Trimorphic Protennoia

This is an early Christian initiatory rite developed by the Savior, whom we know to be Jesus, discovered in the cache of documents now known as the Nag Hammadi codices.  These scrolls, some predating the gospels By Mark, Luke and Mathew, have brought back into sharp focus that which the early church dismissed out of hand and represent a powerful understanding of the route to the divine that lies within each of us.  These documents were discovered in the mid-40's outside of a town in Egypt at a time when we were more ready to see them for what they are, which is a sacred path to awakening the divine that is within each of us. 

The Nag Hammadi Library

Trimorphic Protennoia

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Translated by John D. Turner

I am Protennoia, the Thought that dwells in the Light. I am the movement that dwells in the All, she in whom the All takes its stand, the first-born among those who came to be, she who exists before the All. She (Protennoia) is called by three names, although she dwells alone, since she is perfect. I am invisible within the Thought of the Invisible One. I am revealed in the immeasurable, ineffable (things). I am incomprehensible, dwelling in the incomprehensible. I move in every creature.
I am the life of my Epinoia that dwells within every Power and every eternal movement, and (in) invisible Lights and within the Archons and Angels and Demons, and every soul dwelling in Tartaros, and (in) every material soul. I dwell in those who came to be. I move in everyone and I delve into them all. I walk uprightly, and those who sleep, I awaken. And I am the sight of those who dwell in sleep.
I am the Invisible One within the All. It is I who counsel those who are hidden, since I know the All that exists in it. I am numberless beyond everyone. I am immeasurable, ineffable, yet whenever I wish, I shall reveal myself of my own accord. I am the head of the All. I exist before the All, and I am the All, since I exist in everyone.
I am a Voice speaking softly. I exist from the first. I dwell within the Silence that surrounds every one of them. And it is the hidden Voice that dwells within my, within the incomprehensible, immeasurable Thought, within the immeasurable Silence.
I descended to the midst of the underworld, and I shone down upon the darkness. It is I who poured forth the water. It is I who am hidden within radiant waters. I am the one who gradually put forth the All by my Thought. It is I who am laden with the Voice. It is through me that Gnosis comes forth. I dwell in the ineffable and unknowable ones. I am perception and knowledge, uttering a Voice by means of thought. I am the real Voice. I cry out in everyone, and they recognize it (the voice), since a seed indwells them. I am the Thought of the Father, and through me proceeded the Voice, that is, the knowledge of the everlasting things. I exist as Thought for the All -- being joined to the unknowable and incomprehensible Thought -- I revealed myself -- yes, I -- among all those who recognize me. For it is I who am joined with everyone by virtue of the hidden Thought and an exalted , even a Voice from the invisible Thought. And it is immeasurable, since it dwells in the Immeasurable One. It is a mystery; it is unrestrainable by the Incomprehensible One. It is invisible to all those who are visible in the All. It is a Light dwelling in Light.
It is we also who alone have separated from the visible world, since we are saved by the hidden wisdom, by means of the ineffable, immeasurable Voice. And he who is hidden within us pays the tributes of his fruit to the Water of Life.
Then the Son who is perfect in every respect -- that is, the Word who originated through that Voice; who proceeded from the height; who has within him the Name; who is a Light -- he revealed the everlasting things, and all the unknowns were known. And those things difficult to interpet and secret, he revealed. And as for those who dwell in Silence with the First Thought, he preached to them. And he revealed himself to those who dwell in darkness, and he showed himself to those who dwell in the abyss, and to those who dwell in the hidden treasuries, he told ineffable mysteries, and he taught unrepeatable doctrines to all those who became Sons of the Light.
Now the Voice that originated from my Thought exists as three permanences: the Father, the Mother, the Son. Existing perceptibly as Speech, it (Voice) has within it a Word endowed with every , and it has three masculinities, three powers, and three names. They exist in the manner of Three ... -- which are quadrangels -- secretly within a silence of the Ineffable One.
It is he alone who came to be, that is, the Christ. And, as for me, I anointed him as the glory of the Invisible Spirit, with goodness. Now the Three, I established alone in eternal glory over the Aeons in the Living Water, that is, the glory that surrounds him who first came forth to the Light of those exalted Aeons, and it is in glorious Light that he firmly perseveres. And he stood in his own Light that surrounds him, that is, the Eye of the Light that gloriously shines on me. He perpetuated the Father of all Aeons, who am I, the Thought of the Father, Protennoia, that is, Barbelo, the perfect Glory, and the immeasurable Invisible One who is hidden. I am the Image of the Invisible Spirit, and it is through me that the All took shape, and (I am) the Mother (as well as) the Light which she appointed as Virgin, she who is called 'Meirothea', the incomprehensible Womb, the unrestrainable and immeasurable Voice.
Then the Perfect Son revealed himself to his Aeons, who originated through him, and he revealed them and glorified them, and gave them thrones, and stood in the glory with which he glorified himself. They blessed the Perfect Son, the Christ, the only-begotten God. And they gave glory, saying, "He is! He is! The Son of God! The Son of God! It is he who is! The Aeon of Aeons, beholding the Aeons which he begot. For thou hast begotten by thine own desire! Therefore we glorify thee: ma mo o o o eia ei on ei! The Aeon of Aeons! The Aeon which he gave!"
Then, moreover, the God who was begotten gave them (the Aeons) a power of life on which they might rely, and he established them. The first Aeon he established over the first: Armedon, Nousanios, Armozel; the second he established over the second Aeon: Phaionios, Ainios, Oroiael; the third over the third Aeon: Mellephaneus, Loios, Daveithai; the fourth over the fourth: Mousanios, Amethes, Eleleth. Now those Aeons were begotten by the God who was begotten - the Christ - and these Aeons received as well as gave glory. They were the first to appear, exalted in their thought, and each Aeon gave myriads of glories within great untraceable lights, and they all together blessed the perfect Son, the God who was begotten.
Then there came forth a word from the great Light Eleleth, and said, "I am king! Who belongs to Chaos and who belongs to the underworld?" And at that instant, his Light appeared, radiant, endowed with the Epinoia. The Powers of the Powers did not entreat him, and likewise immediately there appeared the great Demon who rules over the lowest part of the underworld and Chaos. He has neither form nor perfection, but, on the contrary, possesses the form of the glory of those begotten in the darkness. Now he is called 'Saklas', that is, 'Samael', 'Yaltabaoth', he who had taken power; who had snatched it away from the innocent one (Sophia); who had earlier overpowered her who is the Light`s Epinoia who had descended, her from whom he had come forth from originally.
Now when the Epinoia of the Light realized that he (Yaltabaoth) had begged him (the Light) for another order, even though he was lower than she, she said, "Give me another order, so that you may become for me a dwelling place, lest I dwell in disorder forever." And the order of the entire house of glory was agreed upon her word. A blessing was brought for her and the higher order released it to her.
And the great Demon began to produce aeons in the likeness of the real Aeons, except that he produced them out of his own power.
Then I too revealed my Voice secretly, saying, "Cease! Desist, (you) who tread on matter; for behold, I am coming down to the world of mortals for the sake of my portion that was in that place from the time when the innocent Sophia was conquered, she who descended, so that I might thwart their aim which the one revealed by her appoints." And all were disturbed, each one who dwells in the house of the ignorant light, and the abyss trembled. And the Archigenetor of ignorance reigned over Chaos and the underworld, and produced a man in my likeness. But he neither knew that that one would become for him a sentence of dissolution, nor does he recognize the power in him.
But now I have come down and reached down to Chaos. And I was with my own who were in that place. I am hidden within them, empowering them, giving them shape. And from the first day until the day when I will grant mighty glory to those who are mine, I will reveal myself to those who have heard my mysteries, that is, the Sons of the Light.
I am their Father, and I shall tell you a mystery, ineffable and indivulgeable by any mouth: Every bond I loosed from you, and the chains of the demons of the underworld I broke, these things which are bound on my members, restraining them. And the high walls of darkness I overthrew, and the secure gates of those pitiless ones I broke, and I smashed their bars. And the evil force, and the one who beats you, and the one who hinders you, and the tyrant, and the adversary, and the one who is King, and the present enemy, indeed all these I explained to those who are mine, who are the Sons of the Light, in order that they might nullify them all, and be saved from all those bonds, and enter into the place where they were at first.
I am the first one who descended on account of my portion which remains, that is, the Spirit that dwells in the soul, which originated from the Water of Life, and out of the immersion of the mysteries. And I spoke, I, together with the Archons and Authorities. For I had gone down below their language, and I spoke my mysteries to my own - a hidden mystery - and the bonds and eternal oblivion were nullified. And I bore fruit in them, that is, the Thought of the unchanging Aeon, and my house, and their Father. And I went down to those who were mine from the first, and I reached them and broke the first strands that enslaved them. Then everyone of those within me shone, and I prepared a pattern for those ineffable Lights that are within me. Amen.

