Sunday, December 23, 2012

Shedding Karma

I think we tend to feel like karma is one of those things that you have to repay, like an absolute debt.  My experience varies from my previous conception of what I thought karma is.  I have since found the words of Taishen Deshimuru, a Zen master, who, in the book The Ring Of The Way, explains the same idea that karma can be released.  If karma was a choice, it sure makes sense that releasing it is also a choice.  Elegant. 

It starts with forgiveness.  This forgiveness allows you to stop holding in your consciousness and subconsciousness the very things that keep a karma active.  This experience of forgiveness does not involve forgiving others, although in my case I thought perhaps I needed to forgive them.  But just as the divine emerges not from without but within, the place to begin is with yourself.  Forgiving to its deepest level in you is the way to releasing karma.  This is no ordinary form of forgiving.  It is total.  It does not hold anything back.  It is the realization in the moment that all of this came about because of how you chose to see and feel about the world.  This governed your actions, your thoughts and beliefs. This is the way.  It is not some short cut, some lazy person's guide to the cosmic.  When you reach into forgiveness in the way I have had to, you touch the sublime, the divine.  In that moment you feel how it is you and you are it.  This is why I say that karma is itself the result of our turning away from the divine within us.  In so doing, we forget our true nature and we became separate from what is real and fall into illusory things that are not the ultimate reality.  They seem real because they have been created and their reality can be observed, but in digging deeper, you begin to see how they do not align with the divine.  They just don't.  

In awakening one sheds this karma, these soul scars as the Hindus call them, in what is in layered fashion.  Some believe that kundalini must go from root to crown in order to be complete, and while the initial "shot" of the energy does this, once the energy is in awareness, it most certainly follows its own agenda in a sense, following a path of least resistance, flowing to the next place that must have the old knots dissolved.  Over and over this happens until the energy body or light body is swept clear of all of this material. You have to be an active participant in this "process" and be willing to be led by it.  This is the inner guru at work.  

In my experience thus far I have had a number of clearing in the heart center.  In each case, the energy went on to other areas to help release whatever was next.  I have had it go into the third eye, into the throat, then the heart, then into a place in the upper lung region, down into my kidneys and root, before returning to the heart.  The first clearing I had in my heart left me feeling as though I was in a huge room.  This was a very vivid sense that I had.  I always felt as if my heart space was about the size heart.  In this experience, this space opened up into a space that felt like a gymnasium.  It felt suddenly very empty somehow, incredibly roomy.  It was a new feeling. I experienced an angelic being come into the room and reach down and pull material out through my heart center, which was like hooking me up to a direct current to cosmic love.  I felt a similar yet very different sense of being clear and open in my body.  I then experienced a series of powerful heart openings in the wake of this experience that introduced me to the concept of kriyas.  After these series of episodes I found that I could find information just by thinking about it and it would tend to come through other people....books, articles, a suggestion to check out something or someone who had read a book. Some pathway to manifesting had somehow improved for me through this experience.  Then, about a year later, I became aware of a very difficult pain in my heart that I had not felt before.  I worked with this for about a year before I had this pain removed by releasing the karma. Along with this came scenes from a past life having to do with the Grand Inquisitor.  I am unsure of the country I was in, but in releasing this pain, I was returned to a state that I can only describe as radiant. 

Each of these experiences were themselves singular and each a turning point each time. Each were like dying to what I was in order to enter into a new life, revealed in he same way as a petal might open layer by layer. 

As a result of my experience I trust my own experience and don't allow the works of others to tell me what I should think.  This is an individual process and we are all built differently.  It could be said that we each accumulated this material in our own way and we have to take it all off in our own way too.  The way that a very deep scar gained in this life is removed is different from how a deep scar that is lifetimes old is removed.  This is I think a dynamic process and the removal of one karma effects what falls away next.  It is like a poetry of the soul and less a science.  

Also I think that if you follow what others say you might wind up being caught in conceptual or beliefs that are limiting.  If someone tells you that the process is supposed to go from root to corwn and no other, you might find yourself doubting your experience if it goes contrary to this.  It might stir fear or worry or concern that something just isn't right.  Well, yes, something isn't quite right, but it may not be in the way that you think or assume it to be.  

Listen to yourself. Even if it turns out you were off the mark because this is not a race.  This is about YOU.  The more you can learn to trust you, the better enabled you will be in trusting your experience.  When people start speaking in absolutes, this is when the critical thinking has to come to the fore.  Some things do appear as being quite absolute, like love being the universe.  But when it gets into exact ways things must be done, let your intuition guide you and follow what you feel is right.  For now, that is the best thing I think for learning the poetry of your own soul. 

No comments: