Trust

The trust
the care
when all seems lost
the bright emerges amidst the dark
this ancient cosmic play
of truth
and illusion
which leads us each along the way.

What is our story?
Why are we here?
We ask these questions
in our darker ways
when we know
deep down
a struggle between
what is
and what we think we are
seeking.
The triad unfolds
worldless, simple,
and shows the way
but rushing it
it has its own pace
which is oddly
like lightening
and sometimes living in the lives of snails
and stones
sleeping for centuries
beneath the gloom
to be birthed into new life.
All of it a big rush
it seems
and sudden stillness reigns
before the next lightening flash.

Trusting
that all of this
which preceded
and prophesiedit
is less a comprehending
more a knowing
seeds already sown....
much wonder before the sprouting.

Trust
that it comes of its own accord
when bidden
when sought
when all ways are pressed into it
a soft spoken sigh
leading to imperishabillity.

So come to me my garden soul
my forgotten One
Did I fear you?
How do I seek you
how do you seek me?
How does this union come
after so long running in old circles?
How many millstones have been rendered to dust by this?

Seeking it in a thousand faces
for a thousand lives
outwardly
not aware that the inner drives what is outward
now returning to the dust of those ancient days
to till new soil to prepare for the union
of the perfect love that exists first within
we had it backward
didn't we?

I am asking now
asking you to show yourself
so you might show me
what I have for so long blindly done without
it seems until I acknowledge you
make you part of my wholeness
that I wont know wholeness.....

I sometimes wonder
is this all made up....
and do we, in creating it
set the rules
by which it all happens
just because the universe is so eager
by any rule
even a cheat
to find its way back
to the golden moment
where we each return to zero.

Until then
this great yearning
is knowing itself through its blindness
until it sees you clad
in that garden of ours
and perhaps I will know
then
that it was never any other way
save for this story I tried to write
in this world
but seemed to fail at each step along the way.
But I think that these last steps are the most important
as they were saved for last.

In each moment I am seeking to invite you in
to see you there
to know your presence
your guidance
your wisdom
your knowing.
I am laid out
like a corpse
all errors removed
too far now to go back
to pretend this did not happen.
No Kansas is in my future
and thank god for that.
But I will trust
in lying myself open
that everything will resolve back
to what is
golden. 

The Divine Universe

The divine rests beneath the one you know.  Once your awareness aligns with its truth, its presence can be known in every nook and cranny of your being.  It will also clear out every nook and cranny since every ounce of you, not one shred of you, will be saved or spared from its total and complete love. This is not halfway.  Its complete.  Unconditional.  In that moment, you will know your lineage.  And its waiting for you to become a co-creator with it.

The Return of the Goddess

Many years ago I saw someone who is called White Buffalo Calf Woman.  Amongst the Lakota, she is a goddess figure.  She brought a humanizing effect to the Lakota.  She brought some of the most sacred rites.  She brought the pipe, which is a sacrament that helps them to contemplate the entirety of the universe in one symbolic form.  With the sudden increase in the births of white buffalo calves, there was talk that something important was up, that the time that was foretold was unfolding.  I saw a friend who was in her form.  It was a vision.  It was very clear and plain.  Not being native American this time around, I had to dig a little to understand it more.  I wondered about this and its meaning.  Many years later, I heard a similar story where others had felt they had seen another person showing up as White Buffalo Calf Woman.  How could this be?  I was using my left brained way of thinking.  Ego was in on the game.  I was only seeing the outer effects, not into the essence of what I was being shown.  It took a while for this experience to ripen and grow in me as my own awareness grew and my understanding broadened. 

The essence of the feminine is returning in its myriad forms to the planet.  She is showing herself in our archetypes because She exists in those “higher” goddess forms but she is also just as present in each of us too.  While the return of the goddess is about women waking up to the potential as the divine feminine here on the planet, it is also much more.  There is, though, a broader and perhaps more important point to be realized.  As a species, we are activating our brains to include the left and right brained thinking that can help bring about more holistic fuller forms of being and thinking.  We are evolving our very awareness at all levels to make it possible to become more inclusive as part of an evolutionary impulse which is now growing stronger than the tide of control to keep us locked in the old ways of seeing and being.  We are all healing and helping to see the emergence of more sensitive, more feminine aspects within each of us, whether we be male or female in our individual bodies.  Whether you know it or even like it, we all have these aspects.  We are a mirror of the universe, and within us rests these two poles of being in different proportions.  We all benefit from the emergence of Her presence in our lives.

Contrary to what some may want to assume, the presence of the feminine within does not serve to make of men an androgynous being in just the same way that a woman who has awakened to both her feminine and masculine energies is not less of a woman or somehow androgynous.  The most interesting result is that when these two polarities are healed within it fuels an inner transformation that isn't merely possible with one polarity or the other.  Every single thing that exists, down to the smallest subatomic particle, has this seeming polarity.  It is the very engine that drives all of creation and consciousness.  When its secrets are known, something remarkable happens.  It is a very simple engine of divine consciousness.  The degree to which we can surrender to this deeper reality is the degree to which we can each realize how this little engine of the cosmos is at its heart creative and can bring rise all manner of things based on your own focus and desires for fulfillment.  You are made more by this, and as the centuries of resistance melts away in this time, the simple and powerful reality of this creative principle can be made known as we anchor this awareness in ourselves and as we allow a simple divine plan to unfold.....a plan that does not seek control but a plan that holds out its hand for any soul to grasp and to become.  It has been this way since the very beginning. 

