Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Simple Things

Twin currents rose in my awareness; masculine and feminine on par with one another and in bliss.  the center path between them, where they met, was their union, their bliss and where a third energy arose.  I called this "the child."  This was before I had a name for this thing coming so vivid and alive in me.  Only later would someone suggest I read the texts left by the earliest of Christians called the Gnostics.  It was there that I began to get a glimmer of what was happening.  The sacred third, the bliss, was what some called the Christ.  Some the Kingdom.  Others called it Cosmic Consciousness.

I felt the force of this intelligent energy was loosening something in me.  The most current and less sticky things fell away first.  The process was made clear to me in my awareness.  All I needed to do was watch and observe.  As I struggled to understand, the energy said in its presence that it was all so simple; observe, bring the light of conscious earthly awareness into the moment.  I need not do more than that.  It was not asking anything more of me.

What others called this thing seemed out of place to me.  I questioned consensus reality.  As I did that, events began to change quickly.  My experience changed, events changed.  Everything sped up.  The energy got so strong I thought I would go mad; this was ego holding on for dear life.  This was just what kundalini does. It sets you aright.  But it was not easy.  It was hard.  The collapse was a long painstaking process of learning how to surrender.  Surrender?  I learned I had been staving off surrender because of fear over being hurt, of more trauma.  Wasn't I hurt the most when I was the most open and vulnerable?  Kundalini sought to undo all of that.  I felt my awareness literally leaking out of me as it merged with the mist, the sound of water, the night sky, the wind and damp air.  This was all too much!  But over and over kundalini bid me back into the game.  It asked the same thing over and over; observe.  As long as ego was hyper-extended I came to believe I had "work" to do.  Silly!  It was not work.  It was merely realizing what I was.  Remembering.  And to do that, all kundalini asked of me was to observe.  When I felt pain, it demanded that I merely observe and shine my conscious awareness upon the hurt.  That was all I needed to do.  It was as if it was showing me all the things that had hung me up.  I had no power to change things, to fix things.  This was all too much;  kundalini was here as a saving grace, a reminder of what I am, what I have always been but chose to forget or turn away from.  This was the core of my karma.  As I put my attention on the trouble spots that kundalini highlighted, the material fell away.  The more I felt like I had to work things a certain way, I struggled until I got back to square one.  Over and over. Maybe I am a slow learner.  Maybe the neurosis that is in our humanity is just that stubborn or blind or forgetful.  Maybe we need a reminder.  Over and over and over again.

The realization, which has come in pieces, then fits and starts and then an ever-increasing flow of knowing is that by engaging ego, identifying with our little earthbound self too much, we think we are limited, finite.  This is not just a thought or idea but a deep sense that ego carries. It hides what we are deeper down inside of us. So by not identifying with ego as much, the inner self is given more room to shine, we have more room to feel it and know it, to see it in ourselves. What it is and what it can do is to make the process much easier if we let it.  By letting go of "our" doing the "work" we relinquish control, we let go and allow pure spirit the room to work its magic.  I have said before that each of us has a genie within.  Buddha said each human on earth had a boddhi within them. And it is true.  The curious thing is that with this higher self, the way to facilitating its effectiveness is by letting go.  You let go and let your own inner god or goddess do the work. It comes down to an act of trust.  The more you trust, the easier it becomes. It feels incredibly easy, miraculous.  Maybe too easy. Even unbelievable.  But its only unbelievable because of just how much you have gotten caught up in ego and self limit.  You are lightyears ahead of what you think you are capable of and when you let go in the way I have suggested, you open up to the reality of this higher self and what it can do for you. What it does in the end is nothing.  Nothing needs be done, you need only realize what you already are.  This is the healing.  Let it be simple for you, why complicate it?  It already is perfect.  It is already where you seek to be through the illusion of the linearity of time.  You think quite naturally that life is a process because you are born, you mature, you grow old and pass from this life.  A nice tidy movement through a time line.  And yet, this is only one part of the story.  The soul abides in a state of perfection, or comparative perfection to your earthly awareness and focus.  All you need to do is feel this part of you so fully that you realize what it is you are.  When you do that, what the earthly self has considered important falls away. All that does not serve the truth of the soul and its vibrational frequency and essential nature no longer fits. It is as though you went in, headstrong, into the house of your soul and papered over the walls of your soul with all kinds of things you thought would fit this house of yours only to walk in one day to find the paper peeling away in large sheets.  Eventually all of that wall paper will fall away and what will remain will be the solid pure walls of the soul shining through.  Taking a moment the bare walls will change and you will see them for what they are, which in your egoic focus, you could not.  In your karma, you were blind to. You were too busy projecting onto the world your karma.  The soul is saying that the time for karma is past.  And all karma, negative karma, is a vibration out of attunement with the divine self.  It is out of attunemtn with what it is which is love.  Anything less than that perfect vibration is naturally karma.  Karma is not realizing what we are and falling away from its perfect vibration.  It was alway perfect, but for some reason we just couldn't believe it.  So we fell into karma and have been working through it ever since. 

