Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Power Of Tantra - An Introductory Exercise For Men

The power of Tantra is contained within the power of your own mind and essence.  When you can allow your own mind to be fully present with the energy of your sexuality, energy flows.  Connected to this is what happens with the body.  Certainly your body will respond, but the key in all of this is in keeping present and going slow.  Men most often fall into a trap about their sexuality and it leads to most problems we see between men and women in their intimacy.  Men simply go too fast.  Men respond very quickly to sexual energy perhaps partly due to how we have evolved.  The triggers are slipped much faster.  It is expedient, yes, but also an empedement to tantric experience.  Being able to keep the energy in your awareness as a man and then allowing yourself to stay in the moment without speeding ahead to the desire for the conclusion, will potentiate sexual energy in a whole new way. 

If sex is like striking a match, imagine striking that match VERY slowly.  Literally imagine seeing it being struck in slow motion and keep that image in your mind.  There is a huge amount of energy that is being missed when you rush, and you also can leave your partner wondering what just happened.  And this is quite easy to do, so by keeping things extremely slow in your mind you can actually begin to feel the energy in sexuality being stretched out, and as it does, its fuller potential can be realized.
The best practice is to begin without a partner if you are a man. 

One very good way is to imagine everything in your mind as having been slowed way down.  Zoom in on your hand and where it goes, and keep it amazingly slow.  By going into it in this way, you can keep your mind focused on the moment and not jumping ahead.  Savoring the moment allows you to feel the energy that is present and it also keeps you more in your body.  When, as a man, you are wanting to rush forward, it is very likely you are not fully present. Your mind is actually situated somewhere else.  As an initiating force, you can leave whomever is with you in the dust.  Put your awareness in different parts of your body and feel for example your hand stroking her leg.  Do this slowly, and feel what your energy does when it touches her.  Remember that match striking?  It strikes in slow motion; the fire emerges slowly but powerfully as the match stick runs down the side of the striker, which is her body.  If you do this you can feel how just a touch can be elevated to something that is like worship…..because that is just what it becomes.  This is the lost path to the spiritual practice that is tantra. Allowing your own energy to rise without expending it in one furious rush to an end-point is the name of this game.  Doing this first within your own head is a good prelude to learning how to do it with a partner.

Being able to hold onto your energy is actually where tremendous energy can arise in tantra.  We think that tantra is this freeflow of energy between one person and another, and it is, but realize that men and women are right now at something of a mismatch in many ways when it comes to the different stages of sexual arousal and what each needs in order to build up in the right way to a pitched level of bliss. As a man, keeping back the floodgates is important.  If you are an initiating force, then so too do you need to learn how to manage your own energy properly.  You can do this, and practice will show you how.  If you are getting too excited to soon, the answer is in learning to pull back some, to allow the boiling water to come to a simmer. The energy is always going to be there, the universe is full of it, so it isn’t like you are ever going to run out, so allow yourself this time to take the time. 

One important first step in tantra is learning how to take the time needed inside your own head and body first.  It is possible that you might not even find this approach very interesting as you find your mind wanting to race forward, but if you continue down this path in this way, you will not touch upon tantra.  You will only be touching the outer petals of it, which are the most obvious ones most everyone knows about. A lot of this is in unlearning some things that have become habit that we don’t even think about or reflect upon.  This is especially hard for people who prefer to act and think about it later.  I am not asking you to become so reflective of yourself that it ruins the moment, only that by developing more of this sense of restraint at the right times will result in greater control and better syncing to your partner in an even deeper union that will come once you stop leaping headlong into the experience in a way that might feel natural to you but may not feel natural to your partner.
When you become more present the energy will also change.  Women can pick up on this.  Women are incredibly sensitive to these things on balance, especially if they are tuned into your energy, which most women are.  They are naturally intuitive and so by allowing yourself to dwell more in your body and less in what is going to come next, her response will be different.  Being comfortable with yourself is key and being able not to feel the ingrained shame and taboo that is so often centered on sexuality will help significantly.  This is not a mountain you need to reach the peak of in one day, but is a worthy exercise that might take some time for you to see results.

So let your mind go wild, certainly, but in building the energy, hold it back so that you can slow down and be in the moment. Then, allow the wild horse to pull you forward with yourself having a firm grip on the reins.  Take your time, be present, and once everyone is on the same page, you can let those horses run free.  Before this happens, being aware of your breathing can help keep you in your body if those horses want to slip from your hands.  This is not about lessening desire or somehow decreasing the passion in the moment, it is learning one aspect of how to contain and potentiate energy.  This is what you were made for, and it is time to begin using it for helping to bring heaven to earth.  It is a noble effort!

This is just a taste, an element of practice that you might try considering.  Much of it is all done inside your head and then connecting it into your body.  When you can slow down and be more present, you also signal greater confidence.  Confidence is not about bravado necessarily, but simply being comfortable in your own skin.  Sexual intimacy has many pitfalls for us, so it is not always easy to be authentically confident as a result of our being easy in our own skin.  The thing is, if you can give up proving anything or doing anything and just be with yourself and your partner in a comfortable and easy w ay, things of this nature will be much easier.  You will begin to sense the seemingly more subtle elements of the energy that is within you but that often gets scattered in the moment. Don't let life turn your basket of wonder over so the fruit of your essence goes falling all over the place.  There is no rush, no worry.  If the person you are with is a good match for you, she will be someone who has patience, is herself also not in a rush and is willing to savor the moment that you are seeking to find and know. 

Being present is a tricky thing for us.  We are so used to planning and strategizing that winds up taking us out of the moment.  This practice means full attention.  Where your attention goes, so does the energy.  You can build significant energy in the moment by mastering this, or at least letting it teach you.  By being more present in your body, you also create an environment with your partner who is very sensitive and can feel your presence or lack of it most often than not.  Honor this sensitivity and become the thunderbolt who knows how to freeze itself and then gently tease out limitless energy from that frozen pulse of bliss moving through you. She awaits you, she awaits this.  She seeks to return to you what is hers and which in turn is yours.  In this cycle of energy rotation and movement lies the divine and the heart of tantric practice, or at least one aspect of it. 

No comments: