Saturday, April 16, 2011

The Path

The road I have walked
through it
I looked for love
not to find it
it was not a love I could find
in another.

That was the hitch in my soul.
So now
after thousands of lifetimes
of walking this road
looking for Her
I must see her within me
for before I can honor her outwardly
I must honor her inwardly.

I must stop looking
and searching

I must go
and decide
to give up all the hurt and pain
that has swirled around never finding Her
to caress my woundedness
to speak to me in soft words
telling me I have found my home...

Yet I have not.

I must find Her
and the rest remains karmicaly bounded
ready to be taken off like a shoe
but beckoning
vibrant with the force that it seeks
so that it may be undone
so I am free
and easy within myself.

We yearn for that which is unresolved
and in reaching a place where we can forgive it
do we heal.
The energy of the universe fills us clearer
more vibrant.


Betsy said...

Wanting to stop looking outwardly
is new sophisticated desire of ego
ego now adopts mantle of being the one
who is no longer looking outward.

All desires become a mental mind game
a way to behave in the world,
whose descision and rules themselves
keep ego operating in subtler ways
keeping one far away from what
one truly desires.

There is only one way to get to
the heart of the matter
and that is to stop trying to do anything at all.
you must let go of all ideas.
you must realize you can never figure it out
You must give up all trying and methods totally.
you must let go of everything.
you must get very very very quiet (that is not doing anything).
So quiet there is not longer any mind voice,
not a squeek at all, a silent as the dark of night,
with no echo, with no mirror, with nothing to
know you are alive.
you see the echo of the mind voice (the mirror)
gives you the feeling you are alive, it always
chimes in, it's very hard to shut it down,
it is very hard to go fully quiet. Because you
equate this voice with 'me', and when there is no sense of 'me'
it feels like you are dying. This is the main fear we have,
and why we can't let go of all our mirroring activities.
when you start to go quiet it will feel like
you are losing yourself, and you will start chattering again.

Now here is the secret path to get there
You only need to practise the skill to
totally forget about yourself, to go completely
silent in mind, to shut up the constant non-stop chatter.
when you are getting good at it, your meditation
will go deeper, you will start to feel like you're
falling asleep, you allow it, then all of a sudden
it will be like you pop into another world.
you have made it through the transition, as the observer,
and that will tell you everything.
once you find that 'sweet spot of home' (the her you're looking for)
then you just get better at going back to it,
which of course will be all you want to do.


Him said...

Thank you for your willingness to share your perspective, Betsy. Ultimately, I feel, desire is always present even in the most refined states because our very presence here was itself an act of creation, a desire to make more of itself which is what consciousness does constantly (in a relative way, though, it does not strike us as desire because its so different to our native state of awareness in the physical). I do think that this sea of boundlessness is important, this part we feel when quiet. I however don't feel it ends there, but is the beginning of knitting two wolds together into a new fusion. The more we heal, the more we refine, the more our consciousness is freed up to become channels for this divine awareness, or higher self, so little wonder that kundalini can be so useful in helping to remove those things that do not facilitate an emergence of our Essential Self. We have been taught that ego should be subsumed, yet ego itself was created s part of a dynamic whole for the purpose of being to navigate in a world of duality. Without it, I would be feeling you stubbing your toe and a billion other things. Being able to continue the dialog helps us I think to understand things about ourselves. Being able to consider that there is a better way that has not yet been conceived is another aspect in this unfolding sense of self. In the end, though, its all about love. Everything else is subordinate to that for me. Again, I thank you for your feedback. The "she" is that part of nonduality which expresses itself as the other half of the masculine feminine energetic in all things. By healing that part in ourselves first, we can bring to our relationships something not based on a deficit but a benefit.

This link helps in a small way to begin to touch on some issues that have been key in my experience: