Why Tantra Is So Important

When you awaken, you awaken to a world where nothing much is the same as it was.  Clearly, there is a channel within that is opened.  Thought energy is more than just your own private thoughts.  You come to realize that thoughts really DO have power.  And here we are on the planet, chattering away inside of ourselves, and its possible to hear all of this.  Your own thoughts aren't as private as you may have previously realized.  It isn't that people are snooping on you, no, because once you awaken, there just isn't the desire to such things.  It was like when I began seeing auras.  For a while it was interesting, novel even, but then I realized I was SEEING people....their private things being expressed in their aura. So when that happens, you have a new responsibility and you take it seriously.  But thought energy isn't just nothing.  From thought new creations come. The quality of thought counts.

So thought is itself energy.  We ourselves are made up of all kinds of sheaths or facets within us that all process energy in a different way.  We have maybe five basic bodies that bend the energy in certain ways the way that a prism bends light and breaks it into different colors (if you are into dividing us into such neat categories)....physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, etc., and so each of these will experience the same energy differently.  Each will be a facet or expression of what you are. At one place it will feel as exquisite sexual energy while in another place it will feel more sensual, less sexual.  In another place, it will feel so powerful as though you can do anything.  In another place within you, this energy might be like divine love, in another place it might illuminate and clarify your inner sight....there are so many ways that energy from the cosmos can be experienced!

One aspect of your energetic being is sexual energy.  Now we have a lot of weirdness surrounding this part of ourselves.  There is a huge amount of shame as a race on this count.  This shame that has remained unresolved has made us prisoners to old hurts and old karmic threads that have kept us on the merry-go-round of karma for lifetimes.  LIFETIMES. But sexual energy is one aspect of who you are, and it is easier to deal with the more you allow yourself to be healed. Once you are able to clear each vehicle (as the Hindus call it), as you clear each center that channels energy through you, you can begin to have a clearer and more peaceful existence.  You can also use each center for life in a way that brings you fulfillment instead of snags or problems.

What makes Tantra so important isn't that its about sex, its that it deals with sexual energy as a way to reach union with the divine.  See, the divine does not have the shame you have.  The universe has no problem meeting you and merging with you in any way you are willing to merge with it.  The vast consciousness that IT is simply has moved beyond shame a long time ago.  As a result of this, it seems perfectly capable of experiencing bliss and wonder no matter how we approach it.  the only thing missing is how WE react to the same thing.  Learning how to be without shame is important.  By this I do not mean to say that you are shameless and thus unstudied in your morality, no.  What I mean is that you are more like a child.  You return to a purer place within before all of the guilt and shame about your body, about who you are or how you are was put into place by you. When you do that, you experience whatever it is more directly, less encumbered.  When you do this sexually, you are dealing with a very powerful form of energy.  This energy can speed yourself along, but it is not for the feint of heart.  Using all of you is a beautiful thing in spiritual work.  It reaches into religion but without the dogma. Sexual energy, then, moves fast and is felt by others.  You need to be careful about how you direct it and use it.  As a result, your own mind and your own issues need to be healed and worked on so that the quality of your experience will continue to be more and more refined.

It is hard for some folks to know what remains.  What remains in you is what gets in the way with a direct experience of yourself and the divine.  What remains to be surrendered?  What is not in your highest?  It is hard to know what isn't in your highest always.....because sometimes your highest is a few steps ahead of where you are.....so this means that you have to be willing to accept what your higher self sends to you as signs, as directives, or as outcomes or events that can lead you to the next step in your path.   In time, with enough attention, the answers will come.  I know this may sound laissez- faire, but I promise you that this is an aspect of co-creation that will work if you allow it.  the secret is that you can make ANY technique work IF you believe in it enough.  If doing a series of incantations allows you to believe that something will come to pass, then by golly, it will!  That is the nature of belief!  Ask that you be shown.  And be patient. 

Keep at it. 

Sometimes you need to be ready to see before you can see. Let the universe pave the way for you.  You think you are this limited being in this small body when in truth you are one life looking out through this one body but you have many many many more bodies, lives, experiences beyond comprehension.  With time being an illusion, ALL of you is available NOW.  Your future selves, your God or Goddess self in its advanced state is available to you.....and its at your fingertips.  Accelerate yourself....and you will see.

So tantra isn't really about sex, but it is about sexual energy.  There is a very big difference, there.  Some feel the need to respond in a more typical way with tantric energy and release the energy.  However, it can also be used to elevate ones self.  You can use it to do things, create things, or to live a life that is devoted to love in a more subtle way.  There are countless ways to utilize the energy, and no one way better than another. But its not always about sexual union only.  Feeling sexual energy is not the same as being engaged sexually, and this energy when felt powerfully enough actually has the power to transform you.  This has been the aim of many followers, many monks, many priests and priestesses down through the ages.  It isn't the only one, of course, but it is one very valid way toward self transformation. 

I have found how love and sexual energy go hand in hand....for love is NOT sexual energy, but sexual energy is an expression of love, or CAN be if love is holding its hand.  Do you see?  Sexual energy is like a raw fire.  Now we can use that fire to burn down the house and barn or we can control it and manage that fire within the bounds of discipline and love and devotion.  By allowing yourself to be open to the All, you can experience something here on the planet with the divine that is simply not here with other humans yet.  Being able to FEEL something HERE on the planet is huge.  It is what I call Anchoring The Vibration.  Being able to anchor a vibration here is HUGE.  Really.  So by doing this kind of work, you aren't JUST doing it for yourself, you are also laying down a path that makes it easier for others to reach it.  You are setting up a frequency that will be easier for others to match or follow or find.

And I am just here reminding you that this is so.

So with tantra, you can find God-dess or the divine.  It is right in front of you.  Now breathe deep and just let it in.  Let it be.  realize and remember who you are.  You are more than just your life.  You re so much more.....now breathe it in and let the divine cradle and love you....

The Tantrics

What is often not understood is how sexuality can itself lead to salvation.  For lifetimes, for centuries, we have felt such shame surrounding this part of ourselves. And yet, like a great secret buried in what seem to be the most shameful parts of ourselves, lies an answer to what we are, who we are, and what we can become.  Here, sexuality in awakening can begin to clear a path quickly within the self and Pranamayakosha, the Light body so that lifetimes of old shame is sloughed off.  Karma slips away. It is like an epiphany when just one karmic knot slips away.  As the knots lessen the flow increases and what was once strong flow becomes a clearer flow.  What is an incredible desire and yearning grows into an incandescent fire that is both hot and cold at once.  The body is lit up for hours and hours, days, weeks, months at a time.  Slowly the self learns that its natural state is in bliss not in the seemingly grounding sense of being separate and singular.  With awakening to this great power residing within, one knows oneself as connected into all other things, a nodule on one rung of the great cosmic dna of the cosmos.  The flow of this energy within is also the flow of this energy in all things.  It is the force that connects and binds all things.  And it is orgasmic.  Beyond orgasmic.  To be able to allow its energy to flow within we learn surrender so deep there's nothing there to catch the current, nothing to limit it or impede it.  Anything that catches the current causes a great deal of turbulence and trouble.  This would be something brought about by maya. 

A spark of the divine is lit and burns, tended by the one who moves with it.  So hypnotic, so beautiful, so incredible, what was once sexual becomes the basis of worship.  A man's love, then, for a woman, moves from being mere interest or attraction to something so all pervading and consuming that it illuminates the opposites all through nature in brilliant relief.  These opposites become forces within the psyche that churn and move the old latent material of the self, spitting out old splinters, coughing up stones and bile and clarifying the body and soul even more.  The self becomes a channel, a pathway for the divine spark....the fuel comes from the universe and is without end.

For those who awaken to this depth of illumination something changes in them forever. Instead of sexual energy making them obsessed, they become saintly.  Holding this incandescence within in grace and silence is the greatest of grace, the most sublime of pursuits.  And for as incredible as all of this sounds, every single one who has been touched by this is as human and as down to earth as anyone else you might meet. Perhaps because of this, these can appreciate the need for getting hands dirty, for making food, for building fences, for mending paths and growing gardens.  Acceptance, surrender, and love, resides in the moment, as each moment serves a purpose.  A tantric is never bored.

The more one touches the divine, the greater the bliss.  The less one is able to know or observe a division between the worshiper and the worshipped. When in tantric practice a tantric is not just reading the Other's mind, s/he IS the others' mind.  Over vast distances, one may feel and know even more intimately than when in conjugal union with the other.  One's gaze becomes powerful as it can be as strong as ones desire to be near.  The beam of attention can be known as traveling as light travels into the body through the eye.  Currents of awareness become like extended sensory organisms, nerve endings that extend one's reach and knowing. A touch is an earthquake, a smile a summer breeze, a whisper the rolling of thunder. One becomes more than merely human and touches upon the capacities within the self to know and to become, to evolve, to embody this.  Tantra reveals the capacity of the self to know and to become.  One may be spellbound for days, resting in this union of two souls separated by miles or continents.  Some can be separated by death and still connect on the deepest of levels. When one soul looks into another, when both are aware of no duality existing between them and the infinite, the souls who touch in this way realize a point of sacredness, of worship, of deep devotional practice that abides moment by moment like a prayer upon ones lips.  Beyond obsession, it is  bhakti. 