Cultures that are more balanced in this way are less divisive, more inclusive, and also much more creative and humanistic.  When we can learn to keep the pendulum from swinging too far from one end of the spectrum to the other, we can begin to achieve a balanced being that can utilize these aspects in a more conscious and empowered way.  When we can mirror a larger series of aspects in ourselves, we also naturally become more aware of the larger divine cosmic order.  This is not something that is outside of us.  It has only seemed so because our own egos have made it so.  We have had societies that have put one group above another.  We have worshiped at the feet of very divisive divinities.  Our priests have taught that we were lesser, not worthy of the divine, that we were somehow broken…..but in truth….we are not.  These divinities were first within us.  Those who would say its egoistic and arrogant to suggest that the gods and goddesses are in each of us are missing the point.  Suggesting they were outside of us served to keep us looking outside of ourselves, all along missing the truth.  They were never outside.  The world outside is a creation of what has always lain within us, even if you are not aware that it is you that is involved in creating your life and world.  Our very empowerment is in realizing that through no other authority do you touch the divine….even if you have millions of them all shouting that you need some intermediary.  You don’t.

The Goddess is returning all on her own.  In some cultures, this is being reflected in changes in laws, in cultural values and ways of seeing and being which has helped to provide Her with the honor she deserves.  Slowly, perhaps too slowly, has this taken place, and there is still much more to do.....but slowly the ice of control is melting as the quantum field, the unified field is strengthened by those awakening to this one simple truth.  She is resolving in peoples lives in wonderful and creative ways.  She is showing up as Isis, Ishtar, and White Buffalo Calf Woman.  What’s more, this has all been the subject of prophecies spoken through generations of oral tradition, and we are in the place of return that was spoken of so long ago.  She is not returning in one form only, but in every drop of what She is.  What She is is what everyone needs.  Men need badly to know Her through the women they love and adore.  Women need badly to know her in the men they love and admire, for Her presence in them helps to make them more than they were before.  By learning to touch more directly into Her essence, we are all greatly enlarged and enhanced.  There is a sense now that things can be different.  Better.  Elites no longer decide this for us, or for you.  YOU decide what SHE means, and only you.  For me, she was a Goddess from a Native perspective because that is what forms the bedrock of my broader spiritual connections.  For others, she has rested in the heart of Mary, mother of Jesus. Often driven underground, she is now emerging at a time when she is most needed. She is emerging in a limitless number of ways. She is shining in the heart of the world, and she is so broad in scope she can emerge in any number of manifestations, for this is how different manifestations come into being.

There is just no limit to how she can be reflected….and she exists in every woman in their own way.  They are merely mirroring what is in us, and what is in each of us is our own individual story.  Each story has its own inner gods and goddesses.  Each is valid as you will see.  As Jesus suggested, we are all born of royal lineage, a divine being that makes each of us no less than any other of us here.  Everything else is an effort to divide and make separate.

In The Garden

Many cultures on this green earth have this notion that humans have some glitch, some failing that makes them less than divine, a reason for being relegated to the backwater of some failed world. It expresses itself in a number of ways, but it comes up, in all truth, as a self loathing  behavior.  Gurus will express how this place is a backwater spiritually, and priests and priestesses will espouse how this is a less than enlightened world or place.  Others will speak of how we tripped ourselves up by eating some fruit we were told not to do.  Then we felt shame as a result of our nakedness.  We are a fallen species, somehow coming up short in the eyes of our deities.  This sense of falling short crops up from time to time in various traditions, and we need stories to help explain the feeling we have, and we project outward our own sense of failing.  I don't think we ever fell short.  We simply felt a disconnect between our individuality and our undivedness, unable to tap the larger sea of awareness that is inside of us. So we made a God or Goddess responsible for creating a standard which in truth we ourselves could not reach.  The glitch, all along, has been in perception, in awareness.  The sea of feeling has been there all along, we just have missed it, and in missing it, have believed it was somehow taken from us, or that we did something that made it go away. 

While the stories help to explain the feeling, its a projection of what we think is wrong, and while the thinking is correct in the sense that something has been wrong, but what has been wrong is not some great failing in our character, but our inability to tap our larger sense of belonging.  All that ever happened was we felt separate through our focus on individuality, and through an over emphasis on ego, which is a natural result of over identifying with ego.  We lost that connection to the divine that we lived in all the time by not being able to balance our two modes of awareness and expression.  Its not something that we lose like we lose a ring or a note or a shoe.  We simply forgot where it existed.  Having forgotten, we began to think it lay outside of ourselves.  This has been the fatal flaw, if there ever was one, and while it sounds serious, its simple to get back to because its inside us.  Its always been with us.  We just forgot where it was.  We forgot how to feel. We have spun all kinds of stories that make sense to us for why we might have lost it, but the answer has always resided within waiting for us to realize where the glitch was.  Its so simple a thing that we have spent lifetimes trying to find it.  Its like the absent minded person looking all over for their keys when their keys are right in front of them.  We think someone took them, that some vast conspiracy intervened.  We merely forgot. 

