The Curious Case of Knight John of Jerusalem....

Knight John was a man who was a crusader in Jerusalem and penned a series of prophecies that have gotten the attention of some people, partly for how what he said over a thousand years ago seems to fit so perfectly into what is happening today.  In a previous post some time ago, I included an excerpt of his prophecies that dealt with a new age that heralded the coming of the Feminine into the world in a way that seems like it may just be down the road.....a road that we are currently on.  Do the words of this knight have something to tell us?

Who is this Knight John? 

According to the publisher he is also called Jean de Vézelay or Jean de Mareuil, a crusader who participated in the conquest of Jerusalem in 1099.  John was born in Burgundy in 1042 AD. and was raised on the Camino de Santiago and became a monk and and later a knight, he would have gone on in the Holy Land of the First Crusade to regain Jerusalem from the Turks, who had seized twenty years earlier. He would have penned the prophecy during this time, knowing Hugues de Payens, with whom he had founded the Order of the Temple or the Templars. He died in Jerusalem around 1119 – 1120 AD. J.C.

Shortly before his death, John of Jerusalem wrote seven copies of his book of prophecies. He gave three written copies to Bernard of Clairvaux (Saint Bernard), who  donated one to the monastery of Vézelay.  According to the preface of the book, the prophecies of John of Jerusalemis actually two books. One is a manuscript from the 15th century and is a commentary on the prophecies (in an effort we assume to help illuminate them for the reader). The manuscript was discovered in 1992 in Zagorsk Russia at the monastery of the Holy Trinity Lavra of St. Sergius, by a professor named Galvieski.  An original copy of the prophecies were kept by the KGB archives in Lubyanka. It was then later transferred to the Library of the Jewish community in Warsaw, captured by the Germans in 1941, and was recovered by the Russians during the fall of Berlin in 1945.  (1)

My sense has been that reading prophecy is problematic for the fact that the person writing is doing so through his or her own lens of the past.  They can only understand it through their own context. In many cases, they are FEELING it more than just seeing it.  They are getting a CURRENT of information and it may not always be delivered in a literal visual way.  As a result, it is all interpretation.  This does not mean that it cannot be understood, but it is much more likely that most prophecy wont be known for what it is until the moment that it comes to pass, if then.  As a result, it best serves, to my mind, as a kind of guidepost, but nothing to tether your camel to. Such things as this can also stir fear and uncertainty, so on the one hand I hesitate, and yet, also, by realizing that in all time, there has never been an end to any time, only events that serve to create the appearance of cycles and periods, but no true "end times" I think that this is an important thing to bear in mind when reading any sort of prophecy.  I think that the worst thing done for us has been the invention of the idea of "End Times."  This is itself untrue, for all time expands into a larger understanding of itself and as humans begin to grasp the true nature of time and how incredibly organic it is, then perhaps we can realize that all any prophecy can seek to do is to glimpse something through a lens.  Sometimes it is seen brilliantly and clearly, and sometimes darkly and with less comprehension.

The best prophecy to my mind helps you to come back to your own present time to consider the lessons of the past as well as the possible futures ahead.

The rest is Knight John...

Protocol secret prophecies

John of Jerusalem – 1099

I see and know.
My eyes find in heaven what will and I passed the time with a single step.
A hand to guide me what you see or do not know.
A thousand years have passed and Jerusalem will never be the Crusader city of Christ.
The sand will be buried in his grain walls of our castles, our armor and our bones. It has stifled our voices and prayers.
Christians from afar as pilgrims where their law and their faith were not dare to approach the tomb and relics qu’escortés by Knights Jews who here (…) and their Kingdom Hall.
Infidels are an innumerable crowd spread everywhere
and faith resonate like a drum across the Earth.
I see the huge earth.
Continents named Herodotus in his dreams will be added beyond the great forests which Tacitus, and away after endless seas begin after the Pillars of Hercules.
A thousand years have passed since the time we live and strongholds will have all gathered in great kingdoms and vast empires.
Wars as numerous as the meshes of the coat worn by the Knights of the Order will be crossed, defeating kingdoms and empires, weaving others.
And serfs, the peasants, the poor will not fire a thousand times revolted, burning crops, castles and cities, until they are skinned alive and being forced survivors to return to their dens.
They are raw Kings.
A thousand years have passed and the man has earned the seabed and the heavens
and it will be like a star in the firmament.
It has acquired the power of the sun and it will be taken for God,
Building on the huge earth thousand towers of Babel.
It will be built on the ruins of the walls of those that had raised the emperors of Rome, and they will separate again Legions Barbarians and Tribes.
Beyond the great forests will be an empire.
When the walls will collapse the Empire no longer a muddy water.
The people will once again be involved.
Then begin the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand.
I see and I know what it will be.
I am the scribe.
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand Man will be at the mouth of a shadow of a dark labyrinth.
And I see the bottom of this night in which he will press the red eyes of the Minotaur.
Beware his cruel wrath, you who will live the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand.

1
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
The Gold is in the Blood
Look at the stars who will count the money
Will enter the Temple will meet merchants
Sovereigns will changers and usurers
The Glaive defend the Snake
But the fire incubates
Each city is Sodom and Gomorrah
And the children’s children become the pyroclastic
They will throw the old banners

2
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Man has populated the heavens and the earth and its creatures Seas
He will command
He wants the power of God
He will know no limits
But everything will turn
It titubera like a drunken king
It gallop like a blind knight
And the spur he push his mount in the forest
Down the road is the abyss

3
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Will rise at all points of the Land of Towers of Babel
This is Rome and Byzantium, it will
The fields will be emptied
There will act as himself and his band
But the barbarians will be in town
There will be no bread for all
And the games will no longer suffice
So people without a future
Illuminate large fires

4
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Hunger tighten the belly as men
And cold bleuira both hands
Let them want to see another world
And dream merchants who will offer the poison
But it will destroy the bodies and souls rot
And those who have mingled their blood poison
Be as wild animal caught in a trap
And violate and kill and steal and rançonneront
And life will become Apocalypse every day

5
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Everyone try to enjoy everything it can
Man divorces his wife many times he will marry
And the woman go through the lost paths (hollow) taking that which pleases
Mothering without giving the name of the Father
But no master will guide the Child
And each of the others will only
The tradition will be lost
The law will be forgotten
As if the Ad was not made and the man will return to wild

6
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
The father takes his pleasure with her daughter
The man with the man’s wife with the woman
The old with the prepubertal child
And it will be in everyone’s eyes
But the blood will become impure
The evil will spread from bed to bed
The body rots host all the earth
Faces are eaten the emaciated limbs
Love will be high threat to those who do not know that the flesh

7
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Whoever speaks Oath and Law
Will not be heard
Anyone who preach the Faith of Christ
Lose its voice in the wilderness
But everywhere spread the mighty waters of the infidels religions
False messiahs will gather the blind men
And the unfaithful will be armed as he was never
He will speak of justice and law and faith will be burning and cutting
He will avenge the Crusade

8
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
The sound of death given as the storm roll on earth
The barbarians are mixed with the soldiers of the last legion
The infidels living in the heart of the Holy Cities
Everyone will turn barbaric, infidel and wild
There will be no order or rule
The hatred will spread like fire in dry forest
The barbaric massacre soldiers
Slay the unbelievers believers
The savagery will each and every and cities perish


9
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Men will judge them according to their blood and their faith
No one will listen to the heart with children
They identify for as nestlings
And nobody will protect them from the hand stiffened gauntlet
Hatred flood the land who thought pacified
And no one will be spared neither old nor the wounded
The houses will be destroyed or stolen
Some take the place of other
Everyone close your eyes not to see women raped

10
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Everyone will know what is in all places of the earth
We see children whose bones break through the skin
And one whose eyes are covered with flies
And that which hunts like a rat
But the man who will turn away the head
For he will care that it
This one will give a handful of grains as alms
While he sleeps on bags full
And it will give with one hand he will take the other

11
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Man will all merchandise
Everything has its price
The water tree and the animal
Nothing will really set and everything will be sold
But then the man will be more than meat weight
Barters his body was like a piece of meat
We take his eye and heart
Nothing is sacred or his life or his soul
We play his body and blood as a carcass skinning

