Coping With Kundalini

With kundalini, you soon see how everything is connected.  You feel it.  You might even feel yourself becoming it.  The physical body is caught up in this trans-formative process, and there are some very physical things you can do to make its presence in your body easier to deal with.

I think that it depends on where you are in your process.  I lived with kundalini for about four years before things began to get difficult.  I certainly had some difficulty before then, but nothing compared to when I began to question my experience, which led to a deepening of the energy within me and this highlighted the issues within that had lain more dormant as the energy seemed to have a place to reside, but was, I think, coming up against strong internal resistance on my part, albeit subconscious in many ways, against its going deeper.  When I began to work on loosening blocks in a much more conscious way, life became very difficult because the inrush of kundalini through all these knots made things very painful.  I think its possible to live with kundalini but have its energy only go so far.  Its as though it wont go where it is not welcomed, and while some would see the coming of kundalini as nothing they ever asked for, it is my feeling that on a deeper level it was most certainly bidden, and if you consider that there was something moving deeper within you that did bring this on, you are in a better position to begin to consider why this is so, and to feel less like a victim of this torrential energy and more as someone who has just awakened and is now growing up, so to speak.  I know that when I ask the energy to come on stronger in order to do some work, it does.  Sometimes it feels like it is kicking my behind, but I know that this pain or difficulty is merely lack of alignment to its perfect energy. I know that I did not have the trouble with adrenaline until I began working to remove blocks.  Only then did adrenaline rev up like nobodies business. 

The effect that this has on the adrenals and kidneys is very real.  Some can suffer adrenal burn-out, and having adrenaline pumping through you in this way can be very wearing on the body.  This can be part of the trial by "fire" that many talk about. But one thing is for sure; for as hard as this part of the journey was, it taught me come hell or high water how to be the captain of my own ship, which meant learning how to flush out latent fear in my body and soul and to get a grip on my physiology and actually learn to control it.  Your body will mirror your feelings perfectly, but in awakening, you might be a few steps behind what your body is trying to tell you by having anxiety or fear or adrenaline going full tilt.  Consider that kundalini IS a few steps ahead of you and is trying to tell you something.  the adrenaline side of this experience, when it winds up being a daily phenomenon until it finally gets resolved can be incredibly trying.  Maddening, even.  But if you have encountered this, you are not alone and it IS possible to get through it.  Many have, and you now have it in you to do so also, if there is stored fear in you somewhere.  I do suggest surrounding you with people who either understand you very well or who love you unconditionally and regardless of whether they understand or even KNOW what this kundalini is all about, are willing to be there to help you talk you down out of a tree when you need it, if you need it.  Sometimes the best thing that you can do is listen to a great joke or blow off steam in moments like these.  If it feels like you have been gritting your teeth for the last week and a half, its time to do something that will break this cycle and focus you in a different way.  there is something that some call kundalini syndrome and it has resulted in some people kind of losing it.  You have to stick with this and work through it in order to dredge the latent material in your psyche.  It is curious because its less about chucking something out the door as its simply not mattering anymore.  More on this towards the end....

Listen to what your body is telling you.  If you are not hungry, eat when you are hungry. If you are a strict vegetarian and feel an urge to eat meat, this is not something you should ignore.  If you can't bring yourself to eat meat, at the very least look into what it is your body is craving and seek to supply it in other ways if you can. Some foods I have found that have been very calming have been curry, cantaloupe, and eggs have been a very good "smooth" form of protein that I do not have many reactions to. I have read that any kind of melon can have a calming effect.  I often have issues with meat sometimes, especially beef.  Not always. We pump all kinds of things into these animals and we do not have good ways of slaughtering them. All of this can be felt in the heightened state of kundalini. Soy has estrogenic compounds in it, but Mung beans are almost as high in protein as soy without these compounds which might have a calming effect, and they might also have the effect of working against your own hormonal output. I have found that greek yoghurt, while higher in fat than other yoghurt, it also has a lot of protein too and tends to stick with you.  Peanut butter has been a staple for a morning meal on toast and is something that can stick with you if you want to stay away from meat.

