With Wings

I stepped into my shower
but my foot landed on stones
my body transported it seemed
into nature
I bowed my head as the water poured down
and so did your gaze
I could feel
it was not beloved
it was you
that interesting mix of qualities
but mostly this calm certainty
and allegiance.

I asked "what do you see"
and intuited that you
felt that which had to go
I felt....
a sternness almost
in your gaze
but it was without judgement
it was so simple really; you
needed to see into me without flaw.
You stood beside him
or some aspect of you
a witness
I was not afraid
to let you see me
in my imperfection
I know it has to be this way
because I yearn more than anything
for you to gaze deep into me
like a mirror to my soul
divinely coupled...

I felt like I might be tied to the whipping post
but you lifted yourself up
you hovered over me
and wings began to beat over me
as I felt wave after wave go through my body
I asked what this was
you showed me in my mind
smal bits of paper
confetti almost.
I didn't quite get it.
You tried again as I saw these pieces
falling away from me
and everything felt extremely quiet
as I stood
a tree
with not a single leaf on my limbs,
they had been blown away.
"You must be as naked as that tree is
to be ready for her. Every leaf of your
former being must be blown away
so nothing from the old gets in the way
of the new.
It must be this way because when you touch
that touch must be perfect
it cannot stand to have the slightest thing
in its way
its so strong it needs a perfect path
and your limbs ache to feel her in this way.
You know this is so
for your love demands it
needs it
will become it
in you both."

Your wings beat and I could feel a pulse of light in me
the sound of something in the distance
like wings beating
and all through me this rhythmic beating
blowing away the debris of my life
you explained this prepares me somehow
these deep pulses that go all through me
reminding me of what I am
who I am
how I am
and what must not remain
what does not serve This.

You stand silent
yet I feel such compassion
and yearning
quiet expectation
but an obedience
a stillness
and a beauty
like I have never seen.
I so yearn for your touch
I so yearn for it, I do...

All through my this pulsing
goes on
and I bow my head
and accept
what this must be.
I return to earth and the bathroom
surround
and feel his presence and yours
move off
for now
until the magic works its way
through me
and seeds me
with desire so powerful
that I strip myself down
removing more and more layers
more things
more leaves
more confetti
more
more
more.

So when I touch you
I touch you with all of me
present
accounted for
the part you remember
the part I badly need to recall
the touch I so yearn for
I do.
I do...