1 2
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Man has changed the face of the earth
He wants the Master and Ruler of forests and herds
It has dug the ground and sky
And traced its path in the rivers and seas

But the earth will be naked and barren
The air becomes hot and the water is foul
Life fade for man deplete the world’s wealth
And man is only as a wolf
To hate him

13
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
The child will also be sold
Some will use it as a quintain
To enjoy his new look
Others treat it as a servile animal
The sacred weakness will be forgotten child
And mystery
It will be like a foal that stands
Like a lamb being slaughtered bleeding
And the man will be nothing more than barbarism

14
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
The eyes and minds of men will be prisoners
They are drunk and ignore
They take the images and reflections for the truth of the world
It will make them what is actually a sheep
While predators will
Raptors in the herd will better guide to the abyss
And set them against each other
They flay to get their wool and skin
And if he survives man will be stripped of his soul

15
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Reign of the Sovereign without belief
They will order the innocent human crowds and passive
They hide their faces and keep their names secret
And castles will be lost in the forest
But they decide the fate of any and all
No part in the meetings of their order
Everyone will be true serf and freeman believe Knight
Will rise only those wild and sometimes heretical cities
But they will first be conquered and burned alive

16
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Men will be so many lands
They look like an anthill in which the stick is pressed
They grouilleront and death will crush heel
Like insects distraught
Large movements push them from one country to another
Brown skins will mingle with white skins
The Faith of Christ to that of the Infidel
Some preach the sworn peace
But all this will be the war of enemy tribes

17
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Men want to cross all pregnant
The mother will have gray hair of an old
The way of nature is abandoned
And families will be separate grains that nothing can unite
This will be another world
Each wander arm as a runaway horse
Going in all directions without a guide
Woe to the knight who will ride this horse
It will no bracket and drop in the gap

18
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
The men will rely more on God’s law
But want to guide their life as a mount
They want to choose their children in the womb of their women
And kill those they do not like
But will the man and take to God?
The Mighty will seize the best land and the most beautiful women
The poor and the weak are livestock
Each hut will keep
Fear in every heart will be like a poison

19
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
A black and secret order has arisen
His law will be the weapon of hatred and poison
It will always want more gold and expand his rule over all the earth
And his servants will be linked by a kiss of blood
Righteous men and the weak suffer his rule
The Mighty will start its service
The only law that will dictate that in the shadows
It will sell the poison into churches
And the world will work with the scorpion in his heel

20
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Many men will sit idly
Or go without knowing where the empty eyes
Because they will no longer fight forge where the metal
And more scope to grow
They will be like a seed that can take root
Stray and humiliated poor and desperate
The youngest and oldest places often without
They will have the war for salvation
And they will fight themselves first and they hate their lives

21
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Diseases of the water from the sky and the Earth
Hit man and threaten
He wants to revive what was destroyed and protect what remains
He will fear coming days
But it will be too late
The desert will eat the earth and the water will become deeper
It will drip some days taking everything like a flood
And she missed the next day the earth
And the air will eat the body lower

22
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Earth quake in several places and cities will crumble
Everything we built will not listen to the wise
Be threatened and destroyed
Mud submerge villages and the ground opens beneath the Palace
The man obstinately because pride is his folly
He did not hear the repeated warning of the earth
But the fire will destroy the new Rome
And rubble accumulated
The poor and the barbarians will plunder, despite the legions abandoned wealth

23
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
The sun will burn the earth
The Air will be the veil that protects the fire
There will be a curtain holes
And the burning light will eat the skin and eyes
The sea will rise as a boiling water
Cities and shores are buried
And entire continents disappear
The men took refuge in the hills
And they rebuild already forgetting what happened

24
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
People are prepared to live mirages
The senses are deceived and touch what they believe is not
They follow paths that only the eyes will
And the dream may well come alive
But the man will know more separate what is from what is not
He lost in labyrinths of false
Those who will give rise to mirages
Will play the naive man by deceiving
And many men become rampant dogs

25
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
The animals Noah had embarked on his ark
Will no longer be in the hands of man
Animals that transformed according to his will
And who will care about their living suffering?
The man has made of each case it will be required
And he will destroy in countless
What will become the man who changed the laws of life
Which has made the animal living a lump of clay
Will it equal to God or the child of the devil?

26
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
It will be afraid to child rights
Poison and despair will watch
We will not desired for itself and not for him or the world
It is hunted for fun and sometimes you will sell his body
But even those who will be protected by his own
Is threatened to have the dead spirit
He will live in the game and the mirage
Who will guide since there will be more teacher
Nobody has taught him to hope and act

27
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
The man believe God when he is nothing more than birth
He hit always defeated by anger and jealousy
But his arm will be armed with the power it will have seized
Prometheus and blinded he can destroy everything around him
It will dwarf the soul and he will have the strength of a giant
There will move a huge step, but it will ignore what path to take
His head is heavy to know
But he does not know why he lives and dies
It will always be the fool who gesticulates or child whines

28
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Whole countries will fall prey to war
Beyond the Roman Limes and even on the former territory of the Empire
Men in the same cities were slay
Here is the war between tribes and there among believers
The Jews and the children of God will not cease to oppose
And the earth Christ will be their battlefield
But the infidels everywhere want to defend the purity of their faith
And there will be in front of them that doubt and power
Then death shall go everywhere as the standard of a new era

29
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Many men will be excluded from human life
They will have no rights or roof bread
They are naked and have their bodies for sale
We further reject the towers of Babel opulence
They grouilleront like remorse and a threat
They occupy entire regions and proliferate
They listen to the preaching of revenge
And they launch an assault on proud towers
The time will be income of the barbarian invasions

30
When start the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
The man will be entered into the dark labyrinth
It will be afraid and close your eyes because it will see more
It will challenge any and fear at every step
But it will be pushed forward because no stop will be permitted
The voice of Cassandra is yet high and strong
He did not hear
Because it will always want to have more and his head will be lost in the mirage
Those who are his masters deceive the
And there will be only bad shepherds
When it’s full of the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand

31
When it’s full of the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Men have finally opened my eyes
They will no longer be locked in their heads and in their cities
They will see and hear from one point to another of the earth
They will know that what strikes one hurts the other
The men form as a single large body
Each of which is a fraction
And they together constitute the heart
And finally there will be a language that is spoken by all
And finally born and the great human

32
When it’s full of the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Man has conquered the sky
It will create stars in the big dark blue sea
And sail on this brilliant nave
Ulysses new companion to the Sun Odyssey Celestial

33
When it’s full of the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Men will sink under water
Their bodies will be new and they will fish
And some will fly high above the birds
As if the stone does not fall
They communicate with each other
Because their mind is so wide open that collect all posts
And dreams will be shared
And they live as long as the older men
He is talking about the Holy Books

34
When it’s full of the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
The man knows what is the mind of everything
Stone or water of the animal body or facing the other
It has unlocked the secrets that the old gods had
And push door after door in the maze of new life
It will create with the power and burst a source
He will teach the knowledge of the multitude of men
And children know the earth and the sky than any before them
And the human body will be expanded and skilled
And his spirit will enveloped all things and be owned

35
When it’s full of the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
The man will not be the only sovereign because the woman will take the scepter
It will be the great teacher of future time
And she thinks she will impose on men
She is the mother of the Thousand Year comes after Year Thousand
She spread the warm softness of the mother after the days of the Devil
They will be the beauty after the ugliness of barbarous times
The Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand turned into light time
We love and share
We will dream dreams and forth

36
When it’s full of the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
The man will experience a second birth
The Spirit will grab the crowd of men
Who communicate in brotherhood
Then announce the end of the Dark Ages
It’s time for a new force of Faith
After the dark days of the beginning of the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Will open the happy days
Man will find the way men
And the earth will be ordered

37
When it’s full of the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Paths go from one end to the other of the earth and the sky on the other side
The forests will again be dense
And deserts have been irrigated
The waters will again become pure
The earth will be like a garden
Man watch over all living
Cleanse it stained
He will feel the earth as his home
And it will be wise thinking of tomorrow

38
When it’s full of the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Shall be as an unresolved
We know everything about the world and body
We heal the disease before it appears
Each healer will self and others
It will be understood that we must help to maintain
And the man after closing time and greed
Open his heart and his purse to the poor
It will feel a knight of the human order
And so it will be a new start time

39
When it’s full of the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
Man has learned to give and share
The bitter days of solitude will be buried
He will believe again in the Spirit
And the barbarians have acquired citizenship
But that will come after the wars and fires
That arise blackened rubble of the towers of Babel
And he took the train grip
That is ordered chaos
And that man finds the right path

40
When it’s full of the Year Thousand that comes after Year Thousand
The man knows that all human beings are bearers of light
And they are creatures to meet
It has built new cities
In heaven on earth and the sea

It will have the memory of what was
And he will read what will
There will be more afraid of his own death
As it will in his life lived several lives
Light and he will never be extinguished.

