underneath all of this bad.  But absent any good answers, we are left with just wanting to raise pitch forks into the air and join a lynch mob.  Our own hurt and suffering drives us to strike back.  But what we do in that moment is to record upon the heart of the world one more heinous act regardless of the reason for why we feel we are justified in doing so. Even if it is bad, or even evil. It still does not change what we ourselves have written upon the breast of the earth and which has now been burned into our souls.

No one in their soul self would do such a terrible thing.  They wouldn't. So the answer is in becoming aware of that soul self so the love can shine to heal all our cracked, fractured, and even broken parts.  We need a force that can such out the poison that has leached into our bones and that has turned us from divine into destitute and wounded amnesic angels.  I ask you, which is better: to strike back at a person who had done harm so that it no longer lives in our world or seek to heal that soul so that no more hurt like that person?  The answer inevitably is that we have tried to rehabilitate people and it just does not work. Just now I realized that my grandfather actually believed, I think, similarly.  He was called upon to help fashion the parole system in the state of Virginia. As a result of this work he did, he was given the job of supervising a series of boys homes that were being created in order to address the problem of minors who were considered delinquents who had gotten into repeated trouble but who could not, because of the law, be tried as adults. My grandfather had the power to say what he wanted to see in terms of how these schools or homes were set up.  He said he wanted each school to have land that could be farmed.  He wanted these boys to farm the land and learn where the food came from. He wanted to give them a very structured life because he knew they had gone wrong through a lack of structure.  He also wanted to have a system in place that provided a positive feedback for behaving, thus certain privileges were provided and boys would receive promotions within the system. What resulted was the lowest rate of recidivism of any correctional facility in the state.  While it did not have a perfect record, it did show that there are ways to retrieve the souls of our youth and help them become the people that wont wind up in trouble again.

The problem that we have is that we say once a child has gotten to a certain age, 18, that its nobodies responsibility to try and raise them. Some people want this to fall upon some agency.  Most often, though, people just get housed because the resources required are seen as taking away from other more important needs like education, roads, or health care.  Besides, why would we spend any more than we have to on a lot of people who are the worst of the worst?  The answer is that until we do, the cancer of this will continue to spread.  Fathers will beat their children senseless because they were likewise beaten senseless and thus have no check on their anger.  I grew up in a family where I lived in fear of an angry stepfather, and I know the rage and hurt that can live inside when these kinds of things happen, but long after that person is gone the hurt festers and remains. So who is hurting whom in such a situation?  We do.  We hold onto that hurt, that sense of justification in something that belongs to the past.  I ask; what good does this serve?  What good is served in erecting an altar to such pain and misery?  And what does it solve?  We tell ourselves that in memorializing the hurt, we remind ourselves never to have such hurt in the world.  And yet, it never works this way. This is a false belief in how we think things will go.  Instead, we keep the echo active and it bounces inside of us until we excise it from our hearts and souls. We do not cut it out, we do not even beat it out of ourselves.  We do not do push ups or run marathons or become president to prove how much better we are.  We merely use the rage to fuel other activities that never get us beyond the rage burning inside.  We can use the rage to bring awareness, but at some point the rage has to stop and the real work begins.  And this has only ever happened in my experience when we do one simple thing; we forgive.  We let it go. This is nothing short of miracle work because it means that we let that person off the hook.  We let them off the hook because as long as they are on the hook, so are we. Its true.  It will always be like this.  Always.  So you get to the end of your rope with the rage and hurt and then what is left?  There is nowhere to go.  You have to let that rope slip from your fingers and you let yourself forget about it.  Completely.

When this happens, a most amazing thing takes place.  You feel utter relief.  In that moment you suddenly see things differently.  its like you have been holding something inside for so long that you forgot how badly it hurt. You feel so much better as a result.  In this place, all of the old concerns and positions simply fade away as this thing in you becomes a distant memory.  And this happens very fast.  You pull a stick out of the mud and the water rushes in around it and in a few moments, it is as if it had never even been there.

