Sunday, October 21, 2012

Fear & Kundalini

From time to time I notice the search terms that are used to find the site.  All of it is an anonymous, just so you know, and from time to time I notice some things that show up from time to time.

I have written about fear before, and how this affects our experience of awakening, also known as the force that we call kundalini.  It is very easy to see this as some outside force coming into us, and I know how this can create fear.  There are many accounts about this experience of fear.  I don't know that I am so good at explaining how to eleviate your fear, except to use myself as an example as well as to mention how others have dealt with it.

Fear is a funny curious thing.  It is like a creature that stalks us at the edge of the wood, and the more we give in to it, the more it has us.  The more it has us, the more we are IT.  The way out of fear is by simply letting it go and doing what we can to see things differently.  Sometimes, this is achieved through a simple act of acceptance.  Other times, it might mean facing fear, and other times, it is by way of some other method.  But whatever the means, it is all very useful and productive for you because fear fragments while its opposite, love, unifies. Our purpose I believe is to seek love and know ourselves in our highest possible light.

For me, in the end, dealing with fear was a simple letting go.  This letting go led to still more surrender, and surrender pretty well became the path.  Whenever I was most succesful in reaching the divine within was when I surrendered the most.  It is very much is like falling back into someone else's arms whom you are not completely sure is even there to catch you.  It isn't that trusting in the universe is a noble trait, it is more that when you DO trust the universe to catch you and support you, it has a way of wrapping itself around that need or hope or belief or want.  If you can be clear about this, like a crystal clear stream whose depths can be seen in the most certain of ways, you can be assured that it will do as you need.  Let nothing intervene between your hope and its manifestation, and it will cohere to your intent as you had hoped for it.  It has to do with what you believe and how you feel, which also includes the material that is shoved off to the side for the time being.  All of this creates an energetic snap shot and all of that material is used to create the picture, the projhection or manifestation.  I have likened manifesting to being like channeling the energy of the divine through you like water through a garden hose....except we have bits of dirt, our karmas that cling to the insides of this hoese.  We get upset when that water comes out muddy, but its just the karma mixing in with the divine, and HOW you ask and pray for is also the sum total of all that you are in your energy body and being.  If you do not like how things are turning out, you need only begin to get curious about what is inside of you.  I promise that it can be a wonderfully liberating experience and is THE work we have set before us.  Once we can refine ourselves in this way then we will see what we want and what is manifest as being much closer to one another.  Time to let those old issues fall away.  They were hitchhikers to your happiness, ultimately derailing your trip and sending you into uncertain places where you asked yourself each time "Why on earth do I always wind up in the swamp lowlands of my being like that?  Why do I always respond the same way to that stuff???".  This is the language of the cosmos and of every realm you will enter into in countless lives and realities, so being able to catch the little slurs in your cosmic speech will help you greatly in helping to bring you what you want, need, and ardently wish for (and I for one can attest that once the barriers are removed it can happen INSTANTANEOUSLY).  Knowing this and using this in the simplest childlike way will mean that good things become automatic.  There is no need to fear unless you have a need for fear.  And only then does it have you.  Like a dog who senses fear, it only reacts when you yourself allow yourself to feel into this place.

Kundalini is a powerful force that wells up within your awareness.  So big and strong it is, it can seem as though it is crashing into your life.  Certainly this appears to be so.  And perhaps there is some truth to this perception, but it does not change the fact that if you see it as part of you, the going gets much easier.  Consider for a moment that you are way more than you have up to this moment realized.  Larger parts of you might well seem as though a force as moving from the outside of you to crash into your life like some powerful rhino seeking to charge you.  But this is only because of how you choose to perceive.  If you let go of the fear and stand before it as it seeks to charge you, watch what happens.....or what doesn't happen.  You are an immortal child of the universe, so nothing can truly hurt you.  The unknown has a way of changing, too, depending on how you relate to it.  As long as you see it as a force form the outside, it will remain this way. There are certainly plenty of outside voices that seek to place fear and uncertainty in the path simply because they themselves are uncertain.  Do you wish to mirror that uncertainty, or do you wish to mirror something more productive?  In the end, it is a choice that you alone make.  If you are honest with yourself and keep your eyes open you will find that awakening is not some strange spirit, but is native to each culture that exists on the planet.  It has filled the pages of books written by Christian mystics as well as Hindu adepts.  It spans the globe and is not the property of one religious path or faith.  In the end, like surrender, following your own instincts will serve you best.  When you are ready, you will be ready.

