Caring For Our Awakened Loved Ones

Awakening as an event in the life of a loved one is like a rock being tossed into a still pool.  The pool, which has been relatively quiet for years suddenly becomes turbulent as sudden waves crest and move out in all directions, bringing a sudden burst of realization and reflection into the life of the person so affected.  If you can imagine that most of our lives that our inner waterways remain quiet like this, like a lake that has never had any significant ripples, waking one day to such an event could wind up feeling disconcerting.

When this event occurs, it is like a bell which has rung.  You cannot go back and unring it.  The event is so fundamental that it begins the process of change within that has a force of its own.  It is our own fundamental nature emerging and it is stronger than any force put before it.  It is like being told a truth that completely changes how you see and respond to the world.  It is so basic that it simply is not possible to put the genie back in the bottle.

If you are someone who has a loved one going through this process, it is important to realize that like it or not, the person whom you love is now in the process of rapid change.  How you respond to this process can serve to make the path easy or hard for you and for them.  This is not so different from any other human interaction, though, and being mindful of what we say or how we think about what we believe we know will more than likely play into this new event.  The truth remains that the person you know will undergo a transformation that is not unlike the process of a caterpillar into a butterfly.  The difficulty for most is that we endure a transition period when our cells are being populated by this energy that comes in waves and moves through our many layers of self.  While it may feel like a lightening strike to the person so affected, the aftermath is where the greatest changes take place because they serve to reform the person in what can feel like radical ways.  The reality about relationships is that when one person changes faster than the other, the differences between the two become much more apparent.  Because of this, it can lead people in relationship to feel like they are either left behind or no longer understood.  This works on BOTH sides of the equation.  If you are someone who has awakened, this can mean that you wind up feeling missunderstood.  When you are the loved one who has not awakened, you might feel left behind.  You might also think that your awakened friend or loved one has simply gone around the bend because what they are trying to explain to you what their new life is like is outside of anything you have experienced.  These are two very likely and very natural responses to have to awakening.  There are as many others are there are people, and the bottom line question becomes are the two people in relationship ready to do the work to adjust to this new event in a way that makes sense to them and that will keep their ability to relate to one another on a balanced and even keel, or will this serve to draw the two apart?  This is a choice that we all make whether we realize it or not.  It can also be a choice that happens very slowly, or very quickly, all depending on the nature of the relationship before all of this took place as well as how it goes forward as all of this begins to unfold within the relationship.

I write about how to care for someone who is going through an awakening in my book Waking The Infinite, and I do so based on what I know what would have helped me had I gotten the support that I needed most at the time.  I am going to walk you through the process some and point out a few of the things that are useful to bear in mind if you have someone who has gone through this awakening.

First, your loved one is now aware of things that are outside your own experience very likely.  They may want to tell you about these experiences as a way of seeking support during a tumultuous time.  Some of the phenomenon may even be things you have some experience with if you are inclined toward matters of the spirit.  But even if they are not, one very important thing to consider is that while your loved one might tell you something incredible over breakfast that sounds impossible or even crazy, there is a reason for why it has happened to them.  Your loved one may not know the whole story any more than you, but the important thing to remember in the moment is to keep from judging whether the experience has any validity or whether you think that it strikes you as a form of delusional behavior. This is where keeping an open mind and an open heart is important.  Even if what you are told strikes you as strange or even deluded, it is important to remember that the person sitting across from you is shedding its skin.  Many skins.  However strange this might seem to you, taking a stance that whatever is going on inside of them may well appear strange but actually has a critical purpose will, I think, help you in achieving the right state of mind that will help and not hinder their process of shedding the latent psychological material that is now being sloughed off.

Perhaps you can remember having a dream one night that seemed utterly fantastic, amazing, and entirely impossible.  This dream may have left you feeling very different when you woke up.  Something ABOUT the nature of the dream simply shifted how you felt as you went through your day.  The dream itself was so fantastical that it could in no way adhere to ordinary reality, and yet, somehow, the quality of that dream left you feeling completely renewed, refreshed, and feeling different.  Perhaps you found you had inner resources, at least for a time, that you thought you did not have.  If you can remember ever having a dream like this, then I would like to suggest that you approach your own beloved's awakening experience in a similar way.  You may not be able to understand how it is that your loved one is now communicating with a binary star cluster, or an angel, or a future version of themselves, and it may be that all of these perceptions are simply an approximation of what it is that really is going on.  It is possible that there are glimpses of Gods or Goddesses, demons or other shadow creatures.  There could be impossible to believe synchronicities happening that all seem incredibly important to your loved one that simply go over your head and you do not understand.  I caution you to resist discounting these experiences.  I say this because your loved one is like a person on a train who is describing their new experiences to you only to find the following day, the view from the train window has changed from verdant forest to rolling plains, and then to a beige desert-scape.  Further, in seeing all of these changes and range of experiences, their own understanding of what it is that they are going through also changes or is somehow revised in some small way, or placed into a still larger, more inclusive framework.  What I am saying is, be patient, don't take anything as entirely literal, but don't seek to discount it either.  The truth is that your lvoed one IS facing an important truth about themselves and the world.  Some of this can be more like dream than waking for all of the archetypal images that can crop up. It was Carl Jung that did a lot of work using archetypes as a way to help sasist people in healing.  He was aware of this because he saw how these cropped up so often in his analysis of his patients.  Whether "real" in the physical sense or not, the deeper truth is that these types of experiences can be the medicine that aids in helping to move a person emotionally and cognatively to a new place within themselves.

