Books Excerpt 4

These are three separate pieces from the book, still in the process of being worked and re-worked..... 

We are ourselves dual beings. We come into this world with a sense of being individual.  This is what I call particle consciousness. We are separate, individual, and what we know, see, feel, touch, and experience is through the lens of this particle awareness.  This is the self that feels as though it is alone in a sea of other selves, all jockeying for position and for a better life.  Somehow, we never seem to get beyond our bubble except in very special circumstances.  Through empathy and compassion, and love, we can move beyond this self to begin to feel for others.  Still, this awareness can be very much bounded by the bubble that we are, resulting in experiences that are more solitary or isolated.  Our conception of what love can be can be limited by this sense of self as separate.  Within this bubble there is the mind and ego, and these deal very well with this type of awareness which is limited, individual, and bounded.  This is not to say that in your particalized awareness that you cannot feel empathy or compassion, you can.  However, the deeper flow of what this compassion is has a certain bounding to it.  Love is something we feel FOR someone most often.  When you shift from this awareness you realize there is a still larger love, larger than anything you have thus far experienced, and this love is not something that you feel whenever the object of your love is present or when you think of them, it is a continuous flow that moves through you. 

          There is another form of awareness or consciousness which I call waveform awareness or consciousness.  This is the innate ability for us to transcend the bubble of our particalized awareness and join or merge with something much larger, a collective of consciousness.  This is where we experience the deity, the Source of all life.  This is also where union with divine comes which sages and mystics have described down through the ages.  When we move from particle to wave, we also experience a shift in energy and how that energy effects us on the individual level.  For as long as the ego has trouble wrapping itself around the experience of the waveform, there is a kind of inner crisis that ensues in these kinds of experiences, especially when an awakening occurs that triggers what is known as kundalini energy (which is life force energy expressed as a wave).  Once the ego knows its place in the grander scheme, then this wave form consciousness can unfold more and more.  It isn’t that particle awareness is the illusion, but that it is simply one of the two states in which we exist.  They are in fact not dual but aspects of the same larger experience.  Every guru or sage or devotee who ever ascended into the rarefied air of bliss always had to deal with life here and now, and this has always involved some sense of individuality.  It is not good or bad, it is simply a way of experiencing a still larger sense of the universe and of universal being. Once particalized consciousness knows that it wont be blotted out by this powerful wave form, it then can learn to be more easy within it and ride the wave and learn a whole new way of being in the world.  This is not an illusion, but one aspect of experience, one in which consciousness has chosen to experience and is absolutely germaine to life here in this reality (despite what many might have to say about this).  One of the most important things for an infinite mind or being to experience is the world of boundedness and limit.  Then, by understanding what that experience is like, it can then learn to integrate the two so the seeming paradox is dissolved (as self dissolves into self, as the two become one--our next stage in understanding where this is all leading us). When you learn the art of the wave form consciousness, you can bring that boundless energy into your life to enliven it, and enrich it in unlimited ways.  

_______________________________________________

The Holographic World

It was the Summer of 2007.  I had taken my daughter to one of the parks in our town and as she played on the jungle gym I watched as she explored and played.  We had recently moved to the area and were just getting settled. I had been thinking of all the things that remained to do, and how we had stuff at our old home that still needed to be moved to our new place.  As I was thinking about all of this, I felt an intensification of the energy. I turned to look across the field to a bank of trees and as I did so it felt as if the world dropped out from under me.  I felt literally pulled along on some wild current  while I could feel the presence of kundalini quiet but suggesting   “Look at the trees.  Look at the world….”  I looked at the trees. What was happening? Something was compelling me, but what?  I was reminded of the movie Phenomenon where a simple man was struck by something that changed his life.  I wondered about that movie and as I did, I felt the Presence bid me to go deeper. I began to feel as though I was being led through a series of steps of phases or realms where there were all these different scales of matter and awareness and it felt like stair steps of a kind, or frequencies of something…..this was all very hard to put to word because it was all being felt.  At first I saw the trees swaying in the breeze  and thought of how these living things were enjoying life as simple trees, but then I felt myself hurdle into their leafy enclosures and saw a bustling city of activity within them, which were cell bodies at a given magnification.  I was aware that my awareness was able to make itself very small, infinitely small almost, in order to make some things appear big.  Then I was brought deeper still beyond the cell into molecular sized scales and even deeper I hurtled until I reached a place I suspected was not measurable by our standards.  The Presence was still there and it indicated that this was the farthest I could go without moving out of  physical reality. I stood there looking at an unimaginably small landscape that was nearly devoid of feature and instead had a milky haze which I took to be some field of energy, kind of like plasma in a cell body; undifferentiated but important in order to be a carrier for something.  This haze was not the result of still smaller particles as far as I could tell.  I was aware of some particles which were white in color but they reminded me as being like yin and yang symbols in that they contained the entirety of the universe in them.  How I knew this, I do not know, but in this world, it was all about perception through FEELING.  I discerned through feeling and did not know how I knew what I knew except that it was inescapably true.  As I “watched” these particles they began to display some interesting properties.