  To this end, there are things you can do to help support your body during this time.  One of these is simple, but very useful.  Its exercise.  Some have said that exercise can make it worse, but my experience has been that it helped to burn adrenaline at a critical time when I was in a kind of misery physically.  If this get to this point, strong exercise can do the job.  Realize, the reason why there is so much adrenaline is because of fear rising to the surface.  This is not JUST a physical effect, but one brought on by kundalini pushing fear out of your subconscious self into waking consciousness.  As hard as that is, it is what Kundalini will do.  It is a very hard blessing because it will clear you out in the end.  When I say exercise, it may need to be strong exercise in order to burn off the adrenaline.  Understand that adrenaline is there to power your muscles.  So power it.  The adrenaline comes in proportion to the presence of fear that has long been suppressed. During some of the hardest times with this, I had a bicycle that I would ride.  My bike is a mountain bike, so I took it off-road and rode up and down grassy hills around parks and in natural locations.  Instead of feeling totally jazzed, I felt a measure of peace after these rides.  This is of course a stop-gap measure, but if this is a big issue, a painful one, then for the time being exercise that will get your heart rate up will most likely be the best.  The other side of this is learning to deal with the fear, which I will get to later.

One thing that was pointed out to me by a friend who had lived with kundalini her whole life and who was educated in eastern practices, was how the eastern cultures tend to have an alkalizing diet.  It is in these cultures that there seems to be the greatest awareness off and perhaps incidence of awakenings.  Is it possible that the by products of adrenaline,the fight or flight end of our experience, creates compounds in the body that serve to keep it in a frightened state?  A kind of chemical reminder that we are still very much swimming in the chemical soup of fear and the shadow side of ourselves?  Alkalizing the body serves to actually change the body from acid to alkaline.  Its totally unintuitive, but the results are that it does.  One way that I introduced this into my day to day regimen was to put two teaspoons of organic apple cider vinegar in water.  I eventually got to a place where I would just quaff a tablespoon of it straight with a good dose of water to chase it down. I tried to do this twice a day.  Another way would be to use lemon juice.  You can also make sure that you eat salads that have vinegar in them as well.  One things you will need to watch is how it might effect your digestion.  Normally stomach acid is very strong, but in some people who have problems with acid reflux, making sure you don't aggravate your condition with the addition of more acid could be something worth considering.  The other side of this was how to help the kidneys, because it is the kidneys that are involved in the production of adrenaline.  One very good tonic is organic wild cherry juice.  It can be had as a concentrate added in the same way to water as the vinegar.  Take a few times each week, it is supposed to help support the kidneys.  At the core of this, though, is learning how to deal with adrenaline.

I am of the opinion that the reason why the adrenaline is there in the first place is because of an unresolved issue concerning fear.  Kundalini highlights this and builds on it in a kind of unmerciful way where everything is put under the spot light so WE SEE IT instead of just shoving it down.  We may not even know WHY we are shuddering from the adrenaline and having such a hard time of it, but I do believe that the whole purpose of the adrenaline syndrome is to learn how to transform or transmute it in the body.  This is huge.   HUGE.  Being able to figure out intuitively how to change this set up in your body, this end of the chemistry is a form of spiritual alchemy.  We can analyze it all we want, but ultimately it requires an ability to gain some control over our bodies and how they react to this chemistry.  Adrenaline, I suspect, is only part of the story.  In fact, I believe that my bliss is not simply a dopamine/serotonin cycle but a cycle of adrenaline as well (but in a much smaller dose---we have kind of gotten off track with our feelings and this has affected our body chemistry).  Adrenaline mixed with dopamine gives me the "high" that feels perfect with kundalini.  I also suspect that most addictions to opiates (which are dopamine mimics) and to speedy drugs like cocaine and amphetamines (which mimics the adrenaline) are the inner yearnings we have towards trying to find a balance of them in our bodies, a subconscious effort to bring about a balancing of them, and thus a craving for them.  I think this MIGHT work in the beginning of using such outside forms of the chemistry, but it quickly devolves as it almost always does with addiction into something that wrecks health and life.  We recognize this chemistry, but learning how to foster it in our bodies is the trick. Its very much like learning how to ride a surf board.  Not too much forward, not too much back.  You have to be in balance on this mighty wave.  Its a kind of way, very hard at first, for finding that balance point where through feeling (feelings are the catalyst for all our chemistry internally I feel), we are able to steer our own vessels into waters that were entirely unknown before all of this took place.