Its interesting that when you feel bad, guilt, or shame, the force behind kundalini will go down.  It can even stop completely.  The shame or guilt causes a disruption in the divine flow for those who do have kundalini.  Giving in and letting the bad feelings go restores the garden of bliss within.  You are again at one-ness with the divine.  It is a tantric experience, this connection, and because we have issues in feeling this good, we have sought to make such a feeling taboo.  Different cultures go about it differently, but the result is always the same it seems.  Its no surprise that we have connected our brokeness with our sexuality also because its our sexuality that is a gateway to bliss and wonder and joy, one of the very gateways to this sea of feeling, our touchstone to the infinite.  Having blocked our passage in this way, we have erected hurdles that we have felt were insurmountable.  Its true that we do need the divine to help us out of this, but the divine has never been something standing outside of us.  When a species has lost its way to its most central form of unity, its not unusual for all kinds of problems to arise as a result of the repression that comes with not knowing how to deal with it.

The truth as I have seen and felt it  is that finding the garden within is merely a breathe of fire away.  Breaking the seal, the fire spreads all through you as you feel the bliss pour through your body, is one important way to reach back to a place of deep feeling, of bliss and joy.  When we realized we were separate, we immediately felt put out of the garden where it didn't matter that we were naked.  It was, however,  a pretty crappy feeling, so it had to have some pretty dramatic events surrounding it in order to justify all the bad feelings involved. We have convinced ourselves since that God didn't want us, that we were put out for not doing as instructed.  All that we did was we did not continue to keep our earthly awareness on God.  Its that simple.  And God, Goddess, All That Is, doesn't hold any grudges.  Whatever God we conceived of back in the day has more to do with our own preconceptions of what a God is than what God is. If you want a clue into the love of the deity, consider the love a parent has for a child.  No matter what that child does, the love of that parent remains.  Its unconditional.  And we, as imperfect as we are, are able to taste what the love of a god might be.  But even that gets messed up and distorted with ideas of how we can never truly know the love of a god because we are such simple and broken beings.  The deeper truth is that we are born of this deity and have its truth swimming all through us.  Our individuality, though, can serve to block awareness of this higher range of perception.  We have to want to surrender to what this love is, the simplest and most fundamental force in the universe.  It is this force which I was shown years ago that holds the entire universe together.  It is literally coded into every particle in the universe.  This is why Adam and Eve are so important.  They are the archetypes of our own inner masculine and feminine.  When you can bring these two fields of energy into a unity within, you will feel the pulse of the universe.  Every atom, every electron, every life form, every cell, is ordered around the yin and yang. All along every form, every particle, every person simply wants deep down to be drawn into entanglement, into unity.  Our individuality, though, seems to keep them apart.  Separation is the death of our bliss.

The entire universe is held together, glued as it were, with this force of attraction.  The entanglement of photons is the same entanglement of souls, and when our physicists examine what entangled photons do, we can see the exact same result in people who have themselves become entangled within the world of the quantum field of the infinite mind or divine awareness.  We all are brought into relationship through this force.  It also brings mere matter into a complex relationship with itself that can bring forth life.  None of this is chance.  Its part of an integrating principle of being, of all existence.  When enough entanglement can happen, given the right set of circumstances, life blooms out of what some would say is a simple merging of all the right compounds entirely by chance, except its not by chance, but by design. Life is itself another expression of creativity.  It is the result of simpler forms uniting to create something still larger, grander.

When we can heal the separation within, we are more available to this larger field of awareness and being.  This is not a destination, but a process of becoming that has no end.  If you seek an end-game, you wont find it.  Life is a  journey, and if there were some end point, the universe would stagger under the eventual force of stagnation, which would be an eventual result of such an end-game.  There are still larger and larger dimensions, all without end, infinite in scope, of becoming, a still larger scope of feeling through realization.  As we realize our connectedness, we reach into still larger realms, still larger dimensions of connection to ourselves as infinite beings. As we spread out into that vast web of awareness, we begin to realize it is a thread with no end as we seek to further integrate still larger aggregations of being and awareness, realizing in still larger scopes of reality.  We are simply growing into what we already have been, always were, but always with a growing awareness which brings growing perception and fulfillment.  There is truth, though, that through our individuality and through some basic limits to our physiological mirroring of the infinite, that we bump up against a sense of being individual, but we mistake that individuality as separate. 

I think the truth to all of this is that we feel shame and sadness over our imperfection.  This "gentle" loathing leads to some rather punishing behavior.  It leads to hellish experiences as a result of feeling so cut off from everything.  The thing is, though,  if you knew the love of the divine, you would realize it was all a silly misunderstanding.  We are unconditionally loved, cherished, by that which is our broader being, the Source of all Life, whatever form that might take.  I think understanding your true relationship with the divine is important in understanding just how close the divine is to you.  In this moment, in each breath.  It is always You who have sought to set yourself apart from the Source, for the love of Source is so grand and perfect, it would never seek to put you outside the realm of its love and affections.

I think in all truth, our perception of time messes us up here.  It give us a feeling of seperataness in events.  This grows into still larger things, or feelings of the distinctness of everything.  Its an easy step into separation and sadness from there.  And shame and all the other things that go along with this.  If you have had a transcendent experience, you very likely felt like time was a bit irrelevant in a sense.  INSIDE of time, it seems, is a still larger truth about time, which is that it expands outward in an infinite way, what many who have had a near death experience describe as an expanding present, or an infinite present, or simply a feeling of the infinite.  Outside of our physical perceptions, I think that there IS no time, or time becomes less and less important as a way to experience reality and thus falls away.  Many who have had kundalini awakenings have themselves expressed how all of this awakens them to a deeper perception of time.  Yes, there are all these linear events happening here, one right after the other, but there is a deeper sense that there is something more. 