The yoke is easy, the labor rewarding.  This path dissolves shame and returns one to the origin; the fabled garden of Eden.  No longer cast out, the way back is realized.  The division we have long felt is erased, god and goddess reside here in all things.  The love within is total.

I raise my hand and I feel Shiva raising his hand before Shakti; his presence moves all through her and a current of white energy flows through them both.  This, the sea of milk is churned by their mutual affection into a more refined material, the sacred ghee.  All of this, stories, clothing to drape over that which is not but that is known and felt and which fills the gap of each moment and glues everything together.  It is a great nothingness that is something, everything, a potential waiting to be. 
The sword of the soul shall in its own time shear from itself that which does not belong and call to itself all that serves the highest.  Until then, bliss turns and sways within us in countless nights and days as we each learn to anchor heaven to earth. 

Beyond Belief

Everything that you are in your psyche is a collection of values that are based in belief.  The curious thing about belief is how little we actually bother to learn the root of any belief.  Everything about my experience with kundalini is about shedding those beliefs which have limited my experience.  The beliefs I held were also a mirror of my own karmic entanglements. Subtly and overtly, my beliefs moved and turned in me, effecting my thinking and informing my reactions and feelings.

Karma is a curious thing. Its like belief in how blind it is. It shares a lot with belief in that it is often accepted without conscious awareness and is carried without being aware of it, and yet it has governed so much of what we say, do or feel.

It's also curious that sometimes you can shed a karma by being willing to look at how it has blinded you.  The effect karma has is that it makes you see only what the karma is about.  So lets say that you feel like someone doesn't love you.  You believe this is true, and the source of this karma has to do with self esteem, which goes back to self love.  As Alison Neville, a great teacher and writer in her own right once said, all karma goes back to self love.  No matter how far afield it gets, the trail always leads back to self love.  So in this inability to love yourself and know yourself to be perfect and lovable, you then see how someone has a deficiency in their behavior. You SEE it as deficient, and you see this as reflecting on you.  This deficiency in another reflects on you, so this must mean that they do not love you.  And so off you go believing this is true while all along you have not looked more deeply at why this is so.

I was one such person. I had some bad experiences as a very small child.  A baby, actually.  This affected me so that I didn't bond properly with my mother. I grew up angry at her because of something I didn't get.  I was wounded. When I was able in the midst of my awakening to step back far enough, I saw a very different picture.  Instead of merely trying to connect the dots to make my own weird picture of life, I began to understand that life was hard back then and my mother was doing her level best with a very bad situation.  It did affect how she felt to me, it did affect how attentive she was with me.  Yes, yes, yes, to all of it.  Yes.  But it did not mean she did not love me.  In truth, she cherished me.  I was her youngest, the one who was perhaps having the hardest time making sense of all of this that was happening. So I grew up with this feeling of separation, of having been treated different, the whole nine yards.  In truth, I was not able to simply love myself and know I was okay.  If I had, I might have been a bit happier.  I might feel less wounded.  In truth, I saw what I wanted to see.

Belief is the same thing.  It is taken on almost automatically without regard to questioning it or giving it any kind of road test.  We don't stop for one moment and consider why it is that we have religions and countries full of people who believe that we are dirty or fallen, sinful, or that certain aspects of our own creative beings are bad.  Like sex.  Its dirty.  Its only to be used for procreation.  Anyone want to hazard a guess as to why this notion was promulgated in the first place?  Is it any surprise that there was a demonizing of the old religions which were based on seeing the god and goddess within each person?  Here, the highest sacrament was Heiros Gamos.  All of that went away when Christianity came along. There are similar strains in the HIndu tradition as well.  There is this attitude that sex is bad.  The man who translated the Bhagavad Gita As It Is has expressed this view quite clearly when the book was published  in the early 70's.

An awakening will challenge you top to bottom, tip to toe.  Nothing is left alone.  It keeps pushing.....returning you to a more natural state. But as long as we fear any aspect of sexuality or any aspect of our selves at all, we just wont "go there."  You have to be willing to examine your beliefs from the most subtle to the most overt.