But how do we address the suffering of others?  Again, this is tricky because as long as we are on a crusade, we aren't really interested in reforming others.  Reforming others is more a moment of inspiration.  It is in fact, a gift from the Goddess that resides in each of us.  She calls to each of us to listen if we will but allow ourselves. She takes us into her heart and it is her presence that will suck out all the poison in our lives.  Just her mere presence will do this. But to feel it, you have to reach a place where you are ready.  Its not even an idea or an imagining.  It is very real and powerful.  We don't know how real it can be because we have quite simply banished her from our lives.  But she is returning, and she returns not on some cloud from heaven but within each of us, from the inside out.  What she brings is grace and in that grace there is forgiveness.  What you will discover in that moment when you are inspired by her great and nurturing presence is not that you need to forgive someone else, but that you needed to forgive yourself. Here, in this place, comes the recognition, the absolutely undeniable reality that everything that has ever happened, we have had a hand in.  But we cannot and will not know or feel or see it for ourselves until we reach that place where we can feel HER.  Her grace.  Her nurturing and forgiving presence.  IN her arms, we relax and utterly let go.  And that is what she is about; letting go.  She alone is capable of embracing the mystery.  It isn't our masculine that does this.  Its true.  He is something very different, and yet each of these two forces were designed to be one.  To work together.  He can illuminate, but she can allow you to be comfortable with not knowing.  Sometimes knowing only keeps the awareness active of what has been before. Let her drop down around you like a vast landscape full of stars and a slip of moon rising.  She will quietly pull all the pain and poison from you as you slump into her arms, utterly incapable of knowing how to hold onto that old rope.  Her presence will soften your grip as you fall....

We only will help others when we can inspire them to do the work necessary, I am afraid.  We cannot simply right a wrong at the end of some pitchfork.  We may continue doing it, but this does not mean that the condition of the world gets any better.  At some point, we have to bring love into the equation because it was because of a lack of love all the way around that things have gotten the way they have. There is always a reason for why people do bad things, and it will always go straight back to love.  A robber robs because he or she does not feel like they have enough nor do they feel like they have the means to get it on their own.  Otherwise, they would. Somehow, they feel like they have to make a shortcut.  Some steal out of desperation because they have not good answers to a very bad situation.  It is a lack of love that will blind someone selling methamphetamine about the consequences of such an activity, for love will most certainly open you to the ramifications of such things.  Acting out of our own unresolved rage, we hurt others never stopping to think what the result of acting on that rage will have on them. There is a better way; let the rage out but don't let the rage out on others.  It does not belong to others, it belongs to you. let your anger and hurt out of you.  Yell into the darkness, take a hammer and beat an old wooden stump to powder.  Allow the echo of that hurt, all that nervous energy out of you. It is widely known now that such actions does have a result on our neurophysiology and can allow us to lessen and release those old blocks.  And if it does not seem to help, keep on doing it. Do it each day if you have to.  Pray before that old dead stump and explain that you are seeking to let all this junk ooze down into the earth where the grace of our Mother can transmute it for us. She can.  And she will.  But you have to be focused on wanting it gone.

I am not going to pretend that the world's problems will go away tomorrow if you do this.  This is not going to be something that is healed in a twinkling. it will be healed person to person.  But as each person does heal, it inspires others bit by bit.  It changes the signal in the matrix of our collective human soul on the planet. And when the time comes, we will also learn how to cleanse the earth and rid ourselves of this old energy once and for all.  But until then, the change must happen with you.  Then, as each person does this, the energy changes.  its a big hill we have to climb, but just as Martin Luther King Jr. spoke of the hill his people had to climb to reach the promised land, his efforts did not go wanting. Things DID change, and it changed because people took it upon themselves to do so. Person by person. Person by person they locked arms as they took that now-famous walk from Selma to Montgomery Alabama.

