Love

We speak of love.....it is this many faceted thing....love for a life, a car, or a carnival ride....love for a subject, a hobby, a passion in life and then...

The love of others.  Our children, our spouse, wives and husbands, significant others, lovers, friends, our family ancient and newly minted.  Each, a different love we experience and feel.

Spreading out before these loves is a force beyond, difficult sometimes to capture, sometimes hard to even feel, but that exists in forms that are more like forces of nature.....higher dimensional expressions of love as this love floods through blood and vein.  This is not some abstraction, it is the fruit hanging on the far limbs that are often missed.  It is not some vague nothingness, but a great something that has the power to change you.  But it can SEEM like an ambiguous abstraction to those who have not known it or felt it.  It can lead to misunderstanding, illusion......as these things have always have since understanding it perfectly is so necessary for something that goes beyond mere myth-making as we, humans, have want to do.

This love is the same love I was directed to to write about in my book, events that happened that were unbelievable in how they unfolded....one of which involved a voice inside my head urging me to go to the "nearest body of water." What unfolded was a three-part synchronistic event that led me to a book that explained the issue I was having trouble explaining perfectly.  It is in the book.

And this love is in you, and will flow through you, as if a voice from another world just beyond your reach....limited, you thought love was FOR something.  This love IS something....a living presence that sets up shop, broadens awareness and can, if you make yourself utterly available, into a different person.....no, not different....but redeemed.

Free.  Free from belief, from dogma, from agendas, from need, want, and from what once imprisoned you, which was that love was FOR something....anything.  The fountain goes from gushing with a leak to healing the leak and is now overflowing.  And how is this possible?  Forgiveness.  But forgiveness actually comes TO yourself as the chief way of actually healing the hurt from the past.  Tired?  Had enough beating yourself I over the whipping post?  How many lashes do you think your enemies deserve?  What hurt do you think this is doing to you?  We most often miss the harm we do to ourselves when our anger, rage, jealousy, or loss moves us to lash out.....and might I say, this is not love but a shadowed land of our own making.

This love, it is the great sky over us all.  You cannot know it until you let it seep down into your very bones.  How life hanging it is, how it continues to change and stir us.  Healing the pain we have carried for so long is a necessity if our own awareness is to accelerate and expand.  This returns us to smile places....places of peace, simple pleasures, to our own joy and our own....love.  Just FEELING this is so important.....and yet, so many don't know it is there.  But it is.

Just saying it could make it happen.  Great things await!  Ask yourself what remains for you to know, then wait by the waters of your intuition, unexpectant of what the answer might be, and see.  Surprises await!

The Great Tuning Fork

When I was younger and I began seeing auras, it made me realize in a very tangible way that we are all energy; our bodies, composed of this seemingly coarse matter was energy vibrating at a  certain frequency.  Different types of matter has different densities.  Different things have a different vibration, such as light and sound; all vibration.  We live in a sea of All Energy. All kinds of energy moving at different frequencies, and yet, there is this sense that I have and that many others seem to have, too, which is that "behind" all of this or resting "within" all of this energy is a core energy source or force.  We have all kinds of names, and for years and years every name I heard seemed to fall short of really explaining it.  What I realize is that any name IS going to fall short of the grandeur of this living presence in all things.  So anything will seem mundane or silly almost.  Bearded man up in the clouds?  Silly!  Buxom Lady, Mother to all living in the springs and oceans?  Silly!  And yet, even as we say that we can dream such images into being and experience them as virtually as any vivid dream or vision.  This is so because everything is a creation, everything IS creative energy.  It isn't nothing means anything, it means that anything can mean anything you need or want.  Understand how this deeper level creativity works and you can find yourself living a much less effortful life.  (yes-I just made that word up...)

The Gods and Goddesses are reflections of what we are able to realize or know. Its a little funny that for some a God has meant a beaded guy up in the clouds.  It shows that we have pretty well excluded the feminine in ourselves and in our deity.  Well, all of that is changing. A delicate vibration of bliss is coming back to us as we reach the End Times.  Set your hair on fire chillens, cause the seals are about to be undone.  Seven of them; right along with the seven chakras making up the pranamayakosha or light body.  The End Times means that we are coming to the end of the old way and we are now seeing the New Way.  And I am here to tell you that.  Didn't you know?   That, and the fact that by being energy we all have our effect on the world around us....and that the core of all things can have its own effect on YOU?  Well  sit back and let me tell you a story......

This great presence in all things I will boldly say is like a tuning fork.  Its vibration is so pure, so incredibly refined.....it is like observing a master at work.  I understand how those who can pause to see the incredible masterwork that exists all through creation would feel awed and become worshipful of this presence.  I will tell you though that there is nothing about this presence that has ever once demanded that I go down on one knee.  I think this has to do with our own limited conception of what a deity is, and what a deity was for us thousands of years ago may have been more like observing a Lord or ruler of some kind. I can tell you that this being seems to observe and flow through all things lovingly more than in any egoistic way.  It wants us to be happy and to find our own freedom in expression and in fulfillment....and just as it has created so much, it is itself curious to see what WE will create.  And what WILL we create?

Within this Presence lies a central vibration that is pure love.  I can't even begin to tell you how incredible this thing is.  I don't even know why I am using all this time telling you about it when I could be focused on the bliss that it confers.  But here I am, explaining that there is something truly remarkable inside of you.  It is a piece of the divine and that slip of divine has the capacity to vibrate at the same vibration as the central force in all things.  This vibration is love.  This love, however, may be unlike anything you have thus far experienced.  It is not something that you feel FOR something, it is a force that IS everything.  It is kind of awesome that way.  Truly.  But in order to embody it, you need to become aware of it. Can I help you to recall this? 

When the sages speak of "self realization" they aren't talking about decades worth of work and yoga postures, they are talking about a simple act of recalling who we are deeper down. We are like amnesiacs who have been shipwrecked on this planet and we wake up one day to realize we are travellers from a distant land who are all artists of one kind or another.  As our memories unfold and sharpen, we realize we have all of these remarkable abilities.  Some amongst us say we are here to be punished.  These people, those are the ones who have not fully remembered, because were they to remember fully, they would become speechless and just stand gape-mouthed at the realization of just what we are.  How do I jog your memory?  All you have to do is to look inside very quietly and begin to FEEL your energy.  When you FEEL your energy, you feel it from one central place within the core of your awareness.  In this place, in this stillness, stop taking your own energy for granted.  Ask yourself what IS this energy that is you?  FEEL that energy and center on it with your attention. You do not need anything more than this except that.  The quieter you can become, the more still you can be, the better.  This is not easy, so by gently bringing your busy mind back into a center of focus each time with becoming quiet and centered on feeling your own core of energy, you can slowly begin to learn to develop a practice of developing a capacity to rest within this energy in a way that can lead to a revolution in memory.  Breathing has in the past been connected to this process since breathing inward also helps to move energy in your body.  If it helps, breathing in a deep and steady way, much like how you breathe just before you fall asleep, is the perfect way to breathe for recalling your soul self.  You can also bring great relaxation by pressing one nostril closed and breathing in and out four times each and then changing to the other nostril. You can do this as many times as you need in order to drift into a deeply relaxed state.  You can also press your hands together as in prayer and then focus on the place where the hands meet.  The reason why this method is so powerful is because the hands when brought together in prayer actually complete a circuit in the body that helps build and accumulate energy.  By placing your attention on the place where the hands meet, you are activating the quantum potential within the energy to vault yourself into a new form of awareness.  This form of awareness is one that moves you from object-based awareness to what I would call field-based awareness.  It is the basis for a method I call Divine Energetics which uses the power of the brain and body to accumulate the type of energy that can lead to awakening and to greater awareness.  It is actually as simple as learning how to shift from an "I" object-based form of awareness and reasoning to one that is not based in objects but fields, waves, of awareness.  It is in the wave or field (the forest instead of the trees) that the awakening experience awaits you.  Having said that, being ready by working through the more thorny issues of your life can be a big help to you because once awakening comes small things are greatly magnified.  It is my sense, though, that sometimes the only real way to work through our small things and big things is by having them magnified by the presence of awakening or kundalini.  It is what it does; it helps us to see even the most minute grain of sand in order that we can cast it aside from the great turning of the wheels within us so that it does not scratch or harm or hurt our very delicate inner workings.