Writing in my book, I explain how we have a triadic being.  While we have a dual energy system of what could be called masculine and feminine currents, we also have a processing system for that energy that is based on the fact that we have three brains in one brain. Yes.  Three.  We have a part of our brain that is identical to a reptilian brain.  If you look at this part of the brain it is no different from any other reptile in shape and proportion.  This is the part that is capable of processing a certain range of experience.  These are what we would consider our base instincts. This is the fire of pure sexual energy.  On top of that brain is a mammalian brain that is identical to most mammals across the earth.  This part of our brain deals with higher order expression and experience and allows us to feel kinship, togetherness, and compassion.  It is in this part of the brain that we bring up the energy from the reptile and refine it.  But concurrent with it is still this very pure energy that is streaming in from the cosmos, so unless you either deal with it or ignore it, it remains a challenge if your beliefs tell you that pleasure is bad or wrong, or even sinful.  But in the latest unfolding, we have what is called the primate brain, and this is the part of us that makes us, so we are told, so different from all the other mammals.  We not only thing about the clan or family group, we are able to reflect on the inherent good of something for the whole.  So instead of small groups, we can contemplate how something might affect a nation or world.  This is the most abstract part of the brain's processing capability (at least this is what we suspect thus far), and it is here supposedly that we are able to realize the higher range of experience of the cosmos in our crown, in our forebrains.  Here, we have a mirror of the higher forms of bliss. Its a step up in this three step ladder I am talking about.

In the energy body there are these same corresponding octaves as well as seen in the root, heart and crown.  These are perhaps some of the most central of the seven in many respects.  They all ultimately go together as a unity in order to draw all energies upwards into a higher realization. We say the lower energies are less somehow, but this is only due to bias and belief.  Its also karmic.  Without the root, we do not feel the power found in the crown.  Without the crown, we cannot know the power of the root.  But in denying any of it, we turn a blind eye to its importance.  Its in bringing the entire energetic self into a unity that we realize the fullest potential of our beings.  This is based in bliss.  If you have beliefs that feeling this kind of bliss is bad, then there are naturally some hurdles that will befall you.  Even the seeming lower base energies are all important in the overall unity. Without them, the bliss of kundalini simply would not be. It would instead be something of a corpse, a being with a half life. When we seek to sideline one aspect, we create more problems for ourselves. We limit our fuller experience. While the power of awakening will fuel a great flame in our spirits, it will only reach but so high or only so broadly.  By not bringing fear into it, you are free to experience it in its fullest dimension.  You are free, then, to return to what we were before all this demonizing began and the sacrament of heiros gamos was experienced in its fullest.

From the moment kundalini touches you, you experience the very essence of union.  Shakti does not have to travel upwards to meet Shiva in the crown. They are already connected from the very start.  Their union IS the bliss as it travels upward both literally and figuratively. Its only in pulling them apart that kundalini stops. But once begun, no human WANTS it to stop.  This is the Divine Marriage and it begins within the self. The self is healed and brought to a place of unity first.  Not after something else happens outside the self.  The universe must be known for what it is first within you, and then from you, it will unfold. From this seed, the universe is planted and grows anew. This is how the world is healed, one person at a time. It is not through conquest, or through manipulation.  It is not by having a crutch of any kind, be it a religion or family or any of the rest. You are like the orphan spoken of in the gospel of Philip that inherits the world.  And indeed you do.  But first, within you this great mystery must unfold or else what you have is a corpse.  Seek the kingdom first. It is within you. And it is first by making the left the right, the right the left, making the female into the male and the male into the female (Gospel of Thomas).  It is here, in this unity of the self that the true healing takes place. 

Popping The Lid Off Duality

Okay, so when you go through this awakening experience you become very aware of how your bliss is the result of a merging of two opposites inside of you.  I was aware of it as a refined intelligence that had suddenly started moving through me.  It had a sense of awareness about itself, but it felt so diffuse or so developed that the "I" was not there in the way it is with a person.  It was certainly there, no doubt, but this "being" for want of a better term was more like one of us far far far into the future when we evolve into earth spirits, sky spirits, guardians of vaster realms of energetic experience.  Not to say this IS what kundalini is, but very much HOW it felt which is perhaps to say that this is a higher order awareness, what I say in my book our future selves looping back into us, a cosmic hand up from out divine or cosmic parents.

