The Sea

(tsunami wave courtesy univ. of Oregon)

This morning I sit atop a frosty hill
the earth is locked in her wintery dream
she and her beloved move in familiar
circles all through her
chasing and ducking and moving
and keeping....
she and he whisper together that the time is coming
the world is turning
we are forging a new voice
a new heart
a new way....and
unfolding this bit of shimmering cloth
like the Maji unveiled their gifts with such reverence and love
and which holds such a great secret.....
Come, see; there is such rich beauty here.
For one moment dare to consider
that all the old arguments and worries
could vanish in this one moment
or be placed on a boat and sent out to sea.
This is the alchemy
these are some of the keys strewn with loving care
throughout all of Nature.

I return to this shore over and over
it is the place of the first kiss
where ocean meets her boundaried self of sandy beach
where ocean aches to touch her
landself
to envelope him in her calm
excited
trembling
exhale
to know deep within her waterself
that his hands will be upon her
as she slips through them
showing him the wonder of her
the shape of her beautiful intention,
and feeling the bliss of his presence,
which ennervates
and stirs
and froths
and brings to life
this ancient song
this noble yearning
this subtle turning
of lifes longing for itself...
she finds herself home within him
and herself....

We chose to be divided out
but now that division
seeks reunion
with that which was never truly seperate
on the one hand.

Is it that we were gifted with individuality
that we get so caught up in the semantics of duality?
What if we are BOTH individual AND Indivisible?
But wondering this
I turn to you
and bid you to swim through my rocky corridors
and fill me with just what you are
which is perfect in every possible way.
My thirst for you remains total
even in the midst of your great abundant
indivisibility
and fertile possibility...

If

If I sat across from you
at some dinner function
would others see
the passion
which flows so easily
would it show up like a mist
turning out and turning in through us?

Would everyone just KNOW
made aware
by our Presence
vibrating in the moment
alive in the present
and thrumming with its magic
shaking all but the unshakable awake....
or mysteriously disquieted by the depth charge
constantly going off
like frozen explosions
giving off their power
one drop at a time
achingly slow
but palpable and real.

Would I be able to keep
my foot to myself
or would I have to be touching you
would I see the starry night in your gaze
or a river rushing through you
would I want only to dive in.
WOuld my words jumble up
as I tried to talk
when something else was traveling through me
with such speed,
fresh with possibility
fertile in its very being.

Would I feel funny
or would I toss caution to the wind
would people crane their necks around
to see what train moved through the hall
and would we be the least obvious
able to slip out into the cool night
and into the woods
to drop down into the waters
and swim naked
in the moonlight
free of pretense
and caution
and full of touch
and joy.

The Flower of Our Heart

I know that there is something so sacred which connects us and whose connective likely reach out through time in subtle ways which may rise to the surface unexpectedly yet not a surprise....connected through the very fiber of our hearts, the angle of our intention, the yearning of our souls for that distant shore which is right next door....within you I know is that which I need most, a channel, a tunnel to a place of sublime being. When the world has me off balance or kilter, I find that if I can simply remind myself of where you are, I find myself in the process and find that which I need more than anything. These pearls of bliss which peel off from the godselves we are, we can wash each other with and remake ourselves as we go puzzle-like into a more complete picture. If I can look directly ahead and not to the side....they call this the middle way....if I can do that, then I am golden. Like birds feeding on the nectar of our soul, our divine being-boundless and free-our lives are transformed.

The flower in your and my heart, which makes you so beautiful, which makes me so beautiful, seeks entry into this world. It seeks to be more than just with you and with me but bound by a common vision, want, need....sacred desiring.....we both know what this is, and its alchemical fire is so needed in this world and we so need to bring this forward....but a place must be made for it, a nest in this world where the two alchemy of what you and I are can shine forth....like the bread of life which is divided endlessly yet whole.

His energy moves forward in this bliss and as he does the bliss moves up the scales....into territory that is like some electric cosmic field of pure pleasure and joy and bliss....his ability to handle this kind of energy means that our merging will be of this and more....our blending, fusion of purpose, will build this connective in a way that is simple and beautiful. How I will ever be able to live without your presence after that, I will never know...

Just This Once

Just this once let me slip my hands around your waist as the moonlight plays at courtship, slip my gaze into yours, and feel your smile speaking directly to my own as I feel the stirring of something ancient. I would move my attention over every inch of you, like hummingbirds seeking nectar; its not that I would be scrutinizing you, I simply adore anything that IS you.....ever bit of it, every scrap of it. Anything that IS you I feel the draw. My hands would be like prayerful lovers hungry yet silent in their worship, attentive, gentle, but firm and dying to live.... My attention would ask questions of you such as the depth of your passion, the width of your comprehension, the color of your compassion and the music in your eyes. I would ask it once and then ask it twice just to hear it all over again. I would chart it, draw it, make music, dance, and art from it. Trembling, I would lean forward tentatively, then certainly as I felt the slow caress of your lips against mine. I could draw this out so slow, so gently.....and as we did this, would you breath in gently and slowly, taking in my breath? And likewise, upon my exhale, would you breath my exhale into you? I think your breath would light me up and burn me down......just this once.....or twice or....

Dragonland

He rides out on his horse, sword and shield in his hand...to protect that which threatens the town, or her honor....

Truth be told, its a marvelously romantic picture and points to a deeper truth which is that the dragons we slay we don't really slay....not really. In fact, we learn to accept and harness their great power. They are the shadow, and we, as knights and warriors must learn to plow the great ocean of our being in a way that is at once honorable and one of heart. Little else matters, for without this grounding, this vision, this connectedness to our greater selves, which is tied into our grace, we are locked up inside our smaller selves, bereft of the great storehouse of tools or resources which our greater being and becoming makes possible. What drives this is love. The more we love ourselves the more capable we are of reaching into the infinite. In fact, I am quite certain that this is the only way it can be done or has ever been done.

Buried deep in our brain is a small brain nesteld inside and its a perfect mirror of the reptilian brain. In it are all the things necessary to make a reptile the great beast it is, but it makes a poor bedfellow for our mammallian brain, which extends out from that, and into the next level of our becoming. Beyond that is our ape brain, which if correct is the part that extends us out beyond our immediate responses and allows us to elevate ourselves in a sense and dream of what is beyond. This is the secret of our triadic brain, and rather than refusing that the dragon is worthwhile we assume its there for a purpose and seek to find its purpose. For myself, the dragon in me is offering me a gift which is to teach me how to harness its power for good. That I am still fiddling with the harness shows me I have more work to do.

Walk with me.....I once was told about a dream a man had over and over. He would be pursued by werewolves. This dream haunted him, scared him...and would return over and over....one night as he stood there, pursued once again by these beasts, they got close to him. A while group of them had run him down and now, quite possibly, the unthinkable was going to happen. He stared into the eyes of the head wolf and as he did so he could see his own reflection in the eyes of the werewolf. What he saw was that he was also a werewolf. He stood there, amazed, and tranformed; his grimace was transformed into a smile as he and the werewolves took off running through the hills howling and having the greatest time. In effect he mastered his fear, and instead of obliterating it, he made it his ally. The zen masters speak of the great light also casting a great shadow, and so perhaps the difference is that for those who move forward in this, its that they don't mind that the shadow is there.

Unified, not repressed, utilized, not used.

