Monday, September 3, 2012

Defeating the Victim

I recently read a quote that was attributed to Eckhart Tolle which described how life can be as we choose to paint it rather than how it is. I have written about this quite a bit, including a quote by Anais Nin which states we see the world not as it is but as we are.  It is true, but in the moment, we can be overcome by our investment in a feeling or some past hurt or trauma where we slip into an old way of being that is less than healed or truthful about the world and how it is.

Tolle was saying the same thing.  He said something about riding a bus and perhaps in doing so, you feel how horrible it is to be scrunched in there with so many people.  The experience for you winds up being uncomfortable. In truth, though, its just a bus full of people.  You choose to feel a certain way about it. Its experiences like these that can be great teachers if we let them.  They can show us how we are and what we can do to change the world around us and help us create a much happier and more content life for ourselves.  The trick is learning to bring awareness into the moment.

Our karma is like falling asleep.  We fall away from the divine current within and we begin thinking that the universe is not going to take care of us.  We wind up feeling alone.  We wind up feeling at the mercy of elements in the world, or the actions of other people.  Any number of uncertainties crop up and grow in such a medium as this.  And as we feel and think, our own world begins to mirror that reality for us. Even feelings that we are only half invested in.  I had one such feeling that was very much at odds with other beliefs.....and it was interesting how I would get caught up in what I can only describe as a kind of tag team match between these two very different sensibilities.  But you see, I created it.  No one was doing it to me.

In your life you can probably go back to childhood and identify how all the wrong and bad things started for you and point out quite clearly the origin of those troubles in your life.  The reality most often, though, is that the events in early life are in truth the continuation of events from a previous life. Imagine that in each life you leave a piece of baggage that is the sum of all your feelings and misgivings that are less than divine.  This piece of baggage has your soul's name on it and it stays at the gateway between the worlds.  Each time when you are born into a life, that little black satchel is sitting there and you pick it up without ever even knowing it and you carry it until you empty it entirely of its contents.  When you do, you are free from it.  All of its contents resolve back to a peculiar feeling that the divine is not going to help us, will not be there.  This is how karma got started, at least the negative kind.  We turned away from the love that is the Source, the deity, whatever you wish to call it.  By trusting in this source of life, you are able to let go of all fear or anxiety over how things are going to turn out because what you learn is that this being, this vast consciousness loves all of creation, and has been sitting outside your door for the day that you gesture to let it into your life.  It isn't that it does not love you, for it does, but you must also understand that you have been gifted with free will and in so doing, the source cannot force you to see what you yourself are not ready to know, feel, or see.  So there is a lot of waiting going on when it comes to the divine and your own soul.

Until that time, we tend to feel in some way as though we have been shipwrecked here, or that we are fallen, or that we are not good enough.  Maybe we look to our childhood and see how terrible things were and point to that as the reason why things are the way they are. In truth, it goes back to a First Cause as I call it.  If you can trace back to the first cause you will always go back to the one element that started the problem in the first place.  The First Cause is YOU.

The problem with being a victim in life is that it denies our involvement.  The victim very much wants to make others responsible for why things are the way they are.  I know.  I have been there.  I have also, as a result, lived with people who were also in this same energy.  I have siblings and others who have been hung up by this need to point to something, anything, that explains why they feel so shitty about the world. Its a very hard energy to deal with, though, because pretty bad things have happened to many people.  Someone near them was killed, or someone was raped, or someone was dispossessed of their children, or a relationship was ruined because of the actions of someone else.  A co-worker is mean and cruel.  The undeniable truth is that until we can change how we feel about things, we are doomed to repeat them.  They will show up in our lives over and over.  We get defensive when we see horrible acts of barbarism in the world and I know the  tendency we have to want to say just how callous and unfeeling this statement is.  And yet, it is true. Yes, even when children die at the hands of another, yes even when someone is brutally raped.  Even when the worst possible things are done to others like a Holocaust or the wholesale killing of innocents.  What we do not see is the karma. What we also forget is that there is no death. Certainly all of life is sacred, but we are also more than our bodies.  We are in truth immortal.  Even the youngest soul is itself an ancient amongst us who has chosen a given life for a given lesson, even if that lesson is learned by their dying.

I am not saying that people deserve what they get.  I don't. I am not saying that we simply toss up our hands and let karma do what it will.  I don't.  The purpose here is to dissolve this karma and until we do, we remain caught in its web.  The web is made by US.  Even the most horrible events that emerge in your life are there because of something not yet complete in you.

