Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Loveself

Kundalini is about mastery over your subconscious. This mastery, though, is less the lion-tamer and more the loving gentle lamb.It is also about love, and this love is experienced in a myriad of ways.  What we experience, though, in Awakening, is how our very consciousness begins a tantric dance with the universe, one which reveals just how infused the universe is with passion.  The degree to which we have separated ourselves from this fundamental level of experience is the degree to which we have removed ourselves from our Essential Selves.  An Awakening will begin to reacquaint you with this ocean of bliss until you learn to remove all the layers until you stand completely free, naked, with your Essential Self with is this very passionate being that is love.  This is your Loveself and it is what you have always been underneath. No need to be embarrassed, or feel shame. In fact, shame and fear and all of those feelings have been the problem.  Now its time to heal and remove those layers.  You have always been there, shining through all of that stuff. 

For lifetimes, your soul has been sending parts of itself into physical reality.  Over and over, these different selves have made a range of choices, and often these have been similar choices, choices that have caused some behaviors to become ingrained.   Each time, that which remained unresolved, would get played over and over because the earthly self would, by virtue of  its own freewill, choose something based on something that was foreign to your essential self, to that part that you might call your larger destiny.  It chose to be with someone who would not love them perfectly, who would hurt them, or who would not feel the right way.    Whatever the particular flavor of the karmic entanglement, these kinks in the self can became deep ruts and would be recorded in your being as a karmic entanglement, less because the world was hard or hurtful but more because something in you was not finding its alignment with your divine being.  So over and over, this misalignment would play itself out until whatever it was that had been the cause of the problem got resolved.  Over and over this played out, lifetime after lifetime these issues would come up with the opportunity to work through them, less as a test, and more because of how the universe is ordered, which is not that its punishing or judgemental, but because you and the universe are realy one, and being one, this universe aligned with your expectations of it.  You simply attracted what you were.  This is hard for most people to take, to accept because, after all, none of us would have ever sought or chosen for bad things to happen to us, right?  Still, though, the truth remained all along that the traumas that you experienced, the trials and tribulations all resolved around that which you were unresolved about, that served to hurt you because they simply were never anything that was in your highest.  This is the missalignment, this is the source of all trouble, problems, and suffering.  Its less about expectation as buddha said, that cuases the suffering, its that the expectation that our earthly selves sometimes choose over and over that cause the problem.  This is the seed of our growing up, of our maturation and coming to the one undel=niable truth of our being.  If you want the world to change, it is you who much change.  The old argument must cease, and the way of your feeling must change so that the old argument simply is no longer important.  No one knows this better than I. I struggle with this all the time, and is the eseence of all that I am dealing with in my awakening.  It is also what everyone struggles with.  Eventually, like small children, we learn to set aside those things that we thought were important in favor of something still deeper.  If you want to call this the illusion that some speak of as being part of life, Maya, then so be it.

I will say as an aside that I do not feel that this makes our lives here merely illusory.  This notion must change if we are to be able to take in the fullness of this experience here.  This world is not illusory, but real.  This world is a CREATION, and it is this one element in our greater being that is the one great truth; we are CREATORS.  We are seeded with this impulse, and it is what has made worlds to form.  These worlds are the means by which we work through the very thorny issues of our becoming.  This is very important, very critical to our becoming.  If we then don masks in this play, as Shakespeare suggested, and the world is a stage for this greater inner drama to unfold, then it makes this place an important one for us and all of life.  It is a way for us to come to know ourselves, to evolve, to develop.  Its only by healing the rift that we have felt all along about our place here that we will learn to come to a better place within ourselves and with the universe both expressed (or created) and residing in potential.  When we can see how everything is delicately wedded to everything else, will we see or feel how we are not separate at all.  Certainly an awakening is all about showing us how everything is connected instead of separate.   By understanding how we create our world moment by moment based on how we feel, believe, and what still remains as that hitch inside that keeps us from a developing sense of unity with ourselves, our higher being, and the universe, can we begin to resolve the separation.