Source: Book Of Prophecies (From The Eleventh Century)

Sources

(1)http://michelduchaine.wordpress.com

Conflicted Delusion

The hardest thing for some is to remain true to who they are and what they are inside.  I spent years with a lingering sense of doubt about myself, and in this lingering, there was a reflection that attracted a perfect foil for this.  It served as a perfect teacher, an entirely unbending one, but one nonetheless. The difficult part is in seeing how the universe is helping us to grow in the midst of what seems attacks against our very essence by those unable to see or know our inner divine.  The attacks are themselves self created and part of the drama of our delusion. 

The hardest thing perhaps is remaining true to this because we want to keep people calm, happy, or not to step on feelings.  So often we put ourselves last when we should be first.  That may seem like a selfish thing to do, but in putting ourselves last, we have also said to the universe that we do not matter, and in so doing, foils have been sent our way that will reflect this perfectly.  We will have invited others to show us their most broken or hurt part of themselves, and it is known that these parts almost always seek to project their fear or hurt forward in such a way that whatever the frailty is that causes the pain, they wind up believing the fault is in others instead of themselves. 

Until and unless we can abide by our own compass point, sharing the compass with another wont work.  There will be something out of alignment for both them and us.  It will be something that cannot stand, that will result in imbalances no matter what.  A house divided against itself.  So with the best of intentions, there can be the worst of problems.  Until you can decide that the divine within is the single most important part to follow, not just the belief of another who is actively engaged in their own process of cleaning up their own insides, there will be hitches projected outward which we will point to others as the culprit.  We are the culprit.  The great coil of karma is unwinding and this will be turned on its head.  How long will it take to undo the march of thousands of years?  There is no them.  There is only us.

Men must suck it up, be the strong ones, and women the core of compassion and tenderness.  In creating a world like this for ourselves, we have divided out those aspects that reside within all.  Women rob themselves of the natural aggresiveness that was always theirs while men are robbed of their courage to feel and to be sensitive.  It is a house divided against itself.  When we allow the archetypes that once served to heal to rule, they can also serve to divide us simply becuase they were simply a tool.  When there is man and woman instead of human beings, we have a problem.  When we step into the collective consciousness of humankind, there is not a man and a woman but a rich voice made up of all voices. No archetypes present in any significant way save for what we seek in dreaming, waking or asleep.  We are as one voice with many currents and tones.  When we seek to divide, we divide ourselves.  We are here, I believe, to heal the division.  Even Jesus was said to have come to heal the division that had happened in the Garden of Eden.  This saying, spoken by Philip in his gospel, speaks to the reality that Eve and Adam are One and that all attempts at making them one or the other or above another or different from another is the very spark of division.  Within each of us is the first woman and first man.  We are this.  Only this.  Anything else is Maya, illusion, and conflicted delusion.  When one is one aspect and the other another aspect, we have lost it.  We have just sought to grasp the wind.  Silly human!  Be still, and you will know the wind as it was meant to be "grasped."

When kundalini rose, it did not rise with the masculine and feminine dancing around each other.  Its message to me was that their very force was interdependent and when in union, were not two but one.  Whatever existed as a desire to see one and then the other was itself the very force of division, which is situated, structurally at least, in the left hemisphere in our great ability to see differences, parts, pieces.  This is an approach that is great for identifying where a health problem may be emerging, or in knowing how to fix a car or to pick up a leaf, but it is not a way to know how to BE the merged cosmos.  This kundalini, which is not a force or a spirit, is what we are.  For me, I know it is the future self looping back into me in the same way that I have looped back in dream to other times in my life which now seem encased by the past in order to effect ripples of change that have moved through my life.  the future is changed by moving into our past, and this intelligence, this force which entered my awareness was itself an advanced form of what I shall become.  And yet, as I was seeking to explain to my daughter today as we sat talking about how he day went, timelines are very complex things.  The moment a future version of me loops back here to effect change, the future self I will become when it reaches the same approximate point where that future self cam here will be different.  An infinity of lines will have been created just as limtless probable presents, pasts, and futures are being created by every act and decision made.  It is duzzying in its complexity and implications.  This should help you to realize how amazing creative energy is, how boundless and vibrant that it can be.  It is.  But this energetic presence, I know for myself, at least since its emergence, has always been the very essence of union.  to consider that one falls away from the other is not even a consideration since the reality is that life tiself does not know anything BUT the union.  Life force, all life, IS the result of their union.  to go into one being separate from the other is like the mind seeking to play a theoretical game with itself pretending as though it CAN divide them out and pretend to know what the result would be.  I wont even play that game because it is like trying to say that there is a day and night.  Sure, there is a time when the sky darkens and when it lightens, but there is not a point where the two are entirely separate.  they are always joined by infinite gradations of dusk.  they belong to one enother the way a carpet is woven into itself, how silly it is to say "this is where the rug is the masculine strands and this is where there are feminine strands."  they are of a piece and the function of the rug or day and night are because they are of that piece. 

The world may not understand you, may not know what you are or who you are, may even pretend to not know and seek to paint your world one way or another, but in this quiet and calm place of your own wisdom, you reflect into yourself gently and knowingly.  Your power does not exist in others, but in yourself.  Validation by another is itself a form of slavery, a gentle velvet slavery which will, in the right moment, reveal all of the frailties that encompass its making and own karma. Many are made blind by it and will seek their own truth, and they must be free to do so. Even those who seek to make of others what is actually all their own. 


What we say matters.  How we say it matters.  Turning a blind eye to our own words and deeds is itself a blindness that we have played at for eons.  Even as we wind upwards into awakening, this delusion persists.   Even telling ourselves that we are awake and thus different is itself a form of delusional thinking.  We all do it.  To reach that place where such delusions cease is perhaps what we sense is enlightenment.  Getting there is less a destination as it is a continual process of becoming. Like night and day, each moves slowly and gradually into one another.  Evening takes hours to fall, and it takes hours for the dawn to come.  When all of life is a circle, it is silly to say that there is any one point where something becomes another.  They never were not part of one another.  the world hoop is itself always whole, and this was what eluded Black Elk.  He thought he had to heal the world hoop, to heal his People, their hearts and the world.  What he did not realize was that the hoop is only a hoop.  To heal means we must move around this hoop, it means that we must shift our perceptions, our perspective on the wheel.  As we do this, we life from all sides.  We ourselves become more whole in this process, and this image does a very good job of defining just how we are in life. All of life is this circle, and it really is silly to try and make it into a straight line process because it isn't.  Your left brain will allow you to see that you ARE making a line as you walk through your life, but to make it a point A and B thing is folly because we know this is not so.  It is a becoming.  Always.  We make the path as we go, but that path winds upwards. 

When you are clear in all of this, when you ask that the earth show you the truth, just by placing your hand upon it, it will shake.  This is just how powerful our own inner truth is. 

The New Wayshower

Built within the very heart of the All she resides in harmony with her consort, never another but who she is, no separation but an integrated part of her.  In the great body of this All, though, parts of the body do not realize what they are in relation to this great Mother, the divine feminine.  For reasons that are their own, they have been under the gaze of the masculine side of Her.  His feminine has receded just as she has been denied the awareness that is hers. 