Our energy can serve as a tuning fork.  Just as the central sun or light or presence serves as a tuning fork for us, we too also attune others whether we know it or not.  The more receptive or open we are to this attunement, the more likely it is to happen.

Long before I ever had my awakening but a few months into seeing auras, I was sitting with one of my room mates as we spoke.  I was talking about something, I forget what exactly, but I noticed that I was feeling what I know now to be my own core energy.  This energy is strong.....its not a flowing kind of energy....it certainly wasn't at the time.  It is like I am most often; animated, intense and with a brilliant kind of flash to it.  That same year I had a memory from a past life where I was a native American man who had a vision that had Thunder Beings in it.  Like a bolt of lightening; that was what it was like. I had felt this emerge over  the years.  It was in some ways what I thought to be a very masculine kind of energy.  As it turned out that the Sky was most often polarized towards the masculine in native imagery and belief while the earth was considered the feminine polarity.  Certainly in the vision I was being shown an archetypal image that served to merge the sky with earth in a cleansing that I was told would happen when I was reborn as a new person.  The vision from that past life was a prophecy about the life I am leading now.  "You will bear a power to the earth that will be cleansing...."  How could I have known that kundalini would do this?  Certainly kundalini was a cleansing force, yes, and perhaps, then I was here to help in the cleansing of the earth....which is within us just as we are within it. By learning to cleanse ourselves, would be manage to cleanse the earth?  It turned out that there were all kinds of prophecies about this Day of Cleansing from the Navajo, Hopi, Lakota, Ojibwe, and more.  All agree that we are in the Day of Cleansing period and those who teach about it tend to do so in a way that is dynamic; we are not separate from the effects that are happening before us.  The junk on the face of the earth is the junk in our own minds. CLean the mind and heart and the world can itself also begin to heal.  When my vibration changes, it becomes easier for you to change.  It is possible to change the world this way, you see.  We just need enough people here to effect this change.  From all accounts, I'd say that it is happening.  But on this day, I was talking to my room mate and feeling this energy.  As I spoke to him, I explained what I saw in his aura.  I could feel myself feeling this vibration of energy very strong.  I would later think of it as my tuning fork effect.  As I spoke to him, he began to look at me funny.  I asked him what was up and he explained that he saw a light all around me.  To test to make sure my room mate wasn't pulling my leg I asked him to do something that I knew meant nothing to him but that would help me to gauge if he was actually seeing auras. I asked him to take off his glasses.  Now to understand this, you need to realize that John wore these coke bottle glasses.  The poor soul had such poor eyesight that his eyes looked like big fish eyes staring back at you through those thick panes of plastic.  When John took off his glasses, he was blind.  But instead of going blurry, John's face grew even more amazed.  He said "the light!  It is so bright!"  It was then that I knew that John was indeed "seeing" auras.

Over the years I would find that when I was feeling my own inner core energy and reading energy that people had a habit of beginning, right then and there, to see auras.  My intuitive sense has been that all that has ever really happened is that by feeling my own energy in the way that I do, the people who were receptive enough, were able to tune into the same frequency I was on and it opened the sense up within them as well.  This phenomenon has happened about five times and I often can feel when someone else around me is about ready to activate this sense in themselves.  I can sense a similar vibrational frequency.

It turns out that Reiki is a healing modality that does something similar.  At least this is the read I get from it.  Last week I had my first attunement and what I experienced was how practicioners could help conduct universal and soul energy through my system in a way that was beneficial for my own healing.  By shifting my vibration it helped to move old energy blocks in my body that had been there for a very long time.  By doing this I was better able to feel my "own" energy which is itself like being a fountain for a source of energy that is the universe.  The more I do this, the closer I get, I achieve a divine alignment and it is in this divine alignment that I feel peace and joy and bliss while working on what remains for me to heal in my own energy body.  That we manage to hold so hard onto these old hurts and blockages is testament to how our own individuality becomes accustomed to a less than marvelous way of being and feeling.

Its weird.  It really is.  And yet, we all do this.  All of us.  Slowly and sometimes quickly, we are moved to the center of some great wheel.....to an axial point in our awareness where so much just falls away.  It is like a cosmic seduction.  I feel my soul grow naked under the great vibratory force that is this divine love.  I find I just don't care anymore.....and in not caring, I lose my fear over what I am afraid might lie in the center of my soul.  Some dark pit or some glitch or something less than perfect, less than lovable, less than beautiful.  And yet, this seductive force teased me out of my shadows, out of the old feeling of not being good enough or strong enough or bold or smart enough or handsome or any of the rest.  It floods me with such incredible love that I just melt.

I am returned to a baseline vibration.....to a primordial state.....and its not harps and angels.  Its fiery flowers bursting open with passion and stars exploding into new worlds in the night.  It is the grinding force of gravity hending space and the passionate love that bears a moon to its planet.  It is the force that brings blood to churn in the heart, the nutrients to flow from root to leaf, of a boundless frequency that pervades all and makes all as it changes from one thing to another and is all things all at once.  It is a dance around the maypole, it is a passionate kiss by the fire.  It is a love of great art and science and devotion to all things great and hopeful.  It is the incredible reach and trembling grasp of our kind as we seek to break the bonds of one cradle to recognize the bonds of a still larger one ahead of us.  All of this could be some remarkable miracle or a mundane blurp of accident and for those where it is all mere accident, there is a kind of pall of death that comes over the soul.
So what do you want?  Do you want to follow rules laid out ahead of you or are you willing to realize that its all in your to know the infinite realm that spreads out before all of us?  In touching this wonder of wonders, doesn't it just seem such a waste that humans would spend time making war and enriching themselves when there is more than enough for everyone here and that we could be doing such incredible things instead of merely seeking advantage.  Isn't it time for the Goddess within each of us, the part that sees the larger good for all, to awaken collectively so that we might all be softened by this part of us that we shoved under the rug so long ago?  Isn't it time for love to reign in heaven, the kind of love where God must close the door so he might be with his Beloved Goddess?  And isn't it time that we allowed ourselves to see our Gods and Goddesses as loving and affectionate instead of angry and vengeful?  Aren't the Gods and Goddesses our own projections anyway?  And in so being, might we not ourselves be able to remake our world in a finer sort of vibration where we become not the lost children of an angry father-god but the children of a happy and loving family of father/mother?  Because, I have to point out, that  it is in this vibration that their bliss is known.  Isn't the bliss of this experience equal to the touch of the higher forces reaching one into the other for completion.....and isn't this the same thing that happens to us as we ourselves awaken, which is that we merge that which is lacking in us, most often our opposites, in order to know bliss and love and joy and all the rest?  Isn't this what we seek the beloved for?  Isn't this really  just the way to clothe and describe a great mystery where there is no father, there is no mother, but there is a wondrous reality that is entirely beyond words even though we do seek to put it all to words?  Touch the universal force and you shall know the product of their love, their union, their hearts as vast forces that dream worlds into being.  I know that this may all sound like utter madness to you, but in the realm of the spirit, things are not always anchored to objects the way they are in the physical and this experience is very much bringing the heaven to earth. It is.  It is the Kingdom.  Here. So if that sounds crazy, what can I say?

All of this may all sound grandiose to you.  It is.  I admit it.  But so is the force that turns at the core of all things.  In fact, it is just beyond all description.  We, so little, like ants really, we are just feeling the far edge of its wonder.  What will happen when we learn to bite fully into it and know it rich flavor and juiciness?  And when, really, are you going to stop your inner struggle and just let go of that river bank and trust that the river shall take you to a still greater sea?  There is a tuning fork inside of you and you need only find it.  Then let yourself feel it.  In feeling your energy, you can know the wonder that is the universe.  People seek this for lifetimes.  I ti s here now on the planet in a way it has not been in many many generations.  By saying yes to it in your heart, you will say yes to a great love that is what you are and that is the universe.

The Love Level

You enter the world without an expectation of what love is.  No divisions.  Perfect.  A clean slate.  But.  Then love begins to be identified as being associated with certain people.  Love becomes a thing.  A thing you associate with people and things.  A chink in the armor grows and here the karma flows.  Perhaps it is made to do just that; to let in the secrets of the past, the hidden things that must be dealt with if we are ever going to get this thing right.

