Sunday, February 17, 2013

What Keeps Us

I often say a lot about no methods, no techniques because of what I have experienced.  Now you could say "that was his experience, perhaps he is just different" and what I think my interest or focus has been for so long is with the source of meaning, the meat of spiritual experience, which has, for me, always been about reaching down into the roots of a thing.  When we do that, we know the essence of a thing, the REASON why breath work works....which isn't because of a notion of why we think it works, but because of a fundamental oneness with its essence.  Robert Heinlein the sci-fi writer penned a great term in one of his books Stranger In A Strange Land, which was about a half human half Martian who came to earth, a term which he called "grok."  To grok, even though it was never really defined by the main character, it was defined by his keeper or surrogate caretaker, Jubal.  He described grokking as knowing something so well that you become the thing, you merge with it in a deep fundamental way.  The sense of seperatness dissolves when one "groks."  For me, this spoke to that merging into the thing, sensing it on an energetic level, an intellectual, and emotional level.  In moments like this, your physiology can change.  You can feel your reactions TO a thing (an event or happening or conversation) but then there is also a direct one to one interaction that winds up with you literally walking in the shoes of another.  Doing this is an act of empathy, yes, but it also goes beyond merely reflecting on how a person feels and putting ourselves in that place.  In this case, we still reflect on how we would feel.  What I am talking about is that there is no distance between the two.  Doing this, though, understanding it for what it is, take experience.  You either have loads of faith that it is so (and this certainly works!) or you observe the phenomenon over and over enough to where you realize that this is not mere reflection but something  deeper.  I say "deeper" as though it is something that we do not normally get at.  The truth, at least in my experience, is that it is always here.  We do lots to block it out, that we aren't even aware of.  It is so easy to do, so effortless, that we most often experience these moments of connection when we are no longer guarded, when something very slight, is open within us.  Most often, we do not think of it as being open to the world, but open to our our thoughts.  Most often, this is in moments of reverie, and we associate this as being alone with ourselves.  This is the potent moment, though, the crack in our facade that lets in the light.  We often assume our own light is ours and ours alone, perhaps not realizing that the light that we feel, that burst of inspiration, is also what connects us to the universe, and to more things, to the infinite.  We miss this because we think we are this definate soap bubble of a self with clearly defined edges when in truth, this soap bubble, while real, is existing in a hyperversal state, which is my way of saying that we are in truth multidimensional.  The only thing keepind us from sensing into this hyperversal state, our own multidimensionality, is this particular reflection within where what we are is known as part of everything else.

Identity has been a challenge for us in this regard.  On the one hand, it gives us a sense of being separate, of being Bill or Tom or Lisa or Ali.  Each is their own person, yes, and yet, the energy that fills all of us is like the waters from a vast ocean.  The water that we swim in was swum in by the dinosaurs, was a part of vast frozen glaciers, was also floating in space, locked up in meteors, billions of years ago and has itself lived many lives before becoming a part of us now.  What is in us is us in the same way that we are both the wave upon which we ride as cosmic surfers of a sort, while also being a particle of water that is part of that vast wave.  When we cease trying to differentiate between the two and just let them BE that I sense we get closer to our most natural nature. Not too much rational, not too much irrational; perched, balanced on that wave.  Here, we realize we are BOTH and trying to tease out which we are is a bit of a fools errand that keeps us locked in our left brains, a type of energy that is good for some things, but it also serves to actually break the energy that helps to build the waveform of phenomenon.  If you wonder about this, this goes all the way down to the most fundamental parts of your awareness, and when you master the no-thinking state, you begin to feel this wave begin to build.  When you put your rational individual focus into the moment, it collapses the wave effect, which is precisely what happened during the now-famous double-slit experiment that shows how phenomenon at the small level behaves different from when it is being observed as opposed to when it is not.  If you want an interesting tutorial on this watch the great animated videos of Doctor Quantum who helps to explain it quite well what is at work

Then there is this video that sums up a lot of quantum collapse, which is phenomenon at the very small it relates to the term or concept of Entanglement.