We have a long walk, but each journey begins with the first step.  We don't even need know the way, but trust that we will get there.  What we need is someone who can inspire us, someone who has already seen the Promised Land. I know what that land looks like.  I know its touch, its taste, and feel. Its the only place we need go or know in order to heal the wounds of the world.  It is not a specific answer, but a broad pronouncement that there is nothing that hurts you that cannot be healed. If you come to HER you will be healed.  Just get to the end of your rope and cry out for HER.  That is about all you need to do.  The world will conspire with you to get you to the end of your rope and it will also conspire to see to it that you also succeed in letting go.  

The Goddess Lives

 A most remarkable and amazing thing is taking place in the United States.  In Minnesota a group is paying to design and put up billboards that celebrate the Goddess.  These billboards are also meant to raise awareness about the importance of religious tolerance, that freedom of religion means ALL religion.  I applaud their efforts, and I am thrilled to see that someone has taken the bull by the horns and taken on such an effort like this!

What I find so wonderful is the message that the Goddess is within us all.  One of the difficulties that some people have been having is this long-standing notion or effort to somehow objectify the deity....which quite naturally puts it outside of our awareness.  This is a tricky perceptual trick that redirects our awareness outward to a certain extent, enough to keep one wondering where is God....and where is Goddess?  For those who have experienced the great mystery of the divine, nearly all speak in terms of this awareness occurring from within. There is a tradition of seeing signs in the world, true, and this is something that I have written about here and which is explained in greater depth in the book I am nearly finished writing whose working title is Waking The Infinite. Understanding how these signs come about leads to understanding the nature of the divine in the day to day world and also about how we each work at an energetic level as co-creators of our existence.  I put it quite clearly that if we can understand this linkage that we have in our lives both with the divine and our creative capacities, we are faced with the very tools that will lead to a more potent and meaningful and less mysterious process of self transformation and healing.

But enough of my yammering!  How about those billboards!  Here is a picture of one of them for you to see, and I encourage you to click on the link below to learn more about this fascinating story!





The billboard images and more about this story can be found by going HERE.  (link opens in a separate window)

Blessed Be.....


Update 9/26/2012:  I am so pleased to find as many views of this post as there are.  It warms me body and soul!  Please pass on these links to your friends, it really can help make a difference. Shifting sands and butterfly wings....


Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The Fiery Ones

Not long ago I was reading in a gnostic text how Jesus was talking to his followers about how Moses "raised the serpent" in the desert.  I thought this was curious and decided to check it out. 

It turns out that despite all of the demonizing of the serpent in the Judaic-Christian traditions, there is also what appear to be remnants of the old knowledge base where serpents represented spiritual power and illumination.  Moses was commanded (voice in his head) to create a seraph that he was to set up where all could see.  This seraph was a fiery serpent that was to be made of a metal that looked like the sun.  This serpent or seraph was to twine itself around a central post and those who gazed upon it could be healed, the account goes, from snake bites.  This takes place in the Old Testament Numbers 21:4-9

This led to looking into the etymology of seraph.  The Seraphim were those angels who had direct communication with God.  These Seraphim were said to surround the deity with their wings and that these Seraphim also had six wings in one account. The Serpahim were "fiery ones" and it is this phrase that serves to begin to knit the serpents and the angels together.  

