Sunday, August 26, 2012

Conscious Energy

You are this coin with two sides.  We are so used to wanting to identify what they are that we actually lose sight of some nuances that exist that help to inform us as to what is happening or presenting itself to us in spiritual practice.

We begin very simply.  Energy is conscious.  Energy moves through you ever single moment.  When you can allow your mind to become quiet enough, the volume of this energy increases. By learning to feel, you also learn to tune into this energy that is at once you AND the universe.  When the being came to me that early early morning to do his work on me, he said that the love I felt rushing through me was me and it was the universe.  He did not seek to make a distinction between the two.  I was both.  We all are.  And this is the nuance that we sometimes miss.  In our normal individual awareness we want to put things into some neat and tidy box.  Well, the truth is, its not so tidy. Its overflowing and just does not handle staying in any one place.  Its a sheer miracle, this energy.  It can be everywhere and everywhen. Just trying to explain it causes all efforts to collapse.  But the important thing to remember is that this is more an experience.  Its not an idea that lends itself to being described very well, at least not directly.  It was meant to be experienced directly.  Until then, it is quite naturally a mystery, but it is a mystery that is within every one's grasp because it IS you.

The benefit of tuning in is that you can feel this energy.  Its movement will be a perfect barometer or indicator for you and what remains for you to heal.  It is the universe in you, and this universe simply IS a vibration of love.  Anything different from it will be quickly felt or seen or known as somehow dissonant.  In this way, you can begin to feel your Light Body in a way you have not felt before.  Somehow, the lights have been turned on, some ancient machinery is starting up and you begin to feel very differently.  This energy begins to drive awareness.  It IS aware.  It is the essence of it.  So feel.  Drop deep into yourself and it will reveal to you all that you need to know.  It will drive awareness of everything that needs tending to. You will begin to feel those long lost issues inside like people or objects whereas before, they were a sunken ship lying deep on the ocean floor. Awakening drives it to the surface of your awareness so it can no longer be ignored.  In this way, it shows you what need to be recognized and as you do this, as your gaze falls upon it, it falls away like so many leaves from a tree in autumn.  This is a divestment of karma, of old hurt and old issues that have probably turned in you since forever. 

From a mechanical standpoint, your Light Body carries within it all of the imprints, no matter how small, of everything you have responded to in this life. It contains also the imprint of what has remained before this lifetime.  Think of it as the baggage that gets left at birth's gateway.  When you divest yourself of this, you gain a freedom you simply have not experienced before in your entire reincarnational cycle.  The brain is a recorder, too, but more importantly, the energetic signature of all karmas are recorded in the Light Body.  Some will say chakras, but to put it more precisely, these imprints run throughout your entire body.  A small hurt from childhood, even a fall where you hurt your shoulder and suffered somehow is hidden there until it is released.  If you think of the Light Body as a continuous spectrum of frequencies that move from one end of the energetic expression of existence to another, you will begin to appreciate how interrelated your Light Body is.  Deeper issues most often lodge in the chakras since these vortices are concentrations of energy.  And energy is awareness.  When your individual awareness (the Particle) shifts into this broader awareness that I call Waveform Awareness (think Particle/Wave duality and you have its relationship inside of you).  Some call this Presence.  It is the infinite in you. 