Second, I suggest knowing the many symptoms of awakening so that you can understand that this is not a mental break happening.  The challenge here is that if medicating the symptoms is attempted, it can only serve to extend the process for the person.  There are other ways that these spiritual emergences can be handled, and as far as I know, none of them involve medication of ANY kind.  Bear in mind that the change taking place is so broad based that it can include what seems to be very real physical pain happening.  This pain, though, tends to be related to intense forms of tension in the body.  All pain that I have ever had in my body has all been related directly to holding on to something.  This implies a form of holding, a clutching action emotionally or mentally.  All of this resolves into a kind of emotional and psychic tension that becomes so severe that it reads in the body as pain.  But how could such a psychic reality be felt as physical pain?  There are many examples of how the body can read or register pain that is in truth psychological or spiritual.  The etheric energy pouring into the body moves through every system, from the nerves to the physical tissues.  The brain is well known for taking this psychic material and placing it in a place within sensing that makes sense to it.  The clue is that there has been no form of physical injury that brought this on.  the other clue is that there is a good deal of distress or anxiety associated with the physical effects most often for the simple fact that most of it comes from a sense of not being at ease (dis-ease).  I am going to also say that you have to be careful.  What might seem to be etheric could also  be a very real physical malady that is manifesting in the body, so you don't NOT want to go see a doctor!  What I AM saying is to be careful about JUST trying to treat a symptom when its source is still unclear.  All of this is a balance because on the one hand you do not want to medicate when the problem is spiritual, but neither do you want to ignore the issue in case it winds up being something that could wind up being a very real physical problem!  What I am saying here is that when it comes to taking prescription drugs for anxiety or other psychological disorders, care must be taken in weighing the advantages of doing so over the repercusions of taking the medication.  While anti-anxiety drugs can be useful in helping to break a cycle of anxiety, few doctors like to prescribe them for extended periods since this points to a deeper problem that is best solved by correcting what is causing the anxiety in the first place.  Most anxiety stems from a fear, not a physical malady, and so the solution lies in clearing up the inner "malady" which will in turn shift and change the physiology away from the stress hormones that wind up putting a person on edge in the first place.

Third, it is important to consider that we all have within us the means to heal ourselves and to get to a better place.  Those who insist that we do not are themselves grossly underestimating our own potential as human beings.  If we lean on outside sources to heavily, we can miss the opportunities inherent in our own inner functioning to resolve the problem.  Many people have simply been trained that they are not capable of getting their arms around the problem.  As a result, I have had people get upset with me when I insist that we are more resourceful than we know and that it is only when we are tried that we discover the resources we didn't even know we had.  Excessive fear is as destructive as excessive optimism.  Both can do harm, and the essence of life is in the balance of the two. Within us are triggers that can aid us in releasing stubborn psychic material, and the realization that they are there does not come until the moment arrives when the test comes.  This does not mean that one should go through torture.....but there are aspects of the experience that CAN feel torturous.  An example of this difficulty is what we oftne call the Dark Night Of the Soul.  This is in fact a not-well understood passage from one state fo being to the next.  With it can come some very real physical effects such as excessive adrenaline which can make a person feel like they are being torn apart emotionally. In most of the cases I have heard about (including my own), this particular rough spot was cleared up by the person learning how to control HOW they felt in order to control their own physiology.  Kundalini puts every little thing under an intense microscope of awareness and small things become VERY big.  This is in truth a saving grace, but it is not a grace that is easy to master.  But once it IS mastered, the mastery is genuine even if it is hard-won.  For myself, I learned to hone my physiological response so that I could keep from feeling the harder parts of the experience.  This resulted in my learning to release latent fear that had built up over years.  The single most helpful thing during a process like this is for the person to know that you at the very least feel for them, that you are behind them in getting through this.  In the overly bright light of the experience, sometimes it is helpful to have a soothing and kind voice who does not judge but is as compassionate as possible.  True compassion, then is without questioning.  Nurses in a hospital may have never had to go through how an illness may make them feel, yet the great ones give care regardless and provide support without judgement.  This is where helping someone rid themselves of a personal demon by keeping judgement to yourself instead of suggesting that this is all created by years of bad living or wrongful feeling.  Responding in this way hardly helps the situation.