The path becomes easier and also miraculous once fear is lain aside.  Your experience can broaden and your depth of feeling can also emerge in degrees.  Your own capacity for inner knowing will also be unleashed as your own intuitive capabilities are naturally allowed fuller rein.  Love unifies the self.  Fear fragments.

So you might want to ask yourself the nature of your fear.  You have this genie inside of you that can guide you to the deeper parts of your feeling and if you allow yourself to be led and sink down into it with the curiosity of a child, you might just wind up feeling the root of your fear.  It is in the root that we are most successful in resolving old issues that have remained troublesome for us.  This is the great work that we do for ourselves, an essential honoring of the divinity within all things.  We pull back the layers of fear, which I tend to feel is the illusion some teachers speak of in order to reveal our more fundamental natures.  If it helps, think about what it was like to be a child.  It is in that simple curiosity that the mind is not swayed one way or the other, but is so full of curiosity and wanting to know how the world works.  If you rely on your old biases, you can color your awareness so that it makes it hard to know the truth.  The truth is in feeling your own sparkling possibility.  We know that when we have people imagine being like children that our brains actually change as we become naturally more creative and open to things. So much of being a child is about being open, but as we grew we also took on the fear and bias that was the world.

The result of fear is that it draws more of itself to you, which is what I'd like to say the fear in others.  Then, what you have is a landscape or a portrait of all the people in your life that are assembled in your life due to, in part, with this fear. This also attracts lower level entities as well, the dark-eye dogs of the spirit world.  These are not dragons to slay even though some would say that this is what we are to do.  We simply forgive ourselves for not understanding, for not remembering that we are limitless and thus, shoould have NOTHING to fear.  I don't even mean a boasting belicose kind of bravado, but a very simple quiet certainty about where your roots lie in the garden of the divine.  Once you do this and allow yourself to sink deep into yourself and felin into that place where these things lie, you can begin to get to its roots.  I promise you have to open yourself way up and allow yourself to let go completely of its roots.  When you accomplish this, it will change you in an instant.  It also never comes back.  Whatever was spent in fear is now turned to bliss.  It is like having the hard drive of your soul getting riddled with viruses that slow its functioning down.  Once the energy flow is restored, you could not believe why you spent so much time on fear or hurt or pain.

You have to believe in yourself.  Again, not egoistically, but certainly.  You have to know that you are beautiful, not in spite of someone else who does not share your view but because you can feel the part of you that touches lips with the divine within.  Search for that and take great joy and pleasure in that place.  It is where all authentic healing springs.  I cannot underestimate that enough.  Feel into your bliss ever deeper and ask what it is that you need to assist in removing.  This is a strip down to the last, and you mustn't feel funny about standing naked before the great sea of bliss which is your primordial home.  Jesus, in a lesser known text (gnostic) said to followers who asked how they were to reach the kingdom, he explained that they were to trample their shame like children trampling a cloak on the ground, naked and without shame.  Then, when you do this, you will know the kingdom.  It is certain that the kingdom, as expressed through the lesser known "heretical" documents of the early Christians also called Gnostics, that the kingdom was awakening itself.  You can perhaps appreciate how far we veered from the original teachings, and how we each can wind up in the lesser places of ourselves.

We all need forgiveness.  We need to not be judged.  Wouldn't that be so nice to have in life all the time?  People who only want us to improve instead of wanting to play whack-a-mole?  It's the fear of being judged that can keep some people in their holes hiding out and flying under the radar.  But this was not something that was meant to hide for any reason but to arch its great heart to the sky.  Step into the light and feel the wonder that is you and that is the universe!

All my greatest wishes for you, to you, in your journey on this marvelous planet.

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