Friday, July 20, 2012

There Is Nothing To Do

That is what they say; there is noting to do when enlightenment comes.  No searching, no doing.  Just being.  
But do you now that the reality is that most people I have known who have had these awakenings (they are happening in large numbers now so I know a cart full of them by now….no, not a cart, more lie a small wagonload….the kind they used to haul settlers across the prairie before getting shot with arrows by angry Indians whose treaties were being trampled on….)….most of those people ALL were seekers.  All of us, we felt like there was something MORE. 
And I think this is a very human feeling. 
And how on earth is anyone supposed to know what this thing is?  I mean, really?  How can anyone be prepared for it?  I suppose you could be….but we do not yet fully understand what drives the awakenings.  It certainly isn’t stuff like kundalini yoga or meditation.  Its more like this yearning turns in the self, like the days that turn around an apple until one day, that apple ripens.  And no one apple on that tree ripens at the same time.  But they all do, eventually.  Some ripen young, some old. It just depends.  And its incalculable.  Mysterious.  When will you be ripe for this? It will be like an apple.  When it happens, someone will turn and point “There, when the wind blew like that she dropped from that tree!”  And yet, we will still not understand the structure that lays beneath that which determines such things.  Its so beautiful, though, that the subject of how to determine it seems unimportant.  The vibration is changing, folks.  There is a lot to do.  A world to recreate.  Anyone notice there is plenty fucked that needs to be unfucked in this world?  Yes, its pretty obvious, I think. 
I will tell you that its 100% guaranteed that you will be a seeker of some kind.  I think it has to do with a deeper awareness that there is something more….and while we ALL feel this way….there is something about coming to be ripe…So seeking is an important part….its like you are reminding yourself of what it is that gets your wheels moving. Someone will look at Sacred Geometry and will see some hidden meaning…..some curious strains of the inner awareness of the universe expressing itself…..or someone else might find something in coincidence, accidents and synchronicity.  Here, she hears the angels singing softly.  And another will find holding stones offer up a great ineffable mystery that simply cannot be put to words.  For someone else, its the sign of the cross….the triad….and how this figures in the energy of awakening. All these things triggering some deeper thing…..and we go after it only to find it was just the tail of the tiger…..but by golly, it was the tail of the tiger!
So go and seek.  Feel deep into yourself what the source is of that itch, that need, that yearning.  Part of it might be to want to know the ultimate source of all life…..another part might be caught up in some aspect of it…..which literally means this could be ANYTHING.  Poetry.  Fixing cars.  Weaving cane baskets.  Studying salamanders under rocks.  Making love.  Burning books.  Cutting your hair.  Breathing.  Its all part of the source of all life, and if done passionately enough, I suppose, it could gather enough energy to pierce the veil.  All of it. In it is all of that and more….like a distilled essence of an amazingly fabulous thing….a being yes…..but Jeez….how can you explain it? It is what it is.  No bearded guys or Human forms have come from it for me thus far. I say I want to be like it…..and it says “Oh, devotee…..I see…..” and so it says nothing and knows I am just going to keep my eyes on it and that is all.  My capacity to channel it each day increases as my realization grows and the old stuff falls away. 
I am intentionally NOT like the sagacious gurus and yoginis.  Just trying to explode that expectation.  But the storm that you are, the xplosions of your inspiration are also me and thus are born out of the All.  There is not accepted way to be, no suit of clothes you put on, or posture you take on.  it blooms in you and you can be a tobaccoo chewing and whiskey drinking guy who lives in the back hills of Tennessee just as likely as this could happen to some wholesale buyer for an importer in New Jersey who is from Indonesia.  So forget the stereotypes.  There are none.  
In that one soul splitting moment when everything is changed, you remember who you are.  Its like….so subtle…..a settling of frost on the tips of the peach trees, a mist in the air….it comes so quiet and it is cracking the sky and while you don’t know it, it comes as a friend to completely undo you.  For a time, its hell.  HELL. Everything you thought you knew, undone. There, lying in your life, it has undone every single lace and catch that you had tried to latch your life to in order to give it consistency and meaning. It offers a new type of clothing to you.  In the dark night as you seek to gain entry into its bliss-filled halls it whispers to you that the cloak you must wear is called nakedness.  
There is plenty to do. Plenty to feel. Feel deeply and be ready.  If you want to prepare, a practice might work.  I have none. I make it up as I go.  No teacher, no guru. Just a burning force in the center of me that is this thing.  Plenty to do, to redo, remake.  And only then, once the storm has passed and you have let go, is there nothing left to do.  Just to be.  Controlling breath can help ease things a lot while the storm is moving over and through, though. 
But whether you eat a lousy NYC hotdog or prepare kale drizzled with organic honey and walnuts, its going to course through you just the same.  And somehow you will find yourself trying to find yourself in its midst as the gurus words echo in your head that there is nothing to….

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