The Joke

As I stand in this place
I feel the forgotten ages slip between my fingers
like pearls on a silken necklace
like stars in a sky counted before breakfast
before sunrise
as I walk
smiling into the dawn.

But you brought this desiring into me
you who made me
were you seeking to play a joke on me?
Would you give me the world
yet hold it from my lips?
Would you give me knowing
only to keep its reality from my life?

What kind of joke are you trying to play on me?

As the wheel of fortune spins
as a fool moves through his many seasons
the inner self moves forward
and speaks.
I know his voice.
Its not imagined
but known
implicit in the moment.
But why must this all work this way?
What exactly have I done to be so deserving of this?

All of us
suffering on our way to the promised land
just trying to get through this world
swallowing hard
taking all of the gall
just to get to a place where we can dream of honey
but not truly know it
as expressed in this realm.
I am not interested in having heaven slip between my fingers.
I am here to bring heaven to earth.
I was born to walk this realm
countless lives I walked
of not having
alone
even though I was surrounded
by a sea of surging humanity.
And now it is time to bring this to earth
but honestly
there must be something I am missing.
Like some great joke
you have lain all of this before me.
I  wonder over its purpose.

The world
every soul within it
hungers for this love
and yet this love is never enough.
Person by person
awakened
gentled
then brought into the flame
which burns to our marrow.
How can we be
so changed?
How can thou joke in such a way?
You allow yourself to be infinitely divided
yet seek to remain One
and all the while
your children hunger for the only thing they have ever wanted
and this itself
is not enough.
Feed your children.
Feed your progeny.

Such tricks
jokes
played.
Surely I must be missing something.
Surely I missed the punch line.
Sad that it has to be a punch.
Not a gentle prod
or a touch point.
A punch.
Here is mud in your eye!