As long as love is for someone, it is something coming from our own set of expectations, and these will always be limited.  Just is.  So love is limited.  Since it is coming from us, it is also colored by our own projections, what we believe in our limited way what we think it is or can be.  We are then looking to another to fill the void.  We inch closer to something great and terrible.  We inch toward the end of the road where love is FOR something.  It isn’t about anything though. We are not a void.  This is the terrible lie we have told ourselves and we utterly believe it.  It seems that love is for or about something (it HAS to be, right?  Isn’t that what love IS?) , but it is a current so vast and unstoppable that it flows through all our kinks and contortions.  It just is.  It flushes all the dross along with it so we think it is ours.  It is the universe.  AND it is us.  It is way more than what we think it is, and it is an “it” that is not outside of us but is the very stuff of our souls. We were stamped by it, marked by its presence, made to recognize it when it comes like the thief that steals our clothing in the night, which makes us utterly naked to ourselves. It steals away our shame and shows us that all this piety and purity is a false-sense that we have clothed ourselves with.  Divine love first makes wrecks of us in truth, until we get back on our feet and begin following a different star.

We believed in the rigid intoning of long since dead priests and monks and mendicants because we told ourselves we did not know ourselves.  We needed a professional to get us there, and yet those professionals were the most lost of all souls because they believed they knew only made their conceptual corridors all the more rigid. And so you have to be careful even with me when I tell you what it is….because in truth it is only something you can know directly, but when you have gotten it, it transforms you from caterpillar to butterfly.  Until that happens, it makes a wreck of you.  What seemed a process of demolition was in truth the unbending character of love as a force.  It will not apologize to you or soothe you.  It will come into your life and it will wash away everything that does not belong to your soul that is not serving knowing ‘it.”  And this isn’t even done because it wants to get rid of all the dross that is not necessary in your life.  It does it the same way that the wind will knock limbs out of trees.  It didn’t do it out of spite or even intention.  It did it because of what it is and has always been.  And when you recognize this, then you can submit yourself for such cleansing and realize it is just what you need to do to more properly align to it and realize that where you align and feel it like a power like no other are the parts of you that are moving in harmony with it.  What we mistake it for is how we choose to express it.  Yes it makes us kind.  Yes it makes us want to be generous and considerate.  But you see, it is more than how it makes us respond.  It is a sentient force somehow….or SEEMS so, and perhaps it is only the force of the blood coursing through the veins of God/dess and we, like tiny cells somewhere in the kidney or skin take it to be some great presence that we want to idolize and personify.  It is a great mystery. Like the wind. We cannot see it, but we can feel it, and in feeling it, we can learn how to become it….and perhaps harness it.  But in harnessing it, we get a by-product don’t we?  And that is fine, perfect, wonderful to have this by-product, but for now I am pointing to the source.

And then it is felt.  It is this incredible surge of energy so strong it knocks you flat.  It makes you grow nauseous.  Not because it is sickening, but because it is stronger than anything you have ever felt, and your physical body has a little trouble translating the etheric energetic flow now moving through you straight from the center of the cosmic universe (think of how aware we are now of the great central sun of our own milky way galaxy right now as our solar system dips into a place where we are out of a dust cloud and receiving more direct radiation from the center of the galaxy—-it is warming the entire solar system up as the ice caps on Mars are now all gone and the earth and Neptune and Saturn all show definitive signs of warming…it is like that….this force flowing from the center of SOMETHING ineffable and mysterious and great).  And as you flow and loosen the kinks within, it only grows stronger.  It is coming out of you.  Not because of anything happening; simply because of what you are. You are now no longer resisting it, no longer keeping your finger in the dyke to keep back the rush of its waters (which would surely wash away all of your carefully constructed life….which is perhaps the point….yet we resist without even knowing it)  You are touching on the infinite within and it is waking up inside of you. It is so undivided your mind simply cannot make sense of it.  You really ought not do that.  Let it be.  Watch it like a cascading river in front of you.  It is a torrent that simply must be.  For as long as your mind will let you, let it be just this.  It seems to WANT to be here like this….but this is just my own observation….it may not even care…it may be so utterly unconditional that this is beside the point.

Then, learn to harness it in your highest. Not the easiest thing to do.  It is a hard task master because it has NO side.  It simply IS.  It takes no side.  This is hard for our delicate egos to deal with.  And yet, it is what it is.  It could not be what it is so perfectly if it were divided out in the way we’d like to make it.  So you learn that this is like the tail of a very powerful tiger straight from the multiverse.  You can move with it, or you can get dragged along. Eventually you learn to ride it and let it take you where something still larger seems to be needing to go.  You look at the wreck of a past life and you leave it behind.  Its sheer force bids you to forget; do not even bother picking up the wreckage because it would only remind you of that old world where you were so perfectly perched and so utterly dead to yourself and the rest of the world.  You only know this AFTER it flows through you and changes you because it is unbelievable what THIS will do to you.  It seems big, and it is, but it is also very small.  It is the mustard seed.  It is bringing heaven to earth. Just by letting it flow, you are doing this.  You are changing the terms of engagement here on the planet, and it is the most goddamned awesome power and no force in the world is going to stop it because it is flowing through YOU and YOU are sovereign now.  You are your own freed soul.  Lifting above the mists, above the clouds, you see something for the first time with the eyes of your heart that tells you that there is a different way. It bids you not to be afraid of joy and bliss and pleasure. Forget those people who say those who seek pleasure are weak.  Those are lost hard souls.

Our very nature is to be bliss.  We forgot that in the Garden.  We ran from the Source of bliss and are only now returning in great numbers. You then wind up seeking forgiveness for all your efforts at trying to control it or fit it into your conceptions of what it is.  Because it was like water, it naturally filled your life to the extent that you let it.  But that wasn’t all that it was or is. he more you let go, the more it can show you what it is, and the more you let it be, the more you feel it.  In feeling this, the more it fills your life no through kinks but in greater flows.  This will not satisfy everyone you meet.  Love becomes like this wild thing that is part of everything and we are used to partitioning it off and saying this is for Lucy, this part is for Tom, and this is for my car……because I love my car.  Or money.  Or sunsets.  But it is just flowing as it always has.  When you can let it be like that, it will do something remarkable.  Then when you can let it flow and BE in you, its wildness and power can be felt less as for something as what it always has been.  If you can let it flow in your life, then the fountain will never lessen.  You will have become it.  A living reflection of its mighty power.  It has the ability to utterly change you.  And make you into love.

Its not easy talking about this because it seems to almost trivialize it as well as make it seem terribly ambiguous.  It just can’t be described better than it can be experienced.  Yes it sparks inspiration. Yes it drives creativity to new heights.  Yes it drives greater love that fills lives.  It transforms lives, mostly your own.  After a while, it just seems impossible to even explain.  Just come to the edge and slip quiet into the water at night and swim its deep currents.  Once there, you will never wish to get out as our voices rise into the stars at night and our movement merges into one greater movement that shows us that home was always within. Even as we journey there together.

Tantric

I am a mystic tantric.  Must be. Since kundalini, it is here continuously.  The bliss flows and the only issue really is how to deal with it.  How to remain sane with such incredible energy moving through me.  

I am not a monk.  But if I were, it's a tantric monk. The world is steeped in this honied passion, a living breathing flame that engulfs everything, a woman for her man, a man for his woman. The two currents that flow into and out of each other in a continual loop of passion and ecstasy.  

The sun shine is passionate, the water that flows is passionate, the wind that blows is passionate, the energy moving through every living and nonliving thing is passionate.  it is creative, it seeks to create…..be it through making more of itself through sexual union or through other forms of creation.  Tantra is the fuel for driving to the stars.  

When it grows to such strength  it can become difficult.  Its not always easy to simply flow all the time. This leads, for me, to a kind of blissed out state that leaves me feeling fuzzy and out of focus.  I have a hard time focusing on much of anything.  I forget things.  I also worry about how I might forget something important later on, too.  I do what I can to ground myself.  I have, from the beginning, always sensed that this grounding has happened by the universal current moving from one pole of the energy spectrum to the other.  The feminine pole within takes the energy of the masculine, but within me it only serves to build. I look to the archetype of the Goddess and feel my energy being discharged through all that She is. In the earth, in the water, in all of the things on the planet. I have felt the Goddess and her presence has grown in my own awareness over time.  In the beginning she gave birth to me in a dream that marked the beginning of a radical shift in my awakening. Since then, She has become much more of a vivid and tangible force in my life even though she hides in all things.  Hidden but not hidden.  So often I imagine that my hands reach to her heart and the energy flows.  This can help, and often leads to a kind of sense of devotion to a great mystery that is consciousness.