I have written on numerous occasions about the great benefit of realizing that you can see across all time or in that expanding present.  If there is no time, your soul exists in perfection, already complete in a sense, yet always in a state of becoming in a realizing of what was already there, a process that is itself, I content, the very act of becoming aware to your own divine being and higher self.  Becoming more aware in this way will open you to a greater awareness of yourself as already complete, perfect, and alive in a sea of love too wonderful to perhaps contemplate.  I say this because we have so much grief and shame and guilt over ourselves. The thing though is that what is causing that grief and bad behavior is the fact that we are so cut off from everything.  We forget who and what we are.  The path back to the garden is by becoming naked again, and not feeling shame.  Your sexuality is an expression of a very profound creative impulse.  Gurus and sages and other aspirants from every possible tradition on earth have been able to harness this energy which is itself just the divine bliss flowing through you for incredible work.  In the end, its all the same stuff.  The fact that we would feel such shame over our so-called "Animal" impulses just shows the disconnect we have with what the divine has brought us, has made for us. Certainly, we do need to be good and thoughtful and compassionate.  But when you ARE full of compassion, you aren't going to use sexuality as a weapon, or to hurt someone.  You wont.  You will BE this divine love so powerfully that its much more likely that people wont understand you and will think you strange (like all awakened leaders).  But it wont be a force for hurting others.

Our fall from grace was simply a feeling like we were not good enough.  I think it was ego very likely that was involved in it.  We slowly fell away from the divine pulse and then blamed ourselves for not being good enough....which is in a way true, but not a good enough reason to stay outside of the love of the divine, which isn't experienced as some objective deity but is the energy snaking through you, setting you on fire, making you wake up and come alive in the midst of an awakening.

The Hopi Indians have this story about our distant past.  They explain that we used to have this opening in the top of our heads that connected us to the whole of the universe. We were able to sense and feel through this opening in a way that we no longer do as well.  They explain in this story that we slowly had that connection lost while being physical.  Its interesting that there wasn't an effort to inject a sense of failing in this story, but instead seems much more matter of fact. Still, we need explanations.  The sense remains in so many cultures that we somehow got cut off.  My sense through my experience is that all of matter has been encoded with the divine within it.  As individuals we have free will, and this can lead to a sense of being separate.  Perhaps its possible to simply feel into our swirling world of atoms and cells, all busy utilizing the field of attraction, as a way of learning to tap this lost world of our belonging.  As it is in each particle, it is within us.  We yearn to be part of something more, of something larger.  We know we are more, but we also have this individuality that seems to compete with it.  Perhaps we are just trying to get the mix right, to find a way to harmonize the yin and yang, the small self with the big self, to bring the infinite into the moment again so we might feel more connected. Until then, we look outside ourselves until something comes along that makes us look inside in a way we may have never done so before.  

Awakenings are, I think, an opportunity to step back into the garden, to heal this rift in us, this ancient shame we have had whose ONLY purpose has been to keep us sealed off from the divine.  Whatever the problem is, whatever the bad things done, none of it matters in the face of this perfect love.  And if you can FEEL this perfect love, it will transform you.  You will suddenly come in from the cold like some prodigal child who realizes s/he never really needed to be out there to begin with, and all this time could have been partaking in the great bread of life.

We aren't dirty and fallen.  We just think we are.  We have spun stories that have kept us marinating in this sense of fallen-ness  It has brought a veil of forgetting and illusion upon us, a legacy that we have chanted and sung in our churches and temples for thousands of years.  We are not walking very close to the garden wall and we just have to realize that the wall was never put there to keep us out.  You are amazing, and beautiful.  Each soul is a perfect diamond.  It has such stunning facets, is so excruciatingly beautiful you just would not believe.  Looking into the heart of the world, you will feel a nursery planet full of children who years to be with their parents, to feel the love they have been missing all this time, to feel the pat on their heads that says that all is okay, that YOU are okay....and good enough.  It does not good to hide in shame of how powerful this energy is.  Its what the universe is, its what the Deity is, so why deny it?  Why not revel in it?  It bring nothing but bliss and wonder.  Its a bit much to take, I will admit, but I think this is just getting used to 24/7 bliss.  This is the healing of that old wound in us.  C'mon.  Come be a part of the family.  You deserve it.  Every particle, every atom, every cell and planet and person and galaxy is worth it.  Its all beloved.  We are all slices from that great bread of life, infinitely divided, yet indivisible too.  Its both.  And its wonderful. We aren't one or the other.  We are BOTH individual and infinite. Perhaps its time to learn to balance the two, to bring them into synthesis.  And perhaps this synthesis is the healing of the self....which bring the yin and yang together into a unity and when that happens, kundalini emerges.  But that too is one step in a still larger spiraling stairway.  It goes on and on, and as you step upwards, you slowly but surely shed the old notions and rise or ascend into something truly marvelous.

Come on out of the cold rain.  Its just not worth it.  You are already perfect, and the company is really fine.  Its time that you know your divine parentage which is not separate from you at all.  Never was, save through your belief and shroud of shame and sorrow.  The secret is in feeling.  And its waiting for you, as it waits for all of us.

The Lineage

Your being here is no mistake.  Your being composed as you are of salt water is no mistake.  Your being arranged as you are is no mistake. The masculine is composed in the physical as a mirror of the spirit, just as is the feminine.  As we create new life physically, we create new life spiritually.

You were born of a being that was both mother and father to you.  Out of this infinite self you were conceived outside of time to live in time and space.  Only through the interplay of the creative force that is moved only by the interplay of the masculine and feminine, did you come into being. Only in this way are worlds formed, and ideas nurtured.  If you are reflective and can observe calmly as you are creative you will feel the masculine and feminine move within you.  those who are highly creative do this without giving it a single thought, but if they were to do so, they would feel how the currents and tides of the feminine await the flow of the masculine through her.  And through her, his invigorating force is given voice, purpose.  Without her, his is a frustrated universe that can teeter into madness. He needs Her just as She needs Him in order to know what her great capacity for nurturing the infinite can be.  The wo are not separate, but opposite ends of the same continuum.  The attributes we assign to each we do so out of a deeper knowing.  No man is complete without his inner feminine and no woman is complete without the masculine as well.

To know your parentage, your great spiritual lineage is to embrace the paradox of being.  its a bit like looking into a hall of mirrors.  In you lies the seed of the creator.  In you lies a channel for the creator to move and flow, like a landscape that has rivers flowing through it, bringing it life and purpose in creation.  And while the mirror of the creator lives in you, you were born or a lineage, and the consciousness that gave you being was itself given the breath of individuality by a still greater being dreaming itself.  Your parents are you, and you are your parents.  You can trace your awareness back to them and through them, you can know the vastness of being of which you are a part.  The cell that lives in your left elbow is every bit as much the body as the body is itself. All parts move together, and at no point can you say there is an individual because there is a dizzying array of individuals living in you right now, and you live within a still larger body that is the cosmos.  Your family is the human family, and the seeming final border of your skin does not keep you from exploding out into the world, into this great cosmos.

You were born royal and were born into this world like an orphan.  But the orphans of this world will discover their lineage in direct proportion to how deeply they sink into their essence.  You do not need any intermediary, for your soul is boundless and knows the realm from which it was given life.  The great trouble we have is in concieving that humans are unable to touch upon their lineage, and thus are kept in a kind of slavery to ideals that never served them. For as holy as some may be, their words if distorted, do not serve us.  In this small piece of writing, this sense is expressed, even by a greatly revered man:

Go to site HERE

The Divine Lineage

Sri Kaleshwar performing arthi to his master, Shirdi Baba

Shirdi Baba, Jesus, Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, Ramana Maharshi and Sri Kaleshwar are part of the Divine Lineage. Sri Kaleshwar says we all need the help of divine souls to find God. “How to suck cosmic energy? That’s called the God energy. We can easily suck cosmic energy. It has to be through some holy persons. We can’t handle that cosmic energy directly. Through some holy person, maybe Jesus, Shirdi Baba, any Ma, any Baba, any Swami, any holy man, any holy soul. It’s through them. First we have to be able to receive their energy—to taste. When you are ready to taste their energy, then that energy makes you to connect to the cosmic. Without tasting the love from the master, from the holy man, from any traditional strong soul man…if you can’t get love from him, if you can’t receive the energy from him, if your heart is closed to such type of people, there is no chance––you can’t suck the cosmic energy. You can’t connect to the universe. You can’t connect to the Creation of nature. We have to understand––we’re just a small peanut in the biggest, huge God Creation. In the incredible Creation, we are just a small, small nut.”

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We are in our physical small, but we are the petal on a still larger lotus, and in being part of that lotus, can find the path towards a still greater awareness of being.  And in that awareness, we know we are far more than what we seemed we were.  To do this is nothing extraordinary.  It does not require you to go to the mountain.  You merely need to feel deeply into yourself.  It only requires reflection, openness, a willingness to think anew.  If we do not, we will live as orphans and never know the great lineage from which we have sprung.  It is time for this lineage to emerge like brilliant lines of gold ringing the planet.  It is not a grandiose thing, but a silent thing that has been with us always, waiting for when we were ready to dream it.  But to dream is not to imagine only, but to create, to enter into those worlds like this world, to find the deeper truth in what it is to be gifted in this way by Creator.  Our lineage will ring throughout the world as each person wakes up to the truth of their being beyond the pain that they feel defines them.  How about the joy that defines you?  How about the divinity that defines you?  How about the great mystery that awaits you in this vast world juicy and ripe?

I Don't Care....?

I do not care for what the experts have to say.  They are worn and weathered by ego and hurt.  They spin systems and methods.  Advaita, nonduality.....oh my goodness.  They are touching upon the nerve, but never seem to plumb the world behind the nerve.  Always touching it, happy that they are (me too...at least it is that) but it saddens me when someone writes a book about how to find a guru in an awakening, how to spot someone who has not quite "climbed the mountain."  Even those who have been soul connected, those who have swum in the deeper waters of the Collective Consciousness, know that just by feeling another who we mirror, we can catalyze change and healing, and there is nothing done but simply connecting through the Wave of the All, something that isn't talked about very much, but is I think what a guru will do (think darshan--often called "blessing" a word I learned about recently which I understand to be riding the waveform through connection and other aspects of energetic transfer) You see, when you awaken, and even before, you find things based on what you mirror.  It becomes so crystal clear, so obvious....its an elephant in the room....and its inescapable.  If you have some victim issue, your guru will mirror that and you will come into some kind of tussle or tangle with that...and either you will learn from it or you will deepen the waters of your victimhood.  The world will have proven that its out to get you while you slumber, not realizing that its YOU who are creating this.  You have ultimate responsibility.  Perhaps, in a way, this is the silly illusion they talk about.  Its silly because the illusion is real.  I mean, think about it; what is this energy made up of?  Its CREATIVE.  Even the sexual energy felt in an awakening, its just the bliss of creation flowing through us.  And we are here to create our lives....to create and learn from those creations.  Karma has been our ultimate creation in the past.  We are learning, though, the responsibility inherent in creating.  This is being done via free will.   We are free to create heavens or nightmares.  We can choose peace, or strife. Our lives are a reflection of this.  There is no destiny in this, its all subject to an infinity of choices.  Create.....watch that creation unfold. The creation is the product of the sum total of your vibration in that moment......your beliefs, your fears, your hopes....all of it.  And through this, we learn.....sadly, though, the level of discourse on this transformative topic has not risen to a level where I feel good about what's going on.  We can do more, we can do better, and a little discussion and sharing of perspective will help add to this stone soup until what we have is something greater than the sum total of its parts.

