Chances

What are the chances
two people whose deepest desire
is union with their higher goddess
and godselves.
I know
the 60's woke us up
to so many things
the collective reaching out for something more
as if on perfect cue
the cosmic was found again
imagine that
brought to us by the Beatles and Leary
and travelers and seekers to the East
to bring it back
to marry it
to trigger something
inneffable and waiting
not yet ripe
but growing
and seeking
to integrate it
and let it ripen in our culture
our institutions
our hearts
and bodies
and even minds....
for years yet it had to wind its way
as we all grew up in the shadow of something larger...
Goodness knows it all helped
and yet we both know
we weren't there yet
even if like horses
we were ready to run free at any moment.
But we weren't there yet,
Not you
not I,
for the arc of this
had to ride through countless
permutations
across the collective
ripening with every touch
for them as much as us
until out of the grass sprang
bubbling up like a sacred spring of Magdalene
the yearning toward a sense of mission
a sacred duty
as important as our very lives
maybe even moreso
so that I felt I slowly died
all those years
as an ember of knowing
glowed in my pocket
daring to burn through my pocket
and reveal to the world
that I had not been true enough
or resourceful enough.
The problem was I was so resourceful
I had kept people at bay
and soul needed me to let someone in close....close enough to see
and know
who I was
and remind me
of all I had forgot.

And so how could I now just forget
or let go
when I know
its my very life....
I now feel relief
when before there was strain at not knowing
how on earth
how on this earth
could such a notion be filled?
How indeed.
My relief comes because my soul knows
who you are to me.
So the chances are astronomical
and that alone
is noteworthy....
if our world were just random firings of synapses
or primal ooze sparked to life by some chance mix of elements...
even though we know that's not so at all.

I cannot let you go
when I know you represent
the biggest challenge to my life
and the biggest reward to my soul.
What better way to mark the passing of one age to another?
Truth be told
there is nothing as important as this.
THIS.
All else flows from it
and knowing the order of things
I am ready
fearful sometimes for the scale of it
please Universe treat me gentle....
but knowing that the water has flooded in around me
I cannot go back
nor can go back
for the flow has me
and at each step
a chisel in my hand
to chip away that hard crust

With whom else do hours pass like minutes and days like a cluster of hours?
And where else do I hunger for your smile
your laugh
not just as a nice thing to hear
but as something I hungrily want to feel move all through me.
I do.
I have always done that
because while what you say is so important
what you ARE is even more important
because without that
you would not be YOU.

Besides
I need you.
I am worried about that a bit
just how much it impacts me....
like maybe I need to work on that
I could spend all my time feeling your breath
your face close to mine
with me unable to get close enough to you.

I need you.

I am tired of saying why
because I want to be near you
not just saying how I miss you because that means you are not near....
I want to be near my own sense of promise
and you light that up inside of me
like nothing else
like no one else.
And if its just random firings of chance
well then chance is pretty amazing
but we both know that's not it....
but even if it were---
amazing either way.
When I think of you
when I feel you
I come closer to what I am inside
the lost land
of my soul
which I once knew
in bits and pieces.
But like Osiris
it is time
for Isis
to reminder her shattered lover
that he can be made whole.
Through her
her own sacred power
a touch so soft
a kiss so deep
a vibration that propagates,
ennervates,
and motivates like nothing else....
to peel back the layers
to let drop what's not necessary
to that which is essential.

What I know is there is work to do
so to it I must go
building and shifting
changing
letting go the old
bringing up the even older
the timeless parts.

So really
really
what are the chances?
The chances are what makes this possible
to be full of grace
and surrender
to give it a chance
and honor the miracle
that we are.
That's a kind of chance I'd like to take
with you
because I know the kind of bliss
and joy we can find
as I stare unafraid into you
and you into me
as we look into that forever of Us.