I could feel how they interacted with one another.  I understood that these particles were a building block of matter and themselves did not seem to have mass.  They did have energy and they did have a charge.  They showed to me that the entire universe is built upon this charge of negative and positive, that this charge moved all the way up through the chain of size and had its effect even on larger structures, and events.  I was aware that each particle had its own spin and that it mirrored another particle.  These particles, though, would wink in and out of physical reality as a way of maintaining their energetic dynamism.  It was as if these particles had to go to a zero point in order to move back up the scale of potential.  This itself is a pulsation, and these particles carried within them something akin to a mirror….except this mirror containes the entirety of all universes.  This was something that defied our understanding of space and time.  Further, these particles would move in and out of our physical reality and move into other realities, in to other dimensions. This was as natural to them as, say, a dolphin swimming so fast that it is able to jump out of the water for moments in time only to dip back into the water.  These particles could change their form without any care and since they were building blocks could be individual particles or they could join up with other particles like it in order to form all manner of things, from clouds to rocks to forming the foundation for events.  A particle might take up a given space only to wink out, but it was always phased in with other particles like it in the same space or similar spaces.  This activity was so fast that objects would not seem to lose heir solidity although it did occur to me sometimes to watch for a faint sense of “shimmer.”  While I knew that there was no way to prove what it was I was experiencing, I found it novel that I was, and I chose to let intuition be my guide. 

It was shown to me that these particles are in everything, and that their negative and positive orientation builds worlds, that this energetic principle was behind the soul connection and our waking up to our being as infinite and part of the universe.  I could see as the energy particles in one person would be attracted to those of the other person, that these particles had a way of locking into one another, but even more importantly that one particle acted like a key while the other acted like the lock.  Together they worked in such a way that they quite literally unlocked energetic potential.  This energy was felt as a tide of bliss, of sensual orgasmic energy building between the masculine and feminine in a way that I knew was true, that this was the truth behind the act of lovemaking, and which drove our relationships. This energy created bliss with just a look, with the power of its wave form rippling outward attracting everything with its larger over riding energetic.  I was astonished to feel into this world at such tiny scales what I recognized as existing at larger scales.  Later that night I looked up into the sky at night and felt the earth moving in its orbit around the sun and felt the tug that the sun gave to the earth, and how the earth itself had a child, the moon, tugging against her as they all moved around each other in a way that felt as though its was part of this larger soulful choreography. 

All of this was experienced without having read about concepts of a holographic universe.  I didn’t realize it at the time but this idea had reflections or echoes in the works of other contemporary thinkers.  I would wind up finding mirrors of this same experience in unusual places.  One was in the work of Jane Roberts who had a trance personality who dictated a number of very illuminating books.  One such book, The Nature of Reality describes something nearly identical in some respects, particles of energy which are a basic building block of reality. I would find out from a friend that the work of Eckhart Tolle as well as  David Braden in his books The Divine Matrix and the God Code contain similar concepts. 

No one told me about this experience, it was merely something that I experienced directly.  Within the very atoms of the material world is contained an energy which at first seems neutral to the particalized awareness, but comes alive when we come alive.  Quite suddenly it is as if the world is alive with this energy, and this energy is no longer neutral but alive and aware.  Within all of nature, within matter, are those keys that will help you unlock your own awareness here in the dream of your life.  Within it lies the secret of how the positive and negative poles exist and respond, how healing these poles within yourself leads to a unity of being.  You can see in the Gnostic texts how Jesus said that he was one with the Mother and Father.  This was the masculine and feminine currents within him.  IN the Hindu texts, they speak of Shakti and Shiva reaching a point of union.  When you do this, when you reach this level of healing you literally open the gateway ever wider for your higher being to enter into the moment as a very real and constant experience.  The more you resolve, the more you heal, the less reactive you are to the things in the world around you.  Then things that affected you before no longer effect you.  You are emerging out of a way of being that no longer serves you.  If you will listen the energy in all things will speak to you.  It might be the same simple truth over and over, but it can also reveal all manner of things if you but listen.  This is the birth of gnosis, or knowing.  It was as a result of my experience that I began to scour history for mentions of this and I was able to find them, but in finding them, I only found examples of others touching upon the same thing I did.  I knew what I had experienced was true and real, but I no longer needed someone to tell me my experience was real or true or correct.  This, we come to on our own.  Individually.  