We all know how this has played out here.  It has been a very hard time for the feminine.  We have been caught in a wild torrent of denial in coming to our own collective self realization.  It has been difficult to day the least for how the feminine has been treated in this world.  Property.  Powerless.  Denied.  This has been hard.  Very hard.  And certainly there have been billions who have suffered over a long time.  But the tide is changing, and we can know something different if we can just be ready to simply set aside what has been and let the past be the past. 

For the last hundred years, She has been asserting her power, her right to parity in the world. As soon as she began doing this, the days of paternalistic control were numbered.  Slowly, the pieces have been coming together.  Brave women who asked "Yes, but why is it that way?  It can be different!" have been the ones who have helped to bring change to the world.  In the United States, for all our talk of freedom and liberty, we have been marvelously one-sided.  Until we got called on it, and we had to begin examining our talk to match our walk.  Women stepped out from the shadows and into the bright light of awareness.  Her walk was her own.  She won the right to vote, the right to work, the right to question consensus reality.  the right was always hers.  She had to assert it in order for that to happen. And she did it. More voices joined in the chorus and over time, conventions have changed. 

It has pressed for understanding who She is in this new context.  Was the Women's Liberation Movement somehow robbing women of their femininity?  Were men somehow less manly when they chose to stay and care for the children at home instead of going out there and bring home the bacon?  All kinds of questions have been raised in our collective examination of what this new landscape represents to us.  We have been trying to figure it out.  It has been a bit like a set of clothes that was new and fit differently than what we were used to.  Did it look right?  Does it feel right to us where we are headed?  Some of the questions sought to take us back to the safety of convention while others sought, perhaps blindly into some new world.  And yet, even in the seeming dark, we have been feeling for an as-yet unknown that we know.  Deeper down, we know what it is we are looking for.  We are being guided along.  Carefully, gently, certainly.  Powerfully.  Irretrievably. 

What has been a movement of women will be a movement of humans.  In an interesting twist, what women are asking for will deliver to men the very thing they will need as much as the women.  As women have asserted themselves in what may have felt like a more masculine character, so too will men begin, are beginning, to feel their more sensitive natures.  It is okay for women to be more balanced in themselves.  It is okay to carry masculine traits in helping them to manifest their greatest dreams.  And men, too, are now more free to discover parts of themselves that society seemed to suggest was not desirable.   The walls are beginning to soften.  And just now, as I look at the kids I see coming up in college, I see such a mix.  I see men who are not afraid to be gentle, soft, kind and nurturing.  Women are more assertive and they are not considered less womanly.  The men are as masculine as ever.  More balanced.  Less polarized. 

This new movement will continue as our society will continue to change and even build steam.  the result? I think some of it will be hard to predict completely, but its results will be our new experiment in becoming collectively. 

Awakening offers a unique perspective in all of this.  Loosened upon the world, our perceptions become more keen and go beyond mere appearances.  We can see people as they are in their soul-selves.  The soul self is beyond time while also dipping into it.  It is multidimensional.  It is more than just what we are here.  As a result, how we appear here is only one part of a larger story than what the awakened sense or perceive.  It is true that when we pass from this life into the next phase, we tend to appear to others as we were in the prime of our powers in this life.  We associate with the very best of what we were or are in this life.  And in the same way, the soul in this life can appear differently than just what we see on the surface physically.  Someone who is of advanced age may still feel quite young and thus, that will be how they appear to others across vast distances and without benefit of the physical senses.  Or they could appear older.  Or just completely different.  Maybe someone with light hair appears in their soul self as having dark hair.  Short people are tall.  Tall people might be short and stocky.  Dealing with this difference is part of the next step in our sensory experience. It is now a norm rather than an oddity to me since all people are to some extent like this.  We are more than we appear. 

You also will find that what you think you know about what you are is limited by what your own senses provide you and what your own patterning in this life has been.  The feminine is dealing with a kind of identity challenge.  With centuries of masculine dominance the identities of women have been effects by this tide.  However, there is a pure current of the feminine that can be tapped by all of us, and this comes to us from still larger sources. You need only tune it in. You do this by looking within.  This is where women can learn about their deeper feminine identities beyond the effects of the last hundred centuries.  Digging deep through the quantum field, you can discover this part of you.  This goes for men as well as women.  But for women, I think the effect will be particularly healing.  When you become aware of this part of you, you might discover a similar disparity as I described earlier with physical versus soul identity.  I have seen this over and over; what we are on the outside and what we take for IT is often different from what is buried still deeper.  With those with the eyes to see in total innocence and soulfulness, the deeper self can be known, felt, touched upon.  It is a curious thing that another person seeing who you are helps to stir the awareness in yourself.  What this represents is a return to a zero-point, a kind of seeming "pure" state, even though I hate that word because it can be misleading.  This pure state is just your soul.  And your soul is just what it is. And every soul is beautiful.  Sometimes it is different from what you might expect.  My own soul-self was so different in some ways that it was a real challenge to relate.  And yet, I saw aspects of Him in me all along.  He had been popping up throughout my life and other lives, too.  the ego-oriented self had its own say in what it thought he should be based on convention and comparisons and lack of courage. 

I think that's just it.  We have drifted from these soul selves due to a lack of courage.  We fear what others might say if we were just who we are deep down. Maybe we might go into art instead of accounting or law.  Law pays the bills, but leads to a miserable life for a person with such dreams as that.  yet, we tell ourselves, we have to make those compromises.  We make the compromises because we do not yet fully understand that we are actually in charge of what it is we are creating.  Perhaps this is why, over their 20 year writing career, that Jane Roberts and her Husband Robert Butts helped to bring forth the words of Seth which was Jane's channeled or trance self who said over and over "You create your own reality."  It was kind of the source of every book in one way or another.  Perhaps this is because we so needed to hear it over and over until it got locked into the mass self and we began to examine what the ramifications for this might be.  So as we begin to look at this, we might realize that if things are not going so well for us, we can change it by changing our beliefs and feelings about ourselves.  the change that this leads to in how we feel also leads to change to the very events that manifest in our lives.  What was once impossible is suddenly now possible.  As more and more practice this as a kind of magic that would have been persecuted as witch craft in the past hardly leads to a raised eyebrow.  This is a very good development.  When we can be brave to pursue our dreams, we have a better chance in this type of environment or world to see things actually manifest in ways that bring us fulfillment.  We no longer need to huddle in fear within the little cave of our hidden selves. 

So as I step out into what I am, I ask that you be inspired to do the same. I cannot say what it will be like for you or how it will manifest itself.  that, really, is up to you.  It is up to what you believe is possible.  You see, there is a genie inside of you.  And no longer do you need to use this genie to strike back at the injustices done to you. As long as you wield the sword, you will also tend to die by it as well.  But if you hold the sword as a beacon of truth, then the truth will be your guide.  It is, you see, just a slight turn away from how you have been feeling and responding to it.  When you change the rules of engagement, you will change your world.  And this is the message I am bearing to you as I do the very same.  Brave.  Not fearful.  Brave to just be YOU.  that will be enough for you and the rest of the world because who you are inside is needed.  Every woman upon the earth has something so remarkable within that it NEEDS to be brought forward.  Just bring it forward.  Let others gaze into you to tell you what they see.  Let yourself get to know Her.  The same goes for men.  For them, knowing the native current of their compliment will aid in all sorts of realizations.  It will also serve to anchor a reverence for the feminine in the world that may not have been touched in quite the same way before.  And I may not have to tell you that it is time.  It is a marvelously creative time at least potentially. 

And it is in action that all potential is realized.  It is up to you.  In your own way. 

The new Wayshower is the feminine.  She is telling us, informing us, opening us in ways we have not been opened before.  Collectively.  Individually. It is She which will make a big difference in our world.  This will help balance the world, individuals, and pehraps bring about a more sane approach and attitude in the heart of all humankind.  

Bows deep....