So let's think about fear for a moment.  Why do we have fear? And what does fear accomplish?  Most often fear is the result of something that has happened in your past that created a strong memory.  We all know that the event is in the past.  It is gone now, but we carry the fear into the present and even project it into the future.  This does two things. It takes us out of the present which is the point of all power and it also keeps us from meeting the world in a more direct way free from prejudicing it with fear.  The cycle of fear continues until the fear is either faced or let go.  Learning the art of surrender is a powerful way to stop the cycle of fear. But how do you do this? It takes some doing.  It takes being willing to relax in the moment and tell yourself that there is nothing you can do about the fear. Fear is from the past, not something in the present.  You are merely projecting it into now or some unknown future and it robs you of what resides in both. Tell yourself that there is nothing you can do about whatever you are fearing.  What happens if you feel fear but feel like it is so irrational that you do not know its source? The same. Tell yourself as you sit quietly breathing that there is nothing you can do about the fear except to let it go.  You tell yourself that you will, step by step, reduce your reliance on this frame of mind.

Breath in deeply and slowly and as you do imagine that you are breathing in nothing but the present.  You are not breathing in the past. Imagine that the air of the present is not touched by the past and that what you are breathing in is perfectly pure air free from all troubles. As you breathe in, imagine this pure air exchanging itself and as you breath out carbon dioxide, you are also ridding your body of a fine layer of fear.  With each breath, you are doing this.  As you think through the day, focus on your breathing.....and all you have to do is imagine this, image it in your mind. This type of practice is very powerful because we go where our thinking goes. If we can imagine a different outcome or condition, then this will eventually take hold. Its how we are. We are  like computers that get programmed. What you are doing is reprogramming yourself.  In order for this to work, you must work at it and give it time to work. The next type of breathing is very helpful and the most potent and it involves breathing in one nostril with a finger covering the other nostril for a number of breaths.  Four would be a good place to start.  Then switch to the other nostril and do that four times.  Do this as many times as you feel works for you.  it does a very good job of calming your mind. You see, your mind has been allowed to run this fear program for years, and now you are beginning to put that program to an end.

Relaxation CD's  have also been very helpful for me.  The best have been the ones where someone is simply guiding you with a minimal of other bells and whistles.  I used a CD for dealing with anxiety at the hardest point of my process.

Another very simple yet effective way of dealing with energy is to lie on the ground to help discharge it.  Another is simply surrender, a practice that will loosen your field up some and just allow all this energy to flow. If one area feels tight, it suggests there are knots there.  Kundalini can help to dissolve these, but it seems to work best when absent having any understanding of what the block is about. You do not need to consciously know all the time what these are. Allow yourself to be led. Consider knowing is not necessary.  Feeling will lead you there and using the mind can sometimes get in the way. The mind is not always the greatest tool for getting yourself around this. Surrender will tend to allow the flow to increase and also run more smoothly.  If it all feels too much, surrender more. This is the act of realizing what you are deeper down.  If this brings on anxiety, its most likely the presence of ego. The only way around this is to let the ego drift into the background. It can cause most problems especially early on. The phenomenon of "ego death" which I consider a misnomer, is a rearrangement of the ego within the self so that things function more smoothly.  Ego has been put front and center where it occupies the same space (kind of) as the essential self should.  Moving it out of the way will help immensely.  However, this can be a difficult process.  Some call it crushing, a kind of collapse of all kinds of artificial constructs that we thought were so important. But this is not the end, but the beginning. You will find great relief in letting the ego go.  This is why meditation can be so helpful because the ego has a tendency to drift back and away.  In sleep this happens in the normal course of dreaming, too.