This is getting off topic a bit, but it speaks to the definite state of superposition I experienced in my waking state, observations made while watching what happened when my own consciousness changed states from the "particle" or left brain state to the right brain, or the waveform state.  It is here, I am saying, that you have an entry into the world in a very different way.  It is as if you had a razor blade and held it out in front of you and found, much to your amazement, that in attempting to cut in the air, that you actually do, and what you see in that gap is the essence of things, and what you see behind that veil of appearances is a very different world then the one you see with your eyes.  In truth, there may be no way to literally cut open the fabric of the world in this way, but you can glimpse it with your own awareness.  To do that requires that you slip out of the part of your awareness that is part of the particilized form of awareness and allows yourself to slip into the waveform of awareness, which is the part of your awareness most of us do not often tend to use, so just using it feels different, strange, or weird.  We are so used to feeling as though we are in fact in control over what happens that we feel strangely when things begin to happen in a different way, and it is this "different way" where things get really interesting (if you are interested in the mind's broader capacities and the root of how things work here inside ourselves as well as in the universe).  Physicists tend to say that none of the phenomenon observed at the atomic level winds up being something that is observable in larger phenomenon, but I think that you do.  I think, though, that they simply have not been good at being able to use their own awareness as the key to peek behind the curtain or veil of all of this weirdness happening enough to see that what has been happening at the atomic winds up in their own bodies (and what is in your body you do have access to, at least theoretically), and also winds up as part of your own awareness even if you aren't aware of it. I know that sounds contradictory to you, but if you consider that you have a subconscious, maybe you will understand how it is that a lot slips past us on a moment by moment basis and isn't even registered in awareness.  We think our senses are so good, but we are more than our physical senses, and when you awaken kundalini, you will see this quite easily in the form of what the Hindus call Siddhis, or abilities.  This is evidence of the change that is taking place in awareness.  these abilities exist because consciousness, absent the physical apparatus, is not picking up on information entirely beyond itself.  How can that be?  The answer is in the wave.  But it is in this waveform awareness that your own awareness can become a sensory tool, which is very different from what many scientists are used to doing so the tendency is to discount what we do not receive from our five senses. 
When you get to a place within your own awareness where you are experiencing the broader picture, events begin to take on a very different quality.  People, too.  Your life will change in a subtle and important way, and it is this subtlety that results in big change, if you allow it, to happen.  Since your awareness has changed, you are free to observe more information that had been cut off from you.  You now observe that since you have so much more energy flowing in your body that this energy is not in any way tied to your breath because there is so much of it.  But before all this energy came into your awareness, you may have found that the only way you could become aware of it was the way everyone is told it is regulated, which is by breath.  Well yes, you CAN regulate it by breath, but not because breath is itself the energy.  Do you see?  That is a small but important difference.  For me, when I realized that this energy was coincident with breath, for instance, I was able to see it for what it was and use that as a way to move energy when I was in a less than open way to the energy.  Perhaps too breath work can help you to understand the linkage between feeling and the energy and how when you relax and move into reverie, this energy flows more naturally and feels better, blissful even.  But we so often think its because of our own thoughts that this is so because we never really get to see anything beyond our own thoughts and their effects.  

This is the result of a simple missidentification of phenomenon that happens.  It seems perfectly reasonable for something to happen for a reason that we think we have observed, except that our reason may well be based less on what is true (what actually is) than on what we THINK is true.  And what we think is true is subject to how we feel most often, and this is based on our backlog of prior experience, reason, and all the rest.  It is also subject to our negative karma, which our reason and feeling are certainly governed by when we are less than aware, or observing of what is going on.  And this way of going back and comparing is a slip, a glitch.  It is based on an old model of reality and this does not always allow for the flexibility to embrace What Is.  What Is is such a tricky thing, isn't it?  It is so clear, so certain.  You spend your whole life with this sense of purpose and it all will come unravelling in a moment due to a feeling you have within that is itself not in full alignment with your divinity.  Your divinity is itself wedded to the universe.  It cannot be any less, you see?  Being who you are is the hardest thing when you have the dross of karma filling your eyes telling you that god does not love you, or that you are ugly, or not good enough, or that you wont amount to anything.  All of this, silliness!  Moving down deep, you will reach that rich bed of you, that deep soil, that wellspring of the infinite within you and in that moment, there just wont be any doubt.  But until you dissolve the ghost of the past, it will certainly haunt you and tell you all those scary specters are real.  Whatever they happen to be.....that you are not loveable enough, good enough, or worthy.  All of this will reflect into the will reflect into your work no matter what work you do.  As a physicist, you might be trying to prove that you are smart and god's gift to science after feeling as though a parent didn't honor your greatness to the level that you thought you should have gotten. So all of this hard work, it doesn't come from your heart, but from your fear.  Now, maybe in the old world, this might be enough of a riding crop moment enough to keep you rushing forward into one discovery after the next, and certainly it might even bring you to great places.  But when life strips you bare of your life, you will have just your heart and the the heart of Creation looking back at you in a moment of clarity that comes with the moment when all bodies die.  You will have learned an important lesson, but it will have been learned out of the flow of duality.  The reason why you are here, you see, is to erase all of this HERE.  When the vibration is raised elsewhere, well that might be good for heaven, but not for the karma that remains here.  Tied to this plane, you are destined to keep coming back until you can in this moment realize what must be brought, person by person, into this world.  

Is that getting crazy existential?  I hope not.  It strikes to the center of all of this.  It has an unrelenting heart.  It is unrelenting simply because of the high vibration that creation holds.  It does not bend to you because it is what it is.  Why should god seek to change for you?  Why would a parent seek to change themselves when they have reached near-perfection?  This advanced being did not get to where it is by stooping.  When I say this, understand that God will not come to your level.  In order to keep the divine order, you have to accept this great force into your heart.  It is like asking God to make life a series of shortcuts for you while you go about never really learning what it is you were here to realize.  What loving parent would do that for their children?  The hard part is in its unbending nature because in being that way, it invites you to a still higher place within yourself.  Through a series of travels and journeys, you work hard to seek that light that is already within you, waiting.  It is the greatest of conmpassions.  All you have to do is let grace into your heart and keep it there.  Slowly, bit by bit, the path of this will show you the way to be.  You need not know the answers, for by holding this vibration, it will be its own homing device for the divine.  

I was told early on by a guide that he would be there with me the whole way.  I need only call on him.  But he explained that I had to find that place within me where I could find him.  I would not be able to find him when I was stuck in some hard place.  There was a very specific path within and it was a path that we all know.  It seems as if it is buried deep within you....perhaps so deep that it gets lost in your awareness.  But in reaching that path, the ghosts of the past naturally begin falling away.  Now, notice I am not giving you a technique for how to do this.  Perhaps you could make one up.  It would be perfectly valid for you to do so if it takes you to the place within that is so essential.  Perhaps it begins to learn to breathe, which itself helps to bring in life force into your awareness.  As you do this, more awareness builds.  Perhaps it is incremental.  But the curious thing is that as you achieve these places within, you never lose them as a capacity in your being.  Also, the curious thing about belief is that if you have an investment in it, it will have a reality.  This is why in hypnosis it is possible to reach a very deep state of relaxation by simply hearing someone snap their fingers because they suggested to you moments before that you would do this.  In this deep state of suggestibility and willingness to follow what another person says that you do it.  There is nothing magical whatsoever in the snapping of the fingers.  What is magical is your ability to manifest such a deep state of relaxation by putting your belief in the possibility that it will happen.   

So to change things in your life, you can do the same thing.  You can tell yourself that you are going to start replacing the old memes or things that you tell yourself that leave you feeling cold or left out or less than what you consider optimal.  Whatever it is, you can consciously seek to replace it with a different thought, a different recording in your head.  This will work as the subconscious is highly suggestible.  Feed it enough positive energy and change will certainly take place.  Gently feel yourself plucking out the old thoughts like weeds and imagine their roots gently giving way from the soft and fertile soil of your being.  There are better plants to have growing there.  Over time, with persistence, you will find the landscape having changed.  When you reach places that are hard to change, ask yourself why this is so.  What is it within you that seems to be resisting.  Then ask to be shown why this is so.  Somewhere, the answer lies within you.  If you allow your rational mind to step back some, you will allow the limitless potential of the irrational mind to enter in and do its work.  Together, these two aspects of your being can deliver you to ever increasingly better places within.  But it is something that you will want to do.  Wanting it badly enough will supply you with the forward motion to make it happen.

What keeps us from all of this is ourselves.  But it is also ourselves that keeps us on the path to finding it, too.  Which do you prefer?

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