I prefer simple because the energy is simple.  It can get incredibly complex, but by understanding that you  rest astride a larger consciousness, you can sit back and watch this higher self do incredible work in your life. Like a savant, people do not see you for what you really are.....because they do not realize their own capacities.  Unawakened, they fear for people getting the "wrong" guru or teacher, or they want to point to what is and is not enlightenment, and having ridden the cosmic wave I can say that even the word enlightenment is a troubling thing to even say.  How do you mark the arrival or destination for something that is never ending.....Its like saying you graduated from college....its arbitrary in all truth because now all you have is a little piece of truth and an infinity of learning yet to do.  Its another phase, which is both an ending and a beginning.  You graduate from school and realize you have only just begun to understand.

I prefer the simple things.  This is the kingdom. It was a mustard seed.  Most do not realize what he was talking about, but it all sounded nice, even if it was a mystery to most  He knew what this was about, and it was largely swept under the rug along with the divine feminine.  It is in the book.  But the best way is to be simple, like children.  You know you are in trouble when people start saying what this is and is not....kinda silly when awakening is LIFE.  Who is to say what it is and is not?  Something DOES happen, though, and its profound and powerful; it changes you forever. Fire burns and courses in your veins 24/7 and you ride atop a wave of collective consciousness and this is not easy when you are not refined.  It hurts, its painful, dreadfully so sometimes, until the ego learns to step back some so the feeling self can grab the reins.  Forget intellect and mind.  They cannot nor will EVER grasp this.  All they can do is identify, classify, and make a complicated mess of something that is more like poetry than anything else. So when Ken Wilbur says "a schmuck before awakening, a schmuck after awakening" I cringe.  First, schmuck is what gets tossed after a circumcision, a Yiddish term that has entered our language in a pretty crass sort of way.  And the problem here is that what Wilbur has missed is the extraordinary promise an awakening can have for each and every one of us, the potential for transformation. Not just this, but people are transformed from what they were ( a Wilber "schmuck") to something greater and beautiful; what they were deep down, what they have always been perhaps.  I am not criticizing Wilbur as much as I am trying to bring a new kind of discourse into this; we know very little based on what is being said and written in our current time it seems, and when these folks open their mouths it just brings the bright light of focus.....and I wonder.....what is gained by me putting another light on this of my own?

It makes me want to pull away from it all, to simply let it all go....why do I need to write a book?  Why do I need to help anyone?  Why?  I know why, or I knew why, and this why feels like a boat that once carried a full crew full of concerned souls, and now is just a floating vessel emptied of everything as I abandoned it for slipping into the ocean alone and naked.  It could not be simpler.  I pray to this ocean to take me....and my trust resolves into a deeper and deeper appreciation for its great and wonderous mystery and beauty.

We are this ocean.  This ocean is us.  Everything is connected.  Not just simple platitudes, but deep certain reality.  Everything sings with this marvelous voice, even the pained ones who cry out in their own self imposed dark cells of pity and victimization.  Each so hungry for love, so desirious for it, yet so punishing and hard.  And I ask why I even need to say anything about what IS and is not enlightenment.  Lets forget that and remember what it is to love.  For this, dear reader, is the one thing we need so badly that its enough that you run from the moment in order to discover its presence inside of you, a dark pulsation so utterly remarkable....so simple....

Maybe it was never meant to be talked about, but experienced.  Maybe we have everything we need.  Maybe we CAN bring awareness to others through the power of the Waveform Awareness, which is Collective Consciousness.  This is how we connect to that endless ocean.  We, a particle like a photon, discovers how it is entangled with the All and can feel the All inside of its seemingly finite body...knowing itself to be infinite and able to feel everyone around it....and feel the pulse of all life rising up within it....and so through others sometimes we learn something that eluded us, and so we can learn directly...and maybe if we are to learn from the other perhaps it is through this direct cognition that is the Waveform Awareness, the infinite, the universe inside of us. Perhaps this is how we need to learn, silently and with a prayerful purpose.  The man who spoke of the kingdom also said in a gospel that was hidden and then buried in NAg Hammadi Egypt that he bore a fire and was himself fanning its flames until the whole world would catch its fire.  This fire is the fire of awakening, of kundalini.  Sadly, we have lost a lot of what was taught from the man, because what the scrolls have given us and what some insightful scholars have been able to tease out from his Aramaic (not Greek as the documents accepted were written in) that there was probably a good deal of mistranslation. Maybe they weren't ready then and maybe they aren't ready now?   But maybe we do not need the teaching since people are waking up without benefit of ANY meditation or diet or nadi cleansing or any of that.  Perhaps only because the wave of the collective is growing, building in potential, like the flame Jesus was talking about.....