The Discourse of Protennoia: One

I am the Voice that appeared through my Thought, for I am 'He who is syzygetic' since I am called 'the Thought of the Invisible One'. Since I am called 'the unchanging Speech', I am called 'She who is syzygetic'.
I am a single one, since I am undefiled. I am the Mother of the Voice, speaking in many ways, completing the All. It is in me that knowledge dwells, the knowledge of everlasting. It is I who speak within every creature, and I was known by the All. It is I who lift up the Speech of the Voice to the ears of those who have known me, that is, the Sons of the Light.
Now I have come the second time in the likeness of a female, and have spoken with them. And I shall tell them of the coming end of the Aeon and teach them of the beginning of the Aeon to come, the one without change, the one in which our appearance will be changed. We shall be purified within those Aeons from which I revealed myself in the Thought of the likeness of my masculinity. I settled among those who are worthy in the Thought of my changeless Aeon.
For I shall tell you a mystery of this particular Aeon, and tell you about the forces that are in it. The birth beckons; hour begets hour, day begets day. The months made known the month.Time has gone round succeeding time. This particular Aeon was completed in this fashion, and it was estimated, and it (was) short, for it was a finger that released a finger, and a joint that was separated from a joint. Then, when the great Authorities knew that the time of fulfillment had appeared - just as in the pangs of the parturient it (the time) has drawn near, so also had the destruction approached - all together the elements trembled, and the foundations of the underworld and the ceilings of Chaos shook, and a great fire shone within their midst, and the rocks and the earth were shaken like a reed shaken by the wind. And the lots of Fate and those who apportion the domiciles were greatly disturbed over a great thunder. And the thrones of the Powers were disturbed, since they were overturned, and their King was afraid. And those who pursue Fate paid their allotment of visits to the path, and they said to the Powers, "What is this disturbance and this shaking that has come upon us through a Voice to the exalted Speech? And our entire habitation has been shaken, and the entire circuit of the path of ascent has met with destruction, and the path upon which we go, which takes us up to the Archgenitor of our birth, has ceased to be established for us."
Then the Powers answered, saying, "We too are at loss about it, since we did not know what was responsible for it. But arise, let us go up to the Archgenitor and ask him." And the powers all gathered and went up to the Archgenitor. They said to him, "Where is your boasting in which you boast? Did we not hear you say, "I am God, and I am your Father, and it is I who begot you. and there is none beside me"? Now behold, there has appeared a Voice belonging to that invisible Speech of the Aeon which we know not. And we ourselves did not recognize to whom we belong, for that Voice which we listened to is foreign to us, and we did not recognize it; we did not know whence it was. It came and put fear in our midst and weakening in the members of our arms. So now let us weep and mourn most bitterly! As for the future, let us make our entire flight before we are imprisoned perforce, and taken down to the bosom of the underworld. For already the slackening of our bondage has approached, and the times are cut short, and the days have shortened, and our time has been fulfilled, and the weeping of our destruction has approached us, so that we may be taken to the place we recognize. For as for our tree from which we grew, a fruit of ignorance is what it has; and also its leaves, it is death that dwells in them, and darkness dwells under the shadow of its boughs. And it was in deceit and lust that we harvested it, this (tree) through which ignorant Chaos became for us a dwelling place. For behold, even he, the Archgenitor of our birth, about whom we boast, even he did not know this Speech."
So now, O sons of the Thought, listen to me, to the Speech of the Mother of your mercy, for you have become worthy of the mystery hidden from the Aeons, so that you might receive it. And the consummation of this particular Aeon and of the evil life has approached, and there dawns the beginning of the Aeon to come, which has no change forever.
I am androgynous. I am Mother (and) I am Father, since I copulate with myself. I copulated with myself and with those who love me, and it is through me alone that the All stands firm. I am the Womb that gives shape to the All by giving birth to the Light that shines in splendor. I am the Aeon to come. I am the fulfillment of the All, that is, Meirothea, the glory of the Mother. I cast voiced Speech into the ears of those who know me.
And I am inviting you into the exalted, perfect Light. Moreover, (as for) this (Light), when you enter it, you will be glorified by those who give glory, and those who enthrone will enthrone you. You will accept robes from those who give robes, and the baptizers will baptize you, and you will become gloriously glorious, the way you first were when you were .
And I hid myself in everyone and revealed myself within them, and every mind seeking me longed for me, for it is I who gave shape to the All when it had no form. And I transformed their forms into (other) forms, until the time when a form will be given to the All. It is through me that the Voice originated, and it is I who put the breath within my own. And I cast into them the eternally Holy Spirit, and I ascended and entered my Light. I went up upon my branch and sat there among the Sons of the holy Light. And I withdrew to their dwelling place which [...] become glorious [...]. Amen.

On Fate: Two

I am the Word who dwells in the ineffable Voice. I dwell in undefiled Light and a Thought revealed itself perceptibly through the great Speech of the Mother, although it is a male offspring that supports me as my foundation. And it (the Speech) exists from the beginning in the foundations of the All.
But there is a Light that dwells hidden in Silence, and it was first to come forth. Whereas she (the Mother) alone exists as Silence, I alone am the Word, ineffable, unpolluted, immeasurable, inconceivable. It (the Word) is a hidden Light, bearing a fruit of life, pouring forth a living water from the invisible, unpolluted, immeasurable spring, that is, the unreproducible Voice of the glory of the Mother, the glory of the offspring of God; a male virgin by virtue of a hidden Intellect, that is, the Silence hidden from the All, being unreproducible, an immeasurable Light, the source of the All, the root of the entire Aeon. It is the foundation that supports every movement of the Aeons that belong to the mighty glory. It is the foundation of every foundation. It is the breath of the powers. It is the eye of the three permanences, which exist as Voice by virtue of Thought. And it is a Word by virtue of Speech; it was sent to illumine those who dwell in the darkness.
Now behold! I will reveal to you my mysteries, since you are my fellow brethren, and you shall know them all.
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I told all of them about my mysteries that exist in the incomprehensible, inexpressible Aeons. I taught them the mysteries through the Voice that exists within a perfect Intellect, and I became a foundation for the All, and I empowered them.
The Second time I came in the Speech of my Voice. I gave shape to those who took shape, until their consummation.
The Third time I revealed myself to them in their tents as Word, and I revealed myself in the likeness of their shape. And I wore everyone's garment, and I hid myself within them, and they did not know the one who empowers me. For I dwell within all the Sovereignties and Powers, and within the angels, and in every movement that exists in all matter. And I hid myself within them until I revealed myself to my brethren. And none of them (the Powers) knew me, although it is I who work in them. Rather, they thought that the All was created by them, since they are ignorant, not knowing their root, the place in which they grew.
I am the Light that illumines the All. I am the Light that rejoices in my brethren, for I came down to the world of mortals on account of the Spirit that remains in that which descended (and) came forth from the innocent Sophia. I came, and I delivered [...], and I went to ...
(5 lines missing)
... which he had formerly, and I gave to him from the Water of Life, which strips him of the chaos that is in the uttermost darkness that exists inside the entire abyss, that is, the thought of the corporeal and the psychic. All these I put on. And I stripped him of it, and I put upon him a shining Light, that is, the knowledge of the Thought of the Fatherhood.
And I delivered him to those who give robes - Yammon, Elasso, Amenai - and they covered him with a robe from the robes of the Light; and I delivered him to the baptizers, and they baptized him - Micheus, Michar, Mnesinous - and they immersed him in the spring of the Water of Life. And I delivered him to those who enthrone - Bariel, Nouthan, Sabenai - and they enthroned him from the Throne of Glory. And I delivered him to those who glorify - Ariom, Elien, Phariel - and they glorified him with the glory of the Fatherhood. And those who snatch away snatched away - Kamaliel, [...]anen, Samblo, and the servants of great holy luminaries - and they took him into the light-place of his Fatherhood. And he received the Five seals from the Light of the Mother, Protennoia, and it was granted him to partake of the mystery of knowledge, and he became a Light in Light.
So now ...
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... I was dwelling in them in the form of each one. The Archons thought that I was their Christ. Indeed, I dwell in everyone. Indeed, within those in whom I revealed myself as Light, I eluded the Archons. I am their beloved, for in that place I clothed myself as the son of the Archgenitor, and I was like him until the end of his decree, which is the ignorance of Chaos. And among the angels I revealed myself in their likeness, and among the Powers, as if I were one of them; but among the Sons of Man, as if I were a Son of Man, even though I am Father of everyone.
I hid myself within them all until I revealed myself among my members, which are mine, and I taught them about the ineffable ordinances, and (about) the brethren. But they are inexpressible to every Sovereignty and every ruling Power, except the Sons of the Light alone, that is, the ordinances of the Father. These are the glories that are higher than every glory, that is, the Five Seals, complete by virtue of Intellect. He who possesses the Five Seals of these particular names has stripped off garments of ignorance and put on a shining Light. And nothing will appear to him that belongs to the Powers of the Archons. Within those of this sort, darkness will dissolve and ignorance will die. And the thought of the creature, which is scattered, will present a single appearance and dark Chaos will dissolve and ...
(6 lines fragmentary)
... until I reveal myself to all my fellow brethren, and until I gather together all my fellow brethren within my eternal kingdom. And I proclaimed to them the ineffable Five Seals in order that I might abide in them and they also might abide in me.
As for me, I put on Jesus. I bore him from the cursed wood, and established him in the dwelling places of his Father. And those who watch over their dwelling places did not recognize me. For I, I am unrestrainable, together with my seed; and my seed, which is mine, I shall place into the holy Light within an incomprehensible Silence. Amen.

The Discourse of the Appearance: Three

Trimorphic Protennoia, in Three Parts
A Sacred Scripture written by the Father with perfect Knowledge

Original translation of this text was prepared by members of the
Coptic Gnostic Library Project of the Institute for Antiquity and Christianity, Claremont Graduate School.
The Coptic Gnostic Library Project was funded by UNESCO, the National Endowment for the Humanities, and other Institutions.
E. J. Brill has asserted copyright on texts published by the Coptic Gnostic Library Project.

