Sunday, February 10, 2013

What Can't Be Known

You cannot grasp what you are while seeking to grasp another.  You cannot grasp another when you do not know yourself.  What is unmade in you will itself project itself cinematic, out onto others and is itself a lie that we tell ourselves that in no ways illuminates the truth of what is.  I say "what can't be known" as if it can't be known, which isn't entirely true, but true until your own blinders are removed, until the competing material alive within you ceases to be identified with.  I have written numerous times about this, have experienced the results of this phenomenon in my life in many ways, and it comes down to how ego identifies with what is in the past and seeks to keep it alive in the present through projection.  Even as ego is active, in full belief that what it has settled on is true, it most often muddles things for the fact that ego is a reflective part of the psyche.  Why do I say this?  It takes what it knows and applies it to the present.  In order to do that, it must reflect on the past in order to make a judgement about the present.  Ego, too engaged in the moment, can misjudge, misinterpret what it thinks it sees.  When you are in a position of making determinations about what it is you think you see in the present by basing it on your memory banks, you are no longer engaged in the moment, but reflecting.  It is in reflecting that we unwittingly or unknowingly project.  It is natural, it is part of our survival instinct, and all things being equal, it has allowed us to survive and thrive as a species.  It has also caused us to bring past bias into the moment.  This is why reson or logic CAN be a very helpful tool in overcoming the biases of the past.  By ceasing what you think you know, which is based in how you FEEL, you can stick to the facts.  Ego will often blind you to the facts, to what is.  I have seen this taken to outrageous degrees where someone who is compassionate and caring is suddenly turned into a monster or devil or worse.  This, all courtesy of unresolved fear and ego driving the bus.  As you may know from my writing, I do not consider ego to be some demon to be destroyed, only that we have allowed it too full a reign in our psyches.  Unwittingly though, ego is certainly involved in the act of projection, and it keeps us imprisoned in our inner world, in what I would call a reality tunnel that has been part events of the past and part who we are and less what actually is. 

Carl Jung was all over this, and it is a well known phenomenon that happens when we are not reflective enough, or settled inr healed within. What is not settled remains like a loop of energy in our souls, what we might call karma, and it runs recursively within and will make us see and do what we don't really see and do not wish to do or be.  It owns us.  We are its prisoner and we cannot see beyond the wall of its own illusion lest we break free from it and all of its effects.  These are nearly identical words used by a disciple of Jesus in his lesser known gospel, the Gospel of Philip (Nag Hammadi). Through intention.  Sometimes it is by way of what we might consider catastrophic means, but those catastrophes are merely the very lever against which we move our perceptions. And sometimes others must do it for us simply because we become so unbearable in our insistence that things are as our beloved loops say we are.

I have seen this play out over and over in my life, and for a time it was a mystery as to how to correct it.  How do I clear up what is in others who seek to persecute in me? By releasing what remains in me.  It was often the case that I was blamed for things that I had never done.  It became easy for others to pin them on me.  Afterall it made perfect sense; I was dreamy and forgetful.  But it made me a target for others' frailties.  In some cases, it resulted in amazing distortions of what was true or real.  And that is not to say that there weren't distortions on both sides of the fence.  It is a reality of our becoming that has many pitfalls.   I have had great scurrilous things  told all in the name of these blind loops.  Persecution energy.  But most of it comes about as a result of a lingering guilt that we carry within us from lifetimes of living.  If you were ever a leader of masses of people, it is easy enough to have done things in your best effort that backfired and wound up hurting others, resulting in a guilt, a weight tied around your neck and some of these rest upon us for lifetimes until we face them and find resolution. How do people get to the place where they are willing or able to look past what is true to embrace their own inner hurt and lack of resolve within the divine?  "It is each person's journeywork, not yours, theirs, and your work is to stay straight ahead and know your own truth lest you get caught up in their own maya or illusion" is what this abiding presence whispers.  I admit that in the past I have not always listened.  The greatest compassion is the one we pay ourselves, though, for when we can do that for ourselves, we naturally can do it for all.  We think that in doing it first for others that we are somehow being noble and selfless, except that this rarely seems to work as it leaves behind the fragments of karma and maya turning within it.  We serve others so they may approve of us, may reflect upon us as somehow good. Silly!  We were born good.  We have no need to prove it.  BE it.  Don't get lost in such denizens of pretense and illusion.   This kind of thinking turned me from running a business that should have been about the sheer love of creating but instead became an instrument for seeking approval in at least a small way.  If I was successful in making the business provide, then it MUST mean I was worthy of approval or good.

Oh my.

And so, when I awoke, I lost almost all interest in my business, which was built on something that could not last, that was not enduring to the soul that I am inside.  I turned around one day to find that I was lost in something that I had begun with love and care and passionate energy.  Like a metal that had a small impurity in it, the weakness within resulted in the metal giving way and the whole thing breaking down.  It is something that simply cannot stand.  My studio was like a temple.  I entered the realm of its possibility with grace and focus, but I also unknowingly brought in a burning desire to prove something.  Creation does not seek to prove anything.  Ego does that.  Creation only seeks to be.  So I lost all interest or desire in this enterprise until I was able to reorient myself and ask myself what the deeper reasons were for doing this kind of work.  It had to be lain upon a foundation that could support it rightly and not seek to borrow stones from another;s form of approval.  We become responsible for anothers' happiness and in keeping that bit of power, we must be perfect or else if we trip or fall or act human, we will certainly have hell to pay.  And this is so.  We have no business holding others' power, and yet we do it all the time.  It emerges as codependency of one form or another. 

So who I am will be seen as not as it is but as others are.  They will believe in these illusions and it will be their own doing, their own karma, and their own path.  In their own struggle, they will say and do remarkably hurtful things, but it is the greatest of compassions to let them alone to be because no one can help another who is caught up in this way.  We help ourselves, we take responsibility for our own stuff and do not seek to put it off onto others.  This is the greatest compassion; letting others be who they must be.  Straight ahead, lightening like, for me, it is all direct because of what I am in my soul.  In that place, there is no equivocation, doubt, or uncertainty, and I strie to become more and more like him and less of what has been as I compare the template of me with the me I will become.  In so doing, what I will be when I reach that higher self will be more than it is as I glimpse him now.  In this way, the self and soul vaults itself through vast places of awareness. One extends beyond the other as the other pulls the other along with it.  They are like two joined by a rope who leap frog using the rope of their being to vault each other into still unknown territory.  I am not sure I can even explain this, except that I know that this is true.  My higher self will be more by what I do here, and yet what I become will be more than he is in the "present" of the infinite, since he does not exist in time, but straddling it.  And it isn't even just a matter of my own limited perception.  We will each become more than we could become on our own.  If the smaller self expands, it expands the higher beyond its own comprehension.  Leapfrogging in this way, the essence of time and timelessness is embraced in an emerging new way.  The last time I did this, I went back into time through dream to speak to my younger self.  I awoke in the morning to find that something had shifted, something had changed.  I felt different, I was different because I had stepped back into time through the dream world and contacted myself to urge myself to do something that was the core of what he most needed to become.  It was a small thing, and it was about love.  the message was simple, not complicated, and perhaps because of its simplicity, it rang in his heart.  It made a change.  This is one way that we can change our lives.  Robert Monroe, author of books about out of body experiences spoke of encountering future aspects of himself and how those future selves sought to help him along where he was.  But in so doing, the future self changed their own "present" by enriching the past.  Jane Roberts, a writer and channel for the personality Seth described how Seth and Jane were two aspects of each other, that Seth was like a future self, while Jane represented a past self, and yet, through their interactions, their work together, Seth helped Jane to develop more, to learn to use her abilities which meant that the self she would become would not be Seth as he was when he came through her to write books while Jane was alive, but a different self partly as a result of their interactions.  The soul, weighing nothing, is not bound by time.  Bodies, full of mass, are more difficult to move through time.  And perhaps we will unlock the secret to physical time travel, but until then you can travel through time through dream quite easily.  This is but one way that we can effect great change even when that change may elude us. 

What we see in the world is a composition not just of what is, but of what we have projected.  As we do away with those projections, we can come to what is true and real.  the path to this is overcoming karma, which overcomes maya.  What overcomes maya brings one closer to the divine within.

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