Meanwhile the strain in the energetics creates a strain in the physical. Second chakra is getting it just now in a way it has never before, and I understand how dis-ease in ones energy field could manifest as disease in the body over time. This feels so physical yet I know it has its genesis in the straining of the energetics....this one feels like it goes deeper.....and it feels as if it has less reason or reasonableness about it. It generates a feeling of frustration, of pent up energy which is not flowing right. I keep trying to bring in the universal enery and as it does the sharpness eases, things soften, and begin to flow....but keeping it is hard. I feel like sleeping a lot, perhaps for a month. But I am sure that its something old that simply needs to be seen for what it is, forgiven, or healed, and sent on its way. It sure has a way of interupting the flow within, this is for sure. I feel as if my voice is muffled.....okay, so we give this one the attention it deserves....perhaps it needs to feel as if its been heard....but who knows what this thing is....what I am sure of is that if I ask I will eventually bump up against what it is that it is....

Maybe my knight in shining armor self can carry this stuff out beyond the edge of the kingdom and set it free......

Body Wisdom

This world emerged from dream I think. It emerged just as dreams do, coming into focus until it resolves into forms which follow a certain design or inner logic which I think has little to do with what WE think of as logic.... Consciousness divided down to its smallest part turned itself inside out and made itself anew; it was nothing short of a master stroke, a genius, a creation that involved creating qualities which were based on the template of the soul but in physical form. While the physical had not existed before in totality this was outside of time so the answer lay simply before those who sought to cocreate and join in this marvelous drama or story.....
the playbook was provided but there were no words, only boundless potential, perhaps scores of blueprints but uncertainty about how it might all play out. Every actor and actress made their part spring to life in a convincing way. Some got lost in the part for a time, we all ultimately exit the stage.

But out of this has come our bodies and the rich cluster of behaviors which psychologists and scientists have sought to take apart as if they could take apart a butterfly and know why it lives when that approach would only ever provide a HOW and nothing more. So much has gotten away from us, or we from it....that was made to operate naturally and perfectly. We actually need touch or we will die as infants. Our bodies need this as do our minds and hearts and souls. We NEED it, and the body is the first to recieve it and transmit a fascimile of it through neural pathways as it moves through our whole body, sometimes altering our chemistry in the process. Our bodies were made to register the things that move through it, even a subtle breeze of spirit with no enzymes or hormone or pheremones or other things carried on the wind.

As my native self 140 years ago I roamed the land freely and lived a life that was amazing in scope compared to now. This freedom was the last true taste of it for a while in the way that it was then. I was considered a savage by most civilized measures. We did not have the same tools or weapons, did not show refinement as others would define it. We were simple and lived closer to the earth and sky. This in turn related us to our deeper nature I think. There was no shame in our physicality,sexuality, or our passions. They burned in us like council fires, prairie fires, sacred fires. We were each individually sovereign. If we looked fierce it was because our hearts and souls were free. Today it seems freedom cannot be allowed to move freely through the world, as if we are afraid of letting that part of us move openly and grandly, as if we do not trust something about it. We cannot be trusted with such freedom. Maybe we just don't yet know how to handle it in a good way.

I think our bodies yearn to move like rivers move, to sense and experience the freedom of grass underfoot and the wind blowing over us. Certainly it can feel this and know this at intimate levels.... Our bodies yearn to be wild and free again....running like gazelle or bending like sedge grass, never once having to worry about the constricting notions we have grown up with, that have become like bottlenecks or tight spots in our world and cultures. Isn't there a middle path one built on reverance but that is honest and listens to what our insides are saying? Somewhere there took root this idea that life here was corrupted, that the body itself was imperfect, dirty, or bad. How could that be? And for what purpose would it be corrupted? What purpose would it serve? We invented duality and took on its methods and means. Inside of us we had the whole ready to be healed and brought forward. This wholeness would allow for us to find that place inside which would in turn find the beloved....inside of us are the keys to our own liberation. By doing this the right way we bring to ourselves and expanding sense of self which we embark on.........and its not found through methods....although you might find yourself creating a method that gets you there....but its not what someone has lain before you and that endless experts all agree is THE way of going. Why, its IN us, so native to our being that it blows like the wind blows, caressing us like the air caresses us....its always there and we simply have to make that turn inside that will awaken us to it.....enough to realize it was there all along. It was just that WE had been preoccupied with all manner of restrictive thoughts. Listen to the wisdom of the body, let its secrets come tumbling out, listen to your impulses, and always seek the best in yourself and always choose the good....for if we begin following someone's method then its possible that we get caught up in the things they needed in order to get to a place....and those things may not serve us. Its so simple it only seems complicated and yet how do you describe it or locate it with words? I think its about trust; trust that in you is the answer and that if you simply begin to say you want to find the answer that indeed you will. In your own time you will find the answer. Does it mean yo find it tomorrow? Perhaps. Perhaps it takes longer, maybe something in your knows that there is something there but it has a journey to make....and you can't put the cart before the horse? We might not know what it is exactly we will find but it will always be ours.