__________________________

In my journey thus far I have had to forgive a host of people, all of whom who hurt me deeply at one time or another.  At first I could not conceive how forgiving these people could help me; after all, I was the one who was done wrong!  Certainly I was justified in my feelings!  Oh my, yes, but as long as that happens so much anger and hurt is kept active in your psyche that real healing is all but impossible.  Examples of the miraculous effects of forgiveness abound and help to illustrate what happens to us when we are willing and able to forgive.  When a heart is free of hurt it is free to love even greater.  The very act of letting go is central to an Awakening.  What seems like a threat at first becomes a blessing because all this experience does is freeing up room in your awareness of your own divine self.  This divine self is a higher state of being that already IS….and by freeing up your insides, you can glimpse this new and amazing world that is just waiting for you to climb on board to discover.  By being willing to let the past be forgiven as long as people were willing to admit to their crimes, Nelson Mandella was able to provide a way out of Apartheit, and was able to give his country a new direction.  While many wanted blood for blood, Mandella insisted upon forgiveness, and the country moved very quickly, in a revolutionary way, through this period in its history where an unprecedented shift in power from the powerful to the relatively powerless occurred.  Amazing.  And perfect.

         The effect that forgiveness has is like how it feels to be carrying a heavy weight all the time that is suddenly released. Because you feel justified in carrying around your victimhood, you don’t really notice too much how heavy the burden gets.  But its effect is very real on you.  Can you remember when you were a kid when you withheld forgiveness from someone and how it made you feel? I can remember having someone on my bad side and I can remember how hard it was to maintain my anger or hurt towards them.  I didn’t always realize it at the time, but when I gave up my hurt or anger or other negative position, I felt a feeling of relief.  I no longer had to maintain this angry state around this person.  I could forgive them and be done with it!  On one side is the feeling of holding onto hurt.  Its understandable that you were hurt by someone or by an event  that took place in your past. But what you may not realize is just how heavy that energy is of hurt.  Much of this is ego-related.  We feel justified in feeling hurt because of how important our own being is.  Surely your being is important, yes, but its greater good is not best served in holding grudges and hurts.   Its less that you say that your hurt is not important as it is that you simply recognize that the very act of holding onto it is hurting you and holding you back.  It isn’t that you give some silent validation to the act that served to hurt you, no, but that there is not going to be anything positive served in seeking to maintain this hurt in you, or to exact revenge or to somehow balance the scales by striking back at someone (whether directly or indirectly).  Forgiveness happens when the old argument inside of you can stop.  Never can forgiveness happen while you still remain embroiled in your own sense of investment in how you were hurt and how that hurt has to be righted.  The truth is the hurt is righted when YOU right it.  People will always do what their freewill moves them to do.  We cannot control others, nor can we even guarantee that the revenge or “justice” we seek will exact the proportional effect on that person that was done to us.  Yet, in our world, we are taught that this kind of justice is what balances the scales. 

The effect that forgiveness has on your physiology is huge. When we allow ourselves to feel relief, happiness,  and other emotions that can come about as a result of forgiveness what we are doing is literally changing our physiological responses to certain things in our lives, mainly our reaction to those things that keep us tied up in knots and steeped in karmic entanglements, and attachment.  By learning to cultivate grace in our lives, we are better able to forgive and move on instead of allowing our bodies to take the huge hit that this anger, fear, worry, sadness, or victimization can have upon us. The effect that this physiology can do involves, among other things, how cortisol burns through your body and eventually it can have an effect on your body’s ability to feel normal.    Forgiveness can also begin to wipe away karma because forgiveness is one of the few spiritual acts of Power that has as profound an effect upon us and our futures than just about any other act other than an act of Love.  Forgiveness is, in all truth, an extension of love.  By being able to forgive, we are learning how to love unconditionally, and the energy which pulses through the universe is such a love, something that animates without regard to race or creed or background or right or wrong. We all deserve to be supported and loved. We are all deserving of forgiveness and the new lease it gives not as much to the forgiven as it gives to the person who has withheld forgiveness.

For other excerpts you can use the search field on the site to search "book excerpt" or go here for the first excerpt posted:  Book Introduction Excerpt   

The second excerpt  is Here.