Its a fire, its an ocean, its a mystery.

So with the innocence of children, the freshness of their hearts and minds, let us forgive and let go what has come before.  Let us in this moment just let it all go within us.  None of it matters.  There is an infinity waiting.  Its more than we could ever dare dream.  Here, we can play and watch as we create and realize what the ramifications are of those creations.....

Goodnight, and heal well, Wilbur.

The Way of Things

I read through sites that explain how to attain enlightenment with a posture, a breathing technique, with a way of holding the hands, a diet to follow.  These are all tangible things that we can wrap our heads around, something that feels stable and useful.  Its like a recipe.  If you follow it, you are likely to get a good result with some practice.  The makings of the cosmic muffin might be mysterious, but at least you have a recipe.

But what if I were to tell you that kundalini can be awakened with just a word, with just a breath of intent, with destiny flowing in fullness....that all of this has within it a miracle waiting to be known....and until this great secret is revealed, we cleave to what we think works best, which are words and chants and prayers.  All good enough, and sometimes will work.  But they don't work just by saying them.  Within is the power of intention.  Within is a new way of feeling.  Breaking through to that place is what its all about.  Moving enough material within to spark the shift, to begin the movement of the fire within you....

There is an idea that certain words like Sat Naum will help you to raise kundalini energy.  Or certain mantras.  The idea here is that they have a certain vibration in sound that helps with raising a certain energy within.  The other part is that countless adherents over the centuries have chanted this word and when you chant it, you are accessing a wellspring of that collective awareness and intent that has been pushed into service with that one act, the mantra or chant.  All of this makes some sense, and can be useful in a certain way.  But I am going to suggest something far more powerful, more direct, and more true about all of this.  It is what Awakening has brought to awareness and knowing, it is what this experience of the cosmic that visits one, changes and informs. The presence of awakening IS knowing, for the Awakening is an energy, a universal life force energy that is conscious.  When it inhabits you, it brings gnosis. It is simple, like looking out across a field of grass and knowing something in that instant that had escaped you for years, but whose answer seems now to be so simple, so obvious now.

Intent is key. The way to Awakening is not through a practice but an intent.  If a practice helps you to focus intent, good, otherwise, it is a corpse and you may not realize that you are doing things that do not serve awakening.  I will say the unpopular thing and explain that chants and diets will not work.  Releasing yourself of those entangling issues enough for your body to register cosmic energy will.  So if you imagine the energy moving upwards, fine, but it wont move upwards unless you have cleared the way for it. No amount of chanting or mudras or postures will do it, even if it is a centuries' old and respected method.  I am not a traditionalist.  I do what works instead of getting stuck on the romance of what a way or affectation will bring.  Perhaps I am a fire brand. I don't think so.  The same thing happens in the church where people go to church thinking going there will somehow confer purity and divinity upon them.  The act will not do it. The intent will, or can.  The bread and wine do not become the body of Christ unless it becomes that in your own intent.

Awakening is about being different.  Its not about chants or postures or ways of life. When you are ready to peer into the center of things, when you are ready to look at your life in a way you have never done before, to do the heavy lifting and work required to release the material clinging to you that will free you to ever greater realms of awareness, you may be left wondering just what this is all about.

It is about being.  You do not need a method, or guru.  You can listen quietly to it and it will tell you if you will but listen.  And then, when you hear it, be ready to love in a way you may have never loved before.

This may not be popular or believed, but it is true.  It is simple, and it is beautiful.  It is also you, and it is mysterious and amazing.  It will fill you with purpose while emptying your life of it all at the same time.  Your old life may dissolve like an alka-seltzer while something else almost beyond your control takes its place. You might want to end it all, or you might wish you could sleep for a hundred years.  You might want to shine like the brilliant diamond  you are or throw your hands up, trying so hard to align the world you thought you knew with the new world that faces you. Its not an easy path, this, but its real.  You might need a practice just to stay sane, but it could be as simple as knitting or listening to a certain kind of music with your eyes closed. There isn't a special magical or properly proportioned recipe or method that will make you feel a certain way.....you will feel a certain way by FEELING a certain way.  Do you get what I mean?  How could this be so simple as being a FEELING, and yet, its ALL about the FEELING.  Its not about methods or intellectualizing or egoistical postures or ideas or any of that......so going into its flow could be as simple as calming down at the end of day while in bed (I used to do this a lot and it worked GREAT!).  Or it could be done in full lotus in the middle of day in your office while striking a water bowl and holding your tongue on the roof of your mouth and your eyes on a certain spot, in just a certain way.  But just because a Buddha did it this way does not mean you have to.  Things change, and this is not some complex equation, but a surrender into something deep.  However you get there, you are there through something genuine, not faked, not affected or like dressing up on Sunday thinking this will make you something just by doing it when it all springs within.  A robe or a turban wont confer anything on you that you do not already have.  Its your human-ness that you have to plumb deeply into in order to get to this special place.  Its your human-ness that will spark the awakening.  And then you will be a goner. In the best of ways. 

And when you do come to this, you will come to all of us, and some part of each of us will welcome you on that day. Its within your grasp. 