Healing the Womb of Woman and Man - The Return To The Garden

The old lineage speaks of the light body containing both the man and woman, a kind of totality in one.  The yin and yang.  Lock and key.  We are this.  All is this, down to the atom.  Simple, uncomplicated, but capable of great complexity.  The making of reality, of worlds. 

In each of us twin currents reside.  These two we call the man and woman.  What they are is a mystery.  Keeping them a mystery gives them room to grow.  Within us all, the marrow of matter and the soul of being exists a template, a field of energy that naturally organizes within us a range of vibration.  This field, which is the light body, capacitated by the electricity that our bodies generate, we bring the cosmic into our bodies.  Conductors of the cosmic bliss field.  But awareness is necessary to turn it on.  Within it lies a range of vibrations, currents and bundles of energy that go from low to high.  Within this field fear can cause energy to slow, creating an attenuation of the flow. Within this flow, the chakras spin and move, vortices corresponding to different vibrations that serve to make up our experience.  As each center is cleared, awareness clears also.  What once mastered us is no longer.  Old programs in this field are overwritten.  A new story is possible.  The chalk board, which seemed chiseled in stone is rendered to clarity and emptiness. 

IN each of us lies a center within the root to sacral that is the foundation for the creative energies that we use to build our lives; our abundance, our sense of nurture, self worth, and creative potential.  Little surprise that these form a kind of nexus where the creative energies are at their peak in the most sensual of ways.  As long as these centers are blocked, it is hard for many to create from the place of the root/sacral duality.  This forms, energetically, a womb within.  It is a place, where whether you are a man or woman, you can tap into it and begin healing this area within your energy field, the light body.  For men who have not experienced nurture as children, feeling the flow of this energy within is an epiphany moment.  It has the capacity to heal and set right what had been wrong for so long.  For women, it can put you back in touch with the nurturing force that brought you into this world and which you emulate now as a woman. This nurturing sense that lies within the feminine psyche is powerful when we are aligned with bodies that are female.  The spiritual becomes manifest for women, and the healing power that a woman holds exists in her ability to birth new ideas, new ways of being and seeing.  Woman is one side of the creative paradigm.  And so it should be no surprise that when men are able to tap this region that it can put them into touch with their own creative potential.  This is about making men less then men, but waking us all up more to our potentials as human beings.  This is less about the experience of actual conception and life nurture in the womb and more about how our energy bodies coincide with these parts of us. 

The great challenge is that the womb of every person on the planet is in rough shape.  The act of clearing this, of cleansing and healing is something that will make your own creative potential something that is capable of reaching a new place of realization.  I wont say it will make you crazy creative, because creativity is in truth something that we bid....that we bring into us as a type of grace that is akin to falling in love.  It is a surrender of the self to something larger within and without. It is really quite beautiful.  Its message touches on this world and more. 

It is time to recognize the feminine in each of us so that we might be nurtured, softened, humanized, awakened to our greater potential. 

For the last year I have been doing this work, feeling the last parts of my own inner clearing take place as what remains expresses as a field of old hurt radiating through my energy body, now chiseled down to the root and sacral and which now feels like.....a womb form.  So much of it now is about a fundamental form of creativity, of rebuilding the self, of remaking the self.  It is here in our own energy womb that we do this.  While I have a keen awareness of feeling the past in this region, simply placing your awareness in this location is enough to begin to build awareness. Imagination, believe it or not is the builder of reality when it comes to the energetic world. It is in this gateway that all creation begins. 

Breathing into the center is one way to being feeling your energetic potential there.  the results of getting in touch with it might not be immediate for some.  Give it time.  Using your mind to see this region of your body being cleansed by a wave of deep ocean blue, of wind, or fire.  Burning, transforming, cleansing.  Feeling into this, imagine that what comes out of this center is moved upward and transmuted as it goes.  These ancient ghosts need not be known or seen.  it is the past and it is enough to allow them to remain this way.  Moving this material is itself the most compassionate thing you can do for yourself and the planet because it frees up creative potential in a way that is new.  It is something that we all could use here on the earth. 

Allowing breath to become the chief means for moving energy, you can imagine breath as water or fire or any number of elements that serve to move energy in your body.  A simple "I am ready" is often enough to begin the loosening process and then being willing to go back to it numerous times to reinforce the loosening.  Pay attention to your dreams and giving yourself the suggestion upon going to sleep that you will continue to do this work in your dreaming will help to reinforce awareness about the issue.  the first step toward healing is awareness.  Just like with creativity, there is also another aspect to the creation and healing paradigm; incubation.  Often using the conscious mind is necessary to initiate the process of healing, but the subconscious may need some times for the information to perculate through it if it is going to be of any assistance.  This incubation period is indeterminate; everyone is different so a day or week or month....and even years are possible.  The trick I have found is that when you can cease trying to achieve preconceived notions of what it is you need or want, you literally allow the most easily things to be healed first.  I can tell you that in awakening, my release of material has gone in a fashion where the easiest things have gone first.  It all has had a logic of its own that is based on the path of least resistance.  Do you know what is the most ready to go within you? It is possible to let your higher self do the work for you.  To do this, you simply need to take a simple perspective; allow yourself to be led.  Christians speak of giving it up to God.  This is itself not that different. When we surrender like this, we put our fate into the hands of our higher order, our higher selves.  It always results in the best possible outcome each and every time. It means learning to trust instead of having to always try to figure out what needs to be done.  When stacked against cosmic consciousness, I choose it each and every time over the mere rational mind.  There is something about its existing outside of time that gives it a unique perspective. 

If you can follow this kind of route, you can, without aid of teacher or guru, find the exact things that you need most to heal and release.Your awareness will grow with each release, with each shift.  As this happens, these releases can lead to large avalanches within that helps to lead you back to your essential self. 

It is time.  You can create this garden within one release at a time just like a gardener pulls up old noxious weeds.  The secret?  The Tree of Life lives inside of us.  The Garden of Eden is who we are, our light bodies.  Adam and Eve both exist side by side within us in our light bodies, the fusion of the yin and yang, the shakti and shiva.  We were meant to be this.  Not androgynous, no, but bearing the most that we can be so that we can understand more clearly how to bridge the gaps that may greet us in life less as problems and more as opportunities for understanding and healing. 

May we all find the light that is within, to know it in each moment in each day.  This light has the power to transform us.  All of us. 

Sacred Man

You want to know who he is so you may find him to make him yours.  He is the sacred man, the lover of your soul, the brilliant creature that will bear you to that place where all your dreams will come true.  But you should not look for him outside, for he is not there.  He is instead living in every man, but often lies so deep that he is not known in our world. Living in each man is the sacred man, and his flesh makes up the flesh of each man, regardless of what you think he is or is not. 

Just knowing this is enough to bring him out. He has been hiding for a long time.  In fact, he has been hiding just as long as the sacred woman has been hiding.  This is the condition of the world.  We are all this.  We are all one family of very scared people who have grown to fear love. To be love means you have to open up, and this is very scary indeed.  We have reasons galore that illustrate how opening only led to hurt.  We tell ourselves in the silence of our empty beds that opening up in this way is dangerous and must be avoided at all costs.  Even those who espouse opening up themselves are fearful of the hammer coming down. We are a world of fearful people who have their finger on a bottle that holds a genie inside.  We might KNOW that the genie is inside, and we might even SAY that we need to let him or her out, but in truth, it is easier not to.  It is safer. Just yesterday I was discussing the world of energy with some people involved in medicine in order to highlight how important I think it is to bring compassion to the medical field even in the face of this tendency some have to view people more like machines that need to be worked on.  the lesson in it was not to become attached to patients.  If you care too much, you will only hurt.  So the world grows harder and more caloused by the day.  These people remarked that I ought to have a show that talked about all of this.  I explained that I could read energy, that we ALL could....and that in seeing it, it might help people in the medical profession in many unseen ways.  I responded by pulling back, of feeling a twinge of fear.  if I had a show like that, I considered, people might think I was just a kook.  My fear is in not being understood. Fear.  And it bars us in some way from love.  Not love from others, although this certainly can happen, but from the one love that matters most.  I wont even say that this is a love that is us, even though it is.....it is more like the force that causes rivers to flow or the wind to blow.  It is wild and it is free and it is also powerful. It is freely given and spreads out through a garden like sunshine drenched on every leaf.  Why, the sun does not deicde which leaf will get to feel its touch.  No!  It is freely given.

And so we need to be more like this.  We need to come out of our shells, wake up and see that it is a new day.  Surely.  And when we do this I think we want to naturally support the very best in people instead of pointing to faults or shortcomings.  The Sacred Man has a gaze that burns all of that away.  It is just too much of a time waster.  In Him lies a great pulse of life that will shine through everything and will be one part of the knitting back of our world.  His voice will be in the stars at night, and his warmth will be like that of the sun. you will feel his shower of photons upon you, each small particles of realization of how things must be.  He carries a dizzying pulse of bliss that begs to be released.  He is a lover beyond words.  He is startling in his approach and swift in his decision. His touch is perfect and his gaze is steady.  But the only way he can be is if you too are anchored in the same kind of place.  It is a funny thing; he can be all around you, but you will only know Him when you yourself wake up to what he is already within you. 

He is one half of the world that we know.  He knows he is not the whole world and honors the other half.  He does not have to fear making mistakes.  He is utterly without actions that could lead to such things.  He has resolved into the most basic and fundamental of ways to be.  He is pure radiance.  Enter into his light if you dare, or feel his radiance falling all around you.  He seeks the other half of what he knows that he is growing to become. 