You can feel their union in you from the moment this begins to move.  Some say kundalini must go UP the spine to be fully realized.  I say its fully realized the MOMENT you feel it.  Then, it sweeps you clean.  And then, yes, you learn how to flow into ever greater levels of INTEGRATION of that energy which is there in UNION from the get-go.  Realize, what I am saying is that the two forces of the divine masculine and feminine are not working their way UP to reach a place of union.....they ARE in union.  THIS is what creates the unique experience of kundalini.  And it is we, on an individual level, who learn how to effectively mimic this, or learn it from this cosmic parentage.  Its how ALL learning works in our world, so I use the analogy because its so close to how things work with awakening.

So, knowing this, we sense there are two poles in us that push and pull.  Really? We certainly experience that.  I say the poles are a seeming in a larger world of reality.  Here, though, through the magic of individuation, we tend to move from one end of the pole to another. We do this based on our own natures at the soul level.  Its a choice, basically. For some reason one soul feels more aligned with the inverted force of the feminine whereas another soul will feel more aligned with the extroverted energy of the masculine.  We then see the sexes, the natural kingdom dealing in all of this dual expression and we say, its a manifestation of something deeper.  But what if in truth, what kundalini is trying to tell us is that all of the sexual energy we feel, all of the yearning we feel is merely the result of being pulled from one end of the polarity spectrum?  And what do you think would cause this tension?

In awakening, when you feel ANY form of tension, what can you attribute it to? The literature is rife with this phenomenon of energetic tension, and its spoken about as leading to intense pain in the body only to find there is NOTHING in the body to warrant it.  Its entirely energetic.  What do you think causes this?  I say that the cause of this is our own misalignment from the deeper truth....and this misalignment is karma. If you consider that all karma is a miperception of what is true, you will realize that it is karma that gets in the ay of your being able to FLOW and integrate kundalini. This is all done in degrees and is not a sudden thing, but is more like a spiral than a destination. If you were to see it visually, you'd see a spiral going on forever.  There IS no end.  We just keep going, developing, opening, realizing our greater potential along this growing world of awareness.  We all accept I think that as you drop karma you free yourself up to FEEL more deeply into what this kundalini thing is. And what it is is simple; bliss.  THis bliss is a new level of being based on joy and wonder than the old modes of pain and loss. Its a flip.  WHat has been keeping your from experiencing bliss is karma. You THINK you are separate.  You THINK you aren't loved.  You THINK you will be abandoned.  Now just to make things interesting, in comes the Law of Attraction.  Remember, its entirely neutral, but once it hits you (well it doesn't suddenly hit you....its ALWAYS there....) but once it "hits you" you naturally find events form themselves around your expectations.  So in the case of a hard karma about loss, well the world will bring you loss.  You become a prisoner to your own junk.  Now that's hard. But kundalini is there, a kind of ace in the hole and it whispers "You have a choice....you have free will.....you can choose to feel differently......the path is forgiveness.....only this will free you.....you can't pretend your way out of feeling differently.....you must BE different....."

So karma is the material that separates us from our nonduality.  Its like mortar between two bricks that really don't want to be separate but ONE.  It LOOKS like the two bricks are separate through the wonders of the physical world of seeming, but in truth, the bricks came from the same seam of clay, were all made of the exact same stuff.  Deeper down, the bricks know they are part of something that makes up a whole.  Dissolving the karma results in settling in deeper to the Source of all life and to the bliss that pours through it. This bliss leads to a very different life, and I daresay its far preferable than living a life of loss, anger, sadness or fear.

So we tend to divide out from one pole to another because of how bodies have evolved to process this energy on a physical level.  We create more people through the process of our being individual and sexed differently.  We have all made this choice to do this.  We identify with a certain composition of sexual traits.  This isn't merely male or female, but also can result in a range of effects where people have a blend of traits, too, as in the case of gay or lesbian. Based on my own experience, though, I can say that there is  a polarity to this energy much like a magnet having two poles and attracting based on its opposites.

I have never read this having happened to anyone before, but some time ago I had an experience that involved what I can only describe as a momentary flip of my energetic poles.  This happened as a result of feeling into my makeup energetically.  While I do feel we tend to move into one end of the sexual energetic spiritually, I also note that we ourselves are a mixture of traits that we would identify as being masculine or feminine.  As a result of this, one layer is a MIX of traits. On another layer, we are polarized towards one end of the spectrum of yin and yang.  I would say for simplicities sake that the former tends to define your sexual orientation.  Again, I think its entirely possible to have variations inbetween where the identification between one or the other is less polar.  I don't think its a hard and fast rule, just that there SEEMS to be a tendency towards one end of the poles over another per soul choice.