Some adherents are tantric and move energy through the ecstasy of creative sexual energy and others use the energy in something called sublimation. No one way is better, just different.  I find I do both, and it is mostly a matter of focus or intent.  It happens as your attention or will directs or wishes.  I try to focus as much of my energy upwards through sublimation so that it can be used for creative work.  When it is not sublimated it just gets so strong its difficult to deal with sometimes when being alone.  Its like building a static charge and not having anywhere to release it.  Most often I do devotional work.  And by this, ANYTHING can be devotional…..and I prefer NOT to do obviously devotional work.  Taking flower bulbs and dividing them so they will have more room to grow is a form of devotion.  Holding a door for someone, anyone, is an act of devotion.  Sending prayerful thoughts to someone having a hard time, also devotional. And simply living life like a prayer; devotion. 

But it gets hard being a tantric type.  it isn’t that its about sex.  It isn’t in truth.  Its a force that runs so deep….its not sex like I have ever known.  It is a top to bottom ecstasy that requires of me strong reliance on my brightest nature to move through such deep waters, such powerful waterfalls and rapids.  I find I must let go entirely sometimes if I am simply to remain sane.  And I say this because I am merely human. I am not suited to sitting in a temple or ashram for hours, although sometimes my favorite thing is lying on hard cool concrete with my eyes closed feeling the pulse of the universe.  I understand how people can live in such simple surrounds.  When you have this kind of  bliss, it tends to melt desire for things very quickly.  Once you do gain the world, anything else pales in comparison. Everything becomes a dance of the masculine and feminine.  One flows into the other and out of the other and back into the other endlessly as an engine of awakening and awareness and healing.  I am trying to come to peace with the singular nature of my path and not going one way or the other but remaining in balance.  

The path itself has led to awareness of the god and goddess all around me and in me.  I say this because we are in truth one petal on a much larger flower; we live in time and yet our spirits are eternal and all existences can be touched upon in their sheer boundlesness…more petals on an eternal soul where space and time become irrelevant, tools for being but not some ultimate reality.  We are each infinite NOW.  We just wake up to it, like a flower opens to itself and feels and then sees just how limitless it is. There are gods and goddesses of you at larger scales, dimensions, and they can be called upon for tremendous healing work.  Remarkable things await if you can allow yourself to roam into these lands of being. The pagans had it right; the gods and goddesses live within us.  And they do.  The god of me, the goddess of you…..they exist just as surely as do you.  And its not about some great sacralege….for above all resides this very refined thing, its quiet and unassuming and curious and alive.  Its what we all are, and yet we have all gone our own way.  How do I explain this being?  it is without form, yet it exists within all form and has all form moving through it.  It is like a distillation of all that is as the sweetest essence.  And never have I seen a face or body but certainly have felt this great approachability.  I tell it that I very much just want to be like it.  I have spent so many lifetimes mucking it up, Id like to begin modeling it on something really quite outrageously great but also so simple.  Everything, yes, but without a bland bone in its body.  Vibrant, alive.  It loves all, serves all, reveres all and so does not take any sides.  Its on my side, your side, even thugs out on the street or the bullies who go home bruised and battered.  The love is perfect and powerful, royal and brilliant.  And it just wants love and creation.  Create create create…..and part of this is the desire which it says is a great secret which it is trying to get across to me….a little something that Buddha dealt with, but because I am so unread and unlearned of other traditions, I will have to get it written down to see if its unique thought.  The las lesson from it was that desire is actually NOT the bad thing….its actually THE thing.  The problem with desire is the karma that taints our perceptions.  I think I need to make it into a little book or something.  I think it might be a good perspective on how to reach the divine way through love and desire. 

The Truth Of The Divine Source

I have been dealing with the issue of inner truth throughout my awakening.  This began to emerge when things got more difficult for me, back when the energy broadened and put ego on the defensive, shall we say.  Ego had been running the show, holding everything tightly together in all that it knew to do.  I didn't realize just how much of a controlling agent it had become in holding all of my many parts together in a way it thought was best to do.  The unfortunate thing, though, is that it was also holding together all of these old karmas together which were not good for me.  When the whole thing began falling apart, ego was more free to drop back into the background, realizing it was wrestling with the cosmic gorilla.....a powerful and unbending force of perfect divine alignment.  Ego had no other choice but to slip back into a more reasonable arrangement.  I was simply suffering too much.  Something had to give.

The truth of the Divine Source is found within awakening.  It will tell you its secrets if you will but listen. In order to listen you may need to consider that perhaps everything you built your life on was not correct....or in alignment with what the Source is. What makes Source so perfect is how simple it is.  Perfection is not complex at all.....it is finding one small truth that works in everything and then becoming that truth throughout. And what is this truth that Source has become or is?

Love.

Its just that simple. Really.

Of course this wont satisfy many.  There has to be something more to it.  But what you do not realize, if you find yourself unsatisfied with what I have just offered on a silver platter is that this love has the capacity to be everything, to encompass every things thing that is.  Because it can do that, and because it is perfect, it can likewise bring perfection to your life.  If you let it. But we make it complicated. Okay, so now you wonder how is it we make it complicated.  There are lots of ways, but there is one way that we have been doing it for a long time and its karma. Now I want you to consider for a moment that karma is not just about action.  The reason why someone bonks you on your head is due to their karma. Its not merely action, you see, for it comes from a feeling they have inside of themselves like fear.  Nearly all karma comes about through fear. And what does fear do? It scatters love. Love cannot exist within the presence of fear.  they are two very different vibrations, and like attracts like, you see.  So negative karma is always built on fear.  Always.  The reason for this is that karma is in truth a turning away from the divinity.  We do this through fear. If you were to know the truth that the divine is ready to love you perfectly and give you a life of wondrous fulfillment, you would be at a place where you would know how this all comes about.  But why doesn't the divine just crash into the mess of your life and set thing straight if it loves you so damned much, you ask?  Free will.  It reins supreme. You are free to make your life a mess. You are free to turn away from its perfect love. Because you are free, you are also responsible.  This is how Source knows you will learn. Its the only workable system when individuality has been given to creations such as you and I.  Yes, this can mean we spend lifetimes stuck in the wheel of karma and feeling like outcasts from God or Source of whomever you attache the moniker for the Creator.

When we turn from the divine, we do so out of fear that perhaps it will not work perfectly for us. When we do, a vibration rises within us that immediately begins to attract based on that thought. When we doubt that the divine Source will work perfectly for us, fear enters and as it does, we literally begin to create, using divine energy, our lives.  The people we meet may reflect this fear in some way or another.  They will also reinforce our fear that maybe this force cannot be trusted. So we fear more.  And this builds until it spreads like a weed in the Garden of our own inner Eden.  Then we spend lifetimes trimming these weeds, but never really uprooting them once and for all.  If you consider that karma is turning away from the divine within, then the way to set it right is to welcome the divine into us to help us to learn a better way.

But how do we do this, you ask?

One way is through awakening.  To be sure, this may be something that will take some work, but I find in my own experience that the one thing that sparked my awakening was when I was willing to forgive an old hurt, an old shame that I had that was between me and the universe. The effect was immediate and noticeable.  I had let go of a heavy weight.  I was letting go of a karma, a feeling like I had to do it all, like I could not simply trust in the universe unfolding as it should.  No, my ego and mind had to solve this problem, but it was a problem of such large proportions there was probably no way I was going to get it taken care of in this lifetime. Somehow, I managed to forgive myself.  When I did this, I let this old karma go.  As far as karmas go, it was pretty easy.  It was between me and the universe and no one else.  It was a good place to start.  When I did this, I felt the first effects of awakening.  Then, from that day onward, my world began a transformation over a six month period that resulted in a more full-on kundalini awakening.  Now, will this work for you?  Who knows, really.  We are all different.  But the fact that forgiveness of an old burden that was karmic was at the center of my own experience has some interesting implications about the nature of this experience.

When we let go of those things that serve to keep us from the divine, letting go of them makes more room for that divine to dwell.  The divine is ready to rise up into your awareness at any moment.  It never judges you, never says you or someone else is more deserving of this. We all are. And this is how it feels, for it is perfect.