If you look back at Western culture through the lens of Christianity, you will see a story of a Fall that happened in the very beginning.  This is where we can trace in a mythic way, the source of our misgivings and thus separation with creation.  If you understand that there is no God that is angry, ready to punish you for being who you are or for not obeying the commands of this God, then you can begin to understand that this Fall was one which we ourselves created.  Somewhere, a sense of falling short entered into us, perhaps somewhere where we felt our individuality and our egos perhaps too much, more than what I call our own Waveform Awareness, which is that part of our experience where we transcend beyond the particle of the self and move into unity with all other particles (be they atomic or cosmic) and into the vast being that makes up the Collective Awareness and touches upon our infinite being, upon the universe of which we are all a part.  Somewhere, though, we fell out of that Wave and into the Particle.  When we did that, we forgot who we were in completeness.  Then the grief, the sadness, the suffering began.  We felt shame and we felt naked.  Instead of being connected with the vast intelligence teeming all around us, nature became something to be conquered.  Nature also became something that we no longer trusted.  We did not speak to the animals, they did not hear us and they feared us.  We also had reason to fear them.  We lost something very important.  We saw their animal nature as something not to be trusted and this meant that  our own animal natures could not be trusted.  Our natural impulses were seen as dirty and shameful instead of arising out of that vast Wave of Creative energy that is the essence of Awakening and our greater being.  This all happened and we made a myth of it as a way to explain to ourselves why we felt the way we did.  We also served to ingrain an old wrinkle in our psyches with a story that would be handed down from one generation to the next only reinforcing those greatest of fears.  And here, the separation was never made more brilliant and certain; man and woman were pitted against one another in a distrustful way in the same way that they had chosen to distrust their own divine natures.  Men were made to toil and women would bear the weight of what this distrust encompassed.  Whew!  What a way to get started!  So little wonder that we have the trouble that we do.  Time, then, to work through this so that all the old stuff can be made peace with and the separation healed within us.  

When an Awakening stirs in you, all of these old issues get brought to the surface.   It will be through such an experience that you may begin to glimpse just how attached you became with the hurt in your pasts that mirrors your own present experiences.  The universe mirrors you also, so events will happen based on who and what you are.  If you have issues related to abundance (see the root chakra), nurture, mothering, and taking care of one's self, there are often issues lodged in the vibrational frequency range of the root, for example. It can be in other places through your energetic self, certainly, but will often tend to cluster around a specific area in you because of the particular vibratory frequency associated with the specific problem you have.  Every issue will have a certain frequency, and will tend to reside in a given part of your energy body.  An awakening bring awareness of this, and will point you to certain areas where there is pain...not so much in the physical body (although it can manifest as physical pain and sometimes even physical problems) as it is in your consciousness. This is where we can get very quickly into diagrams and systems, but the thing to remember is that this is just about a return to love.  When you find yourself having trouble, getting tangled up in the harder aspects of awakening, all you really have to do is breathe deep and ask yourself what this is all about.  Its about LOVE.  That's it.  You don't need to know any more.  If you make it too complicated, it can squeeze out the love.  Can you love?  Good. Want to talk about how consciousness is ordered and how healing plays into it?  Ok.  But its better to just feel the love. This alone will heal and smooth those hard surfaces.  There are a lot of hard people who have awakened, and they think they have softened, but this is all a matter of relativity and awareness.  You can soften more.  Your soul is crying out for a still deeper experience, and you need to give yourself to it in surrender if you are to know true happiness with your soul. This is because your soul IS love.   The soul is simply love, and the closer we get to it, the more powerful this feeling is.

The feeling of being free from your old hurts is because of how close we have moved to your soul. Some will want to think they are experiencing God, but in truth, you are experiencing your soul as it is connected to everything else.  Its pretty amazing, really.  And if it can feel like this, imagine what the universe might well be deeper down. This comes about in a permanent way when you learn to release those old unresolved feelings, those kinks in your self that keep you from feeling your higher self, your Essential Self.  This is about learning to align to your divine self.  Divine Alignment. 