Meditation can be helpful because of its naturally relaxing tendencies.  Allowing the self to quiet down and open so one can flow can be very helpful in coping with kundalini. Sometimes it can also make one feel less grounded, so you have to decide for yourself what works best.  I am of the mind that an increase in the energy is a positive thing, and the only problem lies in feeling safe with it. If the energy feels adversarial, it is best to realize that this is not coming from the energy but from you.  The energy is colored by this and it will seem it is true.  Removing the "problem" is the solution. Surrender.

I have used Chi Gong (also spelled Gung) during my process that helped a lot. Chi Gong means "energy work" and involves a very low impact physical workout.  It helps to move Chi in the body. I found it helped to dissolve blocks very effectively.  I spent close to a year going to these weekly classes that were held by a man who had learned White Crane Chi Gung that is part of the Shaolin tradition. I think it is good if you have a teacher who is calm and supportive.  You don't need someone yelling at you or barking orders. Ordering a DVD on this type of work could be good for a daily routine alone if need be.

Another aspect of healing blocks is shaking.  Many people will go into shaking fits when kundalini hits them. There is a reason for this.  The instinctual self repsonds to try and remove or make the way easier for the energy to move and shaking will do this.  This is just another form of movement.  People who reach ecstatic states most often do so with shaking and even jerky movements. There is a reason for this. It has a neurological, energetic, and physical basis. Do not feel funny about shaking or moving.  It is nature's way. Even vigorous dance will no doubt make you feel much better. Past trauma and hurt and other issues are lodged in the body on all levels and this shaking helps.  People who do energy work in the body find that by moving the body this can help release blockages.  Ida Rolf had a very aggressive form of deep tissue massage that she found helped to release old impacted emotional material.  You need someone who knows intuitively where to work on you in order to locate and then liberate your body of this material.  Shoulders and upper back can be a popular place for material to rest, but so can the abdomen, the hips, and other joints. Often people will lodge a lot of emotion at the location of an old injury. Anything lingering from than injury can often be found there.  It happened to me that I had emotional material lodged in my shoulder after an injury there.

Movement is something I am dealing with in my book Waking The Infinite, and in it I have observed through numerous traditions that movement, even ecstatic movement, serves an important function in the physiological connection to the effects that trauma has on the body.  As you awaken, I am sure you have discovered a whole new way of sensing energy.  Things are much more apparent in this way, and you feel through the energy body to the point where you can feel others around you.  You feel patterns of past trauma in others as energetic patterns that can be translated into etheric pain that gets referred to the body as well.  This is where extreme stomach tightness can occur, headaches, and pain in the heart or just about any other part of the body.  As a result, you can become more acutely aware of those issues you have in your own etheric body and which have become lodged also in your physical body since the etheric and physical feed perfectly into one another.

Something that can also help you is to simply use intention.  If you reach a place where you feel like you are all out of answers, if you feel like you can use this method, do.  Ask the universe to send you the resources that will serve your highest.  You do not need to know what this will present to you as.  You can also ask for more specific things like a teacher or assistant of some kind.  The more open you are to its coming in many different forms, the quicker it can happen.  This could come as a person or it could come in the form of a book or an experience or conversation with someone who mentions to you just what you need without your having ever mentioned it. If you have not yet experienced the power of this during awakening, it is time you tried.  It is known that there are these odd events called synchronicities that happen in greater number with those who are awakened. If you look up synchronicity on this blog there should be some examples of my own experiences with it. It does no good if you simply do not believe in it. The way for it to work is to hold the hope or wish as clearly in your mind as you can. Imagine how you wished for some toy as a child. Do you remember how excited you were when you wished like that as a child?  You need to do that and as you do, hold it only for a moment and then entirely let it go. Give it to the universe.  Don't hold onto it.  The energy has to do its work FOR you. It does no good to simultaneously wish and then feel like it can never happen because what you are doing is asking the universe not to give it to you. Its going to mirror you perfectly, so send the wish with as much hope and excitement as you can and let it go. Put your mind on other things and forget about it. I do this all the time and its as simple as making the wish and then not obsessing over it.