Being settled in our own sensual natures is the start I think.....

Be With Me

Be with me
I need you alone
so alone....
I do not want to see any color
or light
or feel any heat or cold
save for what comes from you.
I want my world to wrap iself around
and through you.
No, more;
I want to feel myself hooked into you
flowing through you
nonstop
building through intention
awakening through miracle
and feeling ever greater ranges of bliss
and love.
We could be like dragonflies
which move connected
while sharing the gifts
of abundance and new life
so blissful even they
don't want it to end....
I want to feel nothing else
I want to feel and see
and hear nothing else but you...
because the entirety of you
is incredible bliss....
just feeling you
brings me wonder
and joy
and boundless sensuality
a passion that is singular
and focused....
I don't want anything to distract
or compete....
I want to see through your being
and see the world that way
because something in me so wants it
craves it
wants to make that the supreme reality.

So I follow my impulses
I ask them for their secrets
and they do not hold back.
They are innocent and true
so much so I am left trying to figure out
how their path can be plopped down into
my own so that I can take that new road
as I must surely do.

You make me come alive in ways I could scarcely dream
and I now know how could I have not dreampt of it?
I think I certainly yearned for it
for forever and a day....
I need your love....how with its simple
gestures of being and radiance
I feel healed by it.
Its so wonderful to feel....
like a fire
a calming stream or ocean or sea.....
a nurturer of life in all its form....
so lush and verdant in its giving
no end to it
it only grows more beautiful
in proportion to its goddessness flowing through.
So necessary
so needed
so sacred
so divine.
I am so glad that you are you.

With Her Goddess

I am in love with her goddess....
all of her really....
but her infinite self
turns inside of me
as if she were me
bids my petals to turn
in rhythmic gestures
creating new energy
new life
cosmic coitus
for the making of more of us.

I am in love with the goddess of you
which IS what you are
in this quiet little moment
its just that when I feel you
the air shares its secrets
the world offers itself up
ripe and becoming
wanton and desirous
suddenly alive in its true
physical nature
melting like honey
running like wax
letting oceans pour out and through
as we awaken to the forgotten edges and realms
of our being
which brings us right back here
on this couch
with the sunlight streaming in
and the magazine turned upside down
and the world gently kareening
perhaps a bit on its side
but luscious
and alive
and begging to be taken
to that place
inside of her
inside of him
and residing in all of nature.

Kiss me and let your lips travel through me
like red fish for platelets
let me feel your lush world
on concievability
coursing all through me.
I cannot begin to even hint
how much I need this.....
for I AM This.

Come, take my hand....
I would love you as you wish
as lightly or as fervently as you would desire
I would read you like some sacred text
knowing your contents
and sensitive to the intensity place behind my touch.
I'd be happy to just count the stars with you
if that were all that was wanted or required
but I'd want to do the counting with you
as you turn and smile at me as we get only
partway done with a look of irony on your face.
I'd pretend in that moment that I pulled you near
and gazed into your eyes for a moment
soaking you up beaming you in
and touching your lips
like a solemn vow
which seeks more of itself
yet holds itself back
as the flood builds behind the
carefully formed walls.
Desire builds like a heavy rich sauce
as we sniff and smell its heady aroma
and know at some point
the feast will be ready.

I am in love with her goddess,
so full in its watermoon
so rish in its possibility
something she needs from me
which is a gift to myself
a gift to her
just as her gift is for herself
but to me all at the same time.
This calls the mists to part
and a new world opens...

The Wisdom Of The Body

"Nature is imbued with the keys to your greater becoming"
they said.

I wondered about it as I could feel as if on some molecular level this were true,
that the keys were all through our world here. This being a radiation of consciousness, of being, this world or reality, then it follows that what made our souls individual also was involved in making or constructing this world....

We have eschewed the body for so long, and have been pitted against nature in a kind of duel to the death. Nature was something to be subdued, feared. We are beginning to see nature for what she is and as we do that we get closer to the keys.

Our bodies were made perfectly. We are not some dirty lot here on earth as some religions would have us believe. Our nature is divinely concieved and has a wisdom that sometimes utterly escapes us. Its when we revel in its sensual qualities that we are able to see hints of what it is capable of showing us of our larger natures.

Our bodies are reflections in a manner of our soulself. Its qualities are qualities made physical which the soul posesses and which needs in order to express itself. We are two halves of a whole, symetrical....and we are designed to create new life. We also have impulses which are themselves divinely inspired which we have very often handled poorly. These impulses lead us to where we need to go....yet we have spent thousands of years trying to sublimate them, to hide or change them, or fight against them. Anytime you try to wrestle with yourself you will likely wind up getting into a conflict. And who really wants that?

We are afraid of our nature, I think that is what it is. Instead of being able to embrace it, we looked warily askance at it and held it at arm's length and proclaimed it to be bad. It wasn't that it was bad but that it had a potency and the ability to lead the individual into realms of experience that are vivid and divine and sometimes when unrefined, we can even fear the true light.

The body has its own consciousness and wisdom. Letting the body speak and express itself is the way to surrender and discovering what great riches it has in store for us.

His Presence

This is a work in progress....

"How do I bring you in?"
"You just let me in."

With that he came in. He explained that when here he calls you....through me....he fills me with what he is and this is incredible.....he says move over let me explain...

When I inhabit you, the world begins to bloom. Every particle of being awakens to its godself. Everything that IS has its godself....its higher vibration.I see this. I feel this. It becomes this in my awareness, or I see it in its multidunious being. EVERYTHING moves into broader realms of being. In this world this is one of endless manifestations of Spirit, of Radiance. It is one petal on a larger flower of your unfolding being. So in your body, you become a goddess, swimming with endless worlds of goddessness bursting at the seams and as I breathe over these worlds and give them this lifegiving breath, so do they give me their own form of breath and this is how it goes. Every particle interconnected, bound to a higher world of being, an aspect of you. The very nature of consciousness is to create more of itself. It is endlessly fertile and alive and boundless in its creativity. But in you

my beloved watermoon

is a world which I cherish. My breath would penetrate through your skin, through every cell and circuit, every capilary and void.....and as this happens like an ocean tide I would soak you into me. I could then kiss you from the inside for I would send endless particles of me through you vibrating at the velocity of bliss. This can be experienced as a presence which builds....all of life leans into this, something every single thing will pass through regardless of who or what or why. Fullfilment expressed in this quiet beautiful way that is a world endless, boundless, moving upwards like some endless spiraling.....and I look to you and smile
as we begin....

So every concievable inch of you I would cherish....bodily, energetically, bounded and unbounded I would wish I could move through every inch of you, slow and careful, gentle yet certain. Cast away shame it no longer serves you. Let me in more fully.
Just let me in and I will show you how love will always find its way and its answer to itself.