When you can bring this Waveform or Presence into your awareness you will begin to feel those things in you that do not harmonize with the symphony of your cosmic self.  Since this self is more than just your individuality, it has a lot to offer you in terms of healing. The miracle is that you do not need to do anything except to be an available participant and open yourself to love as much as you can.  Bit by bit, this Wave ripples through you and irons out all the wrinkles.  The more you can settle into this awareness, the less you need to question, control, or effect.  It acts upon you.  It builds a life within you.  It works through every nook and cranny. When I first felt this Presence of kundalini, I asked it what it was doing.  I was shown the image of a warehouse.  It was full of things.  It was going through each and every one of these things.....which were all of the past hurts, troubles, slights, or other reactions that simply were stored away because they could not be properly dealt with.  they were shoved down into the subconscious, the great dumping ground for the difficult things in our lives.  As you awaken, so too does your awareness of these hidden things.  Your own Light Body will begin to feel very differently.  Suddenly you will feel pressure building in one part of your Light Body, and as your awareness is drawn to it, the energy of the infinite is allowed to do its work in a more concentrated way.  Try it.  Try not seeking to solve a problem in you, a pressure or tension.  Just ask what you need to do to let it go and then let go of any need to find the answer.  If you wait patiently, the answer will come to you.  You see, its in not trying that you open up to the possibility that this other part of you has the ability to work miracles, ones that you might not have been able to achieve while in your old mode of awareness.  Like a cosmic parent, you enter into a new relationship with this new Presence, this awakened Light Body.  It not here to punish you, but to point out what needs work.  In fact, the more you resist it, the more painful and difficult the process becomes.  The process is made to be simple, not complicated.  The path to the infinite is not rocket science. It is woven out of love and unbending compassion.  I say this because it will not make deals with you.  If you resist while not realizing you are actually doing this, you will experience some form of discomfort.  Ask yourself what you are doing to bring this on. Surrender.  Let go. You do not need to know the answers in order to be more whole.  You merely have to Be it. Simple.

So keep going back into that Awareness.  Tell it you are wanting to be more like it.  In telling it, you are also sending a message to yourself. The old programming is slowly being erased, and this is a very good thing.  The more you do this, the farther you get from the pain and discomfort that some call painbody, which is merely the ego's identification with a past hurt.  To move beyond it, you merely place your awareness in the present.  Buddha had something to say about this, for he knew that the point of power is NOW.  Ram Dass and later Eckhart Tolle would echo this simple truth.  And it is true.  The only thing you can affect is what is right in front of you. Anything else will simply draw your energy away from what is happening in the point of power that is now. By staying in the present you also begin to eliminate the need to worry. Worry about the past or future, neither of which can be changed distantly.  You can only affect them in the present.  The Past is healed by bringing those lost parts of yourself that may have been splintered in your psyche into a unity.  The future, conversely, is a big question mark.  Paradoxically you cannot know it unless you do what is needed in the present to affect it there. 

All of this feels like some force driving ancient splinters up out from the core. They get driven to the surface so they can be released. As you do this, your own Light Body becomes more light, more full of joy.  You are less of the pain and more of the bliss.  This is transformational as you bring the light of love into yourself.  Something begins telling you that before you love others, you must learn to know the indwelling love that is unlike any other love.  To know the universe, you must come to know the universe within you, for it touches upon all other universes. It is here that all fractures are healed and the self is brought to a place of unity.  Over and over, this process continues as the self refines and learns to model itself off that of its divine parent, the higher self. Every hurt or pain has served to divide you from this source of life.  The more you do this "work" the more whole you feel, the more present and obvious the infinite will become within.  Sometimes it seems like you are at a loss....but this is only a seeming.  You forget that you are infinite.  Not knowing how you will reach into this awareness, be willing to be led by it. As you do this, awareness builds with each divestment, each healing.  You might have a slip of a memory flit through you as this happens, or you might have no memory at all, just a feeling as though you are somehow reclaiming some ancient sense of self. Timeless, boundless. 

So quieting the mind is the first step.  The stillness that is possible will allow you to feel more deeply into yourself. As you build a greater capacity for this stillness, the greater the energy of awakening will build in you.  Letting go of old material also helps. It clears your awareness.  So its important to learn how to forgive others if you can.  And if you cannot, ask to be shown how.  You are infinite, and as you seek, so shall you find. You may think that moving a mountain is outside the question, and this is true, but your higher self does know how to move them. You just have to be open to that happening.  Just step back and form the wish in your mind. By silencing the chatter of the mind and stilling it will begin to allow something to build in you, an energetic capacity for something more will resolve.  This capacity is also awareness just as it is energy.  Just feeling its presence even for a few moments is very significant because it leads to increasing amounts of time where you can quiet the mind to provide space for this something more. 

In another post I will be going into some meditation methods that might work well for you.  I never used meditation in any traditional way, but the stillness was something that I recognize as a precursor to  awakening.  Once the fire is lit in you, then your life becomes as if it is on fire for this great love. 

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