His presence is in every quivering leaf, every brook, deer, apple and dust mote in the stillness of space.  His essence is found in everything that is, that ever existed, and while you may go look for him as a singular entity, you will be captured by his multiplicity, perhaps confounded by it.  Each man that is carries him in him.  Are they the same?  This is difficult to explain.  We are all individual and universal.  He is certainly there in an almost parental way to us, but he takes so many forms.  Somewhere the essence resolves back to an origin as his many faces spread out like a vast tapestry.  How each man is serves as the filtering device that colors and shapes how his face has come to be known.  He can be many things, and his waters run deep and mix into so many different currents that it is enough to cause the mind to boggle.  What we know of him, though, is largely fragmentary in some respects, for he does not yet exist in totality on the planet.  there are those of us that are learning how to channel his presence so that he may bring what is his own gift to the world.  When you stand before him in this way when he is being brought into the moment, the world changes into a magical place.  Even as a woman who can channel the deep currents of her own sacred She brings a new caste and color to a room or world by her simply being Her, so too does this Sacred Man light up the room.  he is quiet and unassuming.  He can even go unnoticed if you don't know what to look for. 

But for those who can touch their own masculine within that is the Sacred Man, there comes ripple of energy so purely made of bliss, so potent and expectant and ready, it is as if a curtain is suddenly pulled back on the world.  It is little wonder that we have wrapped stories of gods around this man.  We do this to try and capture something that is transcendent.  In doing so, though, we also lose it. The story becomes more like a bookmark; it is a reminder of what we all know deeper down as the story of our own souls.  As we begin to remember, we also tend to tease him out of the cosmic matrix of being.  He shows up.  He glistens in the light.  He is made new by our expectation or intent. And there is nothing more rewarding for those who know how to bear him to this world.  It isn't even that it is a point of pride.  It isn't about that at all. There is no pride in it.  There is bliss.  this bliss is so strong it literally bleaches out all of the heavier considerations as all goes to white light.  He will eventually resolve back into forms that have no form, into light, then a golden glimmer, and then nothing.  Nothing, I say, except feeling.  He goes back to the primordial beginning of beginnings.  He is there like a King with his Queen. 

This is a part of what the divine is in all of us.  He ripples and grows within the awareness of the Collective Consciousness of the race.  He is turning and growing in strength as one by one, men will learn of his great secret, which they will find are their own secret.  this secret will become manifest moment by moment.  A new way of being will be revealed when the time is right.

Her Love

She was loved by a force so certain

he lived between the leaves of her story

and emerged as a perfectly concrete imagining

that went beyond all reality.

She moves into that vast ocean of bliss where he moves and ducks and weaves

with her

for her

near her

around her.

Goddess

her God

spelling out sacred syllables

words that bear worlds into form

Kundalini

It is time to cast aside the conceptual veils that have served to frame what we think kundalini is.
For ages we have relied on what others in the past have had to say, never once asking ourselves if this is true in our own experience.  Because we have not, our experience has been informed, blinded even, by those old concepts.

Kundalini is said to rise....separate currents of feminine and masculine seen as two serpents moving up the spine.  Some have said kundalini is the feminine Shakti as she moves upward to meet the masculine Shiva in the crown.  I ask you, how have we arrived at this when it is so clear what is happening?

The moment you feel kundalini moving in you you are experiencing the Truth of the divine. The bliss you feel is their union from the moment they dive into your body.  They are not struggling to merge into one, they already are.  They are an extra temporal gift to your awareness in duality.  How have we taken what is one and made it two?  Because that is how we think. It must be man and woman, woman and man. Isn't that how it is in the physical?  How can man and woman be one?  How can yin and yang be one?  In much the same way that the Hindu tradition described Shakti AS kundalini force, raw and unrefined, she, according to the story, must move upwards through the body to reach her counterpart Shiva in the crown.  He resides there in perfected splendor. Now here is a perfect way to understand how your belief and your thinking can blind you and alter your experience.  Here are millions of Hindus who believe this is so, and others follow because surely they must know.  And yet, if the power of kundalini comes about from their union, then why must Shakti rise and perfect herself? Why is Shiva already perfect yet waiting for her?  Why would one be refined while the other is not?  The answer is cultural.  It is a patriarchal society and women do not hold the same place as men. Its just as reasonable to make an argument that its men who are the unrefined ones, for aren't they the ones who have done the raping and pillaging and warring to the tune of billions killed over the centuries?  Isn't it the women who most often have the civilizing effects on their families and culture? Don't they take the dull and drab and seek to make something beautiful of it?  The only reason why Shakti must rise is because of cultural bias, and this is very simple. When you look at the culture and ask a few reflecting questions for why something is so, your eyes begin to be opened. And why would people ignore the feeling of the union in their bodies and seek to reach so far to seek to fit a bias to a phenomenon that is perfectly clear before them?  Karma.  Karma blinds us to what is true. We wind up seeing what we want to see, what the karma itself has been telling us. It keeps us from finding the truth, for we are not being true to ourselves.  As long as we are not true to the divine, our eyes will be clouded and the experience of kundalini will be limited.  It will move through you, yes, and great things will come, but there will be limits.  Even the same gurus and sages know that karma limits.  When we are willing to take the step to see things differently, remarkable things can happen. An explosion of realization can occur, and awakening can broaden.  The engine of kundalini is the realization of their union in you. They ARE bliss.  They are nothing less.

What is different is your awareness. You feel kundalini rise.  You feel it ebb and grow. And yet who asks why this is so?  Even the most seasoned seem to feel its a great mystery.  It is no mystery at all. Feeling kundalini is like sitting in a garden and seeing the splendor of it all.  the sun beats down on you, warming your body, the water flows, the grass sparkles with dew and the flowers are arching into the sun.  Its wonderful. You feel a thrill just to be there.  You allow yourself to be inspired.  You are seduced by the moment.  This is kundalini.  You let it into your awareness more.  As you do, you feel it more.  The garden has always been there, its all in how you have chosen to be seduced by it. How you have chosen to be inspired by it.  A month ago, sitting on the same spot, the garden looked broken down.  You bore loathing and anger in you.  The sky looked dim, the water did not sing.  Everything took on a bleached look.  Was it the place that was doing this, or was it just you being disconnected from the thrill and wonder of it all? How you allow yourself to feel WILL have an effect on kundalini. It is IN you. YOU choose how to feel. You can turn on or you can turn away.  You can say yes or you can say no.  What you believe is possible governs your experience.  How you feel governs it to.  You can literally kill of kundalini by feeling so cut off and alone.  It happens to people all the time.

In each moment, the union of the two as one builds incredible energy when you give yourself to it.  When you do, their energy seems to move upwards through the energy centers, sweeping away all the junk from the past as you turn ever closer to the divine reality.  For an energy that moves at light speed, it seems silly to suggest it moves like a snake. It feels like this, yes, but its moving that slow IN your awareness only.  If given the chance, it would shoot right up through you.....and sometimes it does at light speed, for this is in truth the nature of its energy.  It is faster than fast, you see.  Its great truth visits each center in your body as you are ready for it, and as your awareness opens, slowly, it moves slowly into it.  The thing that is slow is your awareness, not the energy.  It burrows down into every cell. It bears its simple truth of unity of all things being connected through them.  They are the entirety of the universe.....all of it.  But to accept this truth, you must turn away from the karma and to the truth.  It is this action that begins to loosen the karma within you from the moment you do this. The more you allow yourself to turn from your notions of what you thought to something seemingly new, your experience can change.  Which would you prefer, a method for being that is aligned divinely, or one that is based on a myth with distortions and inaccuracies? Which do you think will get you to your own inner truth?

As you are better able to bear them into larger portions of your awareness, you become aware of them as present in that place within you in direct proportion to your ability to let them into that place within you, while they help you to realize what you are in the simplest of ways.  It is elegant, it is silent, it is gentle, and it is empowered. Its glance fertilizes worlds and gives birth to great possibilities.  It is here to guide and remind you of your simple divine nature by simply being in union.  As you learn to come into the same union within the arrangement of your awareness and being here, you fall into divine alignment with the universe. You realize yourself as IT. These are the cosmic parents modeling the one lesson, the one commandment that has ever existed.  So for some it is seen as a sexual union, for some that is how it is experienced, the heiros gamos.  But I say to you; they ARE this.  Already.  Always. Learn from them what their mere presence will show you.  Then ask how you can be like them and your life will lead you when you allow yourself to be led. Let what you think you know go by the wayside.  The more I was able to see these "two" as one, the deeper the experience.  Their bliss comes about from their touch, their eternal kiss.  This higher union that is serves as my one religion, my one sacrament, the one example for helping the earthly self to unfold into their great truth.  This truth is reflected dimensionally into other realms of experience and echoes through all things.   My own "higher" soul resides in the same way in perfect and continual union with its feminine.  He gazes into her as she envelopes him in a great soul kiss that is her entire essence taking him into herself, loving him and cherishing him in her utterly perfect way.  Their gazes are measured in centuries, their smiles in decades, their words are worlds tumbling out of them. This is the one thing I know to be true and real at the very core of what I am.  It is the place where all seeking stops and being begins.  It is also where kundalini can begin if you cast aside those old veils and be willing to see it as it has always been.  This is available to all if you can take it.

It has never been two.  It has always been one. it is time to feel this reality in order that each are known for what they are; equals and cherished.  A universe in one.