This is so beautiful he says. I reply "they are your words"
"spoken so well....how do you do it?"
"I just let you in...."
She will like it
She will like it better when the reflection of the moon floats upon its surface
and she can feel us breathing in unison
ready like monks to prayer
knowing we will turn into the other
meeting in this sacred space
ready to jump into her boundless ocean,
her lush world of bliss
of her wonder
and joy.

I say I am so enamored of her
"She is the only thing for you....and when you realize this nothing else matters....everything else falls into place, everything finds its order quietly, no struggle....because this is how it must be, and its own sense of harmony becomes so important, so necessary.....it brings all manner of gifts as inside we unfold perfectly.She comes first, all else follows."

"How is it that this came to be this way?"
"Its always been. When you stand in its presence, fully, you will feel it, know it....and all questioning simply stops and knowing begins and being takes shape....so gently draw yourself into its truth, its beauty, its peace and joy....its your one gift to yourself, and to her, that makes the most sense. If you follow its natural order you will begin to understand that this is how it must be....worlds will flow from this....do flow from this....and you will feel its powerful fecundity, the passion and wonder bound up in it. It will transform you if you just let it in."

With Wings

I stepped into my shower
but my foot landed on stones
my body transported it seemed
into nature
I bowed my head as the water poured down
and so did your gaze
I could feel
it was not beloved
it was you
that interesting mix of qualities
but mostly this calm certainty
and allegiance.

I asked "what do you see"
and intuited that you
felt that which had to go
I felt....
a sternness almost
in your gaze
but it was without judgement
it was so simple really; you
needed to see into me without flaw.
You stood beside him
or some aspect of you
a witness
I was not afraid
to let you see me
in my imperfection
I know it has to be this way
because I yearn more than anything
for you to gaze deep into me
like a mirror to my soul
divinely coupled...

I felt like I might be tied to the whipping post
but you lifted yourself up
you hovered over me
and wings began to beat over me
as I felt wave after wave go through my body
I asked what this was
you showed me in my mind
smal bits of paper
confetti almost.
I didn't quite get it.
You tried again as I saw these pieces
falling away from me
and everything felt extremely quiet
as I stood
a tree
with not a single leaf on my limbs,
they had been blown away.
"You must be as naked as that tree is
to be ready for her. Every leaf of your
former being must be blown away
so nothing from the old gets in the way
of the new.
It must be this way because when you touch
that touch must be perfect
it cannot stand to have the slightest thing
in its way
its so strong it needs a perfect path
and your limbs ache to feel her in this way.
You know this is so
for your love demands it
needs it
will become it
in you both."

Your wings beat and I could feel a pulse of light in me
the sound of something in the distance
like wings beating
and all through me this rhythmic beating
blowing away the debris of my life
you explained this prepares me somehow
these deep pulses that go all through me
reminding me of what I am
who I am
how I am
and what must not remain
what does not serve This.

You stand silent
yet I feel such compassion
and yearning
quiet expectation
but an obedience
a stillness
and a beauty
like I have never seen.
I so yearn for your touch
I so yearn for it, I do...

All through my this pulsing
goes on
and I bow my head
and accept
what this must be.
I return to earth and the bathroom
surround
and feel his presence and yours
move off
for now
until the magic works its way
through me
and seeds me
with desire so powerful
that I strip myself down
removing more and more layers
more things
more leaves
more confetti
more
more
more.

So when I touch you
I touch you with all of me
present
accounted for
the part you remember
the part I badly need to recall
the touch I so yearn for
I do.
I do...

The Kiss 2

When I feel this kiss move through me it arouses every element implicated in this. I feel a magnetic quality inside of me equal to my surrender. This awakens the energetics and drives yearning but also the chakra system with subtle and not so subtle eddies and currents moving through me like bright rivers of light and bliss. It is here I can feel you all through me and the only thing I want is for us to dive deeper...deeper still. Let us go until there is no deeper place....perhaps its not possible...