In this experience I became aware that I was a woman living in a country that very much looked like Mongolia. I lived in a kind of hut or tent.  It was covered with the hides of animals.  We wore heavy clothes because it was cold most of the time.  As I felt into this through the eyes of kundalini, I felt something happen where my own sensing into my sexual energy experienced a sudden flip in my body.  There, in my life as a male, I could feel my energy change.  It was as though it turned itself inside out. Instead of a beam of energy projected outward, I was a shaft of darkness pulling inward.  I did not push energy OUT I pulled energy IN. What I experienced, though, was a bliss that was identical to what I had felt as a male. The only difference was HOW I felt it. Perhaps how it was processed, or HOW energy moved through me was different, but the feeling was about the same.  Looking out through her eyes, I could feel how fond she was of her partner.  He had rough callused hands from the work he did. He was kind of rough in a way, yet he was simple and direct.  He was uncomplicated.  His eyes were like a beam of energy that exuded a quiet sense of confidence.  I cherished him.  And feeling this, it was a revelation.  As a male in this life, I found that I did not feel weirded out in the least by this.  IN fact, I was overcome by the sense of love and intensity that existed between these two people.  I felt the same attraction I might have felt otherwise except the energy went IN instead of OUT.  As I felt this memory fade, I felt my alignment continued along the feminine pole.  I then observed that the pull began to weaken and I could feel the polarity literally shift inside of me, like a bubble rising to the surface of the water.  What happened through all of this, though, was an amazing amount of energy was liberated.  For days I felt the waves from this experience.  I think that under most circumstances because of our own fear, we never experience this just because we are somehow afraid it will alter us, make us strange.  We are, after all, some of the most repressed beings sexually of any species on the planet. Centuries of weird societal and religious controls that I think are entirely unnatural and repressive have kept us from seeing or knowing our truer selves.  It isn't that we are some kind of strange androgynous beings, no.  But even so, WHO says being androgynous is weird?  Weird to who? Snails are able to fertilize themselves.  Nature certainly makes a case for this way of being, so how is it weird.  Maybe its just outside of people's experience.

So here is the thing.....Jesus spoke about how he was one with the father and mother.  This is in both king James and in lesser known gnostic texts, so we know its not some glitch.  Mother was changed or used interchangeably with Holy Ghost. Most forgot conveniently what the Ghost part was all about.  But regardless, her was Jesus with the father and mother IN him.  He was ONE with them.  He was as much in the father AS the mother. And he was a dude, okay?  Buddha himself experienced kundalini, and here the masculine AND feminine were crawling all through him.  Yup.  The DUDE was experiencing the bliss of the WOMAN coming into (gasp!) union with her male counterpart.  Her is where I light my hair on fire and pretend to run around the room in mock terror. So her is the thing; I can FEEL what it feels for the feminine.  Being unchained through kundalini I KNOW what its like. Being connected through soul energy and soul connection, I KNOW how it feels. Its part of a deeper energetic merging that happens when two consciousnesses come together in this way.  If you go deep enough you can feel a sense of being in two bodies at once.  THIS is what consciousness does. It is not limited.  When I had a a past life experience of a native American vision, I was in multiple places ALL at the SAME time. None of this felt strange or even confusing.  If felt natural.  Only to our limited individual awareness do we dream such limited dreams that tell us we only experience life through one perspective.  Hog wash!  Energy flows. Consciousness flows.  Tantra, one of the highest forms of worship involves this very form of energetic communion between two people.  There is a sense of two becoming one less in body as in soul. How is this possible?  Divisions are dissolved enough to allow it to happen.  You are no longer weird about what it might feel like to feel another person feeling you feeling them. Feeling you. And them.  And back again. And this DOES happen.  Its not some weird glitch of the universe or the product of some depraved mind. When you get there, though, all of your old junk just drops as you see in a larger totality how the creation is perfect.  And in an awakening, you have BOTH of these polarities in you.  BOTH.