UPDATE (1/30/2013) :  My how time changes things.  I was having a conversation with someone about kundalini and how it was perceived in her awareness. I said it was so clearly a twin force in me, and she said "That is not how I felt it at all.  It felt like the GODDESS in me!  No doubt, absolutely, goddess energy!"  I did a double-take "Really?"  I asked, incredulously.  I couldn't believe it, but here she was saying this was so certain in her experience that there was not even a way to mistake it.  So I sat there, my old notions getting a subtle reformation.  the moment we experience something and KNOW how ti feels, someone comes along and changes that completely.  I think because I feel so certainly that this is universal energy that I think it must naturally be the same for each of us.  And I can't even say that I can figure out why it would seem like the Goddess for one and something different for another.  Anything I might assume might well bear the blinders that I myself am responsible for.  I could say to myself "Well, she must have some sort of filter or is blind to the masculine side of the force, then" and congratulate myself in finding the truth and put it out of my head.  And yet, people's experience MUST be important, MUST be heeded and used as the measuring stick until something else comes along to change that view.  If we rely on experience, then we must also honor it.  Even if it presents a mystery, or paradox.  

Union II

Union occurs when your wiring is allowed to shift so that the masculine and feminine within you becomes charged with the energy of the cosmos; bliss.  Everyone calls kundalini sexual energy.  It is the baseline for ALL energy.  Out of it arises ALL.  If you can feel how it MOVES you would understand how it can animate material from mere lifelessness!

Connect your inner feminine to your inner masculine and the flow begins to build.  A standing wave builds in potential.  Until the personality and ego resist its tide, it will continue to build.  Ego fears this part, but the more you allow ego to move aisde, the stronger this wave will be.  Connect the red and green wires….the masculine and feminine…the black and white….they are meant to be connected together.  And as this energy begins to build in you, interesting things will happen around you.
Somewhere, somehow, you got rewired.  Now is the time to put things right.  I am here to tell you that the divine is yours to have in this life!  We all bear the fire of transformation.  Fanning its flames in this place, it is growing to become a might fire sweeping across the land.

We are all a bit like Osiris who got obliterated.  Time to get put back together again the right way…..

The Dance

Its simple.  In you are two currents.  One we call masculine and one we call feminine. In their union, a cosmic consciousness emerges. A divine triad.  As you surrender to this within, you come back to an ancient way of knowing what you are.  Inside each particle lies the yin and yang.  Each particle learns to love itself first.  When it does that, it begins to heal.  Love is the way.

So dance.  Just let it dance in you.  Feel the force of surrender, the great vessel that is the universe, she is in the manliest man, and makes every woman remarkable. Inside of each of us is that lightening flash, that penetrating “I” of certainty and direction that is the masculine.  His bliss is realized when he flows through the mysterious corridors that are his beloved.  This beloved resides in you first, beckoning you to heal the rift that you have mirrored all this time, all these lives.  When you heal, when you bring them together, a bliss rises heavenward.  Its simple.  Its love.  Bliss.  You do not become some anonymous androgyne, no.  You become more man than you could ever be without Her.  And you become more woman because you understand his deeper fundamental nature.  This is reflected throughout the universe.  When the two become one, the kingdom is realized.  This all through eastern writings as the awakening of kundalini, the dual energy that merges, or unites at the higher levels of awareness.  This Jesus also taught. This was uncovered in the desert of Nag Hammadi, scrolls that spoke of a doctrine of resurrection that had nothing to do with death of the body but an awakening to something still greater.  And the feminine was swept under the rug. To a large degree so do the eastern cultures not give the feminine her place in the grand cosmology of the self.  If you look carefully you will see the bias.  What’s important about this is that the bias in the teachings is the bias in the culture.  The bias in the culture is the misunderstanding of how things fit, the deeper yet simpler story of Her and Him. But her we are, waking up to the importance of balance in ourselves, in the world.  Each person will mirror this eventually.  It is the divine impulse, the drive to a more unified state.  It is not a drive towards being androgynous.  It is a drive to wholeness.  You have not lived lifetimes only as woman or only as man.  You need both, and their love will take you apart and put you together the right way.  Through her love and nurturing, through his gentle direction, they will work together to reveal the great secret that is your being.  And we will each need different amounts of each in order for the genesis to happen within us. Christians mystics spoke of it, wrote about it, as have aboriginal people the world over. Chinese, Indian, Japanese.  Its not a religion, but a very human facility for becoming more.

They want to swim all through you.  This is the bliss you feel.  The more you can surrender, the more you can let go, the more you can allow them to love each other within your being, the more you will glimpse their greater reality.  They are the force of explosion and implosion.  They are the fire and the cooling waters. They are the entirety of the whole world.  And they are in you.  When you can mirror both, your life will change.  Its just that simple.  Old hurts will drop away like scales….This is as simple as it gets.  If you doubt, just give it a try.  Surrender is a choice.  A profound heart opening is a choice.  I watch each time as it happens and it happens because I allow it.  Like a lover surrendering, she gives herself completely.  This is what opens my heart.  The man does not seem as able.  He is what penetrates INTO the heart, fertilizing it like a womb, be swims like redfish for platelets.  He becomes like her blood, they mystery that is HER.  They seem separate but the separation is healed in this moment as they give birth to the Christ….the TRUE triad.  The parents….the father and mother and child.  Christ was with both, just as you will be.

Do not fear the love.  You ARE this love.  Its so simple even a child could understand it.  Be like the child.  No shame, no guilt.  the past slips away as a new world and age is born within you.  You begin to mirror something different on the planet.  Its a good thing that is happening within you.  Its as it should be.  But the pain need not be.  The hurt is just a ghost still seeking its old haunts.  Move, create, become.  Break free from your old shell, pull back the next layer.  Love yourself enough to become MORE than you thought you could be.  And quietly, you sit, bliss filled and happy, content that NOW you are in a different place. Do not fear love. Do not feel shame or taboo, for when you can love yourself perfectly like this, you can attract based on this perfectness within you and no longer are you mirroring a fracture but a healed self.

So it can be seen as snakes twining up the spine, or cosmic pulses or even the man and woman together.  Out of them come the universe.  For even Creator is both of these, and it is so full of love, so full of desire to create and become that this spills into your own dna both etheric and physical.  Tomorrow is a place of great promise.  The world is as good or bad as you allow it.  As you heal, so does the world.

Love yourself.  Its self love, not selfish love.  There is a difference!

Namasté

Parker

Divine Triad

I grew up with a thorn in my side.  There was something that I KNEW had been hidden, but I didn’t know WHAT.  Over the many years I have had reason to look back on this sense and where it came from.  It always involved religion, most specifically Christianity.  I know enough about myself now to know with certainty that this was something left over from some other time, some other life. It felt like unfinished business. I have had a firm feeling since small that I was here to help do something about our sense of ourselves as spiritual beings….and my inner senses tell me it is about setting the record straight once and for all about the nature of our being.  People I have talked to have often said “So what if there is material missing in the Bible, Parker, its still a very good manual on how to be a better person!”  To this I say how would you feel if someone left out one of the most important parts to that manual, one that could actually keep you from reaching your fullest potential here on the planet?  Over time I have realized, it isn’t like this information can be kept from us for long, but in the case of Christianity, they did a darned good job of it for the last two thousand years.

Everyone loves a mystery…..

When I went through the first part of my awakening, when kundalini began to pour through my body and awareness, I was VERY aware of what it was doing to me.  The intelligent energy that is life force (which is all kundalini really is….but its in abundance…which means that you become more keenly aware of how AWARE this energy is). The most obvious thing that was happening was how aware I was of the three currents of energy that were interacting in my field.  I could feel kundalini….two currents of energy….and when kundalini danced, when it merged and took part in that most ancient of dances within me (the dance of the masculine and feminine) I became aware that when the closer these two elements came together, the more energy was generated from them.  It was orgasmic.  It was bliss. The more I stopped needing to know and simply let them play through me, the stronger it got. It was surrendering to it.  It was allowing myself to be seduced by it.

In the beginning there was some fear….what was this presence doing inside of me?  Was I being taken over by something?  My ego had some trouble with it, but bit by bit I learned to trust that this powerful force, like a force of nature, had only the best intentions.  It was like a lover who was simply asking me to let go, to stop needing to know how it would all turn out, to trust in something I could not see touch or taste.  It was an act of faith.  It was turning away from the fear of the past to the promise of something still more.  I also found that there was so much energy that I could not keep up with it.  I later learned to begin utilizing this energy to fuel my creative work. It was a driving force, undifferentiated, like fuel is simply FUEL and we can go to the grocery store with it or go to the moon, your choice. In the process its very energy began to cleanse and burn through the knots in my creative life, in every aspect that it touched!  This stuff was magic!  So important, so central was this dance, this interaction felt to me, I began to understand our lives here in a whole new way.
When these two aspects of the divine touched, they created a third energy, and this energy was limitless and profound.  It was like unlocking a great vault, revealing a wonderful juicy secret of our being.  I was being asked to no longer be merely masculine.  I was being asked, bidden, seduced even, to come see what the real cosmic consciousness was all about, and this is where what I observed all without the benefit of books or practices or teachers showed me, emerged as a kind of very simple art and science of the soul.

