Sunday, December 15, 2013

Where Awakening Leads

Having lived with this for almost seven years now, the journey has brought me over and over to the irrefutable realization that kundalini aids in releasing blocked and built up latent issues within the energy body and within the subconscious self.  Realization is itself a clarifying process much like a small creek running into a pond helps to clear the pond of the muck at the bottom when the flow of its current increases.  This is what awakening does.  It churns us.  The current is quite simply turned up, and it has an effect.  Living with this intelligent energy has changed my life and the way I see the world.  It has altered how I see us as human beings, just as it has changed how I view myself.  What I knew intellectually before, I now know and feel at a much more fundamental level.  I do not live in a world of ideas but in a life that is vibrant with concepts that themselves touch and connect vast realities that sometimes live at the edge of our awareness.  And since this energy is itself a builder of awareness, there is much that comes to the fore that had been more at our edges. 

Along with this idea that kundalini charges us and churns us and moves sunconscious material to the surface of awareness has come a more recent realization which is that the part of us that is called the subconscious is itself merely the rest of our awareness liying in a latent form, unused during our waking hours.  I am convinced of it.  And I will tell you why. 

Part of my process of realization was how awakening was tied to right brain function.  I am not going to say awakening IS right brain function, because for how much this might seem, its only a seeming based on our being largely left-brained dominant as a species.  We just are.  We are highly rational beings who think in a very linear way.  our right brained functions have been largely ignored.  You might think this is a bold statement to make, but my sense years ago that this was so (in my bones) has been born out through ma ny new studies of the brain and how certain injuries to the left brain have opened up the cpacity and potential latent in the right brain.  For example, we now know that the left brain acts as a kind of filter, keeping the vast capacity of the right brain from entering in in any deeper way.  Sure, we have right brain fucntion, yes, but we do not realize that the right brain has much much more that can be tapped.  You see, the left brain is itself a linear processor, which means it does things one item at a time and it works with language, which is itself a reductive process related to how we communicate.  It is by its nature a limited way to communicate, and it does so in a very practical way.  IN order to get words to really do the work of communicating, we have to add inflection and a host of other things in order to get our ideas across.  A picture, though, is qorth a thousand words, and so in knowing this, you can appreciate how limited language is in its own way.  But in case after case where people have had injuries to their left brains, there is a sudden release of amazing potentials and abilities.  Some people have developed savant-like ability to calculate numbers, to see and then recreate through drawings an amazing level of detail of, say, a city skyline.  THis is all brought to you by way of the right brain.  Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, whose video I have posted a number of times, who is known for her TED talk about how she had a stroke in her left hemisphere that closed down her left breain function for a time, began to experience a mystical moment of enlightenment.  All courtesy of the "veil" coming down.  That veil, friends, is the left brain. 

When we talk about surrendering and feeling bliss, we do so because we are letting down the controlling agent that is the left brain.  I sense deeply that a very limited aspect of the ego is contained or is at least powerfully informed by our left brains.  And this makes a lot of sense when you know what the left brain does.  It identifies with individual elements, aspect, and then is able to create a cognitive ordering that makes sense to us.  Ego is right in line with these qualities as ego identifies with "me" and "thee" which is to say that it can see individual objects as separate.  Ego is separate.  Withing the vast space of the right brain awareness, there is also a sense of ego, but one that is quite different.  It is far more nuanced.  It still exists, but it is an ego that is in context with still larger things such as the higher self. 

The right brain function is also not rational in the way that the right brain is rational.  It is connected more to feeling, and thus in feeling, there is no rationality.  We feel how we feel, and it does not always have to make sense.  In fact, the harder things for us are those things that seem beyond our own rational senses.  When it comes to these feelings, we tend to shove them down into the subconscious where we think we don't have to deal with them.  They do not go away but instead age and become an engine for dysfunctional feelings and behavior.  Repressed behavior has been long recognized as having been the agent for many problematic emotions in our lives. The subconscious, which is where we shove most of this material down into has become a vast dumping ground where a LOT of material gets left.  Upon awakening, at least for me, the power of kundalini began to churn this graveyard within and began the process of releasing these old ghosts from my past. This took years to clear, but it has continued day in day out and finally after some years, a vast backlog of material that once looked like a vast warehouse, is emptying out.  In this empty space I have come to see that what we call the subconscious is merely a place we all have simply not felt at home for some reason.  Perhaps because of all our baggage stored there, the subconscious has seemed a strange and foreboding place.

The subconscious is NOT just a dumping ground.  It is in fact a gateway to the higher self.  It is a gateway that has gotten cluttered with baggage, skeletons, and other scary things, but just like a closet or wardrobe, just beyond the coats all lining the front is something just beyond them, which is another world. In fact, I suspect that C.S. Lewis was picking up on this simple truth in writing about Narnia in his books.  Beyond the obvious is an amazing realm that is a mirror of who we are in a larger context.  By learning to navigate the subconscious, you can learn to feel more at home within the larger scope of all that you are.  And you are way more than what you currently think you are.  Period. 

To do this, you have to learn a new way of relating to yourself.  Being more accepting and more aware of your feelings is a very important part of tapping the subconscious.  When you can understand what motivates you and moves you in a seemingly irrational way, you can know yourself and develop a better sense of continuity within yourself.  Knowing why on earth you experience knee jerk reactions helps to point out the unresolved issues within yourself.  Knowing how you tick trational and irrationally is an important step in being able to accept who you are and where you are.  In doing this, you can also then learn to release or forgive the old ghosts from the past, curiously.  Only in being able to relate to ourselves and why we are the way we are regardless of how little sense it seems to make to us is the actual hand upon the veil that pulls everything back for you to see and understand better.  Within this, though, is the act of surrender, which is the right brain simply mirroring something larger within your soul-self.  Surrender is huge because this one act brings us closer to ourselves, to the divine,as well as to our loved ones and the world.   Surrender accepts, and in this acceptance, there is great discoveries to be had that you never knew you could tap or touch.

It is no surprise, then, that there is so much talk about the coming of the divine feminine in this age.  Indeed, it is something that is afoot, has been afoot for many many decades.  Life has mirrored it in its usual gradual fashion, and in our current time it is gaining speed and steam.  This feminine is also mirrored in the left brain, even though the left and right are not themselves masculine or feminine but contain traits we identify with these two poles of our being.  This is not a sexual identification, but a psychic one.  But in relating to this side of ourselves, we also are able to discover this vastness of self  that has been expressed as the divine feminine.  All of this falls in line with this unused portion of our own neuro-physiology that is gradually coming on line for us.  As more touch it, more will come to it.  And more are.  But to know it is to know how to be nonrational.  This is not to say that there is no order or design to the experience.  Indeed, there is a subtle and nuanced sense of order and awe connected with such an experience.  It is simply DIFFERENT from the left brain and from the egoistic level of our own awareness.  The most important thing is not to fear it for its being different.  Learning to respect differences and to appreciate how these differences make us whole and vital is one important key to unlocking vast potential. 

Being able to surrender, to let go,  to see non-linearly and more holistically are important skills in this effort.  Seeing a bigger picture and never deciding that you know all there is to know.  You in fact know far less than what you don't yet know.  As you come to know more you are struck by how little you did know previously, and in reaching that, it can be a little embarrassing how little you knew.  But to realize this, we all have to have something that shows us this in a practical way.  Sometimes this can take years in order to develop this perspective.  Awakening, which accelerates this growth process, can supply it in much shorter order most often.  We are all specks on a planet that when viewed from space is itself a speck in a vast field of specks.  Our own knowledge is itself viewable in the same way.  By being open to this reality, we also become available to the experience of reality expanding before our very eyes. 

The answer is not in some magic technique.  The answer is in learning how to be different.  Consider there is a different way and while that might seem mysterious, your inner self actually KNOWS the way.  It does.  This vast storehouse of ability is like a superman or superwoman.  It is beyond what you think about here and now.  It is like some interstellar visitor.  You are more than you know and you are only tapping a small part.  Bid it into your life if you think you are ready.  When you are ready, it will come.  This is how this has always happened.  Those who seek are always surprised that they find what they are looking for even when they are surprised that they didn't fully know what it was they were seeking.  Well, yeah.  How CAN you know this?  You can't very well know what this interstellar visitor might be like, right?  You have to experience it directly.  Awakening leads to this. 

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