Some have sought to make a connection between this serpent and Jesus many years later, explaining that God commanded Moses to raise the serpent as a way for people to atone for their sin.  In this case, God sent fiery serpents to the people to bite them because of how much they were complaining about being out in the desert. I find the fiery serpent mention interesting and I wonder if this was not instead a reference to kundalini awakenings....that in fact god was sending awakenings to the people so that they were "bitten" by the power of the seraph or the fiery ones.  Could this story be one that is more metaphorical than literal?  It seems a little silly to me that God would send snakes to bite people because they were complaining, you know?  It seems more fair to consider that if you were undergoing an awakening that gazing upon an image of the snake rising could help you to visualize the serpent fire rising in your own being, which would help to alleviate suffering that is common in kundalini awakenings.  In the Hindu tradition the process is not complete until the serpents are allowed to rise into the crown. Until then, the energy channels are still being cleansed, and if the individual resists this climb they are also resisting the cleansing of what the Hindu call the nadi (pronounced "nardi") which are energy channels that carry emotional knots, energy knots that resist the full flow of the divine force.  Having an image in the mind of something flowing upwards could serve as an important way to help ease the pain from the "bite" of the awakening. it may also be that Moses himself had awakened kundalini.  When there is one who is awakened, that person can often help others to awaken in a similar fashion.  Clearly this was happening with Jesus when you look at the hidden gospels of Philip, Thomas, Mary, and others which were discovered in the desert of Nag Hammadi in 1945. 

What is described in Numbers is how a serpent cast out of brass or bronze was shown to be moving up a central post.  This image is the same image as the Rod of Asclepius who was the Greek God of healing. it is also very similar to the Caduceus which is a representation of kundalini.  I do wonder, though, if the Rod of Asclepius isn't the same as the serpent that Moses raised in the desert, and if both Caduceus and the Rod of Asclepius aren't versions of the same idea.  That these are tied to healing are not far off the mark as kundalini is itself a very healing energy, a kind of universal righter of wrongs that get expressed as disease in the body.  Physician, heal thyself!

If connected, all of this places serpents much more closely at the doorstep of the Judeo-Christian tradition than some may have realized and may also help to pull back the curtain on a collective belief that the serpent was a universal symbol for transcendent spiritual power and presence.  The seraphim, the fiery ones the fiery serpents.....it all merges back into an older root.

To read more about the serpent connection, read the very popular post on Quetzalcoatl on this blog HERE.  

Denial of Ego


In spiritual work its a common theme for aspirants to seek to weed out the ego. This is only partly right.  On the one hand we have enshrined ego within the self in such a way that it crowds out the higher self and its expression and the great benefits that it can bring within awareness, while on the other hand, seeking to destroy ego is against nature.  In truth, ego can never be destroyed. It was put here in order to serve the grand experiment in individuality.  Your individuality is not some demon to be destroyed or banished, but a channel through which the divine consciousness may flow. 
What happens in all awakenings or moments of supreme transcendence is the self collapses within itself, or feels as though it does.  This is a seeming brought on by an over-emphasis upon ego.  Its a necessary condition that is a result of this particular arrangement of the self.  Without ego propping everything else up within you, its absence winds up feeling like a collapsing of all you know that you are. In truth, moving the ego out of its central role is merely a powerful shift of a kind you are not used to feeling, so it winds up feeling devastating.  But its necessary. What emerges out of this new arrangement is that the ego is now more peripheral.  It is not gone or dead as some have suggested.  It remains.  However, in this new position ego cannot become the central deity within the self since this was never what ego was meant to be or can be.  
Ego identifies phenomenon that is like itself, which is to say it identifies other particles of being.  It sees, for example, a house as a distinct element in an integrated landscape of entirely connected elements. It sees the atom, the molecule, the fish, the star, or idea. Ego, however, does not have the power to know how to see how all things are connected.  It merely identifies, and it does a very good job of doing this. Without it, everything would be part of an undifferentiated tapestry with no distinct detail. You would feel all the suffering of the world as your own, and when your neighbor stubs her toe, you will feel it as your own.  Your own nervous system would be entirely overloaded with sensory data.  Ego serves as an important filter to keep this overload from taking place. Even in the midst of “feeling it all” in the moment of transcendence, there is still a filtering happening even though to you it feels as though you are getting way more material than you ever did before. Without ego, you could wind up hearing every thought on the planet, or how every molecule shifts within the cell of an antelope.  
Being able to feel in this way is an important means to relating to the world, but without ego, you would get lost in a world of objects.  The purpose to all of this is to learn how to use consciousness in a balanced way so that you feel the boundlessness of all creation while also seeing the individual effects as being a part of this infinite realm that is your corner of the universe. This, then, is the true challenge to all who awaken. Nothing is a problem, for everything has its place and purpose.  There was no mistake in the divine plan no matter how much fault you see or feel with the world. When you cease seeing fault, you begin to glimpse the perfection.  Some will say that as they heal and awaken they still see the world as imperfect.  This is true, but what is also true is that the world also begins to change as you change. The healing of the world is a massive undertaking and it is why one person alone will not achieve such healing.  This is why as each person mirrors the healing within, it has an effect on the whole. Individually and together, the world changes.  Already the change is underway, and this movement is building steam with each person who awakens.  This is the single most productive thing to have emerged in decades, perhaps even centuries! 
You will save yourself much time and angst by neither worshipping ego nor seeking to destroy it.  If you can learn balance in all parts of your life, you will keep from the extremism that keeps you from seeing the nuanced presence of the divine in all life.  Life exists within the balance.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Marks of Awakening