The Trap Of Ego

I talk about this subject a good bit....and I do this, I realize, on this morning, because I have not always spelled out just what it is that I feel is important to consider when it comes to ego. Some new thing will rise in my awareness as a result of some real life experience that will bear new awareness to me that I realize I know but have not mentioned.  I often tend to assume people know this....I KNOW people know this deep down, but we don't always know we know.  This is what awakening is, the very core of it, which is moving into knowing, something the Greeks called Gnosis and is the root for the early Christian movement called the Gnostics.  Agnostic means you do not know.  But knowing you do not know is far better a thing then thinking you know when in truth you are substituting a piece of a puzzle where the part seems to fit but does not.  And this is really the challenge in all of this. We seem to have pieces that fit, but have never really fit.  You either take it into yourself and know how it fits inside of you or you don't.  What I say can only matter if it works for you.  If it works for you, great.  If not, then either I am completely off the mark, or you just haven't felt how the thing that it replaces has a shape that you now realize was not just right.  And when it is right, it will flow and fit perfectly as your Essential Self flows into the moment and you just know. 

I know that so much of this can seem like pontificating, and we as a species have had plenty of that.  I am not here to prove anything except to offer at my door a plate full of flowers and bits of nourishment that I have found to work for me.  No one is telling you to take the plate and run with it.  No one is telling you that you will burn if you don't.  I would RATHER you deny the truth vociferously and bear the badge of your own RIGHT to do so as a sovereign being and be a little off on the details than to follow mindlessly the rantings of a wild man.  At least you are exercising discernment which does not happen when someone says you are going to burn or that you simply do not know or can't know because you are fallen, or missing that ingredient that makes it possible for you to glimpse the truth of the kingdom, or cosmic consciousness, of divine awareness.  All of this is IN you.  As the Oracle of Delphi said, the only way we know the gods is by knowing ourselves. 

The problem with ego is that you will never get rid of it.  You wont get rid of it because of the important purpose that it serves.  I say important because it is.  But that importance is itself limited in a certain sense.  Ego plays a role in divine awareness.  It always will.  Without this awareness, you will not be able to experience anything as being individual within you. Ego itself is, I suspect, a natural outgrowth of our gift given to us from the Prime Creator.  If you want to give that gift back, then I suppose you might find the path back to a primordial state, but I rather think that this is like a bell having rung.  I don't think, in knowing individuality, that you can ever really go back to a place where there is no observer, no part of you that looks out and knows itself as you.

There is a problem with some eastern practices or perspectives that involve ego death.  This feels to me to be more a kind of self loathing than anything doing directly with something practical.  For if it were, the path to being ego-less would be a straight line that would lead us all perfectly to a place where we could dispense with ego and know the supreme state of cosmic consciousness.  Most things in life tend to be very simple once you get down to them.  We only want to make things complicated when we ourselves do not wish to glimpse their truth. When we are ready, my experience has been each and EVERY time that it all gets incredibly simple.  Simple like how things are simple in childhood.  By this I do not mean diminished capacity or lack of knowing, for children know things that adults have forgotten.  Childhood is remarkably nuanced, unencumbered by the false biases that have grown up by our mountains of hurt or wrongs done to us or some perceived slight.  In childhood, we are more clear without needing to call something a given thing.  We experience it AS IT IS without judging it or running it through all of our filters of mind and belief, which may or may not conform or align to the divine within us.  I am not suggesting that the eastern practices are somehow tainted and not worth learning from.  Learn, certainly, but first use your discernment, see if that piece fits.  It is up to you.  What fits today may not fit tomorrow as your insides slowly shift and conform to that part of you. 

The one inconvenient reality of ego is that your higher self has an ego.  Some call it the super ego.  It is an extension of the earthbound ego. The importance of the higher self in my own practice is that it serves as a template for me to become.  I don't need anyone else's say-so on how to be as long as I am doing my best to follow my inner higher self.  Here, I am doing what the Oracle of Delphi admonished people to do; to know themselves and in so doing, they would know the God and Goddesses within them.  if you have a superego, then doesn't it make sense that all this talk of eradicating the ego is simply a huge waste of time?  Okay, look, I can feel your resistance to this, and I am saying all of this in the way I am saying for a reason, to get you to identify your reactions and to then look at the matter at hand perhaps in a different way. 

It's not a waste of time to work on ego.  Certainly ego has been given this inner throne inside of us so that it keeps the core or Essential Self from taking its rightful place in our awareness.  But in so doing, ego is not sent to the gallows.  In moving it out of its central position, we allow for a more productive arrangement within us to happen.  Imagine having a garden full of beautiful flowers.  You want to provide protection and privacy for that garden by putting in a stone wall.  It serves to keep out the animals that would feed upon it and it gives you quiet and solitude, all of which you like when it comes to this beautiful garden.  And yet, it is as though we have not placed our rock walls around the periphery, but straight through the middle of our gardens.  Instead of helping to unify the self, it in fact divides it.  This does not make much sense since you have to stumble over this rather rigid wall just to get to see the poppies or the lilies. It makes sense to have the wall encircle your garden, don't you think?  And while a wall will always serve as a division, if you are going to have such divisions, then make them in such a way that they make some sense.  Perhaps, in the end, the wall does come down or you have many entries into the garden.  The self knows that the divisions can sometimes be arbitrary and as a result, no wall every keeps out what must enter in in order for you to know fulfillment and inner knowing.  The wall is more the result of intention.  If you intend to keep ego centrally located, it will quite naturally serve to blot out a central awareness of the soul as infinite and eternal and wedded to a much broader form of consciousness that leads you to the gods and goddesses within that the Oracle of Delphi was hinting at.  Like the God and Goddess within you. 

It is true that in order for this type of awareness to flood into your being, you have to set ego aside.  When I say ego, I am talking about the part of you that is more earthbound in nature.  You have a higher expression of that same ego that exists outside of time and duality and it is a more advanced form or version of your own earthly ego. the only challenge with the earthly ego is that it serves to filter and blind you to the broader awareness that you need in order to make more considered decisions about what you are and what the world itself is.  The ego in its earthly role has a tendency to blind you and in so doing keeps you thinking that you are more limited than you are, and also limits your awareness and experience of vast amounts of energy that is your birthright.  It is in knowing and feeling this energy directly that you will be able to know the bliss that exists as a natural state of being within the current of energy that is the universe.  With ego in the way, this awareness can sometimes be blotted out entirely. 

The best thing is to cherish who you are in entirety, forgive your shortcomings and move forward. Move forward by giving ego the assurance that you value its contribution, but that it wont sit on the throne of your awareness.  If you allow this to happen, ego will feed off the energy flowing in at that spot and it will grow slowly but surely into the monster it has been for most people and become a huge stumbling block.  Just let it be like your trusted advisor who goes back to its quarters without trying to run the show.  Let it come and go.  That is the role of ego for now. 

Your higher self form of ego is that part of you that touches the infinite.  Until you use it to do this, you may not believe me.  Your experience alone will tell you whether this is true or not.  If you know bliss from awakening, for example, your higher self has already been in the picture since the higher self is firmly rooted in the soil of the bliss field. The superego or higher expression of your own ego here in your earthly focus is an extension of your own troublesome ego here.  It isn't that one is an outgrowth of one or the other.  Super ego does not give birth to smaller earthly ego.  They exist, outside of time simultaneously.  So to say one causes the other to be is an irrelevant question to ask. If you do, you will go scurrying to find proofs that this is so in in the process, will cobble together some facts or appearances that seems  to fit the picture your own mind is seeking to create.  They are of a piece.  If you want a model to think of them, think of them as being like a cone, for this is how I have experienced it and it seems to work pretty good thus far.  One one end of the cone awareness is very focused, which is good in its own way.  You need this sharpness of focus, but it serves sometimes to be less aware of the broader picture that is available on the other end of the cone of consciousness which is what you call your higher self.  Consciousness expands outward and the part of you that you call ego is present in the higher self as a form of self awareness and identification of itself as individual.  In this state, though, the higher self knows that it can flow into the consciousness of the sun and flow out of it, merging directly into the consciousness that makes up the sun while never having its own identity blotted out or destroyed in any way whatsoever.  The difference between your higher self and your earthly selves' ego is that earthly ego does not have this assurance.  Ego, partnered with your present awareness tells or suspects that you are limited even though the genie in the bottle is but inches from your grasp. As you let go and surrender, consciousness naturally begins to flow out from the center point of this cone into the broader portion of the cone of your consciousness. There is no end to what your surrendering to your own natural self will do in bringing you higher and higher levels of awareness and experiencing of broader forms of energy.  There is not place where this cone ends.  It is infinite.  As you remove the hurdles to your awareness and allow the inner surface of this cone to be entirely free from bumps and points of resistance, your own consciousness will be free to move into ever broader realms of your being in and out of time.  You will reach places that there are simply no words for (and thank goodness for that).  But all along this path of expanding awareness is a sense of ego, and this ego does not strike you as being like the ego you have here on earth because the ego you have here has some work to do to reshape and mold and reform. 