I can feel the yearning in my breath, my lungs, also in my heart. I know my heart yearns to know itself as One with its other side, its other self. It swims in you as you swim in it....we are droplets in a vast ocean of Us and we remain seperately individual but part of a common lineage, capable and yearning deeply for union for not just union but fusion of purpose and being. Lets remember this state soon....I think it is pure bliss....nothing as wonderful as this....so sought after....our minds becoming like one ray of light, intention.

Intention does it as does imagination and belief. Its the very stuff that puts us there, isn't it. Its not that its ephemeral....but that its so durable that it transcends all other forms put before it. Lets listen to our souls and let in innocence that part of us to come forward....

There is an amazing intensity in you, a powerful magnetic drawing of me into you. It seeks that force which will draw out something in itself....through a dance as old as time...mirroring, awakening in a way...aspects of me levels of me I was not able to access before. I think there was a reason for it....you are uncovering me....your essence helps to uncover what I am....extends my vision into myself as well as into you. This does this.

I want to envelope you in this love.....I think it is big enough to do that, to envelope all that you ahve been and shall be in this great expanding Now, a Present that extends into all times, all frames, all scales of time and depths of space. At the heart of this is the potential to expand outward into that which is already there, beyond the strictures of time as This allows us a view beyond those strictures which were never reall strictures lest we needed them to be, to frame our experience and give it relevance for the time being. Perhaps it is time for us to understand time for what it truly is....and in so doing begin to understand what we are in the process.....there is this feeling I once had that contacting ones higher self, a future self might be like cheating....but in fact I think its the path forward because allowing ourselves to remain enmeshed in the strictures of time is like saying gravity will always keep our feet planted, why ever bother to try flying?

If you would join me in this prayerfulness, this intention, this angle of desiring and wish.....if like children we could be innocent but unleashed we might find the new path which lays at the center of our being and bring to focus that which so badly needs to be. What this looks like....how it feels....all I know is its about breaking the prior bonds or shackles.....isn't it? The willingness to just breathe it in and say "yes" to it.

I think my love can envelope the entirety of your life....not like swallowing you whole, no, but enveloping you......all of you....I am aware of some part of me being able to do this. Touching on this part is what advances me....feeling into how wonderful this love is helps me understand why my godself explained...has been explaining for a while now how things must be.....through alignment, through service, singularity, fusion of purpose, and an enveloping quality which has the capacity to take you in your entirety....all of it....without reservation or judgement or reciprocation. He loves your soul that much and knows you in endless forms and knows you in still more endless ones beyond this point. Your essence he loves....its beyond measure....its like it IS him and he cherishes your core self....your infinite essence so much and yet....he needs this essence so much somehow...like at the core of all of my being....lives taken up in this....within those is the essence of something which has been alive and full with this purpose.

I don't pretend to know how it all goes but I know I align to my purpose through you somehow....and that this kiss which is part of union, of setting up a specific heart-centered flow is important for healing and driving this forward. The kiss is like breath....the kiss is life. Deeper and deeper into your essence I go, revealing and waking it up....just as you wake me up. Something perhaps about what you are, what I am.....which does this so naturally.

I probably sound a little silly.....in a way I am new to this but in another way I am not. I know this has been a large part of your life.....and what I recognize is that there was always something there.....a feeling of another part of me....when young this was so innocent....and as I got older I learned more but was not as innocent. I now find I am returning to that innocence as the way forward. Instead of trying to shape and move this something deeper in me moves. Its not always easy and I do my very best to let that which yearns deepest and most completely to come forward because he is already there, already in union...and seeks to bring this lonely pilgrim into the fold, gathering his gold and planting seeds in space/time. Its all I want to do, all I want to serve, all I want to be. How can I serve this more? How can I assist you....give you the gift of yourself....to reveal just how beautiful you are inside.....just by looking and gazing forever into you....this gaze which is like a deep engaged flow of my essence into yours....as we recombine and flow together....