We have both in us.  We were said to be born from their union.  So if souls are made in this way, we are each a part of one and the other along with a choice for a given polarity so that we wind up one orientation or another. Curious, I think, because I sense that the amount or reliance on one end of the polarity depends also on how many lifetimes you have lived as male and female.  I do not buy that we are exclusively one or the other.  Nope. I can se and read in all people a blend of traits.  Some women who are very feminine also have some pretty overt masculine traits, and what is most interesting is how they themselves choose not to see them.  Something about the polarity of being convinced of just how feminine they are seems to breed this.  Women, though who are more of a blend where they do not define themselves so strongly along gender lines also have less of a problem with being one or the other. There are also all sorts of variations in between. And the same goes for men.  Some men are amazingly weird about any suggestion that they might have feminine traits. These men, are extremely polarized while also having a kind of repressed femininity.  Some men are very comfortable in being sensitive and nurturing. See, thing is, our worth is not tied to one gender or another.  We can be whatever we want. Quite naturally we have some people who will scream from the sidelines that we ought to be burned at the stake, but really, who is paying any attention to those folks anymore?  Do we? So the point here is we may have a polarity within our sexual orientation, but we will also have a blend.  We have both.  And I suspect that we need both because life force IS both. You just can't get around it. This I very much suspect is the case.  If you tease the masculine out from the feminine embrace in the universe, things would devolve into madness quickly.  If you do the same in the opposite fashion, the universe would go crazy in the opposite direction, but mad nonetheless.

So we feel all of this in separation.  Our bodies are separate, our awareness is too, or so we experience until awakening hits.  Gradually, we learn things aren't QUITE the way we had thought they were. And why?  Karma. As we dissolve karma, we bring those poles closer and closer.  Do we lose our sexual identities?  Well let me ask you, do you think individuality can ever be destroyed?  I don't think so, no.  I think that any imprint made will remain even if for some reason someone WERE to manage to slink back into absolute oneness.  Others would naturally follow, so its not a genie you can keep in the bottle I don't think.  I think the further we get from concretions of thought, the more flexible we are to see the universe in all its vastness.  Do I think that means you HAVE to be sexually flexible?  No. I still think we have the capacity within to still grasp it.  Now as to whether we embody it, that might be a different story.  But ultimately, the walls do come down at one point or another, and its at that point where there is no fear over what those walls even mean because they are now no longer useful in serving karma. But still we have choice because we have free will and because of these things, we do this out of individuality.  Some say its an illusion, but I say its a CREATION.  and THAT dear reader is a BIG difference!

So honor the masculine and feminine within.  They bring you bliss.  Its okay, the universe is making love inside you, big deal.....your parents obviously made love in order to make you, so surely some good must come from this love thing.  And a curious thing happens when you can ride the wave of this bliss, all those karmic issues that seemed so pressing aren't so pressing anymore....yet another interesting inverse correlation with karma and kundalini.  Kundalini: The Karma Killer!!!! (now THAT would be a GREAT Baliwood movie...a kind of double headed cobra meets dark mysterious overlord in Godzilla-esque scales as they fight it out over Tokyo or Varanasi).
Of course, anyone who DARES speak of things in such light ways certainly CANT be enlightened, so why listen to me?

Indeed.  Why.

IN the end, through all this, no matter where this all goes, it all ends in love. Its a trip you take that always leads to the same place.  I am sorry.  You are in the city of love.  You wake up, make the journey a different way and there you are; the city of love.  There is no escaping it. City of Love.  And while I am at it, that too would be a great movie title, but without the scale miniatures of city buildings.  This one would be the greatest of romances.

So flip or not flip.  We are all one.  But you do have both inside you.  Remember that.  You can't spell love without BOTH. Well, actually you don't spell love B-O-T-H but I bet in some world you do.... 

Wilhelm Reich

I came across this article the other day by Nina Silver.  I have always been attracted to Reich, but for some  reason, his material on the self has just flowed over me.  I remember reading some of his stuff years ago about sexual repression but it just didn't ring any bells for some reason. Until now.  Its an interesting read in regards to the body armoring and how we feel more Orgone (kundalini, life force) as we loosen that armoring.  It also talks about our built in notion of shame concerning sex.  Oh yes.....this we have some work to do if we are to embrace this thing....which sends some Christians running for the hills because of all the "snake" or "serpent" references!  Oh my!

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The Cosmic Quest      A young woman named Diane recently sought my body-oriented psychotherapy services in order to "become more spiritual." During our first session she told me that she watched her diet, had been meditating for five years, and tried to embody the qualities she felt constituted an enlightened, loving being. Did she ever get angry? I finally asked. No, not if she could help it. It just didn't "feel right." How about terrifically excited? I wanted to know. That was sort of okay, she answered cautiously, but in an effort to avoid "attachment," it was better not to.      Then came the big one. "What about sex?" I asked her.      Her eyes widened. "What do you meaning?" she gasped.      "In other words, how do you feel about sex? Do you let go when you have an orgasm?"  Diane blushed and lowered her eyes. "That's not ... very spiritual. I try not to have 'those feelings,' and sometimes I can't help it, but I do the best I can. If you're a truly spiritual person, you don't get into such lower octave energies."