I also later found hidden texts buried in the Christian tradition that had not seen the light of day for almost two thousand years.  In fact, some of these documents only emerged because of a very lucky find by a local shepherd in Nag Hammadi Egypt.  So much wrestling over what Jesus had tried to say, and yet some of these texts, untouched by anyone transcribing or trying to translate them, revealled that what was being discussed was how one Awakened, that the Ressurection was something that had to do with something that happened WHILE you were alive, and there was so much missunderstanding about it that I highly suspect that the idea was used for the purposes of a select few who weren’t interested in spiritual awakening or ressurection, but in some idea passed down by a long-dead prophet that would catapult the Hebrew faith into the stratosphere after having a god-man come back to life.  Clearly, they were talking about the same science and art of the soul, that when the two poles of the psyche are allowed to merge, something explosive results.

Unlike the conceptualizations made by much later followers, this was a passionate merging with the divine that wasn’t “pure” or full of grace.  Its higher regions were achieved through grace, but this was a very hearty and powerful force, like lightening and gravity and volcanoes.  This wasn’t about angels singing in some heavenly choir; this was how we reached the higher ranges of creative expression, the very embodiment of our essence as creative beings!  We were born of a royal lineage, ALL of us, and this lineage was instigated through a passionate act of creation, and this urge to create has echoed down through our dna and our souls and hearts ever since.  We ARE this force, and it is us….and this experience was whispering to me that it was all about the dance of these type archetypal images or forces in me.  I had to learn to give up any funny feelings about it in order to allow these two forms to merge fully within myself.  This was the dance of Shakti and Siva, this was the Thunder beings shooting down to the earth, filling Mother Earth with the lifegiving rain and invigorating lightening and thunder…these forms exist in larger scales in our consciousness because they exist in our higher beings……just as these forces exist throughout the entirety of the multiverse!

I had been on a spiritual search, and always felt the answer was within, but I later learned I really hadn’t gotten very far because my mind and ego were so involved that it had blocked my entry into its deeper mysteries.  Here I was, there were no books, no writings, no articles, but this great and abiding Presence moving through me and what it was showing me was simple, basic, and interconnected.  It was, and is, the very ESSENCE of connection.  Everything was amazingly direct and powerful.  The lights had been turned on.  I leaned forward into its incredible power and flow and it took me into a world that swirled around me and showed me the basis for all form, for all life, for all things.
I was shown how everything was connected, that it was through a particle/wave relationship that extends through every single scale of existence.  This energy poured through me and using my imagination as the gateway, it showed me how the dance of the masculine and feminine gave birth to worlds. The product of their union was an incredible awareness, a “child” of their dance, it was a triadic form of creation.  This, I was shown, was how ALL creation took place.  It was no mistake that we in our human form gave birth to new life through the union of the feminine and masculine.  Further, these two were designed to work seamlessly and effortlessly. Somehow, we had mucked things up a good bit here where the masculine sought to control and the feminine had been sidelined in so many ways!  It was apparent to me that if we could reflect the need for both within our OWN selves, that we would begin  -person by person- to reflect this interconnectedness of these two aspects in ourselves.  Just as the individual needed both, so did the world need both as an expression of itself.
The world, I saw, was like a person, made up of countless forms of life, all living like a cell in a still larger body…all set up for a cooperative venture.  The body, though, just like the planet and each cell within the world of human awareness, was kind of sick.  Bearing the burden of thousands of years of negative karma, it had grown sick.  Our world was a perfect reflection of what was happening on the inside of each of us.  Industry reflected a very masculine idea of how to USE the world, the earth, the female, in getting what it felt it needed in order to create.  Things had ceased being a cooperative venture.  We had become alienated from nature, from the feminine, and we both grew distrustful of the other even as we were inextricably drawn to the other.  So here we had been, reflecting on larger scales what was a perfect mirror in all of us.  Still drawn to each other, still needing the other for its creative pursuits, but creating through a broken karmic fracture….and through that fracture, that hurt and trauma, we could not glimpse the clearer and more beautiful and entirely majestic potential tied up within these two parts of us. Letting go of that fractured part, that broken lens that we have used for so long to see the world, was an important step in seeing and feeling more clearly.

How could we glimpse divine reality if the means of perceiving it were actually serving to distort things?  The mind does its own stuff to perception.  Ego does its own thing to our perceptions.  Our beliefs, our hurts, our prejudices that went unobserved or examined, all play into this as we climb that ladder higher and higher.  So much of what kundalini did was to stir the pot of the psyche, to loosen those old hard encrustations so they could fall away, little hurts that only clouded perception, traumas that served to bend our awareness and FEELING.  Once they dropped away, the hurt resolved into joy, bliss, brilliance.  Then, like an onion, the energy would then work like a drill to get at still deeper depths, deeper layers.  All along, by keeping the two poles of the psyche together instead of apart, the bliss would roll onward and the self would want and crave ever greater levels of surrender, awakening to its beloved within…

I love you.  And I am sorry.  I am sorry that this all took place, that we did what we did to each other.  But here we have a chance to wipe the slate clean and start over.  It means that I have to set aside my need to say how you hurt me, and how important that hurt was over your own.  And in the same way, you too must set aside your hurt through a tremendous act of Grace whereby you can see that the way of going forward without your burden will free up your divine potential so that we create in ridiculously wonderful ways….I mean, once you glimpse it, you just would not believe.  But we can’t go forward by dragging the old dead horses of our past into this future.  Its just wont work.  Leave it be, and let it go. I remind myself to do this all the time.  Some of our hurts are habitual….and we don’t even realize it!  The way to be happy is to BE happy.  Its not a destination or a process, it just is.  Everything else that does not align will eventually fall away.  For as much as I have sometimes wanted to KNOW what was at work, I know that these old things go because they are no longer needed.  If something falls off your apple cart that no longer serves you, to what purpose is stopping to see what it was that fell serve you?  If it fell away, it no longer had a purpose in your being.  Allowing your habituation to that old hurt move you to go pick it back up doesn’t serve the resurrection.
We need to breathe the fresh new air of what this new world represents. Its not pie in the sky, I promise. But as long as we drag the old stuff in, it will clutter and energize those old memes such that they remain active.  Then you will only think about how my kind hurt your kind, all the while not realizing we ARE the same kind!  You, in your feminine will say you were the one hurt and turn away.  I, in my masculine will say how I was hurt, and will turn away. And while turned away from each other, will be drawn or pushed away from the other not through the divine, but through the karmic.  We will be drawn because of the Law of Attraction.  And we will simply put forward what has been what our past has been all about.  These karmas actually act as a cell in you and have their own life in you and will grow all through you until the only way to get them out is to pluck them root and all.  How that is done so utterly escapes people because of how simple it it.  Mind and ego will tell you its hard, but its not.  Just consider that things can be better for all of us, and I promise you, THAT will have more effect than you could ever realize.  By realizing that its all about these two pulses of life, that they are the ESSENCE of both Being and becoming more awake, and healing, you can simply recognize that what is happening to you is natural and perfect.  The masculine moves into the feminine.  The feminine takes from the male and the male gives up some part of himself.  He lets go, surrenders to Her incredible bliss, and here the fracture in the self is made whole. This was what they intended to teach, WERE teaching so long ago.  It has surfaced in various forms throughout the planet. Its not an ism based thing, it s a HUMAN thing!

“Whoah!  The religious types sure are going to have a problem with this one!” I thought.
I came to realize that this Divine Third, as I began referring to it, MUST be the Christ Consciousness (but forget what the books would have you to know how you get there or what its all about).  It was also, by extension, all of the forms used in other traditions to describe it.  Maybe this was Krishna Consciousness.  Perhaps this was what Buddha felt streaming through him, surrounded in a sea of bliss. Because I had spent years not reading up on other traditions (now I understand why this impulse was so strong in me….I had to begin to experience it directly before I began the process of looking to see what the old stuff had to say), I really didn’t know that much about the specifics of these other traditions (and in many ways I still don’t).  I had some general knowledge, but I just never paid that much attention. I had to assume, though, that this was spread throughout all of humankind.  This was a very human thing.

It was clear that in Christianity there was a triad, but this was always expressed as a kind of exclusive boys club.  The Holy Ghost was a total mystery.  It was a GHOST!  I found myself reading the words of a man who had left the seminary after he began to see what he felt was an effort to massage the truth.  He was very much into translating documents, and he knew both Latin and Greek.  He read how scholars would disagree about the meaning of one word, and he also saw how the very basis of Canon in the church was tweeked by how these singular words were translated.  The gist of a passage and a whole teaching could be colored by how that one word was interpreted.  He wondered aloud if the doctrine of repentance wasn’t itself merely Jesus’s insistance that we learn to think differently.  He went into the language stuff and immediately I felt intuitively that he was right.  My kundalini senses were going off the chart.  I followed where it led me and it ended up with some documents that came out of the Egyptian desert of a place near Nag Hammadi.  Most of them were hard to read.  I skimmed.  But then I came to a document called the Gospel of Thomas.

It  turned out that I wrote something a year prior when kundalini was just getting underway in me.  In it, I spoke of the dance of creation, how ALL of life was bound up in this passionate bliss of recreation, and how the simplest of life forms are motivated by this bliss to create anew.  In it I wrote how my smile becomes your smile, how my eye becomes your eye, how our bodies and awareness merge into a singularity of purpose that is the very essence of creation.  At the time it felt like a very original way of creating imagery visually, and in a way that brought some sense to what it was I was feeling, of how desire actually is the creative impulse seeking expression…and this was true both on a sexual level as well as a spiritual one.  When I read Thomas, he quotes Jesus as saying that the left hand becomes the right, and the right hand becomes the left, the man becomes the woman, and the woman becomes the man. Instantly I knew  that this was the process of integrating these aspects in the self in order that awakening could continue and unfold. And it was being described in an identical way.  Perfect.