Krishnamurti had them.  I have had a few people already contact me about them.  Marks.  But marks that did not come from a known outside agency or source.  Body marks.  My marks happened in the months immediately preceding my awakening.  I was already having awakening symptoms, but it was not what I'd call full-on energy flowing through me like a river of bliss kind of experience. But it was soon coming.

The thing about the first mark is that had it been a burn, I would have soooo known it.  My pants would have been burned to the point of not being usable, and the pain would have been pretty intense for a burn of that type.  Except that there WAS no pain. No discomfort at all.  And being a glassblower, I know burns like Eskimos know snow.  So this burn would have HURT for DAYS before slowly trailing off to a mark that would have stayed for about two to three months, possibly longer.  I simply woke up one morning and it was there.  Nothing in the bed with me that could be somehow connected to the mark.  It also faded within three days of my seeing it. No mark, no scab, nothing.



So the first mark. The other things about it was how my underwear had what appeared to be dried blood which I had NOT had on them the night before.  Or ever.  And if I did, where did I cut myself like that on my right hip?  None of it made sense.



The second mark is the mark I have ongoing that came about last year from a significant release of some old karma connected to the heart.  It continues being a mark that wont go away which is different from the first.



Just putting it here for anyone who might have had similar things.  Similar stigmata like effects can happen quite easily.  A burn can be manifested through hypnosis.  The body responds to psychological effects quite easily.  Stigmata.  Stigmata is a Greek word that means "brand."  Interesting, too, because the crescent burn very much seemed this way to me.  Marked.  Saint Francis was one of the first people in the Christian tradition to have manifested marks on his body.  These were the marks that Jesus was said to have endured during his passion.  In the case of Francis, his marks came by way of a being called a seraph or seraphim.  The history on the seraphim is very interesting for how it is connected to serpents and dragons.  Even in the old testament, Moses is said to have created an image of a seraph which was a fiery serpent made of cast brass.  This form is not very different from the caducius, the symbol of kundalini which is most commonly known for being a symbol for the medical profession.  The seraphim, while being described as angels, they are just as much tied into serpent imagery, and represents one connection to the older tradition of spiritual beings being connected to the serpent.  The problem in Christianity is how the serpent has been demonized.  Sadly, this has created one giant blind side for a body of spiritual experience that has nothing to do with deception or evil.  And yet, through fear, people remain caught up in the association that the belief in the serpent as evil.  The seraphs in Christianity were said to communicate directly with the Creator.  This is interesting for how in one experience I have had with a being who came to me who said he was a seraphim said that he was going to show something he had pulled out of me to the Creator which he called "Source."  I do not know what the purpose or importance of this, but the relationship that this being had with the Creator or Source, has a consistency with early Judaic and Christian thinking even though I was not aware of this linkage at the time that these things took place.