If I were to tell you how this has worked for me over the years, you might have a hard time believing it.  And yet, if you let yourself consider it as a possibility, you can see for yourself how you can begin to utilize this very powerful ally in your own journey.  You do not need to know how it will work.  If you ask for something that does not come it could be two things.  It could be you have a competing belief or it is somehow not right for you. I do not mean to say that it wont ever be right, but trust also that there might be other things more pressing that you have to get through. If you can feel a sense of trust in this vast power that will do what is best for you, it can open you up to just the right attitude that you need.  Consider being led.  Let your own will become the will of the universe.  Feel devotion to it, feel peace that everything will work out as it should.  You are small, and you may not be able to see the bigger picture.  This also does not mean that you should simply sit idly by for it to happen. Follow your instincts too. Make yourself ready or open by living your life.  Allow accidents to happen.  Follow a hunch. It does not always have to make sense.  I have made my greatest discoveries when I pulled a random book off a shelf or followed a completely odd urging in my head to go somewhere or do something.  These can be the things that can lead you to the resources that you didn't even know exist.

One of the single most effective stances during awakening is courage.  Being willing to meet every single skeleton in your closet and let it go is a powerful tool at your command.  This is important, at least in my experience because a very interesting things happens when you are sitting there at two in the morning aware that there is some great wall of menace bearing down on you as you sit in meditation; when you let yourself step into that wall of menacing blackness without fear, a very curious thing happens; the fear is transformed into a sense of buoyancy, even of bliss.  What you thought one moment was the end of you was in truth a new beginning.  Whenever I have stepped into the unknown in this way, the very nature of the thing before me changed.  What once was like a giant dragon became a small mouse.  I laugh; over and over I seem to have to relearn this!  My goodness!  So in the beginning of awakening, you might be faced with something that might paralyze you with fear, but in that moment be brave and ask yourself; are you going to die from some faceless fear?  Will this REALLY be the end of you or your ego or identity?   I think of that old scratchy recording of FDR saying "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself" I smile because you know, he was right!  Its the FEAR that is the problem.  Once it is gone, most challenges tend to pale in comparison.  Your faceless fear (okay, so let's say it has a face....its still being driven by fear after all....so consider that) can morph and change into anything because it really is beyond all reality.  By facing it, you bring it into reality and realize that the REALITY is that within you is this divine creature seeking to emerge (really!!).  Try it sometime, and I think you will see what I mean.  You are actually in the process of shedding layers and for a time these layers might project themselves against the wall of your fear and make you concerned.  But I encourage you to take courage.  Believe in yourself.  Be easy on yourself.  yes, we have all fallen short, yes we have all done things we are not proud of.  If you must seek forgiveness or confess, then do so.  Do what you need to do to reach  a place where you feel right with the world.  Piercing the depths of our own ignorance and fear is one of the single most laudable acts a soul can make here on this planet!

See, when we fear something, the fear itself serves as an attractant for whatever that vibration is of that thing that is upsetting or dogging you.  You are like velcro inside with loops custom made for whatever that thing is that is upsetting you.  Your job is to let go of it, and when you do, all those little loops just relax and it just slips away.  Its very much like this!  By changing your own inner energetics, you make it to these things that were drawn to you or that still hang around you to just go away.  This is so for old hurt or trauma, to people in your life to even etheric critters that might show up to give you a scare. Like attracts like....and it might only be a fragment of like that is in you, but you really do have to let go and the rest will slip away.  Layer by layer you will go at this, so do not be surprised that when you clear your heart center one time, you wind up going back to it a year or two later for deeper clearings.  Its almost like dimensions within your energy field.  the Hindus, I have come to learn call these Etheric Sheaths (and I have a post on these, so you can search using that term and find the post).  Its like you go from one dimension within one chakra center only to find that you emerge into another world within that chakra, and then another and another.  This I think will take some time, and do not be concerned about it, because once you get to that point, you WILL be in a much better place (its all a process, layer by layer....).  So don't feel defeated if you make a big release only to find yourself having another in the same place.  It wasn't that you didn't do it completely or somehow failed at it, you certainly DID release material, there was just more of a different vibration.  It might be a smidge of something at the first level that has to be flushed or it might be a block deeper down.  Be easy on yourself.  Keep your perspective!  And when worse comes to worse, don't forget to laugh!  I mean it!  Don't get to serious!  Ego loves serious, and you need to keep the bugger at bay.  And when we laugh, we most often tend to put things back int perspective:  "Oh my goodness!  I was so serious about that big knot in my chest!  Now that its gone, I see it wasn't such a big deal as I made it out to be!"  Just go easy on yourself, okay?  And if you can't do that, realize that you are here at a time when the vibration on the earth is changing and its changing in part due to YOU and thousands, perhaps even millions like you in an event that is unlike another in history (hows that for revving your ego engine?) which is that there are more people now having spontaneous awakenings than at any other time in recorded history!  I think that is pretty awesome, don't you?  What does it mean?  Well....that's for another day.  For now, chop wood, haul water!