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     I was disturbed. She wasn't the first client who'd walked through my door expecting instant nirvana if I could only help them exorcise all those emotional demons -- anger, sexual desire, even excitement and joy -- from their system. Like many others treading a "spiritual" path, Diane thought that someone who is uplifted only feels uplifting feelings, and that the energy must only "lift up." It was a stunningly new concept to her that genuine spirituality encompasses all of who we are, not just those parts we've been taught are "nice."
     Sexual desire is one impulse that hasn't been on the "nice" list for quite a while. It is considered lewd, crass and intrusive, a beast to be tamed. When I hear designations like these an alarm rings in my brain, and I know that the person voicing them is really speaking of repression -- their own.
     "Repression" is a Western term. Someone following an Eastern tradition would probably use "transmuted" or "transformed," but the underlying principle is the same. Diane and others like her want to redirect their sexual energy so that it ceases to manifest sexually. But by doing this they don't expand; rather, they become small. They limit who they are in an effort to become spiritually "acceptable." But acceptable to whom? And by what standards? Must our sexual urges be channeled elsewhere in order for us to become enlightened and happy? Or will doing this only make us miserable? Do we instead need to reexamine our attitudes toward sex, and perhaps embrace our sexuality even more?
     A brief summary here of my own experiences with spiritual and sexual concerns might be helpful. Fifteen years ago, as my acceptance of transcendent realities grew, I found myself gliding into deep states of "altered" consciousness (to me they were quite normal) with increasing regularity. I would emerge from these meditations with an intensified perception of the energy fields that surround living things, and of the love that I sensed must underlie the creative force of the universe. I felt no need to call this bliss "God." What was meaningful to me were my feelings of expansion -- in my head, chest, entire body. Reveling immensely in these ecstatic states, I promised myself that I'd overcome any fears of opening.
     My experiences, I later discovered, were somewhat different from those that other people described. They focused solely on what was happening in the upper half of their body, which they called love. I, on the other hand, was acutely aware of -- and welcomed --the charge in my pelvis as well. I knew how awful I felt when I didn't pay attention to my excitement, vulnerability, anger, or pelvic stirrings. With the same pragmatism that had led me to biology and the natural sciences, I was determined to access all of myself, not just the parts that were presumably moral or nice. Finally, possessing a healthy sexual appetite made it impossible for me to adopt any teaching that said that sexuality was wrong or at best irrelevant, that once you evolved into a master you wouldn't need to bother with such base sensations. I pondered why the universal intelligence would torture us with such sensitive sexual apparatus in a responsive physical body if we weren't supposed to feel it or use it in enjoyable ways.
     What some people categorize as "spiritual" (or the "divine"), and what these same people consider "sin" (the earthy or sexual), exist on a continuum. The current throughout this continuum is the universal intelligence or life force, called in various cultures ch'i, kundalini, prana, or the great spirit. This current, which pervades all living things, fuels the celebration of life and self inherent in both sexual vitality and authentic spiritual practices. Since ancient times, priestesses, healers, and shamans have perceived this current or flow as permeating and surrounding the human form, with vortices (called "chakras" in Hindu theory) at major glands. Seekers, today, feeling incomplete or empty in their individual existence, are turning to esoteric teachings to help them reconnect to the life force, the infinite source of power. They recognize that to feel whole -- whether they ascribe this connection prana or to the Goddess -- they need not only the comfort, but the ecstacy, that this union provides.

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The rest of the article can be found in the link for the Nina Silver Article, along with work by Wilhelm Reich.  I think its worth reading.  I am now looking more into his work a little.  He was the inventor of the Orgone Accumulator as well as the Cloud Buster.  Kate Bush wrote a song from the perspective of one of his children called Coud Busting.  For this he was branded something of a quack, but sometimes just because someone is not saying anything you understand does not mean they are off the mark.  In fact if YOU are soooo far off the mark, it could be the words of a sane person could sound like madness to you, right?

Nina Silver Article

I hope its of some interest.  It covers some of the interconnectedness that is a facet of this experience as well as how important it is to do away with all the limiting beliefs about body image, shame, sex as somehow dirty, and all the rest.  Time to put that one to rest!

Nemaste