Based on the popularity of the post on Quetzalcoatl,  there is a great interest in the image of the feathered serpent, a form of the serpent that is not connected to deception but is instead a kind of emerging standard for understanding spirituality.  This is how all new ideas emerge.  We leave the old associations behind as we build new ones, even if it means creating hybrids.  All spiritual experience is inherently creative.  It is what we make it, what we invest it with.  It then builds and grows and develops its own kind of reality. But be careful of the gods you choose, for they will be naturally self reinforcing. Stigmata, then, also exists outside of Christianity.  This is very much a human experience and as a result can emerge in a variety of ways, including crescent moons or circular rings at the heart center.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Light Body

The Light Body.

We all have one.  And its presence for many is a bit of a mystery.  You can't see it.  You can't taste it (although we are taking bets what that would be like), you can smell or hear it.....and yet......it is there. Hidden for most yet providing them with their awareness as a sentient being, their very existence.

And you have one.  For most, it is largely in slumber.  You can feel its effects, though, but the brilliance of the light body will utterly startle you were it to be turned up to its highest volume.  So, awakening the light body happens in steps.  Its gradual.  Its illuminating can happen over years, in truth.  Lifetimes.  I am not here to give you a bunch of new age lingo, but to keep it to the point.

The Light Body isn't physical.  It is energy, pure and simple.  So as a result, it has no mass.  This means it can be anywhere and anywhen.  Truly.  No mass means you CAN move through time.  I have done this many times through my lifetime.  The only problem with these kinds of excursions is being able to figure out what the date is, or that its actually a time shift.  If you go a month into the future, the experience does not present itself as anything other than a very ordinary day out.  If you were to go hundreds of years into the future, you MIGHT notice a difference.  If you go a thousand years into the future, consider its possible that humankind has seen technology as a dead end and have learned to live without it, in which case you might feel like you are dreaming or experiencing the past.  Its just hard to know for sure without picking up a newspaper.  So, you see, these things are not so simple, and are not always obvious. And in not knowing, you only are able to identify it AS IT HAPPENS, which is to say you may not recall the dream of last week or month as being precognitive until the event happens in physical life to you later. I never knew I was having a precognitive dream.  There was always the inevitability of being surprised that THAT dream was the one that was foretelling events.    My travel has been both backwards and forwards.  The forwards portion has always been difficult to identify. Some events that I have seen were entirely unanticipated, and I did not have enough context to be able to determine where I was.  All of my time excursions have taken place in the dream state.  And still, there is enough awareness to know that something was taking place.  Just not WHEN.  Anyway.  You get the idea, right?

We are now learning of theories that are saying that all matter is actually made up of energy that is already moving at the speed of light. When you turn on the light switch, for example, the electrons move at light speed.  So does light.  But matter, being a form of energy, also does this. But wait, you say, how can that be?  The way the theory goes, a particle is merely an entrained wave of energy.  In truth, according to this interesting theory is that all of matter is made up of waves that have been entrained so they wind up seeming permanent or physical.  What does that mean?

