Sunday, August 26, 2012

The Awakening

Its a subtle turning within, a feeling as though there is something more.  This something more is a great mystery, but you pursue it, looking in the out of way places because something in you tells you that something is amiss, or that you have not been told the whole story.  Eventually, through a series of events, you begin questioning what you think you know.  Is this all there is?  Is this as good as it gets?  Why am I here?  These are all pretty common questions and points to how we all have a feeling deeper down that there is indeed something more.  And there is.

Somehow, we overcome the indoctrination that was begun from the day we were born and begin casting off the cloak of belief or dogma. It could just be as simple as a feeling of discontent with how the world is.  It is here that the self is close to some deeper truth, a radiant feeling that brings the heart in the center of being as you step out from the crowd and find that things are indeed very very different. Inner knowledge floods in, first a trickle, then growing stronger.  Why do you know what you know?  What are these new notions of how the universe works?  The soul of knowing, what the Greeks called Gnosis, fills your awareness.  The old knowledge of the world is supplanted by an inner knowledge that is irrefutable. The old world view is seen more and more as something illusory, manufactured, a kind of shot in the dark, not built on how the universe really works. Out of this springs something that is like a delicious mystery, a small seed whose entire unfolding and becoming is contained in that first glimpse, that first trickle, that first awakening to a new life.  This brings you to a death and a rebirth.  Here, you know what it means to be "twice born."

This is a path that is not easy.  All of the old habits remain, but the soul seeks to slough them off. It is seeking to make you more and more naked.  The more you are able to trample your shame underfoot, the more you can accept this nakedness without fear or shame or guilt. The old ways are gone and this even older way is emerging new and fresh like a seed from the Pleistocene that has managed to survive in desert sands until the rain from your own heaven waters you and awakens you.  Your own higher self, the heavens of you, seeks to return to itself, to bring your earthly self back to itself.  It is gathering up its goods, its celestial children and heading for home.
Home is wherever you are, it whispers, so while it feels like a grand exit, there really is nowhere to go but within. the only place to go is in knowing.  With love so present, there is no harm that could befall you.  All realities unfold as you realize, there is no heaven to go to, no sacred place save for what we have made within ourselves through our awareness.  Every place has the potential for importance, necessity, all depending on what the need of the moment is.  You have freewill. You are divine and profane, shadow and light.  You now dance the dance of balance and love all and serve all.

So the journeywork that is your heart and your soul shall take you on marvelous travels.  What shall you do, and whom shall you see?  Its all up to you.  What fulfills you?  Do you even know? Maybe fulfillment is like enlightenment; it comes in stages and is informed and reformed each and every moment.  The only truth is love and from that springs worlds.  its just that potent a force.....and alas, it seems, so lacking here, and yet this is a never ending school where new recruits come in as other leave.  It seems a constant rolling enrollment of souls all seeking out this dot of blue in the depths of space and time to discover and become and seek fulfilment.  Some suggest that ultimately we must meet the mystery on our own, and this is true.  But equally true is that we also form alliances as ALL consciousness does.  Imagine what it took to organize your body intro trillions and trillions of cells, all working together for the greater good.  People come together and form groups, and groups form nations.  Nations form a world, and a world will eventually form a cosmic community.  This too is part of what we are.  Its not one or the other, it is both.  Back and forth we go, seeking that balance between self knowing and inner bliss with the fulfillment of the relationships that we forge in these lives of ours. Some of us learn from our greatest teachers, the hardest ones who often love us deeply in the flight world of soul.  But in that place, the pure pulse of love stands above this great fray of life.....the struggles and hurts, the healing and ascensions that come with such sweetness and fondness.  We learn to let go of what did not serve us to glimpse what has been waiting for us all along. And in each life we seek to do this, and every life lived is itself a jot or phrase in the soul's great speech of time. We are a day in a year, a drop amongst many, a bead strung on a cosmic necklace......

The force of awakening is this and more.  It leads us all to the inevitable realization of what we are.  We spiral upwards and outwards in a never ending growing and becoming and realizing.  This is the journey of self realization and it is a great work, a great masterpiece that the soul fashions for itself to know itself. It knows more by having you sent as an emissary here, and you know more by having been sent.  Its not one or the other, but both are enriched and refreshed with the breath of new wisdom, new life, and love renewed within.  We are all part of a great family of being.  Its much bigger that one might realize at first.  I know that when I first felt it, it said I belonged to a family of consciousness.  I wondered what that meant.  It was a dazzlingly complex story written in the moment like haiku.  And how could it have been otherwise?  I mean, how could I have even understood except by first glimpsing the seed of it. Lord knows there would be time aplenty for me to watch as its grew from a sprout to something more than I could have ever imagined.

What makes all of this worthwhile is that we are these singular beings knowing ourselves through relationship.  Its this one pursuit that we come to know and plumb the depths.  Even when alone, we are in relationship.  It is simply the way things are.  Even as the Creator released all its dreamwork upon a hitherto incompletely conceived creation, it sought to create more of itself perhaps to save it from its loneliness.  Ever since it has quietly and lovingly scanned all life all at once, ever-present in each of its children and grandchildren and great great great grandchildren.  Out of it came all that is.  And if I seem to presume why a creator might create, it is only because I read its cosmic dna writ in my bones and heart and the life force that courses through me.  At least for now, that is how the story seems to go, and I think its a rather wonderful story because of how gloriously imperfect it is.  For aren't we like that?  Don't we get closer to the truth when we cast aside this rigid notion of perfection and instead just jump into that river half naked, half ready, half human and half celestial?  Sometimes, you just have to jump in because that is what makes all the difference in the world.

.....and the water feels fine!

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