Seeking to get rid of ego will only result in it popping up somewhere else inside of you.  Evidence for this is present in the psychological experiments that were done by both the Nazi's, Russia, the United States and Cananda in their now-infamous mind control experiments.  Central to the Nazi discovered mind control was a kind of crushing of the self by trauma.  It was discovered that if enough pressure was applied, the self would fracture into many smaller parts.  these parts were not random in any way.  Each portion that broke would have its own ego, its own core self, its own emotional self, mind, and all the rest.  Each portion would often serve to express different aspects of the personality but would have all the parts normally found in any fully created psyche.  the self fractured in holographic fashion, which makes perfect sense that it would do this.  It was the goal of the mind controllers to then manage these individual selves for their own ends.  Now the only reason why I am even mentioning this is that it points to the reality of what will happen if you seek to destroy ego.  You simply cannot do it.  Seek to kill it, and it will merely fracture off five of itself in order to survive such a hard blow to itself and in the process you will have a mush more difficult situation than you had before.  Try knitting all these pieces back together.  This can be done, certainly, but the effort to knit ego back together will be a greater challenge prior to the trauma induced. 

The challenge that  denial of ego produces is a rubber banding effect within the psyche most often.  What we repress will come back in a dysfunctional way.  Ego will become exaggerated, will explode, only to go silent again.  You will keep telling yourself that thank goodness it was just one small explosion and you have it under control the rest of the day, but there is still a problem and it will continue to be a problem until you align with the reality of how you are made. 

It is much more healthy to admit and understand you have go than seeking to banish it entirely.  Facing up to ego is much more productive because you learn how to deal with it on a day by day basis out in the open instead of seeking to pretend that it is dead and gone.  Don't do it---it will only lead to problems down the line and you will be chiding yourself for believing you got rid of ego when in fact you hadn't. Your mind will then go to another method or means for destroying ego, all with the same results as before.  So don't do it.  Ask yourself how you can arrange your awareness so that ego is present but not holding the reins in your life.  You can have a much more nuanced and peaceful sense of self if you will do this.  Notice I am not telling you HOW to do this.  There are no techniques.  You simply have to begin telling yourself that you will allow ego to step aside each and every moment.  Your own insides will then begin to take a different form and ego will be less of a problem in an incremental way.  Slow growth is better than seeking to have a lightening fast explosion of growth sometimes, even though these spurts do happen, they just happen more from the higher self than from your own earthbound intention.  You are still a pup learning the ways of cosmic consciousness.  You have a task before you and you are learning to undo centuries worth of thinking that goes beyond just this one life but the slow and gradual accretion of material that has served to create the edifice that is who you are.  Be easy on yourself, find the sense of devotion within that is married to love and compassion and apply that to yourself.  You have all the time in the world, and what you do not complete in this life will be continued in the next. Your spirit will see to it that it happens.

In truth, most people only come by this ego issue through what feels to them (and me) as a kind of collapse of the self, what some call "destruction" (Jesus used this term in describing it in a lesser known gospel) and while it may feel sudden and devastating, it is only in direct proportion to how centrally installed ego was in the first place.  But ego does not die.  Its just not as important as it was before.  A new feeling of importance comes about as a result of this that is not so narrow and monodimensional as before.  Suddenly, the self emerges as a this rich and wonderful thing that it is deeper down.  The ego simply can only deal with things in the way that it did when asked to be the gatekeeper for so much.  Here you can fall in love with yourself in a way that does not court narcissism but instead glories in the beauty of all life, which quite naturally includes yourself.  If nature is beautiful and wonderful, then being a part of nature, you yourself are naturally a part of this, but the difference is that you are less invested in the old positions of where you were when ego was so central.  With ego its all about me.  With ego to the side, it is all about we.  If you want to simplify it even more, think of ego as being the masculine current in you and your infinite self as the feminine.  Or the ego is the left brain and the infinite as the right brain.  They each do different things, and they do things much better when they are in union, when they are working cooperatively together.  And reflecting in this way, by being able to work cooperatively with those of the opposite sex will naturally reflect a willingness and ability to allow your own insides to work cooperatively also, for we each have this dual character inside of us.  We each have the yin and yang, the Shakti and Shiva within us.  It is the cosmic current, and we can put all kinds of labels and attach all kinds of images to them, but they each stand beyond all efforts to pigeon hole them.  All efforts to do so only point in their general direction.  The best way is to know them within yourself.  But once you allow the man to step back, the ego, he allows the woman within to do what she does so well, and she can only do this when the loud ego silences himself.  then her quieter and gentler nature that is her grace and softness to come forward.  Strength is not defined in how strident you are in your opinions, nor in how powerful your ego is. It is also in how compassionate you can be, how much you allow yourself to flow and be at peace.  It is only when we are at peace that the nurturing of the self begins in the same way that a woman can nourish new life in her in a physical way.  Only when we are in a stable and peaceful environment can new life, new ideas, new insight emerge.  Only then are we free to imagine, to go beyond ourselves, to go beyond what we thought (in ego) what we were capable of.  The feminine side I am talking about will always leave the ego side in the dust.  Every time.  And yet, the infinite self is so unbounded, that it is not capable of being able to fit all of this potential into a framework that has a chance of making its entry into physical reality....be it a child, an idea, a school of thought, a new product, or a way of bringing a method into your life for supporting this glorious flow that is the beauty of who you are. 

So don't fool yourself.  Be honest with yourself.  You are indeed stuck with ego, but ego need not be stuck in your very core awareness.  Utilize ego for what it is so good at, but do not make it your god.  If you do, then you will reinforce each other and then it will grow to ridiculous heights.  It just isn't that important in the final analysis.  You will be much more effective a person if you let the flow of the universe into your life.  Stop worrying over how it is all going to work out.  Let the flow more room.  If you do, things will begin to happen much more effortlessly.  You will have begun to anchor a much more effective cooperative mindset and soulset that will facilitate this great mystery that you may have thought was mumbo jumbo five minutes ago but are willing to bring back into your life.  This is the seeming magic that humans keep wanting to believe in.  It is the idea that incredible things can happen if we just let them happen.  And in being open to their happening, they will to the degree that you self realize and examine your competing beliefs that block their being able to happen. Some of the smartest people have the hardest time with this because this is so easy to do.  they think that nothing worthwhile comes easily, but here they are simply wrong.  there ARE things that will come with great ease, but their entry has been blocked just as surely as a gatekeeper within has denied them at the periphery of your being. 