Then, much later, I found the Gospel of Philip.   Much of the language was hard to get around.  A lot of it didn’t spark anything in me. Kundalini would rest silent until I read a few lines where he said that those who say Mary begot with with the Holy Ghost were in error.  “Why would a woman beget with a woman?”  No, he insisted, these people were in error.  It was a big and very obvious point that I didn’t get right away.  But kundalini was shouting at the roof tops in its wordless way, waiving its arms as if to say there was something there that was very important.  So I kept at it, not completely sure what this as yet unresolved issue was (I must be kind of thick for not getting it).   It took reading the work of Bart Ehrman in his book “Jesus Interrupted” in order for me to get it.  It was so simple.  Why didn’t I get it?  Philip was saying that the Holy Ghost was the feminine aspect of the divine, and a woman does not create with another woman. So simple; this was not how it worked!

The dance of masculine and feminine, in order to create new life, involves the energy of both sides of consciousness.  Here was a highly symbolized language where a teacher of ours was cast in the role of the child, the product of this deeper mystery which was the masculine and feminine.  It felt as though we had created a real life event out of our deeper spirit stuff.  The Logos was being projected upon the screen of human events in order to reflect back to us a deeper truth, or element, in our inner workings.  Or had it simply been manufactured as that, a clever way to inject this information so that it would stick in our teachings so we would not forget?  Whatever the case, the Church, when it was formed 300 years after the death of its chief teacher, would do everything it could to sweep one of its most important aspects to understanding the mysteries under the rug.

So the manual as written expresses the wrongful notion that the way to the Light is by way of  a male-only club where only by the son and father can one know the kingdom.  Well, that was what this thorn in my side was all about.  Once I was able to clarify the picture for my conscious self, the urgency concerning something having been hidden began to soften and fall away. After all this time, I had found it. It is though the cooperative dance of the woman in each of us and the man in each of us that we find the essence of the kingdom; creative energy.  Through the orgasmic spark of their union, we create the Sacred Third.  None of these exist separately, though.  They do not wait upon the other, they are part of each other. I can feel them existing simultaneously together, not the result of one coming into the other, then the other birthing…no, instantly each would give rise to something more instantly and THIS energy would unfold within us in an entirely magical way, serving to show us the way, a simple path of beauty and truth instead of hurt and pain and recrimination. Only in duality do they seem to be separate.  It all  made sense.

In the Apocalypse of Peter, the author called the early church followers “dry canals,” they had become bereft of any understanding of the deeper mystery and spirit that the Christ dwelled within. not in some realm away from us with his father, but something that I will take one step further and say is not simply an objective being but is a fundamental force of consciousness that its more like wind or our heart beating.  Its who we are.  Women have this….but its not sexual….there is a feminine Christ and  masculine one.  Once we have it, we don’t even need to give it a name. We can divorce it from the tradition that sought to keep it secret for so long, hiding it perhaps out of their own damned ignorance.  When we flash that divine masculine and feminine in us, the world takes notice. It is so beautiful people will drop what they are doing to pay attention to it.  We all crave this, a long lost traveler in our souls and hearts finally coming home (actually it was always there…we were like the angry teens that refused to see what was in front of our noses all the time)….

 I knew that without the awareness of the importance of the feminine, the whole process was short circuited!  Look at how every lofty religions sough to treat its women!  Even the Hindu traditions sideline women.  If y9ou doubt me, look at how Shakti is treated in the divine dance of kundalini.  It is she who is the “raw” energy that must travel up the spine to meet her lover who sits in perfected repose in the crown!  What utter bullshit!  Shakti and Siva, if you want to call them that, travel together!  And that gurus and yogis all these centuries turned a blind eye to this truth in their own bodies will tell you the degree to which they were themselves infected with the hurt and pain and need to exert control and continue the errors of the past! I am here to shake out the chaff of dry leaves so that you may know the fruit lying in the branches.  The degree to which we see the female as beneath us in spirit will be the degree to which we treat her the same way in the world.  Shakti was not treated as the equal.  In Christianity, woman is kind of an afterthought in a way, and a rib was taken to make her.  Really?  Not a piece of Adam’s heart?  Not a part of his very soul?  Why not that?  Maybe a little prefrontal lobe?  Please folks, look at your traditions and see what they are reflecting back to you! Even Philip in his hidden gsopel (Nag Hammadi) cautioned how creating an image could effect how the concept in which it is enshrined could effect it.  None of this is anything we can truly give form to, even though we try.  Perhaps it is one reason why there are so many allusions, metaphors and descriptions, all knowingly NOT the thing being described, but describe AROUND it.  Even the concept of the chakras, with their very eastern artistic effects are only themselves an image.  The reality is that they are far more than any image or description could ever communicate.  This is most certainly something we must FEEL for in intellectualizing and mentalizing it, we are left with a corpse.  It might be a delicious one, but in the end it is only that.  Here we are faced with our deeper selves, our Essential Being, the powerful currents of our higher being bubbling up from the depths!  Embrace it!  Listening to it, quietly, let it teach you what it most certainly can!  the degree to which we insert our own biases and ideas is the degree to which we lose sight of the precious wonder of the EXPERIENCE!  I promise you that NONE of this is an intellectual enterprise; the language of the deity is feeling.  The mind is a poor tool for unlocking the beauty that is your soul!  Let it be content with cracking codes, identifying what needs to be identified in the office work of the soul.  Let your heart lead you….not a heart filled with unresolved emotional issues, but a heart free from the entangling alliances that have thus far kept you caught up in karma, hurt, and lack of clarity.  For once the heart is unburdened by the debris of the unresolved, it can soar beyond what you ever thought possible!  Meditation will happen in the moment, peace will abide, and all that you have striven for in intellect will move smoothly through your feeling without any need to analyze or even understand in the usual way.  I promise.

But knowing this, though, is just the first step.  The next step, by being aware, is to simply stop wrestling with it.  Change it within you. This is only done through forgiveness, a profound letting go.  Like a kid who is upset with their friend or sibling, a child cannot stay mad for long.  Do you remember this from your childhood?  Surely you do. You got angry because someone was not nice to you, but an hour later, you were back to playing again, the offense forgotten forgiven, so that you could enjoy the fullness that play had to offer. When we forgive each other, when we forgive our own inner karmas, we then are more clear to feel that divine pulse.

Anyone not able to move the feminine within would most certainly dry out.  In our own awareness we need both sides of our natures to spark creativity.  When we feel the creative spark in us, we are bringing both into a unity, and its no surprise that we feel such excitement when we feel the pulse of the creative in us.  Its pleasurable, enjoyable, and unifying. This creativity IS the dance of both sides of your being…left and right hemispheres, left and right natures (woman and man) and yin and yang…. But take one away and the dance stops.  How on earth was such a dogma as put forth by the early church fathers able to stand for so long?  We just weren’t ready.  We had to work through thousands of years of paternalistic control to reach a place in our development where the possibility of seeing the deeper truth could emerge.  And in perfect timing, those few scraps of truth emerged from the desert of Nag Hammadi in 1945, coming along at a time when we could begin to get the hint that it has offered.  And in the end, it was only a reflection of what we have always known deep within us, for now as awakenings are happening with greater rapidity, people are discovering inside of themselves what the mystery schools kept mysterious.  We ARE the mystery; delicious, wonderful and alive.

So here we are.  Those who have ears to hear will hear.  This isn’t about settling an old score, but writing a whole new score, a whole new song and learning from our mistakes from the past.  We are more than we seem.  We aren’t just women and men, but children of the divine, and while we each align along certain polarities energetically and physically, we are born with both male and female in us.  Even our brains are mirrors of this polarity and one reason why we refer to one side of the body being masculine and feminine.  In the Hindu tradition the kundalini is a dual current seen as two serpents, masculine and feminine, seeking to merge at the highest possible point in our awareness.  All of these are images, and just as Philip cautioned in his gospel, will serve to shape your understanding.  If we can move beyond the outward form and understand its all just pointing us in a given direction within and realize we don’t need to take this stuff so seriously “for the bible told me so” then we are more free to use our own inner light to find what is true for us.

So it comes down to the dance of what is within you…of knowing and feeling into that dance and the two who become one and thus birth a whole new consciousness, the forward edge of our time, the transformer of all you thought was precious into what is essential.  the old order is falling away, and many scramble to try and retain control.  The dance strengthens, builds in scope.  Feeling into it is important.  Feeling the masculine and the feminine and how precious their interaction is….sends waves of bliss through the infinite and DOES touch others!  Nonlocal, without mass, this energy can and does cause instantaneous effects, as have been recently studied and experienced by those with Awakenings alive within.

What I know is that what is “true” though, is constantly changing, so trying to say there is some ultimate truth is a real problem and one reason why I stay away from it.  We each must allow our own selves to unfold in perfect timing to the pulse of the All to discover what is ours to know.  We can each remind ourselves of a few things that might be important along the way to consider, but its all part of a process.  Beyond a realization of the divine triad is the healing that it can bring.  Layer by layer, realizations come as we dig deeper and deeper through the countless lifetimes of karmic entanglement as we heal and find our Essential Selves.  At the core of this, I feel, is no “ism” or ultimate truth but simply love.  Being.  Awareness.  Its so childlike simple. Its not complicated, but we do complicate it with egoic and mentalized notions of the form is MUST take, which really tend to be reflections of our own misunderstandings of how it all works.  Kind of like those dry canals, parroting things they really don’t even understand.  Its so broad, it contains everything.  Its not something you can encapsulate.  The light of the Divine shines on all of us in such a perfect state of compassion that even the worst of us are given its light and promise.