When you turn away from karma, you turn inevitably towards the divine.  Awakening can teach you in simple terms how to turn towards it.

Kundalini is universal energy.  Kundalini is not a religion or a philosophy, but merely a word to explain a phenomenon that happens. It is not tied to any faith.  It happens through out all the cultures of the world.  It predates all religion.  It is our connection to getting back to our divine roots. Kundalini is the essence of union.  When it enters you body it does so as a unity.  In fact, the yin and yang was never separate except in our own minds.  When kundalini enters into your awareness, it enters you whole, perfect.  The two currents of the universe are themselves already fully surrendered to one another in joyful union. What you feel through this force is the bliss of their own union.  You have somewhere asked them in.  Most who seek fervently are the ones most often to find it. Within them they feel some burning question they have forgotten was all about and just feels like some wordless question of why are we here, what is our purpose.  They are our purpose.  To find the divine. If you can realize that the energy you feel is their union, they can begin to show you how to unify yourself. This is why when you struggle in awakening, it is because you are going in the wrong direction. Maybe its too much ego. Maybe its identifying with some old hurt or negative karma.  Kundalini is there showing you the way.  When you simply melt and soften, you will feel its force moving all through you. You don't even need to know what you are giving up, or what you are surrendering for.  Just do.  This alone will lead you to feeling them more.  Then, as the bliss pours through you you might ask "what is the purpose of the bliss?"  Well, that is mind and ego trying to find a purpose.  the purpose is to feel love.  Feeling love will lead you to fulfillment.  Nothing more need be made of it. You are turning away from the hurt and into the love and bliss.  As you do, you loosen the bonds to karma. Keep letting it pour through you and stop asking questions.  Embody it. BE it.  Don't turn to your karmas and say "Yes, but that part of me hurts so much, it needs to be healed!"  So how are you going to heal it?

The only way to heal is to forgive.  When you forgive you give yourself permission to let it go.  When you do that the associations within the self drop away.  Its simple really.  But we make it complicated. You are more than just the self you are here on this planet.  You have far more resources at your command. Something like your perception made you believe you were somehow limited. You are not. You have to begin to trust that you are more.  You don't need to know HOW to bring on this more.  You merely have to invite it and step out of the way and watch as miracles happen by making them possible through how your belief is arranged.  You create your reality.  Thus far its a perfect mirror of your limit and lack, hurt or pain.  Now you can create based on something else.

So when I now do the work and I feel this pain in my energy body making me uncomfortable, I know that this is a sign that I have to do some letting go.  There is something more to forgive.  Sometimes I get tremendous pain.  I sit and thank it for letting me know it is there.  I say that I am thankful now for this pain because it shows me so perfectly where the hurt is, where the lack of the divine energy is.  Now that the divine is running all through me, I can feel its presence say to me "Lets fill that hurt with all of this love.....we can do it....I just need your permission!"  And I give it permission and I can feel this energy flood into it. At first, its like fresh water meeting muddy water.  They at first mix and the water just gets more muddy. But now more clear water is flowing in that there is muddy water.  It will begin to clarify.  The center will go from feeling a sharp intense pain to one of sheer joy and bliss.  Its a kind of seduction really.  Its not like some goddess seducing me, no, its more like pure love filling my light body.  But I have to give myself over to it.  When I do, I feel different.  I feel utter relief.  I feel the love of the divine inside of me.  I feel it in the way I always needed to.  The lie of karma was that the divine was gone from the world and I was on my own.  But with it coming into my core, I know wherever I go, it is there with me.  Further, I am also bringing heaven to earth.  As I do, others are better able to. I don't even need to know these people so affected because this is not an individual thing.  We are actually healing the entire species.  The collective template of the human identity gets rewritten in subtle ways at its source and as each person achieves this place, the vibration within the whole changes.  I know you might not believe me, but why do you think so many are now waking up?  Why do you think awakening is such a ubiquitous phenomenon now?  We come bearing the kingdom.  Like a mustard seed it grows.

The living presence of the divine in you is love and it is the truth.  If you feel like this does not suit you, then you have more work to do. Until then, you will be busy with what you feel you need to do before you come to this all on your own. But I promise, the divine has been waiting just outside your door waiting for the day that this happens.  Actually, that isn't true.  Its inside of you.  Its waiting for the time when you simply wake up to this fact. Your perceptions are all that are keeping it out.  As your belief and karmas, which are all tied together are loosened, you will give yourself some room to feel this. When you do, you will begin to learn what their love is all about as your awareness opens. It will open slowly at first and you might feel aspects of it slipping through you.  Just be patient. Some of it might express as powerful sexual energy and this might alarm you, but if you stick with it you will find that as your awareness expands, so does your experience of it. Because its love is so broad, it includes everything, even sexual expression.  As it expands and as you drop those limiting karmas, the energy will itself change as you change.  You are leaning the window of your soul so you can see this perfect light.  In the beginning, though, you are looking through a glass darkly.  Just trust. You will be okay.  Surrender, let go, give yourself to it and it will be much easier.

So Source is love.  Now I will also add that it is a love so perfect that it will take your breath away.  It is beyond anything you have ever felt in this world of hurt.  It will deliver you, heal you, raise you up.  The answer seems too simple to you now, but imagine that instead of love I were to say Source is the ocean and this ocean is everywhere and in everything.  Now how would that suit you? Source is a sea of perfect love and it is in everything. 

Being Love

This thing is self educational....over the last several days it says "Do not be IN love, BE love."  And thus began this process of my insides understanding in a new way the difference between the world of karmic attachment to hurt and the woundedness and this world where we can be free. It is beyond attachment, beyond even needing to BE in love.....because once you reach this place where you ARE love, everything is perfect. No more attachments to the things that caused pain and hurt.  Its hard at first because it means letting go of some pretty profound beliefs about how you think things should go in your life. When you let this love stream through you, and as you conceive of it in ever clearer ways, it has a way of building on that clarity until you almost seem to crave more inner clarity and less dross.....all along this voice is saying to try BEING love instead of wanting to BE in love.  The difference, it says, is that the former transcends ego and karma, allowing one to love in a new way, in a grown up way.  It suggests the old way goes away....and perhaps its a loss in a way, but this next step will take some getting used to.  A careful clearing within as it sets up shop in this way.  Its been fueled all along by the transformative power of kundalini.

Being love is learning to grow up.  Lifetimes of hurt can be tricky to just let go, but let go we must.  As we do, a new world resolves.  A new life awaits us....

Nemasté


UPDATE 4/2/12:  I am reading through tumblr and I see a quote that stands out.  It is by Osho and he is saying not to LOVE a thing but BE the love.  If you can do this, he explains, you will be much happier.  Nothing to lose, nothing to not give or to withhold.....

As I think how quickly I jotted this all down I think back on the image I was being shown of the infinite self verses the earthly self or personality and egoistic self.....and how we very much need to let the earthly go so we can get to the universal self, which is free from karma.  As I think about that, and how it was presented to me, it makes even more sense to me as well as what Osho managed to do in echoing it in near perfect timing without my even going looking for it (this happens all the time).  This has in truth been something I have been struggling against for a while in a very egoistic way.  I am finally reaching some point where I am beginning to get it......I just hope I can embody it, feel into it, learn it, and become it. I can be very stubborn sometimes...

The Fortunate Teller

When you gaze downward as she looks at your hand, when you sit with your eyes off to the side as he looks at your aura, or as you sit on the other end of the phone waiting for answers to come out of the ether for the sensitive or psychic on the other end of the line, it would be nice to know that you were just looking for answers to life's most vexing problems, but you weren't.

When you go to the temple and pray, you aren't asking for the world to be delivered, nor are you wanting peace on earth.  You might ask for this because you feel its your duty to do so, and maybe you care about peace, but what really is at the core of all of this is something entirely different.

We want to know there is something more beyond what we see.  Captured as we are by Particle Awareness, we are like 6.5 billion soap bubbles that wont pop.  Inside is all that we are, but something inside of what we are whispers to us that we are much more, that there is something much more and somehow it seems this lays outside of us.  Except it doesn't.  Its as much us as anything else is.  It has been the beginning and end of my journey here, and it will occupy all journies for me, I know.  For me, there is nothing else as important as this one thing, and it animates every single person on the planet and it is currently beckoning from deep within you in a way you could not even begin to imagine, save experience directly.  This is a force that holds everything together, and it expands everything into a whole new constellation.  It brings worlds into being and it also brings them to their conclusion. It is the very essence of creation and Oneness.  It is the font from which we drink deeply and never seem able to get enough.  This is love.