In every single case were I dissolved karma, it was very easy to point to someone else as being responsible.  IN fact, there was some of that going on.  I was not able to get to a place where this karma was entirely dissolved until I began to process of forgiving those who I felt were connected to the event.  What has happened in each and every case was I tended to begin to forgive others, then felt that layer of the karma peel back like an onion only to find another layer.  This was the true layer.  I had to remove the outer layer of what I thought was true in order to get to what really was true, which was that EVERY single time, I have had to forgive myself. Every time. Its been relentless this way.  However, no karma has been released yet that did not involve my returning back to the First Cause.....which was me and my reaction to something that caused me hurt. In every case it resolved back to something very simple.  There may have been deaths or great suffering involved, but this was the consequence of not being able to bring love into my life. Every time I was left in this place where I either begged for forgiveness from the universe or I was able to forgive it myself.  In either case, I felt the healing power that this forgiveness brought. it was always myself that had to be forgiven because the debt always had lain on me even though it seemed as if events were happening all around me and TO me.

Victim energy is hard, real hard.  Its hard because of how much we are unable or unwilling to face up to our own inner fractures.  But its relentless and you cannot make deals with it. You either remain in the victim energy or you entertain the idea that there IS a different way to be.  If you can make that shift in your own mind, you have done the first thing needed to move out of the victim energy.  It means being brave and it means being willing to face what your own involvement was originally that has attracted the events, no matter how hard, into your life.  Until you can do that, the old trauma or hurt remains and you will continue to look outside yourself at the causes for why things are so bad.  Until then, you will be caught in the loop of this recursive energy.  You can even tell yourself intellectually that its due to some First Cause and yet still not resolve it.  You can KNOW but knowledge is itself like a tool in a toolbox. It will only work when you utilize its very essence to do the work that is the deepest and most fundamental form of forgiveness on the planet.  Until then, you will continue to get hooked into situations that will bring up that old unresolved feeling.  Until you make your peace with it, it is your master even though you KNOW you are imprisoned by it.

You are an infinite being underneath all of your seemingly limited and bounded self.  You are more than you presently realize.  You are infinite and you exist in many realities all at once. What you know as you is one petal on a much larger flower.  Every petal on this flower is not forgotten or lost, but is entirely cherished.  We are all part of a larger family of being, and encoded within every single particle of matter is the mark, the cosmic dna of the Creator.  This creator is waiting outside your door waiting to be let in.  This is not the best way to explain it because the deeper truth is that its inside of you, looking out through your eyes all just need to wake up to this fact.  Until then, you may remain caught up in what so many call the illusion of this world with all of its suffering.

The only good way forward is defeating this little victim in you.  To do this does not mean killing it or driving a stake into its heart.  It merely means forgiving it, letting it go in favor of a much better feeling.  When I feel into the field that is the Collective of human kind I see how we have had precious little of this sense about ourselves.  It emerges from time to time in various people and is present in all of us and can emerge at certain important moments when we become aware of it.  We have such a backlog of old dysfunctional behavior that we almost don't know a better way to be.  Not knowing that this different path even exists, we tend to go with the familiar, which is the dysfunction, and the cycle continues as it has for ages.

A lot of what we need is tied to learning to bring in those qualities that are inherent in the archetype of the Goddess.  Even though we each have an alignment in each life along certain lines in regards to our own sexual identity, we nonetheless are beings that have a dual current running in us that is both masculine and feminine.  In every aspect of life we can see how it manifests.  We see it in the yin/yang (positive negative) charges of ions, in how the two hemispheres of the brain mirror these two qualities of consciousness.  It is in us as a kind of birth right and we can choose to bring certain aspects of those two currents into our own awareness at any given moment.  The great power of the feminine is in her ability to absorb pain and sorrow and diffuse it and transmute it into something creative. Her great power is to take and transform. You don't always even need to know how it works because there are scales of awareness that are akin to gods and goddesses all around you and connected to you that have the power to heal and protect you if you simply let them.  These aspects are connected to who you are.  You are infinite and there are aspects of you that reside at higher ranges that are like your divine parents who are entirely capable of taking away any hurt or pain even if you yourself do not know how to.  It only takes surrender and the consideration in your mind that this may in fact be so.  Once your awareness makes this connection, the energy from your intent will flow more easily to its conclusion.  It is only a matter of time when your own creative self finds a way that it can learn to simply surrender and let go and seek forgiveness.  The great thing is that once you can reach this deeper place beneath all the layers of he-said/she-said kind of things, you can be completely free from the burden that you had only moments before held so strongly to as a kind of badge of honor or some wound that shows how we had fought some brave battle.  In truth, the only battle we win is the one that we forgive and let go.  It is in this way that the path to the divine in us is a simple one, uncomplicated, perhaps too simple for our egos that want to make things more than they are.

So come home now.  The world is asking you, moving you, seeking you.  Breathe into your essential nature.  Feel into it and decide to feel differently.  Let go the hurt. Let it be a great burden so heavy that you have no other option but to let it slip from your grasp.  I know it can be hard.  Ego can make it harder.  But ego has only been designed to help identify things for us, but if we over identify, we can miss the more subtle truths of our infinite selves.  The love is waiting for you, and you can change the story in a moment when you are ready.  Until then, someone is waiting for you to come around the one undeniable truth in our world.....

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