Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The Life Of A Book

Books are funny things.  They hold something of value between page one and the back cover, are incredibly challenging to put together, require numerous edits, go from great to terrible at the tip of a hat, and then wander back into wonderful just as mysteriously sometimes....and on top of that, the book has to be put into a process where it is "shopped" to various publishers.  Some of the greatest books of all time had dozens of rejections.  These stories are legend.

I took the step recently of finding someone who I think is well suited for helping me to polish this book so that it can have the greatest chance of being accepted by a publisher.  It is a daunting task since when I presented the manuscript to the editor she explained that because my margins were wide and my font and spacing was small, what had been a 350 page edit job with 350 pages remaining after the clearing away of material still resulted in my having a 500 hundred page book given a standard "cut" or size.  I swallowed hard and decided I wasn't going to let the applecart get upturned.  So I need to now cut this work down in HALF.  Again.


This book has been a lifework in a sense.  It has charted my awakening and has been there for the discoveries made along the way that I think will help bring more depth and dimension to our understanding of the process of awakening.  Maybe that is a bit of hubris on my part, but there are some key elements that I am pointing out in the book that I think will help us all in getting a slightly better grip on all of this from the beginning as well as the deeper waters once we are ready to begin the process of shedding the dross, of letting go and "doing" what it is we most need to do, which is learning to love and BE love.  This means being able to surrender.  Reaching new heights certainly involves this as part of the catalyst towards powerful change.  So I am hopeful that I can go back into the book as it is and extract the most essential and trim this down even more.  I am mulling the ways to do this now in an unhurried way.  I don't want the book to be trimmed down to the point where it feels clipped or too short.  Whatever it winds up being in the end will most likely need to be an entree into other books on the same subject.  The first book really needs to knock it out of the park, though, if you are going to get another book published anytime soon.  the truth is, there are thousands of books that wind up not being accepted.  The case must be made for why this work is so special that it deserves to be on the shelves of hundreds of thousands of people across the world.  It is that kind of daunting. So you do your best, and whatever happens happens.  For me, the focus isn't even on that right now.  I am more focused on honoring the process I went through and developing it into a story that helps to point out important aspects and elements of the awakening process.  This need not be something that is out of the reach of regular people, and it isn't -  given how many people are waking up today.

The truth is, I have been a very visual person for most of my life.  I have had trouble with words.  they have been so limiting to me....I can say so much more with an image. that old saying that a picture is worth a thousand words is entirely correct.  But now I have to make words say what I so need them to say.  I have to turn myself inside out and remake what I am and make it come off effortless.  It has to be a masterwork regardless of who picks it up to publish or even if I wind up self publishing.  The bottom line here is I believe in what it is I am doing so much that I am willing to do all of this just in order to get the story out in front of you.  If I can go at it that way, then I willhave the oomph to push this to where it needs to go.  For now, it is my story.  I often think how I would write it so that if one of my children were to undergo this, what would I want most to tell them, to impart that would help them the most? In a way this book Is for my children; for all of those who lean into the unknown in order to feel the breeze of the new filling them.  If I am going to do that, each mark and stroke will have to matter while keeping my own authentic voice.  

It's a mystery.  But it is the only one that satisfies me, brings me focus, salvation, aid and hope.  It is me turned into a message written on the cave wall, the stelle, the papyrus or in the stars.  It is going to be just what it needs to be and it is now time to take this to the next level and seek to give the book its voice even as I take away parts that keep it from feeling ponderous.  You really can say too much.

As Fall gives way to Winter, I pray for clear eyes, clear skies, and a nice warm bed where I can sit for hours on end with this great secret of a book until it is finished and as good as I can make it for what it needs to be.

Good night all of you....

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