The masculine is like what I call particalized consciousness.  He is that singular sperm that travels on its own to find the ovum.  But when He reaches the feminine, his form is broken down, destroyed in a sense, building material for the feminine to then do her part, which involves genesis.  The masculine essence is melted from its hardened singularity to help  in forming a world of infinite potential (look at how a fetus will reflect most life on the planet from reptile to mammal to primate as it develops in the womb of the mother!)  Without the female, the male is this singular form swimming along with ONE thing on his mind.  His act ultimately must be one of surrender, surrender of his very essence to the feminine, an act of surrendering what he THINKS he knows and instead opens him up to the dance of creation.  He knows he is this spark, and he is entirely driven to BRING this spark.

Deep within the void, the entirely mysterious world of the feminine, she is potential, and endless world of flowing currents moving silently and wordlessly.  Seemingly opposite from the Male, she is not always aware of what she can bring forth.  If she chose what she thought she knew, her rich realm of possibility would itself be shuttered and limited.  She is the birther of worlds, worlds far greater than anything she could or might conceive.  She doesn’t NEED to know.  She needs only to FEEL. She facilitates something greater than she through a nurturing attitude and essence.  As the two merge, in feeling, she watches as the great mystery unfolds. In her nurturing and watery essence, life grows.  She gives birth to something that is greater than the sum of her and her partner’s parts, and yet each have the capacity to feel the flow of life that emerges as a result of their union.

When kundalini showed me how things were  all connected, as I was taken from my place here into the world of the amazingly small and amazingly huge, I saw a dual thread of these two currents moving through EVERYTHING.  Atoms were attracted based on their negative and positive charges.  Only by way of this action could life every begin, or ANY process occur in the physical.  I saw how subatomic particles were pushed and pulled by this yin and yang force expressed in electrical and electromagnetic terms, and then how everything was built upon this, and how at still larger scales within the physical, there were other forces that we didn’t call simple negative and positive charges that served to pull objects closer.  Through everything, though, there was this yin/yang dynamic.  It is so in the physical because it is so within Consciousness.

Consciousness is the birther of all, not the other way around.  The physical then bears the marks of its parent, as this is all a creation for the sake of creation.  Within us we feel he pull of this as we ignite the spark of creativity within us.  Being honest about the process, you will be able to see how the more solid parts of you initiates the process of creation where the wide open and formless part of you then nurtures this spark until it turns into the “a-ha!” moment that is your creative epiphany,   Its interesting how separate Christ has been conceptualized in the doctrine….only through him and his Dad can you ever hope to reach this place of salvation.   Actually, no.  You can feel this higher order energy by simply allowing the masculine and feminine currents in your body to flow!

So forget what you know about yoga, postures, and processes.  Forget what you THINK you know.  When you look at it closely, this tradition is steeped in images that are not part of your experience most likely.  The cultural knowledge involved with the gods and goddesses used to describe a given state or chakra point are useful for those who know, but its such a highly materialized method that it could well leave you losing out on the nuance of the experience.

FEEL instead how your own inner currents will spark the incredible tidal wave that is kundalini in you, for beyond all the centuries of efforts to put a practice to the feeling, it really only comes down to feeling, and a lovely meal can spark bliss as much as a yoga posture can.  I never took part in meditation or yoga.  No techniques….for me, this is a daily ongoing life that I lead, a prayer, a meditation that flows through my deepest self, connecting one to all.  For as grandiose as that all sounds, it is true, and most who are awakened have experienced the same, speak about it the same way.  Its not to say the techniques CANT help…..they just aren’t the thing, you know?  The THING is how they can help you to find that feeling, whatever on earth THAT is….we are a little unsure what this feeling is, right?  Whatever works, I say, but in the end, it all comes down to being willing to dance with unity instead of separation…and that means aligning to the universe, which is itself connected….and you become a beloved particle in an infinity of particles, all aware and all forming waves of experience.

We are addicted to wanting to know what the truth is through other sources at the expense of our own knowing.  I have spent much of my life not getting into them.  I didn’t know why I had this impulse until kundalini came along.  For myself, I had to see this anew, and if I saw others saying the exact same things, well that’s a nice confirmation, but really we don’t need teachers to tell us what we already know deep down.  We need ourselves so badly to come back into the moment in a way that we were all designed to do.   It is the result of the merging of these two currents that the doors to something larger awaits.  But this alone is not the “secret” or the “answer” or any of that.  It is merely the very beginning of getting to the next step.

This one bit of truth only serves in your getting to the next step, where it will merge into a still larger and gathering sense of knowing that is continuous, not a destination but a simple way of BEING that can save your from your own worst issues and stumbling blocks (from all sorts of negative karmas of feeling victimized, or bad self esteem, not being loved enough by others when all along it was about your simply learning to love yourself so you can shine the light of the All within you and see just HOW much YOU are loved by this infinite consciousness!).  It is NOT a doctrine, it is not some unwavering truth.  It is merely a step upon which you can stand, and once you get to that place, new things will open up to you and if you were humble enough to be shown what they represent, you can begin to utilize kundalini as a kind of partner in your process of undoing thousands of years and countless lifetimes of separation.  By not following what you THINK you know, you can be free to conceive anew.

The problem for most people is they can’t get out of their own way.  Postures, beliefs, positions and agendas will get in the way and blind you to your deeper potential and inner Presence. I am here to whisper in your ear to be aware….always be aware….ask yourself what you need most to know and then watch the events in your life unfold, for they will tell you the story.  Your own issues will be projected into your day to day life.  Being humble enough not to make assumptions about what you want to see, or taking positions “Yes, but he is just keeping me from feeling good about myself!”  (what???)  Let your life show you, then consider how you might heal it.  Once you heal it, it goes away instantly.  Poof.  I promise.  That is just how powerful your infinite self is, but you simply need to know how to partner with it.

Its a bit like being a child.  Not a teenager.  The teenager wants to argue with the parent as they go and do some truly missguided things based on half knowledge.  Smaller children will listen, for they do not have this rebelliousness.  If you THINK you know, its likely you don’t…because its not about knowing.  The Mystery School in Egypt told Pythagoras that they weren’t interested in knowledge when he came asking for admittance.  They were interested in experience, they said.  They sent him away saying you can fast, breathe, and focus on certain energy centers such as the third eye and maybe that will do it.  He returned a changed man.  He stopped needing to know and got into his body and through intent, a flash of the divine was awakened in him.  The greatest mind of his day was reduced to saying that yes, knowledge was not the key.  Being is key.  Let your two currents meet!

Your Infinite Self is not about these positions of beliefs.  Within it are contained ALL belief, all positions and postures in a state of perfect grace and forgiveness. You are here to marry both small and large, infinite and finite in a way that brings you fulfillment, and since you are individual, only you can decide what that is....and this is the marvel that is creation.  What will you become or create today?  Its yours!  Yes, we all want to BELIEVE in something.  It gives us a solid place to stand, but when you touch the infinite aspect of your being you realize just how ridiculous all of this can be to pretend that your system is somehow the end all.  It is like a grain of sand in an endless dessert which dreams of when an ocean rolled over it eons ago.  This side to your being simply IS.  It is like the feminine in a way….and our particalized awareness is a bit like the masculine….always trying to figure things out, understanding the structure and mechanincs of all of it while the feminine stills his hand and says “watch the greatest mystery unfold darling….” as she recreates herself and inspires the masculine to feel into his more feminine side and thus inherit the infinite.

Its time that we stop the war.  This war has raged between us and within us.  Time for it to stop.  Time to put down our weapons long enough to see what the interest of peace can be in creating a world where we could have a virtual rennaissance if we but let it.  If we stop our warring between nations, we will begin to see how we can create for GOOD instead of feeding that old worn out machinery that has served to keep us seperate.  But this seperation will continue as long as WE are ourselves mirroring that seperation.  But things are changing.  This is not about a male and female duality.  It is about learning how the two can become ONE.  Its about allowing the creative to serve the highest, and its about not playing tit for tat.  I think we are ready, we just have to STOP the warring in ourselves and let the masculine and feminine within our boundless beings to help show us the way.

These are your parents, your divine parents, and they can show you how to be. Just as it is folly for men to think they have all the answers, it is equal folly for women to think they have them as well. We each have different answers, and they will lock in together under the canopy of mutual cooperation the way they were MADE to once we remove the distortive lenses of karma. Man to woman, woman to man, self within self, unifying its most basic parts.  The current of the feminine and masculine within, once allowed to move, will begin to sweep away all your issues.  It will cleanse you just as you have read kundalini will do….dissolving knots and cords in you.  Yes.  It also helps if you become an active and willing participant and listen to this entirely mysterious self that is your higher being.  I cannot tell you where to go or what to do, but it can.  And will. I so much want the world to come alive in Awakening that I do not seek any dogma or effort in mythologizing any of this. Some of the things that have been discussed in our history in various traditions TRIED to get the word out, but each, even the HIndu, were hampered by the cultural biases they have had against women. There is no time table, no 2012 where all of this MUST be done.  This is like a sandbox, and we forget who put it together.  We think if we destroy the sandbox we will somehow destroy all we know.  We exist in the infinite, curled up within the nice illusion of time, learning that we are like children learning how to create.  We need most to forgive each other, forgive ourselves, and put the past behind us so we can be clear enough to see what this new world offers us.

Namasté.