The answer, I saw, is a simple one.  However you get to this realization of what you are essentially is what will help you to reach this sought after state of bliss or nirvana.  This is not even a thing you achieve, it is what you already are but have blocked from your awareness.  Kundalini only rises as a result of your remaining resistance to it.  You FEEL it move because there is something that does not already feel its presence.  The greater the resistance, the more powerful the effects.  Some will even experience an explosive blast through their bodies as a result. And this is only the resistance to the force.  And yet, something in you has decided enough is enough. The shutter of your awareness must now open wider.  Then, looking directly into the light of the sun, it blasts through and it is a shock.  It is only because of how you are, what your own resistance to it is.  When that is removed in you, what remains is soulfulness, bliss, joy. If there is something that remains, don't worry; it will all go soon enough.  Trust in the power of your higher self, for it can and does work miracles for you.  You simply have to get out of your own way.  Surrender is the best path for this.  It doesn't mean that you are not a person of action, for certainly you must be.  But as you act, so do you also receive. You breathe in and you breathe out. You give, you receive.  You visualize, you manifest.  The masculine force in awareness sends out intention, the feminine nurtures it unto its delivery as a creation--- be it a thought, idea, child, or any other form of creation.  The route is the same.  We do both, but in doing both, we are more balanced. It is true we do not do well in letting go, surrendering.  It is the feminine current that is making its way into our mass awareness.  The hard light of the masculine has held sway over all of our awareness for so long that even the most feminine among us have lost sight of what it is to be the essence of this yielding element within our being that we call the divine feminine.  Let this side of you teach you and show you how to be, how to surrender to the God in you.  Let go and let God.  It is located on the left side of the body as the ancient energy traditions of Chinese Medicine and the Hindus have observed.  The right brain is Her after she crosses over in the region of the head.  The left brain is a reflection of Him and both She and He must work together to make great things happen.  Yet, here, we have been lopsided in our thinking and feeling.  We have esteemed the left brain more than the right.  We have kept the feminine pushed down far too long.  It has been this way in our cultures, our religions and within ourselves.  And it is time to add her nature to our awareness so that we may each save ourselves and our planet.  We are learning that great strength does not mean great force.  There is more to it than that, and we are each softening into our feminine sides.  The more we can surrender to that, the easier all of this will become.  Doing this will not make you less complete, less manly or womanly.  It will simply make you more complete then you were before.  When you can honor both within you you can honor both without you.

So try this tonight; feel into yourself. Don't think.  Just feel.  What hurts?  Settle on that.  Put your awareness there like a searchlight.  But do not make it anything more than that.  Keep to so so simple.  Try it.  Don't seek some solution.  Just be aware of it.  Hold it there and once or twice a day go back to it as you relax and rest in the moment.  Then let it be that.  Bid kundalini to rise.  See what happens.  Wait.  Give it a day or two or three.  Or a week. As you do this without any expectation, but mere remembrance, do you feel a change?  Let ego go.  Consider you do not have all the answers.  Be like a child.  Allow yourself to be led. What you think you know may well be only a small part of what you already know deeper down, what your soul knows.  Now breathe.  breathe in love, breathe out thankfulness.  Let this movement wash you.  Feel the waves come in and go out, slowly scrubbing you clean.  And if it does not do it all in those movements, consider every effort has an effect.  Be patient.  Let ego go.  Be humble.  Devoted.  To yourself, to the universe.  And breathe.  Breathe in this bliss, breathe in this life.  Breathe in the love that has always been yours and will always be.  Forget solutions, forget outcomes.  let ego slip to the side so you can be full in this union.

No problem ever was solved by wrestling with it.  Stop wrestling with it.  Forgive it.  Let it go.  Ask yourself what it is like beneath this issue as if it is a troubling lily pad that seeks to block out all the light.  Ask what it feels beneath all of the trouble and drama.  What does that look like?  Look it straight in the eyes and face it. And then let this new place in you let it slip into the still dark calm night.  Here, you have more room for what you have always been and what you ache to become.  Even if it is drop by drop, layer by layer.  Whatever is causing you pain, it isn't worth what lies on the other side and which keeps you from this better place.  Let it go so you can BE.

Let the power of your awareness and your gaze into yourself be the lightening strike that will help your soul in its journey into forever.  Take this moment as your own.....Thus far whatever it is that is hurting you or troubling you has been complicated because you have made it so. It is in truth simple.  let it be simple for once.  Let yourself be simple.  Be like a child.  Sleep deep and rise a new butterfly in a sea of caterpillars!

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