Awakening isn't just about your loved one.  Awakening is also about you as well.  You both are moving through this transition together.  It may be that the two of you can be perfectly great together without either of you needing to feel what the other is feeling.  it may be that what your loved one needs more than anything is someone who can be a rock solid anchor in a stormy sea.  I know one woman who is a close family friend who went through awakening and while her husband is a very practical guy, a mechanical engineer and she a dreamy artist, the two of them make the relationship work.  He doesn't need to venture out in to the ether while she does, but this does not cause him any problems.  Somehow, they manage to strike a balance in their different worlds.  The quality they each bring, I sense, is a simple appreciation for the other.  While she could not be technically minded, she probably likes how her spouse IS technically minded, while her broad dreamy artistic side helps to bring a counterbalance to their lives.  The foundation in this case is mutual respect.  This respect, though, can be easily eroded with an eye roll or a sharp comment that shows a lack of awareness about the other person's worth.  Both of you will need to matter, and while your loved one might need a tremendous amount of patience and resources from you during this time, all of life is a give and take, and what you will probably find is a loved one who comes out of the most turbulent parts of this experience feeling renewed, more at peace, and also ecstatically happy and ready for life to begin anew.

How long does the process of awakening take?  Well, Id say that such a question is itself flawed and need revision.  The process of awakening continues.  It is itself a spiral of awareness "upward" into still broader ranges of consciousness.  It is a refining of the self, and it is really hard to say how long this will take.  I do not see it as a process with a beginning middle and end.  Some of the most noted people who have awakened have shown remarkable harshness in their later lives, which shows that there was still more work to be done.  You do not "self perfect" necessarily.  You spiral upward.  What you are unable to slough off will remain for another day.  This is the same for anything in life and awakening is not some silver bullet.  it is true that those awakened can be just as deluded about their progress as anyone not awakened.  People can get stuck, and the awakened can be driven to fits of rage simply because they don't know HOW to deal with the forces now at work within them.  Just because you are awakened does not mean you suddenly stop being human. So what is the answer here?  The answer I think is to continue living life, to drop expectation to the degree that you can and simply enter the Moment and enjoy it for all it is worth.  Life is a great mystery sometimes, and while we can effect change in the moment, sometimes great understanding can also come through our own spirit or intuition that no act could ever trigger or surrender to us in the moment.  Living with our seemingly dual selves is key.  How does the earthly rough and tumble parts of us learn to soften and evolve in the presence of the divine self shining through?  This is a process that goes on day by day.  It can be ruthless and seemingly unforgiving for how careful we all must be in keeping ourselves balanced atop the crest of a wave of bliss that is the only good place to be in the entire experience.  As such, we will slip off the wave.  When we do, learning to observe what led up to that slip is fodder for learning the next go-around.  We wait for the next wave where we become silent and still and happy.  Here, we are lifted up onto the crest of the wave as if by magic and we ride it in until our feet rest on the sandy shore with a big smile on our face.

Awakening is not an excuse for people to behave badly, but this can happen.  Emotions can run high and the single best thing to do is what we do in every healthy relationship; we communicate, we do not point fingers and we learn to reach concensus and bear enough humility to see our own frailties without fear of recrimination.  Being emotionally honest and open while also compassionate is key I think.  When I say this, I do not mean a false-sense of compassion, since this never served anyone.  If we seek to be easy on others when it means ignoring the truth, this method of relating will itself have a natural expiration date.  So the love we bear is best when it is true, without strings, and is patient and childlike in wanting to know what awaits around the next corner.  When I say childlike, I mean the sense of openness and wonder that we all have when young about the world.  It is known that when we imagine what it is like to be like a child, we actually change how we think and feel.  Artists, for example, can be more imaginative and creative when they simply imagine what is is like to be a child.  This has a great deal of very helpful insight into how just the way we feel and anchor that feeling in the present can bring great benefit to us in how we wind up reacting.  React, yes, but not in a reactionary way.  :-)

Beyond this, there are resources that are available to people going through this rapid change.  there are therapists who have been trained in transpersonal and nonduality experiences.  I know they exist, and while I cannot reccomend anyone in the field for the simple fact that I have not utilized them, they are certainly out there and if it feels like you are both overwhelmed, this route might be the one to take if you both need more support as well as tools and tips for coping beyond my very brief introduction. Beyond this is your being willing to provide resources to your loved one that can include really great music, hypnosis tapes for calming anxiety, as well as dietary changes that could be of some help.  I have found Indian curry to be very calming as well as cantaloupe.  I have found eggs to be a good form of protein for when my stomach had trouble keeping anything down when the fires raged within.  I have found fasting helped at a critical time, and breath work can be of great assistance in calming.  I have also followed the suggestion that I do some kind of energy work to help remove bloockages in my energy field.  this took the form of Qi Gong (also spelled Gung) classes and these also served an important role in helping me to move through the healing process faster.  What helps me most these days is remaining devoted to my life and the wonderful outlook I was gifted with.  When days grow dark I am reminded that I have never been a glass is half empty kind of person and it is here that I find myself sitting in a garden of wonders and am just so glad just to be here. the greatest resource lies within, of course.  The ancients called this process "self realization" because it is really very simple.  However, we are not simple creatures.  We delight in making things complicated ( me included) but with some work, we gradually do get the memo!  Nothing can take the place of pure love and care.  We don't have to know what it all MEANS.  We don't always have to have all the answers.  How we each choose to live our lives is this great gift that we bear and the degree to which we can each hine our own light onto the world is the degree to which we offer ourselves up as the gift that we each are.  Our lives are a great gift which is in truth a river than flows in both directions....to us and from us.  It is as important to give as it is to receive.  It is here that the headwaters of spirit are both small and big, powerful and gentle, capable of getting you to where it is you need to go.  And never underestimate the power of awakening to bring you the resources that you need, sometimes in perfect timing.  I have written plenty about synchronicity and what lies beneath it, both her and in my upcoming book.  We live in interesting times, and how we each choose to orient ourselves to it makes a difference in the quality of the experience.

There is a list of kundalini resources to the right of this post and there is also a resources page also which you might want to look through.  This is by no means an exhaustive list, and I have been meaning to add more to it but have not taken the time to do so!  There is a lot of great writing and insight out there.  The world is filling up with the awakened and it is a very hopeful thing for me to observe as it happens.  The more this happens, the more voices are added to the mix.  take from them what you can or that you can relate to.  What you do not relate to might simply mean that you do not relate to it now, and you might never relate to it.  All of this is a garden where there are many fruits.  Take what is meaningful to you now and always ask your higher self to show you the way, for as you ask, so shall you receive......whether you are awakened or not!

A Radical Thought

When you read up on the experience of non duality there is a state of awareness that exists where you become aware of a vast endless ocean of a place, some have called the Tao.  This is known and commented about and the accounts are all pretty much the same. It is a formless kind of place, immersed in feeling and beyond all material existence.  This is a place of pure potential, a vast ocean of bliss.  In the works of the Savaists it is often referred to as an ocean of milk, so called because it resembles a field of orgasmic energy out of which all phenomenon flows.  This shows up in the iconography of the Hindu Shiva who has a small fountain coming out the top of his head which is in truth a seminal projection. This semen flows most often either onto the mountains where it flows like a river in small rivulets to the sea or is sometimes flowing over a small altar that depicts the masculine and feminine forms together as one.  This is so depicted because of how the energy of the cosmos feels. Because most people who experienced this were men, it has been quite natural for this depiction to have the associations that it does.  This is why also that there is this idea that seminal fluid is actually distilled into pure prana and allowed to rise up through the spine to the brain.  This is perhaps the most impossible of feats since medicine has established, without a doubt, that the nervous system and the vascular system do not cross.  It is described this way, though because of how it FEELS.  It FEELS like this fluid moving up in the body.  In fact, some practitioners (even today) teach the process of something called sublimation, which they believe is the transformation of seminal fluid into pure pranic energy which can then be used for healing and other work involving ascension.  While the specifics of this may be way off base, the essential sense of it is correct because while this is most certainly NOT seminal fluid (or cervical fluid for that matter) but simply an energy so potent that it FEELS like fluid moving in us that it gets described in this way. This should tell you how powerful and tangible these energies are, and when you feel it moving in your own body, you would swear that this is indeed the case.  Regardless of what you believe, even if you DO believe that you have seminal fluid running up your spine, you can work with this energy as it presents itself to you through visualizing it in just about ANY way that allows you to relate to it on a personal and visceral level, and since prana is itself intelligent, it will respond to your thoughts and feelings.  I am pointing this out because we create all kinds of images for a phenomenon that is entirely nonmaterial.  This, as you will see, is an important point to bear in mind as I move along.

This realm is one where there is no action.  The energy is like a highly distilled substance, a great inexhaustible ocean of energy from which we draw.  There are those who say there is nothing to do here other than to merge into the deity beyond the deity,  and that is that.

I am accustomed to digging into these things and feeling them out and asking new questions and seeking answers we may have missed.  I was once a heyhoka, a term used to describe someone who had had a dream or vision of the thunder beings.  What was so important about the heyhoka was how they struck to the center of things to ferret out their core essence.  Their hearts and souls were the lightening striking that cracks open reality and reveals in that sudden flash of knowing the center of how things are.  As an artist, I am always asking what is at the core of things?  Where does an idea emerge and how is it aligned in terms of its larger expression in the world?  We have the capacity to see in these ways, and for me it means reaching that place where things become startlingly simple and direct.  For me, some things really are very simple. Most of what we see in the world is a jumble of misunderstood things, covered in illusory matter or distortions.  How do we dig deep and find the gold lying deeper within? As an artist, this fits in very well with what I do, which is asking questions about tradition and why we choose to accept the forms and images and symbols that we do. Lying at the core of symbols is also consciousness. How we align to certain imagery also explains a lot about how we are aligned to the divine.

I seriously do feel that all of life is ordered on the yin and yang principle and as such, even the smallest particle is itself a twin of a larger form of consciousness which is itself twinned.  This twin is the yin and yang, the feminine and masculine currents that run straight through everything.  I say masculine and feminine, but these forces grow so broad that they could constitute forms that would not appear to us as being the feminine and masculine we are used to knowing here on the planet.  I would argue that this force is what gives rise to everything and so the deity itself is not some dude hanging out in the hills or clouds but is the very essence of the divine circuitry that requires a continuity with these two poles in order for it to work.  think of it like a magnet or a battery or an electrical circuit.  The energy cycles from one pole to the other.  At no point are these two forms really separate at all even though they give rise to phenomena that might seem distinguishable to our very dual perception and egos which are very good at the task of identifying, sifting, and drawing out one object from a vast field of objects. Conversely, this is why when the ego recedes, we are able to experience vast forms of consciousness and where we can touch the Tao or this ocean of vast potential.  So given this sense I have, I have something for you to consider and see where it takes you.

This vast realm of potential energy is much like the masculine in a way.....it is this pulse of pure energy that seeks some resolution or manifestation.  It is seeking the other side of itself, which is the feminine pole of itself.  In many stories, we often tend to think of a male deity form as existing in this place, somehow separate, off in the mountains or in the clouds.  This notion is not entirely out of place, even if it is itself something of a distortion of the facts.  But for the sake of understanding or relating to this vastness, consider that this sea of milk is indeed the bliss of the masculine.  There is nothing to be done here, certainly if you believe in the way that many have offered thus far. There is nothing that happens here, though, for the endless energy is in a sense incomplete, not yet reaching its fullest potential.....it is just endless bliss and that is good in its own way, but there is more to the story and this is where a very radical thought enters in.

Consider that the essence of all creation is to experience fulfillment by learning to create.  The act of creation is something that marks humans as special, as beings that have evolved to realize this capacity in their natures. But even on the individual level, if you understand the creative impulse, you will know that even in your own self, in your own body, you are bursting at the seams with the yin and yang energy entirely involved in the engine that is the very source of all creation.  Ying and yang energy in you, and in me; in all of us?  Yes.  Even in your brain, which is part of the massive system that helps to store, retrieve and then generate new ideas, you must first have BOTH the left and right hemispheres in your brain working in unison.  The left is very different from the right, and yet without them both we are not as effective creators. 

We know that when people are being creative they activate centers ALL OVER the two-lobed brain.  And these two lobes are VERY much mirrors of the masculine and feminine.  In fact, we tend to refer to them as the masculine left and the feminine right lobes.  If you know how the divine feminine works, there is nothing that could not be a better mirror for HER than the right brain.  And yet, without her partner, the left brain, who can take things apart and put them back together, who can see the tree instead of the forest, this VERY masculine left lobe is able to take the vastness that is the feminine and help to make some sense of it in a form-based way.  It is kind of interesting, too, that the feminine takes what the masculine provides or contributes, breaks it down in the same way that the ovum breaks down the sperm in the woman's body in order to utilize HIS contribution in the creation of new life. A very similar thing happens even in spiritual work, and as you dig into this you can feel the essence of it like a cord holding all of these very beautiful beads on a necklace.  You might be dealing with physical life which appears very different from creating an idea, but the principles are very much the same in ESSENCE. 

BOTH masculine and feminine are in on this act of creation in this magnificent engine that IS creativity.  It happens in our bodies when we make new life and it happens in our bodies when we are creating some new idea.  The effect is the same, or at least VERY similar.  What I am getting around to telling you is that the very radical thought here is that while we all can experience the Tao of endless potential, it is like admiring the feminine or masculine all by themselves.  You are gazing or marinating in only ONE side of a very vast and powerful cosmic coin.  I argue that in order to know divinity both within and "without" we have to go from potential to manifestation.  I say that when we do this we have made the full cycle from one end of the divine consciousness to the other.  Potential without manifestation is "useless" in a way.  Feel inside yourself.....it is a calm quiet place. 

I know; some want to say that this is merely ego wanting to get in on the act by creating something, but first I would say no it isn't and yes it is.  Ego is ALWAYS there, even those who believe they have squashed it like a bug. This is the error.  But beyond ego is also something more.....and it is here that we can know our creative potential in a much broader and much more empowered way.  It is also very beautiful if you can go at it like a child.  Don't worry if ego is in on it.  Ego is always there.  It always will be.  It is just one tool in your vast toolbox of parts.  It is not any more important than any other aspect of yourself and as long as you know how to use the tool without worshiping your tools like the end-all of who you are, you are in a very good place to go into this next "field" of being in a more mature and wise way.   I am going to suggest as an aside that this potential must then exits in all life, even non sentient  since it too is part of a divinity that is at its root creative.  What I am going to suggest to you is that up until you feel into this vast field of bliss, all you are feeling IS potential.  You are not feeling what the deity or Creator felt when it brought this vast field into actualization (or some part of it) You are only experiencing it in its state of rest prior to manifesting (or creating).  Because we are "it" in miniature form,  as individuals carved from the larger block of the divine, our task is also to draw off this energy in order to create. When potential energy meets intent, manifestation begins its FIRST leg of manifestation.  To reach full manifestation or creation, itmust also move through the feminine.  The feminine must be brought into this, and the feminine is so often seen as that force that births the world of things into being.  She is alone able to bear the spark of the masculine into its fullest potential.  Without her, "he" is merely up in those clouds very frustrated, very full of potential, and certainly probably more than just a little frustrated!   I say this in a joking way, but also in a very serious way because when creation is short circuited, frustration emerges as a very natural result.  When you look at epochs where one sexual characteristic predominated you also see a drift into distortion and even madness.  We NEED both sides of the coin in order to realize the fullness of divinity.  We NEED to create.  Creating is NOT just an egoic activity but can become what it was meant to be; a fulfillment of the divine presence.  How it happens depends on what is being created.  In some cases you may be creating on object, a book, a poem, art work, a business, a family, an idea, or a new way to assemble a motor or a theory on how something in the world works. All of this is creative....just as all of life is creative.  But we do not know the full scope of creation until we ourselves take this bliss field and make it into something.  We do this all the time to form events and to bring all of our existences into some new day or level of fulfillment.  Divinity, I say, is not complete until this is done.

When we create we bring intent into the great mystery of the feminine.  It is in her energy that we can imagine vast realms or possibilities.  Her body is the world of phenomenon, she is the Mother of the world.  So as we bring this abstract form of bliss into the world, we are entraining the masculine into the feminine currents and the result is an explosion of ideas and inspiration.  In the same way that your own inner inspiration follows the balancing of the left and right hemispheres of your brain as we have learned that the brain has to do in order to invent and to become inspired, and just as the two hemispheres of the brain mirror the masculine and feminine aspects of our dual natures and the seemingly dual nature of the cosmos, we are effectively dealing with powerful energies that can help us to bring new forms into being.  This same cycle of manifestation can be seen in how babies are made in the physical, but it is also rooted in our bodies, our brains, in how the positive energy moves to the negative, how the hot moves to the cold in thermal dynamics, and how events are created through the circular energy that moves from the inception to manifestation.

Our understanding of divinity is incomplete until we learn the full circuit that this energy flows or follows.  As the two dance and move one through the other in what seems a dual movement, the truth is that the entire world is supported by endless cycles of this dance happening at very small scales and very large ones.  I am of the mind that you can see the result of their presence in all things.  It is a center point of the creator that is buried in everything.  It is a point with no point but many points, a giant dizzying hologram where one piece cleaved from the whole contains the entirety of the whole in its smallest most seemingly insignificant drop or sliver.

Here is where this act can be your teacher, so follow carefully......

What you create is not necessarily ascended master material. In fact, there is a lot that we have done in creating that has brought terrible nightmares.  We have certainly created this, but you see, it is a gift that we have that we can do this.  This is just how important freewill is, and you can learn from what you create by stepping back and looking at the ramifications or results that your own creations have had.  It is true that what you create will be a snap shot of all that you are in this moment, of what you are capable of conceiving and as a result, the material that you have not yet refined in yourself will affect HOW you create.  THis is the tricky part, because in the same way that a clod of dirt in a hose will color the water coming out of it, so too does your own unexamined and more subconscious material color what you create.  Until you bring awareness of these things, you are caught in a cycle of creating with what that dirt clod offers and attracts.  You create, and that creation itself has a magnetic quality attracting all manner of things.  If an artist, what you create will naturally attract a certain type of viewer or person to it.  The life you create does the same thing. If you do not like what you see in your life, look deep within because there is something there that is effecting what you create, even if it is not intentional.  Philip in his gospel (found in 1945 in the Nag Hammadi scroll cache) said that these things in us make us do what we do not want to do and keeps us from doing what we want to do.  So true.  And thus, what you create will be a mirror of all that you are right now, examined or not.  The trick here is to develop awareness of ourselves, to see beyond the dross to what could be or at the very least that there could be something different.  When you reach this place, you are in a perfect position to begin the work that will enable your own consciousness to glimpse broader realms of your own being and of the divine cosmic order.  As we do this, it is as though we realize that it is we who are spinning the web of our lives and can better be able to heal and make the change which will bring us closer to creator which also has the benefit of highlighting the creator within us all.  So no matter where you are in all of this, you are creating the web as you go.  If you can step back and learn from your life and what you create, you can learn to create anew.  You can utilize the world and your place in it for great learning opportunities.  to do this means you have to be very honest and also humble.  If you are headstrong and feel you KNOW how things are, you will be less open to what may have ben eluding you, the blindness that sets in around each of us at each and every moment so long as the blinders stay on.