We have love for others, love for things, and any number of other experiences related to what we feel we love.  There is, though, a love that will encompass you if you let it, will seep in all around you and take you to its home.  It will show you a new way of being and feeling.  It will make you turn red in the face and you wont know how to control its passion as it moves all through you. it will open doors in you as you feel entire rooms of your being opened up by this love.  this love is a dizzying pulse that is unlike any other love you have felt, for its less a feeling you feel in your heart or head as it is a pulsation that moves from universe to universe, that is so simple and small yet so huge, as it spirals out and into all known and unknown worlds.

I know that sounds grandiose, but it is.  Its grandiose because its true.  This is not something that can be understood, but experienced, and it is the wish of everything that Is to feel its presence.  Once you have done this, you are a goner.  You can never be the same again.  You have, like I described in my book, awakened one day speaking martian. But the language is beautiful, and it will take you to new levels of understanding if you let it.  It will peel away all your layers, sometimes painfully, but always compassionately.  You will be asked to stand naked before All, and when you do, there will only be one things remaining in you, and it will be love.

To know it is to embrace it with a simplicity and directness.  This is in everything, and it can be in you, too.  In fact, it IS in you, and if you can trip the switch that turns an awakening from a chance encounter with the cosmic into something more enduring, you will see how this is all about remembering what you have always been.  Its like a lover coming up to you whom you have not seen in your entirety of lifetimes who is suddenly there, her everything reminding you of some ancient promise we have all sought to keep.  In that moment, it will be as though worlds rush through you as the origin lands you in the place where it all began.  And when you feel that beginning, it will be like a hoop whose end starts at the beginning of itself, and you might well feel a unity of being and connectedness to your life and the lost pages of your past in a way that makes you smile, for you now do not need someone to tell you if you will be rich, or if you will live on another planet in a life in the future, or if you can talk to your long lost father or grandmother, or if the lines on your hand spell fortune or great insight.  In that moment, there will be just what you had been looking for.  It will be love.  Perfectly crafted from the One from which we have all come from and to which we all aspire, and seek to find in each other.

There are a number of ways to awaken.  The first is with intention.  Is it in you to seek this?  If it is, it will build all around you.  I was just watching a movie with Jim Carrey in it called the Truman Show. Not so long ago, Jim had an awakening experience, and when I look at the work he has done recently, I see these elements alive in his work before the awakening happened.  In the Truman show, things are not quite what they seem.  It turns out that the True-man is entirely fooled by what he thinks he sees all around him.  He slowly begins to realize that there is something more out there, and sets about to find it.  Maybe life feels that way to you sometimes.  I know when I was young I had this feeling as though this was all some kind of play or set-up....and I have found others who had the exact same notion as kids.  Its not so unusual as we might think because it all points to this sense that there is something more than just this.  Neo in those very violent Matrix movies wakes up to find his old world was not what he thought it was.  Sadly, though, the real world for him was more like a nightmare than a saving grace.  I suppose, though, that we can choose how we see it, even though it has infinite potential and will be like putty in our hands if we but let it resolve into what is best for us. The single best way to awaken is to learn to let go.  Something inside of you lets go, and then slowly, it is seduced into the fires of transformation like some ancient rite of passage.  Some of the flames can hurt, but only because whatever it was you were wearing was not compatible with the flames....

Let go of something simple, easy, but it needs to be real.  Let go of some old guilt or hurt that you piled onto yourself.  Perhaps a confession will help, and it might just be that you can confess to someone who is a neutral party.   Make it count. The release might just lighten your being enough to let a stream of energy move through you that helps to establish that flow. Tell someone how you feel that you have been holding back on for years.  or maybe when you were little you blamed your sister for something that she did not do.  Do something that will lighten your load a little, and then go out and smell the sweet air and feel how this makes you feel different. And if that does not do it, a simple focus on the third eye while breathing deeply and imagining a deep energy rising up into the third eye, drawn up through your attention to the third eye.  If that doesn't work,  ask  your soul simply and directly to show you the way to awakening if its in your highest to know it in this life.  Awakening is a real challenge,so its best to do when you are ready.  Once you have it, its a bit like being wed to something that you simply wont shake.  You can't.  Acupuncture might help.  I found some interesting things happening when I tried acupuncture.  The one needle that did the most was something called the Gateway and it was connected to the heart.  It turned me into an ocean of flow.  You can try kundalini yoga, but for most people today, awakenings aren't happening through that avenue as much as they are simply happening.  The air is being filled with the passion of this vibration, and more and more are being effected by a still broadening morphic field.  I suspect it will continue to grow as long as there are people who are energetically close to the threshold for it to take hold in them.

Its all about love.  Learning to love yourself, not in a selfish way, but in a true way.  To feel the love of the universe AS you and to feel the love reflected through all things.  This pulse is what keeps the planets in their orbit and the frogs singing on cool Spring nights.  its what draws us to each other and to professions in the hopes of greater fulfillment.  We sometimes get lost in it and mistake it for things like money or jobs or keeping up with the Jones's.  This love seeks nothing but itself and asks nothing but itself.  To achieve this means letting go of a good deal of the things you have clung to.....since so much have been in truth stumbling blocks for you, or miscalculations, however carefully conceieved....some have turned into traps without your even realizing it.  Waking into this love, you will be drawn away from that which does not serve your greater being.  As long as your old karmas lay within you, they will energize you and tell you they are important until you see differently, that there is still more to divest, to let go. Do not be afraid to stand completely naked, to allow your Essential Self shine forth without any static from your ego or mind.  Forget what you THINK will happen and just consider whatever DOES happen will be perfect.

You are being asked to move from bubble to wave.  this will require you to stretch out and become something entirely different, but perfect.  And beautiful.  As I breath in deep I hear the universe reminding me that all these people searching will find what they need as they need.  It tells me to just keep breathing deep, to breathe life into this growing organism we are building that is the collective self that is not just the collective, but the collective portion that is becoming AWARE as Infinite and awake in the moment, here, on earth, now.  As this energy builds, so does it help to push others over the edge.  We are all like these brilliant cells in a larger body as a ripple of some complex chemistry seeks to change and send a message, like a hormonal end electrical pulse, perfectly timed that changes how we, little motes in the body of something larger, think and feel and KNOW.  Awake, the world is very different.  We feed from a larger body of being and can feel this subtle energy moving all through this larger body.  We are each waking up in our own time and in our own way.

You don't need someone to tell you are special, or if your destiny is written in the stars.  You ARE the stars, silly.  Everything you had hoped to hear from soothesayers was just the same thing you always yearned for, which was that there was something more.  This something more was love.  But what a love!  So powerful, so challenging, so encompassing!  When they look up at you to tell you your destiny, you can smile knowing that you KNOW what your destiny is, which is in essence the same as everyone else's on the planet: to be love.....the most unordinary love you could ever imagine, but is what you have been seeking all through your lifetimes and helps to shape your curiosity and hope for this something more.   It seems outside of you, but rests like a sleeping baby within you. 

I keep breathing in deep and whispering my prayers for All.

Devotee

To feel the Creator
God,
Mother/Father/Child triad
Atman
Great Spirit
Buddha
or Christ
Requires nothing more from you but devotion to a purpose
your being
your own purpose
beyond mind
singular vision and intent
for when you get there
it will not be what you expect
and in so being
will reprogram you from the inside out
and show you the divine path
out of the hard life
into the world where honey flows.
It can be much better for you
for each of us here....
but it means learning how to FEEL
to awaken to this feeling self
and when you do
you become a vessel
bit by bit
as you let go of karmas
those entangling alliances
those wrinkles in your being
as you are revealed to yourself
to this divine being
once in you
outside of you
of the great light
the greatest love you are ever going to feel.

Sitting quietly its force moves through me
just perfectly
lovingly
and I go about my day doing what I must do to continue
to untangle the knots in my hair
to make myself a better suitor
for its great and expansive love.
I am its devotee....