So the garden wall itself begins to tumble down and my analogy is seen as a limited construct simply to get you to a certain place, after which you must abandon the wall and realize that the flowers that you think are yours are also others.  You will then see in the crumbling of that wall that your sense of identify never goes away, it merely refines itself into a much more grand and nuanced sense of self that has nothing to prove and that can move mountains if given half the chance.  I have this happen all the time now as a regular feature of my experience.  It happened yesterday as a matter of fact and it helped to clear the way for a project I am doing with a student whose work will be greatly facilitated through the connection that just showed up as I was displaying work in an out of the way location and entirely out of context with the work that this person does that I met.  The intention had been out there and it was only a matter of time.  It only took a few months, and in terms of the project, the timing could not have been better in all truth.  If you are locked into what the ego believes is possible, then you will always be limited.  Let ego step aside and allow the infinite self to show you the miraculous big and small things that can happen effortlessly.  You may even know people in your life who always seem able to get things done.  They seem just lucky, and you might find yourself feeling jealous or even angry at how easy it is for these people to do what they do.  You might even think you have very good reasons for knowing WHY they can get things done.  Maybe they are rich.  Maybe their wealth somehow puts them in touch with all the right people somehow.  But have you ever wondered how that person manifested their wealth to begin with?  Regardless of how they came into it, they attracted this in one way or another.  Once you tear down your bias towards these people whom you feel jealousy towards, the sooner you can begin to learn from them.  The secret is not some form of privilege, although certainly this may appear so on the outside.  Eventually if you follow the current back far enough, it goes to the headwaters of the soul.  All of it does.  No exception.  And if you can think in this way, you can remove the bias that keeps you stuck where you are thinking that the world is just unfair and some people have it and others do not because of something material in their lives that makes it so.  And yes, the appearance of something like material wealth might seem to be a cause, but it is only a symptom.  Letting your pride go for a minute will open more doors than standing beating your head against the wall. 

The trap of ego is the trap you set for yourself.  You can have too much of it and that is a problem, or you can have too little and believe that its gone and done for.  Either side of this equation there is too much imbalance.  The trick is in being honest about what IS.  This can be known in the moment, right here, and right now.  Keeping your intent in the right place will assist you greatly as this all unfolds in your life.  Whether you collapse ego suddenly or wear it away as it slips to the side, either way, you are setting up a new arrangement of self that is much more conducive to the universal flow that is your birthright. 

Manifest

When I first had my awakening experience, one of the things I was keenly aware of was this new energy moving through me.  It was conscious, I knew, yet I could not explain how I knew this for the fact that this was something that I sensed within.  We are notoriously distrustful of our insides, and if we are not busy feeling that way, we can also be uncertain about HOW we feel.  The truth, I think, is that most of us wind up being like a basket where we carry all sots of notions and feelings, good and bad.  Some serve us, some don't.  But sensing what you are is so very important for it leads to feeling more solid about who you are and what you are.  When you do that, I think that you reach a place of peace and in that peace you can feel things that might have escaped your notice previously. This was so for me in awakening.  It was as though some new channel opened up inside of me...like I had this great piece of stereo equipment but never touched this one dial.....and that dial seemed a big mystery.  One day, for whatever reason, that dial responds to touch and suddenly the volume moves up.  The sound is suddenly richer as this knob adds a whole new dimension to this marvelous piece of equipment.  The big a-ha has just happened.

I soon realized that the energy moving through me was a negative and positive energy.....one cooler or more receptive while the other was dynamic, directing and "warmer" in a way.  One moved into the other and both seemed to hold one another in an energetic embrace. This was the universe, this was cosmic consciousness. Using language to describe all of this or to relate to it can be tricky because this energy is without form even though it gives rise to form.  I have long believed that we have to be careful about the words we use because they create a nonspecific picture in people's minds that can be interpreted many different ways.  When I discuss art projects with my students in the sculpture class that I teach at a local university, I require them to provide a drawing.  I do this because my experience has shown just how poor words are at conveying information.  A picture is incredibly efficient, and it brings to mind the saying "a picture is worth a thousand words."   It was Philip in his newly discovered gospel in the desert of Egypt in the Nag Hammadi scrolls where he said the same thing, which is that we need to be careful about the words we use, for words create images and we then can become prisoners to these images.  So while it may sound terribly pedantic to you that I say all of this, it is important for reasons you may not even realize.  Words can govern how you think.  Words can free just as they can imprison.  I want you to consider that when I say masculine and feminine, I am being very specific but I am also being very broad.  I know that what we see here now in this place has ever higher expressions in other realities.  Our own awareness is capable of glimpsing these realities.  Thales, the Presocratic philosopher once said that "All things are full of gods" and I firmly feel that he was referring to what I glimpsed in the process of my awakening, which is that all of existence is multidimensional in nature and that what exists in us here exists in still "larger" scales of consciousness. Everything is connected, and it is this connection that allows for every part to communicate to all other parts.  It is what happens when you are able to manifest something in your life, too.  Imagine this quantum ripple that spreads out at light speed through all of matter, like some giant search engine of the soul to find the perfect thing to match your wish, to help you to manifest it.  I am jumping ahead of myself though because there is more to fill you in on first.

What I knew in the process of awakening was that the energy was a teacher living inside of me, showing me the one thing that as it would turn out, would be reflected in nearly every aspect, every nook, every cranny of existence.  It took a while to understand how this could be so.....and while the knowing came in a flash, it took some time to see how it applied itself throughout life. It showed me that it was like a two-stranded energy that wove itself through the center of all life, much like a necklace of beads is held by a cord.  It is this cord, you see, that is the essence of all life, is the soul of the cosmos, the bearer of life and light to everything that is.  And when I say "life" I am not speaking only of sentient life.  No. The universe is a living thing since its body is filled from top to bottom with this energy.  The difference is that most people simply are not aware of it.  The language of the cosmos is feeling, and this is one thing that you will come face to face with when you go through an awakening which is that you now have added sensing ability or awareness.  You don't just SEE the universe, you FEEL it.  This is what all the monks and sages and gurus have been talking about in relation to this seemingly elusive state that leads to samadhi.  When this energy filled me, it showed me how it was present in everything.  It was a yin and yang principle.  Just as in thermodynamic hot moves to cool, as positive moves to negative, so too does this energy in all things.  I very much feel that this principle can be seen reflected throughout the cosmos.

So take manifestation.  You wish for something, you let it go, and it eventually comes back to you as a fulfilled wish. Consider for a moment that as the universe is itself neutral, a kind of living canvas upon which you create your life, that the energy of manifestation is the result of two seeming opposites working together to help make your wishes happen......two energies that follow the content of your own energy to a "T."  This means that if part of you believes, for example, that you can manifest abundance, but that you may also have a competing belief that deep down you aren't worthy of it somehow, you send that out with each wish and you wind up with abundance  with strings or little glitches attached to it.  Maybe its a great money deal that winds up having some problem that emerges somewhere in the process.  Its that feeling like "I know I deserve good things, but it seems things always go to !*%# in the end!"  This is the result of some competing issue that is in the way that helps to form events, and the universe, being neutral, takes the energy as it comes and fashions you this event or opportunity in order to aid your fulfillment.  In dropping away the competing beliefs and resolving those things, suddenly your own being becomes a clearer transmitter of information to the universe.  The glitch is gone.  The "yeah but" is edited out of the situation.

But about this yin and yang, though.....

Consider that just as your own body has two currents of masculine and feminine that rise right up into the brain and crown, the hemispheres of your brain are themselves also formed and informed by this same energy.  The two energies cross in the head where the bliss of union is experienced by the awakened  yogi's and yogini's.  The left hemisphere is masculine, the right is feminine.  The masculine is linear, rational, and is most often good at language. It can pick out the tree in the forest, but his eyes glaze over when you look at the forest.  The feminine, which is the right brain, is holistic, intuitive, irrational, and sees the forest and can be bored looking at just one tree. Brought together, however, and there is a spark and a flame of inspiration kindled. Here great ideas are born. No, the right brain is not the artistic side because in order to make art you need a way to express it.  The right brain very much needs the left brain to help give it form.  The feminine turns to her consort and says "Oh I am feeling something so deep.....but its so deep that I just can't quite put it to word....." and the left brain is able to put it to word because that is what it does.  It is great at being able to hone in on one thing and identify it. Left alone, though, the left brain can chop and dice the universe until its so may little pieces....and it will only be able to see each piece, not how all the pieces go together.  I needs the right brain for this, the one who can magically conceive the implicate order in all things.  How she does this is not rational in the least.  Its almost like magic.  But together, they do a wonderful job of helping to create.  They are the very engine of creation. And when it comes to manifesting, I am seeing the same circular loop of the masculine and feminine energies working together.