Think of a light wave forced to run in circles.  It SEEMS to slow down when in truth it is actually traveling at the speed of light RIGHT HERE.  So think of a dog on a chain. They run so fast....and in the process they make a blur that builds the appearance of solidity. Does that help? So the point here is everything is energy.  When the light body wakes up, when your awareness knows its true source or nature, this opens channels in the light body.  It lights up.  It becomes "activated."  Your inner sensing becomes much more acute.  This is a process.  Its like taking back your hearing after lifetimes of being deaf.  You are healing. And this is good.  You begin to feel more and more through the light body, your cosmic vehicle based on how much dross or junk you are able to remove.  Don't feel bad when you encounter it; we are all here because we have it.  Its not a sentence or a punishment.  Whether you are on earth or any other place, the law is that your life will naturally reflect what is inside of you.  Step back and observe your life.  What you wish you did not have in it can be changed by changing what it inside of you.  Its the ultimate freedom. You do not change events first, you change yourself which is involved in creating those events.  As you do this, you also feel more and more of the whirling light energy within you.  Its a glorious feeling.....and it HAS to be. Who ever heard of getting to paradise when its full of hurt or suffering?  Its the suffering part that is your karma.  There is no honor in hurt or pain even though many would like to say so.  Its the sheer volume of it that makes us want to somehow assign it some importance.  Its importance is in teaching you to no longer cleave to it.  Its your exit strategy if you let it guide you.  Your light body as it wakes up will tell yo pleasure from pain.  You will simply feel it more and more.  The trick is in learning to discern between pleasure and pain.  We get used to mixing these and call it pleasure or bliss.  Slowly, as we keep seeking, we refine and continue to feel those high peaks of bliss free from the weight of the old.  The bliss of an enlightened person may seem absolutely wonderful to the average person, and yet the enlightened person may feel strains of karma within the bliss that point her or him to their continual refining.  Its a relative thing.  Seek always....and the bliss keeps you pointed in the right direction.

The lighting up of the light body is one that moves in thresholds.  These thresholds are in fact the result of our own resistance to awareness.  When the energy "pierces" the light veil or the light body chakras, we feel the energy flood into us.  As this happens, each energy vortex that we call chakra mirrors a given frequency on a very broad range of energetic spectrum. We pick up a given range the same way our eyes pick up a given range or wavelength of energy which we call visible light.  So each vortex called a chakra is aligned or vibrates in sympathy with a given range of energy.  these get translated into certain attributes of consciousness such as emotions, for example, or certain aspects of human experience.  the heart would deal with ones own inner truth, divine love, compassion, forgiveness, for example. The vortex called the third eye would have to do with perception. So each chakra will let go and allow the flow of conscious energy to move through it in a more aware way.  Since the energy of the universe is both yin and yang, you will feel both moving up through you.  Last week I realized we actually have either two chakras or a chakra that has the yin energy balanced on one end while the other is on the other end of the chakra.  These are NOT separate, however.  They are part of each other the same way that the north and south pole on a magnet are opposite forces yet are all part of the same magnet.

As this process unfolds, it clears the chakras of material that represents old trauma and hurt from your past.  All of this is material that you have holding onto.  Some of it may be material you no longer even identify or remember. it could have been some slight or hurt from childhood.  You in actuality do not forget any of it, but you do filter it out of your main awareness of memory. Your memory, as you will find will be perfect, once the filters fall away. Your own light body will identify these knots or problems and these can be worked through a variety of ways. One way is with the help of an experienced deep tissue massage therapist  Rolfing was one of the early deep tissue methods which in truth, was a bit on the hard side, but points to how this type of work can sometimes aid in releasing pent up material that gets caught in the matrix, the weaving together of the physical and nonphysical bodies.

What is so important about the Light Body is that its your infinite vehicle.  It IS you when you leave the body.  So getting to know it can help you in the next stage.  Or, if you are really with it, you begin activating the Light Body now and it speeds up your process of lifetimes.  You glide into love and compassion faster.  You find the fulfillment of lifetimes.  Now. You discover the wonder and beauty that is your soul.  IN being active, you can see the beauty that is everyone else beneath the thin veneer of bullshit that has been spread across most of everything in this world. The bullshit is what does not serve us, that are our old hurts.  After a time, you just grow tired of having this material hanging on to you.  Feeling its presence in a whole new way once the light body is active, you often can feel very impatient to get on with the work of enlightening your being.  Heaven on earth.

If you would like to know more about this process, simply read more in this blog.  Search the archives. If you search under such labels as "awakening," "kundalini" "chakras," "energy," and similar tags, you will find articles on this subject in considerable profusion here.