This is not attained by or through any other but through ones self.
Each must come to the God, Goddess, or Creator, on their own.
In the midst of this
S/He will be the trickster spirit it ever was
to get you to chase after those thing that will cause you suffering
not in order that you hurt or suffer
but that you become aware that this is hurting you
standing beside you
like some divine parent
watching as you hold onto a hot branding iron
unsure of why you hold onto it
smiling saying "you can let go.....let go....it will all be better...."
and the realization that you can let these things go
to achieve freedom
and the deepest joy which abides in whatever your conception is of a higher power
fills you bit by bit as you tease from the universe those bits of gold thread
that you use to weave the tapestry of your life
and fogive all for all they ever did to hurt you
so that the world may start anew
clean slate....
for this is the heart of the deepest and truest kindness
the greatest compasion
and boundless freedom....
looking everyone in the eye and seeing they each have equal capacity for divine....
we are like lost children
trying to find our way back
and if we could but find our way back
each of us
the world would resolve
gleaming with riches beyond all belief
as each tapestry reveals the gold won for our heart's desire
and which is bestowed freely
not greedily
but through a love that is perfect.

When you feel it flow through you
someone looks out through your eyes
it seems a bit strange
but the bliss is incredible
as you make love to this Creator
and it to you
for the language of the divine is this bliss.
Here, in this world, we have sabotaged ourselves
thinking sex bad.
Even the greatest adepts shun sex
in favor of something "higher."
This attitude shows how we do not revere the creation
and in not revering
we loath it
without realizing its just ourselves we loath
and do not love
and that grain
that bit of grit in us
serves to create seperation from divine bliss....
until we can make peace with this
we will continue with a bit of grit in our becoming
rolling around in the softest part of ourselves
until we learn to toss it out
and accept the love
that is our birthright
for ever this was as it has ever been
and when we toss out our dissease with it
we toss out the disease that has lurked in our psyche
for fear that what we felt was bad or wrong
or not acceptable.
For lain upon the alter of the divine
you will be seduced completely
and brought into the great pulse
that is the universe.
Not through shame
but out of it
you will feel how missing you have been
all this time
from the morning prayer
and continual union that is what we shall each become in our turn...
not because of any teacher
but because of that part in us within that finally has no fear
or loathing
or anger over how things have gone.
Just let it go.  You will know when it no longer affects you no matter how severe.
When you can speak kindly in the midst of their demonizing of you
will you be free....

If you ask to be shown
and lay aside all expectation or pretense
if you ask to be shown how it must be
instead of wrestling with your demons
just ask how it must be
and it will be shown to you.
When you are ready, it will happen.
There is something inevitable in all of this.
We each will come to this fire on our own
person by person
just as we left it
so shall we move back into its great light
force
power
love
and bliss.

If you simply give up your fear of how you might lose something
and just let it go and ask to see plainly
you will discover the most perfect love you will have ever known
for this love lays outside of karma
and the centuries of lifetimes spent killing
raping
pillaging
and abusing one another
and perpetuating a way of being that did not serve
the kingdom or samadhi or this bliss
that flows so freely through my veins
and lights up my body
in silent knowing.

You can know this
for in truth
it is simply learning how to feel.
And when you do
you will know whatever you wish to know.
By adhering to its great power
it will show you all that is yours
like a child of a great king and queen
who had a grand kingdom
to bestow upon their progeny
except this great inheritance will come to each of us
if you but ask to be shown what is your souls greatest need
the need to be brought back to the bosom of that great being
from which we all sprang
and to we each seek to ascend back to
not realizing that we each have its spark in us
and need only listen and feel into that spark
to find our way back.

This is not about wizardry or one-upping the competition.
Quietly, selflessly,
this thing turns
and does not seek to hurt or destroy of roll itself up in ego.
It is perfectly self assured
because the enitre universe is at its command.
Quietly, selflessly, following the pulse of your own divine purpose.
Like a child of a great king and queen
powerful beyond all imagining....
no child of such lineage would ever walk in fear or uncertainty.

Touching this will show you the finest love you will ever know.
It is a process of shedding
and you must be willing to devote yourself to that
knowing that the rest of infinity awaits
in perfect timing
for you to discover what is yours to be.

As your eyes are opened
you will see not the surface of life
but into it.
You will feel life
not simply gaze upon it like a stranger.
You will be one with it
through every single particle that exists
and as you finish the work of your own union within yourself
you will see that everything else exists in this state of union also.
Some life never left union
yet exist in duality on this plane
part of awareness beyond our ability to imagine.
The quiet trees and plants
to still
represent some of the most mobile of our collective awareness
and if you are able to touch with this inner touch
and see with these inner eyes
you will find a new world pulsing all around you.
It is your birthright to know this kind of seeing
knowing
feeling.

Beyond your mind
beyond your conceptions
lies the heart of a Devotee...
waiting to become the perfect lover.

Love is the Cure

Baby we all know this world aint for angels
its hardly fit for you and me
but lordy
lordy
the rain is coming down
its getting too hard to see.

There will be a clear blue sky
by morning
a rainbow just to make it clear
this world has been a place  of suffering
how do we fill it with hope
when its  so full of fear?

The happiness
that we find
the love we beg steal and borrow
I'd like to remember it  as it used to be
as today slips into tomorrow.

Hard world
hard hearts
will say
this life just aint fair
but a new song is coming down
raining through the sweet summer air
Love is the cure,
love is the way,
love is the only word
that has the power to say


What matters is what we do
The love and the joy we bring
Everything here might be  hard
but its the song we sing:

Hard world
hard hearts
will say
this life just aint fair
but a new song is coming down
raining through the sweet summer air
Love is the cure,
love is the way,
love is the only word
that has the power to say

What matters is what we do
The love and the joy we bring
Everything here might be  hard
but its the song we sing:

love is the cure
love is the way
nothing else will heal the world
loe is the cure
love is the way.

Without Condition

True Love
is without a condition.
Freely given
like the sun shines.
I spoke to a man
who shrugged
and turned away
as I explained
that the kingdom he wanted to come
would come when we loved unconditionally.

Even a man who is hated
who has killed
or done bad things
cannot be refused this love
for this love must flow
or else it ceases to be love
but becomes corrupted.

Without unconditional love
we simply would not be.
If we treat our enemies
like they are not our enemies
we cease having enemies
and begin to see
and feel
differently.

It not a weak person who does this
but someone very strong.
It takes an uncommon woman
or man
to feel this profoundly
to let his or her heart beam so powerfully
and yet when you feel it open up in this way
you know that there IS no other way
except the way of soul death
or blindness
where an eye for an eye
leaves us unable to see
beyond ourselves.

People do not realize how steeped they are
marinating in hurt
anger
aggression.
Their hearts have been blinded by this greater world
this world we are searching for
within ourselves
every second of the day.

Giving love does not mean that you condone evil acts.
Giving love is merely what must be done to live
to be alive
to be a holy person
a Christian
or Muslim
or Zoraster
or Sufi
or a hundred different paths.

They all resolve around love
because love is the great equalizer
the great truth of our higher selves.
Perhaps instead of hating gleefully
we should let love shed some light
on why some feel the need to attack others
and see what shedding loves light there might do.
Its not a silly proposition
but the only one
that will in time
result in peace
and love.

May you find unconditional love today
and all days....

Love

This love
she says
as she cradles my head
is for you
each of you
undivided
equal.
Teachers in your past have sought
to bring the logos to you
even though through it all
the logos is actually inside of you my beloved child.
That logos is the love.
You are this love
and this love is the universe.
This makes queens and kings of each of you.
The poorest man struggling to walk the streets
or the richest woman living in a castle on a hill
all belong equally to this divine royalty.
You are this love, my love."

What it all means
she whispers
is coming to a place where you can love yourself
until you do that
your world will have dark clouds
and troubled times.
The world is as you see it
and if you have something unresolved within
it clouds your vision
so that the light becomes like a dark smudge on the glass.
All through time its been like this
the world is so hungry for this love
yet many have never felt it in this world
but know it like some forgotten memory....

You can teach a thousand lectures
full of great ideas
but none other will help
as love.
Love is so expansive that there seems to be different faces of it in our world
and yet all of them belong to a larger unfolding love that will remove our need
and begin to supplant with abundance
and abundance of love.
We have divided this love into different loves ourselves.
romantic love or eros,
the cosmic pulse of the erotic and sensual,
the love of a child
tender and expansive
and protective.
We love others for what they supply us.
We love money
and we love basketball,
pants,
paintings,
and birds
and trees.
We love all kinds of things and all of this
is bound up within a much larger realm of experience
which is a love that literally fuels the universe.