There is a lot to learn.....and its simpler than a system.  By learning how to feel differently, you find the sacred path to your soul.  You also set up a vibration that the universe will form itself around you with, mirroring you perfectly.  Because your soul exists outside of time, it feel infinite to you.  Call it God or Goddess, whatever you want....the Cosmic all works....because this loveself does not need to prove anything but simply be, your way of being with this is in a quiet and uncomplicated way.  In a sense, all it is asking of you is to jump into the water.  Overcome your fear.  Overcome your inward brittleness and stiffness.  Flow with this water, flow like the ocean of being. This is because you ARE this ocean.  There is nothing else you need to know.  Oh, and just be happy. The war is over.  All of that attachment to hurt and trauma, it can be over in an instant.  Moment by moment, you learn to change the future, and you also change your association with a past that is now being changed as surely as your present is being changed.  Think how incredibly powerful this act can be.

As you do this, you make it easier for others, whether you are aware of it or not.  It is certainly what happens in the midst of the quantum field of effects.  As each person makes their own discovery, they add to the vast ocean of awareness that each awakened person is swimming in right NOW.  You shift the world with each act, and you can also make it easier for others to awaken in a way they might not have done so otherwise.  It might be one grain of sand, but we are billions in size and we are motivated via the web of the All.  This might sound a bit silly to you, but understand that nothing has ever been more true, and in so being, you must know that you can bid the tsunami to come and move your world if you need for it to. It will change and take any form you need it to, for the universe aligns with your expectations, especially those expectations which are subconscious, unresolved, pushed deep down inside of you out of shame or fear or any number of things that your karma has served to create in the choices you have made through how you have felt (conscious or not).  This is one reason why becoming aware of all your inner junk or your old baggage is important; you can live a much more rewarding life when you are more in control of what it is you believe and feel.  Since the universe forms itself around these feelings, then how you feel has never been so important.  An awakening helps to dredge the depths, and as we do, we have lots of very fertile compost with which to build a more verdant life built on what we need deep down than just the surface and what has remained troublesome and misunderstood.  The universe is conforming to your expectations of it micro second by microsecond....

You see, even if you never help another, your own experience will itself be available in an entirely perfect way to others. If you chose as I have often felt impelled to do, to slip quietly into the ocean and drift from shore, from this world and into other realms of brilliant potentiality, it would not be a loss what you would otherwise perhaps give had you stayed.  Through the potential of the Wave, that part of the experience of awakening that leads you to that different way of being where you feel yourself flowing into everything, where you feel the connection of your energy with that of the leaf, the flower, the atoms of air, and all things present and implied, obvious and subtle.  It is this part that you are able to tap the limitlesness within you.  It is here that you learn to feel differently.  And just as I was told by someone who showed up in my awareness at a certain stage of my awakening, this person said, "there is nothing more for you to do except to step into the blueprint that has been brought to bear in this time. The efforts of countless pilgrims, sages, priests and priestesses, all have unknowingly and in their own small ways, helped to contribute to what you now have before you.  There is nothing to be done except to step into this blueprint that was fashioned by Collective Consciousness, through Collective Effort."  It seemed rediculously simple at the time, but this is just how we find change in awakening; we simply choose to be different.  Its not hard work once we get there, its just a sideward move, a step to the side and the world changes. Ego thinks it has to be all this work.  Beneath it all resides what has been, waiting to be brought into greater awareness by divesting of that which held up our attention and energy.  By focusing energy in areas that are healthier for us individually, we can feel the divine flow within us more clearly and more powerfully. Instead of seeing it all through karmic lenses, we see through a nice clean and clear window....which is our birthright.  Its what we are destined to do.  Without time tables or expiration dates, the infinite expands outward.  We expand with it if we are just brave enough to let go, opening ourselves up to swift hands of divinity that can do great work for us.

By opening up to the possibilities that this world offers, we can rediscover the self that we are.  Its what we have always been.  We are learning to grow up.  But unlike C.S. Lewis, who was biased by his own lack of healing and a belief that suffering is God's way of helping us to grow, we can learn to see it differently:  suffering is what we have brought on ourselves.  Since we have freewill, and since this freewill is so important to the deity, that being wont interfere with what we choose. We learn to reap what we sow, and by learning to sow differently, we come closer to that deity, to our own relationship with it.  The truth is, the universe is love, but its not a love that is on any kind of crusade for or against us.  All of this, we have created.  It is now time to return to the garden.  It is within you and me.  It is in all of us and it is within our ability to find it if we can but remove some of the old brush that has grown up around what will resolve into perfect beauty for us, in us, through us. This is where we heal and find union with our divinity.  How wonderful is that?

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