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Sunday, November 25, 2012

The Love Level

You enter the world without an expectation of what love is.  No divisions.  Perfect.  A clean slate.  But.  Then love begins to be identified as being associated with certain people.  Love becomes a thing.  A thing you associate with people and things.  A chink in the armor grows and here the karma flows.  Perhaps it is made to do just that; to let in the secrets of the past, the hidden things that must be dealt with if we are ever going to get this thing right.

As long as love is for someone, it is something coming from our own set of expectations, and these will always be limited.  Just is.  So love is limited.  Since it is coming from us, it is also colored by our own projections, what we believe in our limited way what we think it is or can be.  We are then looking to another to fill the void.  We inch closer to something great and terrible.  We inch toward the end of the road where love is FOR something.  It isn’t about anything though. We are not a void.  This is the terrible lie we have told ourselves and we utterly believe it.  It seems that love is for or about something (it HAS to be, right?  Isn’t that what love IS?) , but it is a current so vast and unstoppable that it flows through all our kinks and contortions.  It just is.  It flushes all the dross along with it so we think it is ours.  It is the universe.  AND it is us.  It is way more than what we think it is, and it is an “it” that is not outside of us but is the very stuff of our souls. We were stamped by it, marked by its presence, made to recognize it when it comes like the thief that steals our clothing in the night, which makes us utterly naked to ourselves. It steals away our shame and shows us that all this piety and purity is a false-sense that we have clothed ourselves with.  Divine love first makes wrecks of us in truth, until we get back on our feet and begin following a different star.

We believed in the rigid intoning of long since dead priests and monks and mendicants because we told ourselves we did not know ourselves.  We needed a professional to get us there, and yet those professionals were the most lost of all souls because they believed they knew only made their conceptual corridors all the more rigid. And so you have to be careful even with me when I tell you what it is….because in truth it is only something you can know directly, but when you have gotten it, it transforms you from caterpillar to butterfly.  Until that happens, it makes a wreck of you.  What seemed a process of demolition was in truth the unbending character of love as a force.  It will not apologize to you or soothe you.  It will come into your life and it will wash away everything that does not belong to your soul that is not serving knowing ‘it.”  And this isn’t even done because it wants to get rid of all the dross that is not necessary in your life.  It does it the same way that the wind will knock limbs out of trees.  It didn’t do it out of spite or even intention.  It did it because of what it is and has always been.  And when you recognize this, then you can submit yourself for such cleansing and realize it is just what you need to do to more properly align to it and realize that where you align and feel it like a power like no other are the parts of you that are moving in harmony with it.  What we mistake it for is how we choose to express it.  Yes it makes us kind.  Yes it makes us want to be generous and considerate.  But you see, it is more than how it makes us respond.  It is a sentient force somehow….or SEEMS so, and perhaps it is only the force of the blood coursing through the veins of God/dess and we, like tiny cells somewhere in the kidney or skin take it to be some great presence that we want to idolize and personify.  It is a great mystery. Like the wind. We cannot see it, but we can feel it, and in feeling it, we can learn how to become it….and perhaps harness it.  But in harnessing it, we get a by-product don’t we?  And that is fine, perfect, wonderful to have this by-product, but for now I am pointing to the source.

And then it is felt.  It is this incredible surge of energy so strong it knocks you flat.  It makes you grow nauseous.  Not because it is sickening, but because it is stronger than anything you have ever felt, and your physical body has a little trouble translating the etheric energetic flow now moving through you straight from the center of the cosmic universe (think of how aware we are now of the great central sun of our own milky way galaxy right now as our solar system dips into a place where we are out of a dust cloud and receiving more direct radiation from the center of the galaxy—-it is warming the entire solar system up as the ice caps on Mars are now all gone and the earth and Neptune and Saturn all show definitive signs of warming…it is like that….this force flowing from the center of SOMETHING ineffable and mysterious and great).  And as you flow and loosen the kinks within, it only grows stronger.  It is coming out of you.  Not because of anything happening; simply because of what you are. You are now no longer resisting it, no longer keeping your finger in the dyke to keep back the rush of its waters (which would surely wash away all of your carefully constructed life….which is perhaps the point….yet we resist without even knowing it)  You are touching on the infinite within and it is waking up inside of you. It is so undivided your mind simply cannot make sense of it.  You really ought not do that.  Let it be.  Watch it like a cascading river in front of you.  It is a torrent that simply must be.  For as long as your mind will let you, let it be just this.  It seems to WANT to be here like this….but this is just my own observation….it may not even care…it may be so utterly unconditional that this is beside the point.

Then, learn to harness it in your highest. Not the easiest thing to do.  It is a hard task master because it has NO side.  It simply IS.  It takes no side.  This is hard for our delicate egos to deal with.  And yet, it is what it is.  It could not be what it is so perfectly if it were divided out in the way we’d like to make it.  So you learn that this is like the tail of a very powerful tiger straight from the multiverse.  You can move with it, or you can get dragged along. Eventually you learn to ride it and let it take you where something still larger seems to be needing to go.  You look at the wreck of a past life and you leave it behind.  Its sheer force bids you to forget; do not even bother picking up the wreckage because it would only remind you of that old world where you were so perfectly perched and so utterly dead to yourself and the rest of the world.  You only know this AFTER it flows through you and changes you because it is unbelievable what THIS will do to you.  It seems big, and it is, but it is also very small.  It is the mustard seed.  It is bringing heaven to earth. Just by letting it flow, you are doing this.  You are changing the terms of engagement here on the planet, and it is the most goddamned awesome power and no force in the world is going to stop it because it is flowing through YOU and YOU are sovereign now.  You are your own freed soul.  Lifting above the mists, above the clouds, you see something for the first time with the eyes of your heart that tells you that there is a different way. It bids you not to be afraid of joy and bliss and pleasure. Forget those people who say those who seek pleasure are weak.  Those are lost hard souls.

Our very nature is to be bliss.  We forgot that in the Garden.  We ran from the Source of bliss and are only now returning in great numbers. You then wind up seeking forgiveness for all your efforts at trying to control it or fit it into your conceptions of what it is.  Because it was like water, it naturally filled your life to the extent that you let it.  But that wasn’t all that it was or is. he more you let go, the more it can show you what it is, and the more you let it be, the more you feel it.  In feeling this, the more it fills your life no through kinks but in greater flows.  This will not satisfy everyone you meet.  Love becomes like this wild thing that is part of everything and we are used to partitioning it off and saying this is for Lucy, this part is for Tom, and this is for my car……because I love my car.  Or money.  Or sunsets.  But it is just flowing as it always has.  When you can let it be like that, it will do something remarkable.  Then when you can let it flow and BE in you, its wildness and power can be felt less as for something as what it always has been.  If you can let it flow in your life, then the fountain will never lessen.  You will have become it.  A living reflection of its mighty power.  It has the ability to utterly change you.  And make you into love.

Its not easy talking about this because it seems to almost trivialize it as well as make it seem terribly ambiguous.  It just can’t be described better than it can be experienced.  Yes it sparks inspiration. Yes it drives creativity to new heights.  Yes it drives greater love that fills lives.  It transforms lives, mostly your own.  After a while, it just seems impossible to even explain.  Just come to the edge and slip quiet into the water at night and swim its deep currents.  Once there, you will never wish to get out as our voices rise into the stars at night and our movement merges into one greater movement that shows us that home was always within. Even as we journey there together.

2 comments:

em777 said...

I breathe a sigh of relief and I am encouraged and excited to read the words of another who is living IT. Thank you.

Him said...

You are very welcome, em777. Blessings to you on your fabulous journey!