Beyond all of this
or perhaps within All
is a deeper pulse
which goes beyond all explanation
and contains all.
It is this love
and what is does for us here.
It alone is the fire which can burn and refine us into beings
that are children of the new age
new world
beyond karmic entanglement
ready for a new adventure in being
where love rules.
This is our collective dream
and many are conflicted about it
so we see this played out on the world stage
and yet the revolution works itself out inwardly
as wave after wave effects more and more
who are feeling the pull of this vast ocean of experience
the nirvana of the sages and gurus
the expanding present
the power of now
and all of the isms that we seek to create to describe or explain it.

Its love.
When you are able to feel your heart open
like the flower that it is
you will feel an indescribable pulse moving through you.
You will be forever changed
and yet what brought you to that place
was the result of being forever changed.
This is the stair stepping we make up through the ranges of our being.
Each step is a revelation
each step important.
Some bear messages from our past to our present and into our future;
remember what you are they say
you are love.

As we move through all of this
love unfolds
or we unfold to love
as our ability to perceive it changes
and then as we open to its expansive vibration
pulses of it get through....
and a new world lays before us
page by page
we go through this
as we move from lower to higher.

Goddess holds out her hand
to all of us
soothing
invigorating
she beckons us near
time for us to embrace that part of us
which we have so long denied.
Her union in each of us
will connect the dots
and reveal to you
the truth of you
which is
that
you are love
and by vibrating at its frequency
you will feel the boundlesness of creation
the entirety of the universe passing through your heart
without a need to clutch or hold
for all wedded to all
is what we are.

This is how we heal this world.

Mirroring the Divine

So is it possible that the goddess in me mirrors and connects just as the masculine does.....in direct proportion to you....which is that part that allows me to surrender because surrender was never easy for me I don't think and as a result it was hard to catch on to what surrender would do for me in this process...I was always used to being the initiating energy and now I take a back seat while something larger steps forward more and more inside of me....and while I am still there its more like I am looking at the map while driving but I am not the one who is driving....and I do not want to drive because something in me drives the divine in me just fine....IS that being and I am merely learning, a student really to this larger self.....and yet inside of me something must give way to something larger, more than me.....and I must lay aside my desire to control or ability to do so....as if some sliver of it in me lets it come shining through in this. Hmm. I can feel goddess of you all through me and the pulse of life with its calm gentle presence driving this higher....

They call it shaktipat but I think I have suspected its about tuning others....its not so exotic is it? Consciousness bends itself, shapes itself...flows into larger forms.....gives up itself yet finds itself....swims in the water...becomes the water and finds itself as water redeemed, awakened....thankyou Source for giving individuality as inviolate. Everyone wants to obliterate ego and sense of self in order to sink into that larger sea. But we do it regardless.......gifted with indivduality is our greatest gift. Its what gave us awareness of ourselves beyond the body of the Source....which ached to give us distance from it enough so that it may look into us, through us....we flow into the other....Source and Gifted of Source winding back into itself like so many mirrors shining the infinite into itself. Just like when I look into you, do you know I see into forever? This little piece.....this little piece of Now like in a dream but real....trembling wet and cold waiting for the warming presence to fill us.....so its a great gift Source smiles saying yes, you have it.....its so subtle really. Don't obliterate.....just keep growing more and more....seeking further out beyond what you think is real or understood and follow the bliss, we make it up as we go along directed by a vibration which is the very soul of creation in us.

Pearls
like thunder
lightening in my soul
striking so deep
lifting out the flotsam
jetsam
clearing me
refining
until like honey
the bits of wax
burn away.

This bliss goes deep
cracks us open
surrendered to the great All
take my hand, hold gently
as a great mystery moves through us
I can love you with just a look
just a look
fertile worlds emerge
lush and abundant
we become more
fusing into something more
a collaboration
musicians
bringing their versions
into one version.
I am not afraid of losing myself in you
for I will merge so fully into you
creating the sacred third
maintaining myself
flowing back into the ancient rivers of my soul
pushing all this way
flowing for millenia
reaching this place just now
all the time, changing.....
folding unfolding
come....
lets go run in the surf
as the gentle presence comes turning down spinning like a top
pressing itself into our soft fleshy world
of possibility
and innocence.

Lets just let the angle of intention be the mover....
I get you, you get me.....we reach into apexes
with our awareness....with our hearts....will you touch mine....
its a simple experiment
safe
pearls of bliss
orgasmicaly understated....
I turn into sunfire and desert sand
and stone and a million other forms
aching to know itself as itself
down through time
carrying this masculine mantle
for this purpose
this one single kiss.
One kiss.
Come be this kiss with me......
and I will return you to you when you need it
refreshed and alive....leaning into the possibility of what
we can become.
We become koans.

Beloved

How do I awaken the waters which seem to move through the gulf between, how do I enliven and join in holy union that which is my counterpoint in my soul? The answer I think lies in this moment....in what we are becoming, our intention which rises up like new worlds...coupled with intense creative energy seeking to be directed and moved in a purposeful way...... Increasingly it is more and more important to step more forcefully into this self which makes up my core.... to facilitate letting it move forward into my life so that it can begin to direct my life instead of the ego mind trying to do the directing, making messes all the way. So why not? Why not say yes to this larger self and leave the driving up to her and him? You and I can sit, relaxed, in the backseat watching a truly incredible soulscape unfold as we move along in this together. Truth is, there never was a gulf, save for what was illusory. What matters now is the heart. Through its gateway paradise is seen to make chase our hopes.

Your goddess is the single most beautiful being....I cannot even say....so achingly exquisite....I am entranced by her, by how she moves down through you and radiates in you. Something in me knows only to draw her out through fueling this passion as the goddess has directed, opening new channels making this energy feel like liquid opium flowing through my veins.....as images from the distant past stream through me, uniting a dark but inspired past with the present with images of a bull standing in the field, plow hitched and pulled tightly to him as the hand of a master plowman keeps the power in his body from lurching forward unecessarily. Directed, played, worked expertly, he prepares the fields for abundant life to spring forth as rain will come in perfect timing. His plow will reach deep into the earth and break free the dried earth which has not felt the pulling of the plowshare through it, yet breaking free there is a marvelous relief and healing as those unusued parts, a sea of earth, is freed to give life again. In her role, she is a world of infinite possibility, an inneffable sea sinking into darkness, whose depths the godself seeks like no other.....to discover, to enliven, to awaken self unto self.

When the godself enters in, when he steps forward, my purpose-now loosened from all the debris that had covered my heart- begins to shine. Its not so much an answer to a question, but more like a logos, a truth, a presence, a knowing....and it stands beyond all efforts to try and crack it through the mental....simply because it does not NEED such examination....its so obvious, so present when it is given the chance to BE. It does not seek mental jewelry. It seeks that which is most precious, and is beyond all enumeration. That which is most precious to him is you, beloved. You are his fertile cosmos, the ineffable ocean crashing against the desert sands....the abundant fertile lands which support and nurture new life.... in the world of nature. There is not a place where you are not and as daughter to her greatness, I spread before you the only gift I can give; me. Aligning to you, I find that I align to myself and to a larger sense of being, that reveals divine nature. Such wonders that come from your abundant heart. How is that possible? This is why I call it a religion, perhaps the best there ever was for a soul like mine who could never really find anything to follow that felt quite right. But unlike saints of old this god never sought chastity or obedience or righteousness to some outside force but allowed his own nature as gifted to him by Source as his compass. Its as if this has been bound up in heaven, the kingdom, hidden from view, and just now, the waters of spirit are beginning to leak and drip and soon, oh so soon, the dam will simply crumble away. Thank goodness you shook my shoulder as I lay in slumber, so unaware, so lost, really. I am so thankful, in awe of what you are within, and on this cold crisp winter night I can feel your now familiar sense of presence as though it has always been. If we can but gather up the courage to give this sprout a life in this world....to let it grow to the light and spread its branches like the mustard seed got its humble start.....how great would that be? As the world begins to burn and turn and fall apart and ships drop to the dark depths of sea, wont you come give me this great soul kiss which will give my heart and soul that moment whereby my desert lands are soaked to their core with the great surging presence which is your ocean?