The thing for me is to realize that this circuitry is right here and right now.  It gives me pause.  WHat did I create today?  Did I help others to help themselves or did I use misplaced compassion to get them to a place I thought they needed to be based on my own set of rules or operative directives?  Did I do what each great teacher does, which is to remind others what was already within them to know and then be a source of inspiration, or did I just parrot a bunch of techniques or traditions just because someone else says that is the way things are?  No matter WHAT I do, I will always be making decisions based on who and what I am.  In this, I can be or do no other.  I am also a being both limited and limitless.  What do I choose to create?  I have a certain span of time here on the planet.  What does my own ego find important? What does my higher self say is important?  How does all this mesh?  How do I strike a healthy balance between all these parts so all of me comes along with no part discarded but healed and brought into its higher realization?

Thales the Presocratic philosopher said that all things are full of gods.  I very much feel that he was expressing a deep truth to the workings of consciousness and the world which is that even in the tiniest thing, there is a larger expression throughout many boundless realms and realities.  If it is true that time is largely illusory, and if what I feel is true, then time spreads out like a vast blanket and we can only touch one point in the physical at one time (at this time).....and yet by looking left or right I can see what other portions of this blanket offers. Perhaps an atom has endless manifestations just as do we, that EVERYTHING that IS is bound up in this fulfillment cycle that is the very basis of creation.  I know that might be a bit much to take in especially if you are used to thinking about humans being the only ones with self determination, a soul, or the ability to reincarnate.  But what I see in the universe is that everything is of a piece.  It is all connected and it is the essence of this connection, of what lies within it that serves to connect it to everything else that is a consistency within all of creation.  THere are no exceptions.  Of course this is what I perceive, what I sense in the Tao and beyond. For as crazy as it may seem, I cannot discount it, and I rather think Thales was right and that he was not taken to idle speculation when he had so few things to say, which makes what he did say all the more important to at least consider.  And once you open your mind to this vast realm of possibility you are standing at the headwaters of a very powerful river which itself leads to an even more vast sea which in turn opens into an ocean which is touched upon by the boundless realm of space.  So as I create, those creations must then have their larger expression through the conical nature of consciousness.....creation which expands outward, or spirals outward and upward.

Buddha was fond of stating how what we do in life matters, what we create in each day is important.  I think he is right.  I think that the act of joining the field of potential to meaningful and conscious creation is the very model for knowing the divine.  For as much as we might want to discount one aspect in favor of another, they are all connected and move evenly together. When we do this, when we bring awareness to what it is we are doing here, we also shed some light on our own actions and thinking that go to make up the divine circuit that moves from intent or potential to manifestation or realization.  I don't think they are complete without each other and just as the particle and wave in physics expresses an aspect of the same thing, so too does potential and realization suggest the completion of the universe in one seemingly insignificant drop.  So the world unfolds like this wonderful canvas and we get to create upon it!  What do I get to create? What juiciness awaits?

Being Love

This thing is self educational....over the last several days it says "Do not be IN love, BE love."  And thus began this process of my insides understanding in a new way the difference between the world of karmic attachment to hurt and the woundedness and this world where we can be free. It is beyond attachment, beyond even needing to BE in love.....because once you reach this place where you ARE love, everything is perfect. No more attachments to the things that caused pain and hurt.  Its hard at first because it means letting go of some pretty profound beliefs about how you think things should go in your life. When you let this love stream through you, and as you conceive of it in ever clearer ways, it has a way of building on that clarity until you almost seem to crave more inner clarity and less dross.....all along this voice is saying to try BEING love instead of wanting to BE in love.  The difference, it says, is that the former transcends ego and karma, allowing one to love in a new way, in a grown up way.  It suggests the old way goes away....and perhaps its a loss in a way, but this next step will take some getting used to.  A careful clearing within as it sets up shop in this way.  Its been fueled all along by the transformative power of kundalini.

Being love is learning to grow up.  Lifetimes of hurt can be tricky to just let go, but let go we must.  As we do, a new world resolves.  A new life awaits us....

Nemasté


UPDATE 4/2/12:  I am reading through tumblr and I see a quote that stands out.  It is by Osho and he is saying not to LOVE a thing but BE the love.  If you can do this, he explains, you will be much happier.  Nothing to lose, nothing to not give or to withhold.....

As I think how quickly I jotted this all down I think back on the image I was being shown of the infinite self verses the earthly self or personality and egoistic self.....and how we very much need to let the earthly go so we can get to the universal self, which is free from karma.  As I think about that, and how it was presented to me, it makes even more sense to me as well as what Osho managed to do in echoing it in near perfect timing without my even going looking for it (this happens all the time).  This has in truth been something I have been struggling against for a while in a very egoistic way.  I am finally reaching some point where I am beginning to get it......I just hope I can embody it, feel into it, learn it, and become it. I can be very stubborn sometimes...

The Point

Waking up and moving beyond old hurts is about building awareness.  There comes a time when you either are or are not aware that the pain and tightness felt is the result of your own misalignment with your divine flow.  Its not that you are bad.  Its that you have allowed material that is inconsequential to your infinite or Essential Self to come between you and it.

People who awaken often have all kinds of symptoms of pain which isn't anything that medicine can diagnose.  Many go home with some prescription or other, but it never solves the problem.  These issues often clear up in time, but only once kundalini helps to identify and bring awareness that its not your BODY that is feeling this, but its your energy body.  In chinese medicine, pain and trauma gets lodged in the energy field.  The idea that we push stuff down is true.  it isn't just in the brain or head.  Its all through us.  Things of a sexual and nurturing nature get lodged in the root.  Issues related to our sensuality are in the sacral.  Issues concerning our individuality are in our gut.  The heart is about our ability to sense in an instinctive way what truth is, divine truth...as well as the pulse of love.  Our throat chakra is involved with being heard and speaking our truth.  And on and on it goes.  These chakras are aligned to feelings because of vibratory frequencies involved in each center.  Taken together, these centers form a complete octave, a kind of range of colors in vibration that make a rainbow.  Its energy and like attracts like.  So naturally, as you become aware, you can feel how your stomach is tight, or how your root is unsettled and tight.  When this happens, it can help you to identify what you are doing with your thoughts and feelings.  It can make you more self aware.  It can help you to learn to get beyond those feelings, and fill that space with a better feeling. FEELING.  Not emotions, though.  We have emotions, and they can often be just as unsettled as our karmas....are often inculcated right alongside our karmas, our attachments to hurts and old old trauma.  This can go back for lifetimes, often resulting in a repeating pattern that is a bit of a rut.  The great thing is this rut can be healed in just one lifetime.  Sometimes in moments.  If you are aware and ready to let go of that old investment.  Problem is, our pains often define us.  It seems kind of crazy, but we are all this way.  And in so being, the way to healing is with a healthy does of compassion and understanding.  For all of us. 

This is about stripping down to nothing.  Then, when you have all the dross of this world removed, you can build based on what your higher self offers.  Your higher self is the parent, is the father and mother that Jesus spoke of (the mother got swept under the rug, but in recently discovered texts he DOES say mother/Holy ghost, which was known as the feminine aspect of the divinity).  Others speak of the same thing.  Your insides are dying to feel into this broad range of being that will flow instead of feel stopped up.  Learning to listen to your inner parentage, your higher self which is both masculine and feminine, is an important tool in developing freedom.  Sadly, the Christian tradition could not allow the feminine her place…..but when you heal the rift between your masculine and feminine, you will FEEL your masculine and feminine in your higher self much more clearly.  There is a lot of work to do, so do not be fooled you have it licked.  You don’t.  You are just a very young being compared to your higher self.  Your higher self has this licked.  Learning to listen to it will never lead you astray.  But most people are clueless about how to do this.  Or how the role of the creative can get them out of the log-jam of their pain and suffering.

Learning to cast awareness is the first step.  Understanding that all that comes between you and the infinite is karmic.  Much of this is so close to you that its hard to see.  There is no work; this is a misunderstood illusory thing.  The only work there is is in letting it all go.  And how do you do that?  Grace.  There is another way to understand it, but I have said it over and over until I am blue.  I am now feeling other colors would be nicer for me.  You do not need a teacher.  The teacher is in you.  What you need is someone who will remind you of your vast storehouse of potential.  What trips you up?  Kundalini?  Nonsense.  You know better than that.  That’s victim talk.  What trips you up is you.  And if you realize that this is true, then what is it in your that is causing all the tripping?  Are you the least bit curious?  If you are, then getting to understand that everything that remains for you in your “process” is entirely inside you.  It is also reflected outside of you in the world, but don’t be fooled into thinking that this reflection IS the reality.  It isn’t.

The Law of Attraction means you will attract the same based on where you are, what you are.  the people in your life reflect all of this.  If you are looking for a teacher and you cannot find awareness, your teacher will also have problems with awareness.  So where will this get you?  The true authority is within you.  You must learn how to grab the can opener and open your own cans.  Otherwise, you give your power over to someone who will rob you of your wealth inwardly.  We have ALL been doing this for centuries.  That is another story.

Learn to feel, learn about grace, and remember what you are.  You are infinite.  Let go.  The universe is calling.