Devotee

To feel the Creator
God,
Mother/Father/Child triad
Atman
Great Spirit
Buddha
or Christ
Requires nothing more from you but devotion to a purpose
your being
your own purpose
beyond mind
singular vision and intent
for when you get there
it will not be what you expect
and in so being
will reprogram you from the inside out
and show you the divine path
out of the hard life
into the world where honey flows.
It can be much better for you
for each of us here....
but it means learning how to FEEL
to awaken to this feeling self
and when you do
you become a vessel
bit by bit
as you let go of karmas
those entangling alliances
those wrinkles in your being
as you are revealed to yourself
to this divine being
once in you
outside of you
of the great light
the greatest love you are ever going to feel.

Sitting quietly its force moves through me
just perfectly
lovingly
and I go about my day doing what I must do to continue
to untangle the knots in my hair
to make myself a better suitor
for its great and expansive love.
I am its devotee....


This is not attained by or through any other but through ones self.
Each must come to the God, Goddess, or Creator, on their own.
In the midst of this
S/He will be the trickster spirit it ever was
to get you to chase after those thing that will cause you suffering
not in order that you hurt or suffer
but that you become aware that this is hurting you
standing beside you
like some divine parent
watching as you hold onto a hot branding iron
unsure of why you hold onto it
smiling saying "you can let go.....let go....it will all be better...."
and the realization that you can let these things go
to achieve freedom
and the deepest joy which abides in whatever your conception is of a higher power
fills you bit by bit as you tease from the universe those bits of gold thread
that you use to weave the tapestry of your life
and fogive all for all they ever did to hurt you
so that the world may start anew
clean slate....
for this is the heart of the deepest and truest kindness
the greatest compasion
and boundless freedom....
looking everyone in the eye and seeing they each have equal capacity for divine....
we are like lost children
trying to find our way back
and if we could but find our way back
each of us
the world would resolve
gleaming with riches beyond all belief
as each tapestry reveals the gold won for our heart's desire
and which is bestowed freely
not greedily
but through a love that is perfect.

When you feel it flow through you
someone looks out through your eyes
it seems a bit strange
but the bliss is incredible
as you make love to this Creator
and it to you
for the language of the divine is this bliss.
Here, in this world, we have sabotaged ourselves
thinking sex bad.
Even the greatest adepts shun sex
in favor of something "higher."
This attitude shows how we do not revere the creation
and in not revering
we loath it
without realizing its just ourselves we loath
and do not love
and that grain
that bit of grit in us
serves to create seperation from divine bliss....
until we can make peace with this
we will continue with a bit of grit in our becoming
rolling around in the softest part of ourselves
until we learn to toss it out
and accept the love
that is our birthright
for ever this was as it has ever been
and when we toss out our dissease with it
we toss out the disease that has lurked in our psyche
for fear that what we felt was bad or wrong
or not acceptable.
For lain upon the alter of the divine
you will be seduced completely
and brought into the great pulse
that is the universe.
Not through shame
but out of it
you will feel how missing you have been
all this time
from the morning prayer
and continual union that is what we shall each become in our turn...
not because of any teacher
but because of that part in us within that finally has no fear
or loathing
or anger over how things have gone.
Just let it go.  You will know when it no longer affects you no matter how severe.
When you can speak kindly in the midst of their demonizing of you
will you be free....

If you ask to be shown
and lay aside all expectation or pretense
if you ask to be shown how it must be
instead of wrestling with your demons
just ask how it must be
and it will be shown to you.
When you are ready, it will happen.
There is something inevitable in all of this.
We each will come to this fire on our own
person by person
just as we left it
so shall we move back into its great light
force
power
love
and bliss.

If you simply give up your fear of how you might lose something
and just let it go and ask to see plainly
you will discover the most perfect love you will have ever known
for this love lays outside of karma
and the centuries of lifetimes spent killing
raping
pillaging
and abusing one another
and perpetuating a way of being that did not serve
the kingdom or samadhi or this bliss
that flows so freely through my veins
and lights up my body
in silent knowing.

You can know this
for in truth
it is simply learning how to feel.
And when you do
you will know whatever you wish to know.
By adhering to its great power
it will show you all that is yours
like a child of a great king and queen
who had a grand kingdom
to bestow upon their progeny
except this great inheritance will come to each of us
if you but ask to be shown what is your souls greatest need
the need to be brought back to the bosom of that great being
from which we all sprang
and to we each seek to ascend back to
not realizing that we each have its spark in us
and need only listen and feel into that spark
to find our way back.

This is not about wizardry or one-upping the competition.
Quietly, selflessly,
this thing turns
and does not seek to hurt or destroy of roll itself up in ego.
It is perfectly self assured
because the enitre universe is at its command.
Quietly, selflessly, following the pulse of your own divine purpose.
Like a child of a great king and queen
powerful beyond all imagining....
no child of such lineage would ever walk in fear or uncertainty.

Touching this will show you the finest love you will ever know.
It is a process of shedding
and you must be willing to devote yourself to that
knowing that the rest of infinity awaits
in perfect timing
for you to discover what is yours to be.

As your eyes are opened
you will see not the surface of life
but into it.
You will feel life
not simply gaze upon it like a stranger.
You will be one with it
through every single particle that exists
and as you finish the work of your own union within yourself
you will see that everything else exists in this state of union also.
Some life never left union
yet exist in duality on this plane
part of awareness beyond our ability to imagine.
The quiet trees and plants
to still
represent some of the most mobile of our collective awareness
and if you are able to touch with this inner touch
and see with these inner eyes
you will find a new world pulsing all around you.
It is your birthright to know this kind of seeing
knowing
feeling.

Beyond your mind
beyond your conceptions
lies the heart of a Devotee...
waiting to become the perfect lover.