My heart opens when you come near
when I hear your voice
when the ether carries you to me
and I hold you in that moment
like pearls strung along a necklace.

Something shifts
no fear
or less than ever....
but grace has its way
I pray
show me the way
let me live in this essence
so necessary....

I feel incresingly different
I think shakles of the mind
and heart
are falling away.
This goes deep,
and I am in for the duration.

Come,
come,
come,
come....
join me for a swim
under pregnant moon
as eye meets eye
and we see into our forever

Beyond Words

If I told you that I loved you
how would you feel?
Would it scare you
or would it be like a secret
known but not expressed
for fear of trivializing something that is beyond words?

I have held back on these few words
feeling that inside of me
is something more
something more that needs to bloom
into you
out of me
through me
through you
into you-
emergent-
and so headily of Us....

Outside of this place
I sense a realm
beyond time
constant
all forms resting in potentiality
and an adoration flowing from me
that is so achingly strong
you'd have to see it or feel it to believe it
its love is perfect
and thus no apologies
for loving you so deeply
and completely....
which informs me here
I reach into that still world
which seems to animate this one
which is a flurry of activity
but there
its so so so still
and I am One with you
constantly connected
feeding into you
drawing from you
in this sacred
tantric
sensual
circuitry
that this inner part of me screams out for
which struggled to get close to
by divesting myself of these shakles
just so I can be close to you
to that essence
I recognize
which my heart aches for.

When I shut down my thinking
my mentalisizing
the heart speaks
moving in aching motions
it knows what it wants
needs
its home
and it is you.

I know it is you...

So if I say I love you
have always loved you
long before you even met me
then would it be surprising
when the nature of this
seems to entirely straddle this time
or place...
that tucked inbetween the moments of our lives
it is possible we have both encountered
the whispers from this other realm
which is in us
and is awakening to its greater purpose
which has always been singular and simple
and so incredibly grand:
to love.
Just that simply; to love without reserve or condition.

Whether imagined or not
this is worth following
for its pathways I suspect reach into the very depths of Us
and what we will become.

I do love you, but perhas that sounds trite....
no words can contain what I feel running through me
jumping like gazelles or swimming like those silvery fish in moonlight...
but what I know is that what I feel is what is in your heart
and I just feel so blessed, so amazingly blessed.
What I feel now, which emerges in this moment, has been so sought after.....
I always leaned into love
with this hope that this time I would feel that signal which I knew was correct.

I am so blessed, so truly blessed.
If you will let me
I will make you
my religion
my world
the very breath I breath
the words I speak
the beauty that is in me
that seeks to flow into you...

The Depths of You

Come
let me speak you
pulling from your depths
what you know to be true
another speaking you
as if it were him
dredging your fertile depths
returning words that have not been spoken
in centuries
yet are shining in their newness
as their bodies arch in bliss to feel me
annunciating them
loving each one of them as they are released from
their depths
and taken into me,
as they take me into them
and the secret is revealed
the truth is known in the moment
and I gasp for the blissful sensuality
that is Ours.
I need this
I don't know why
perhaps better to ask the sky
why its so wide open
or why the wind must rage.
It does because it is what it is;
its essence demands it.
It seems that when I follow the demand
of my heart
-my soul-
you are there
ready for me to speak it
aching for the voice....
and I think feeling me
speak you
is perhaps what I find so blissful
a reminder that I do see you
and feel you all through me---
the only difference is in depth.
How deep can I go?

All the way

comes the answer
to the center of you
beyond what our words can capture
or convey, perhaps what this world
is able to contain....and if this is so then come let us fill another.
Here you wont hear my words
but will feel my essence moving all through you
as though it never really left,
his gentle yet persistant presence
which knows the pressure with which to use
to reveal that which is yours.
It never did leave
only in this illusion
we have crafted for ourselves did it ever seem so lonely
desolate wastelands....
you were here all along
running through me like silver fish flashing
in moonlight
skimming the surface of me
my little self barely realizing how close you have been....but longing for the dream of you all this time.

When I speak you
I move through you like sunlight
illuminates the face of earth or moon
my presence like a tide
of light
They called him Ra
revealing and animating
inseminating
moment by moment
energetically
I give no excuse nor apology
for what remains
the domain of our soul
but without you its shadow dance
centuries of yearning and hoping...unfulfilled.
Its as if we animate our energy
in a way that is new but not really new
-its ancient realy-
its the waiting for centuries I think
that has been the arduous time-locked lesson.

Are we exploding time
letting loose the bounds of what came before
by feeling what is impossible to ignore
to run naked, slipping on the damp grass
just to get close enough to feel your heaving breath
near mine
to feel your familiar angle of intent
sending out a signal to something deep within me
begging me
to speak you
to mine you of your truth
so that we may both look upon it
and bask in its great riches,
to feel it as though they were a billion
ova awaiting fertilization?
I cannot tell you how much I need these riches
nothing in this world seems as important
as that which is in you
for what is in you liberates me
of these shackles...

So when I feel alone
I know its illusion that I have let in
and I know that if I can just touch upon your
foundation that it will bring me to myself
which brings me deeper into you....
This is why I might seem needful....
my soul says or seems to say
this has been the way this was supposed to go
I could not find the way myself
I needed you
the other divine part
to this puzzle....
I needed to trust
and as I did
I felt my insides surge forth
with your truth
which was my truth too....
a shared truth?
Or was it the same truth
showing different sides of its self?
When I am true to me
I feel you all through me.
Help me to realize this truth....

Empty

You are emptying me
aren't you
flushing me of so much
that no longer serves
my larger purpose
this does not make it easy
says the smaller self
who feels it all upclose
and does not have always
the gift of perspective.

No, you are emptying me
I know this to be true
when all my canals feel opened
and all that I cherish goes rushing out
along with the rest
I worry what will come back to me
"that which endures" is the enigmatic answer
but I rather feel I prefer that which is
more in line with my new/old axis
that which is best for that new man.

If you empty me
then it must be because I am about to be filled
or will fill
or will need to fill something
capacities enlarged
the present recreated
hidden paths illuminated
for you to tread.

Perhaps its a purging
as I am built up
burn it down
phoenix like
so it may reach the highest heights.

Empty me then
return me to dust
if you must
crush my heart and grind it into fuel
for your divine fire
if that is how it must be

I wait for the turning tide.

Hard

This is not easy
it goes against my instincts
yet
I am tender
vulnerable
forgetful
spinning.

I need a place to land
a place to find a moment
where I do not draw back in fear or pain
a place to lick my wounds
to sooth myself
I wish I could land next to you
for you know me best
your hand alone
pressed against my heart
could draw out all the hurt
just by you being you.
But I am afraid
afraid of being hurt
of coming so far
coming so close
feeling catapulted
distant
even to myself.
Old habits
ancient hurts
awakened in the present
conspire to trample the little self.

I know its time to let it all go
that's what this is all about
but sometimes its easy to lose sight
of the forest for the trees.
My feet press deep into the leaves and soil
of the forest floor
they will know I was here
all ways
my scent shall linger
my emergent self reaching into himself
to find you
the secret of you
the wonder of our common lineage
where I go I find you
so close
I could not see.
Something in me was aware though....
silently
quietly
still.

You have helped bring me to my larger self
someone who has known you always
and who cherishes nothing else
nor esteems anything else above you.
His gaze into you
singular
and constant
is hard for me to take
when I feel such pain....
I need to get back on my feet again
and know that I will survive even this
in these grey cold days
that will unfold
and reveal
the pearl
of our truth
and compassion
as purified in the fire
the crucible of the soul.