When you wish for something, it most often comes about as a result of the left brain being able to give form and order to what it is that you want.  Here, there is a brilliant spark that is made, but this is all that it is for now.  This spark must be released entirely and allowed to go out into the "world" into the receptive realm of the feminine.  It is interesting because the Hindus often refer to the feminine as being the world.  Jesus, in the Gnostics texts speaks of the world as being the Great Mother. The native Americans call earth "Mother" also.  But what I am talking about is the energetic principle IN the world.....in all things......and as the spark of intention is released, it moves through the inner world and is nourished into existence, into full being by the body of the feminine force.  This can emerge as an object, event, or idea. The more that the spark can be utterly released, the better able it is to move freely through the universe to find its moment of conception in the feminine force.  Then, in perfect timing, the feminine brings forth this new thing that is the result of your wish, your hope, your intention. Because the feminine force is so broad, so infinite, she can give birth to anything in the same way that a woman will conceive and then give birth to a child.  This child might be short or tall, dark or light headed.  She might bring forth twins.  Part of what she will give birth to will be how the spark was sent, the content of that spark.  She is capable of bringing forth such a profusion of things, you see, and just as a woman can do this, so too does the mother of the world do this.  Her presence is in everything, and when you touch her with your intention, your intention winds up touching everything.  Instantly.  Holographically.  Events can take months to come to fruition and they can also happen in a flicker of an eye.  What makes the difference?  When you are able to release a block in you that is keeping something from taking place in the world around you, you may find just as I did that this is when the phone starts ringing with someone asking you if you would like to take part in an opportunity that you had been wishing you could be involved in for years.....and in that moment, the world didn't just align with you, but merely was able to receive the right message devoid of any competing material.  Maybe it was that you felt that you would love to try some new kind of work but that you might not be good enough at it......who knows really, for the reasons can be legion, and all I can do is pluck examples for why this might be so in order for you to begin to understand how this all works.  But when you remove the blocks, the energy flows.  And it flows from one pole to the other pole, from intention to manifestation, from masculine to feminine.  This, then, is the very engine of creation and manifestation.  When you can bring more energy through your system, this speeds up the process of manifestation as everyone who has had an awakening speaks of or experiences.  In fact, the lag time between through and manifestation can be measured in seconds or minutes, not days, months, or years.  If you can allow yourself to FEEL it as deeply as possible, as vividly as you can, you are literally magnetizing your own energy field so that the universe conforms to that image.  The more energy you move through you, the faster this happens for the simple fact that energy is magnetic.  Electricity creates magnetic fields, for example, and part of your own biological functioning does involve weak electrical fields. Your own iron rich blood helps to build and propagate an electromagnetic field around your body which we all refer to as the human aura.  For those who can see them, you can read all kinds of material present in thought, feeling, and even in the biological functioning of the body.  I know this because I began seeing auras when I was 18 and was a careful observer of all that I saw.

This is how your own brain works, two hemispheres in consort together to bring the light of inspiration. They are themselves manifestations of the yin and yang principle in your own body, in the giant filing cabinet and control center that helps organize information in your physical organism.  It is how you fall in love.  It is how new life is formed, and it is how the universe is threaded with these seeming opposites which in truth are aspects of one another.  In the particle/wave duality, we know that while these two states are different, they are one. I write about this in my book Waking The Infinite in terms of the particle/wave duality, and consciousness itself also exhibits traits that fit very well into the notion of the finite particle and the infinite wave.  We are both. When these two forces are in harmony manifestation can happen much quicker.  What happens when your brain works together?  Inspiration happens.  What happens when a man and woman are in harmony together?  Pure bliss.  When the two are in harmony within you, this union of yourself brings their union as energetic forces.  Quite naturally, this union creates ecstasy or bliss, and this is just what all the yogis seek and describe as the ultimate in self realization.  This bliss is orgasmic in nature, the very moment which is conception in the physical body, and which is inspiration in the energy body.  Normally, in the physical, this orgasmic energy is expressed or experienced as a release.  In the energy body, however, it is not limited and can build in potential in awareness so that it becomes a standing wave whose crest does not break.  As long as these two remain in your awareness in union, their energy remains as their very essence which is bliss. When this standing wave is present, all who awaken find that synchronicities and unusual events take place in rapid succession.  The world suddenly begins to be much more responsive in a moment by moment way.  Manifestation is now no longer just a spark, but is now an ongoing flow of events.  You are now living a life that is a discovery of what is possible in this new terrain. This is the engine of creation, and just as the creator's own continuous union within supports the universe, so too does your own continuous union within support creation at the level of your life.  It is true, then, that you are learning the basics of creation.  For creation to continue as a river flows without drying up it requires this same continuous attention.  The fulfillment is the result of your own creation. Again, Creation 101.

This same aspect can be seen as operating on so many levels.  Perhaps it may seem that all of this is just a convenient way to see things.  If you feel into it, perhaps you too can begin to experience this directly.  Everything resolves into the dance of the yin and yang.....all threaded through creation, all present at every level.  All is love, all is focused in this dance of gazing one into the other in the greatest secret that will ever be revealed to you.  It is, in truth, THE secret, for they are mother and father of them all.  if you know them at the smallest level, you know them at the largest.  Their presence as the mechanism for manifestation.  From the subatomic to the cosmic.  So when you are wondering why things happen as they do, consider the content of the masculine pulse and what it contains, which is the light of your intention.  It is both divine as well as karmic.  Upon its wave your awareness and intention rides.  Then, just as importantly, consider the content of the feminine within you.  The more free you
are from hitches and issues, the more at peace you are and the more peace will come to you.  As more peace comes to you, this becomes a naturally self reinforcing condition. Trust it, lean on it, devote yourself to it and always seek its grace, it unending capacity to forgive and allow you a path towards ascension, which is assured if you are willing to take it.

The energy is circular. It builds as long as the union remains  As awareness remains balanced on the quantum wave, you will see the presence of it in your life. This is the greatest love, the love that someone once told me "is you and the universe."  We are all connected by this. We are all this.

Nemasté

A Beautiful Way To See Energy

We can't seem to help but divide things out according to their ying and yang-ness. Its our nature to divide things up and sometimes even see them out of context with their larger environment....which of course tends to render the thing being observed as largely meaningless except in the most limited of ways.

But consider the act of bringing them together.

Male energy strikes me as being like a linear vector-based line.  It flows from one point to anther point.  It can be logical, simple, but very potent in that simple straight-line quality.  It also makes it naturally penetrating, vibrant, alive.  However, taken alone, its like a thread without continuity.  It is a light beam that has not reached any conclusion or remains just as it is like our beam of light travelling through space.  He seems to need something more.

Female energy is like a circle.  It folds in on itself.  It moves around to its end. It creates a perfect sphere.  It creates a world that is mysterious, hidden, even. It does not seek conclusion but resides perfectly well within mystery.  It is inclusive, focused on seeing and knowing wholes as  it continually nurtures and forms new things. But as such, it can reside within so much mystery that it has a hard time being able to discern just what mystery it is seeing.  This can lead to a feeling of inaction or uncertainty.  She seems to need something more.

When paired, the vector of the male merges with the sphere of the female and they change.  Their energy now is a spiral.  Each brings their own tendency into this unity and as the feminine seeks to turn back on herself, the male pushes her forward.  As the male seeks to move forward, he is drawn back in what is a perfect merging of the two energies or qualities.

This movement is a perfect model for consciousness, evolution, and all life.  It shows up, not surprisingly in all manner of life forms from seashells to galaxies.  The Greeks found that it is so pervasive a model that they were able to create something called the Golden Mean, which is a study on proportions.  The way your hand is proportioned has a relationship to the proportion found in spiral galaxies.  The distance from your nose to your eye is proportional to the rest of your body in a very specific sequence of numbers that are seen all through nature. The curve of a fern tip is reflected in the curl of a wave not just in similarity but in how the curve actually behaves.  Its more than just a similarity, it is a series of relationships that behave similarly through all of nature.  For me, this suggests a deeper relationship at work, a kind of masterwork, a design that is inherent in natural things. For myself, I see that this is the force of the feminine and masculine working together to help form and forge physical reality.

The spiral.  It is what we are in our most harmonious state.  Moving outward, moving inward. Turning around, speeding to conclusion.