I am a firm believer that as you seek, so shall you find. Doors will be opened to you as you ask for them in the right way.  Believing in the possibility but not dwelling on it or anticipating their happening has always been the best key to their happening. In this way, they feel entirely effortless, and this is I think the whole point. Things can be much easier if you let them. If something is tripping you up, maybe some pain in your field is resulting in fear or hurt.  Maybe through movement or a simple act of forgiveness, you allow some long lost issue to simply drop away, one that had gone past its due date.  And as it does, the hurt resolves into its opposite, which is joy.  And love.  Being able to do this kind of work for ourselves is a profound act of love towards the self, the soul.  it seeks to make YOU right before trying to make the world right. Since the world IS inside of you, getting better inside you is a fabulous and very healthy way to find authentic happiness and fulfillment.
I hope you find the magic that is your own soul peering back at you through these marvelous events that are great gifts!

The Levels To Awakening

When I experienced an awakened kundalini, my experience was not one where a bolt of energy burst up my spine and illuminated me in total cosmic bliss.  Oh no.  It was much more subtle and gentle.  In fact, I didn't know what was going on with me at the time.  I was not scared or even terribly alarmed.  I had read some about kundalini many years previous, the book that is now a classic by Gopi Krishna.  His description of the experience didn't come into my awareness or thought when considering what on earth was going on with me at the time.  This is to my mind why its so important that we try our best not to pigeon hole this experience.  Rather than a thing that happens, think of it as something that you are becoming.  An evolutionary spiral has moved within you to a bend where you are now turning into something different, moving through a very different part of your becoming.  Eventually, we will all experience this as if I feel is right, its an eventual thing, a human thing, not an aberation or oddity.  It is what we are.  The energy which we call kundalini or awakening, or nonduality states is part of us.  It IS our consciousness.  In a way that I have described before and have felt to my marrow, is that the energy that inhabits us, while it feels like its some intelligent energy, is our own refined consciousness doubling back upon what we could say is its ancestral state, us, developmentally.  It is like going back into time with a time machine and telling the self you were in an earlier time, all the things you needed to do in order to grow into a happier more fulfilled person.  This is very much what is happening.  This energy is you, and it is also, by the way, the universe. 

For me, the process was piece-meal and gradual.  I had odd sound phenomenon.  I actually heard a woman's voice as though it was just outside murmuring for hours on end.  As soon as I mentioned it to anyone, it went away, only to be replaced by other sounds that I could hear coming from a different location. One sound was that of Native American drummers who were singing and drumming.  I wondered over what it was that was making it so I could hear them in the distance?  Around this same time I began to notice phosphorescent markings on the wall at night.  They would appear night after night until I realized there was no way these lights could have been there as I saw them.  No light was shining through the window, and there were some mauve and green colored plastic bins that had been stacked along the wall, so even if the light was shining from outside the house, they would not have looked as though they were flat against the wall, but against curved plastic surfaces that no doubt would have colored the light with their industrial plasticy-ness.  I began to suspect that these lights were a kind of projection coming from me.  I listened to a hemi-sync audio cd during this time and found that I was seeing still more strange lights as though my own eyes were like a projection lamp in front of me, staring at these forms on the ceiling.  All of this, most of it, is mentioned in some accounts of what kundalini is, but at the time, the sheer detail of the experience kept me from thinking this had to be an Awakening.  My body, both the physical one and the energetic one, was gearing up for something.  What it was, I had no idea, but because I had had unusual things like this happen to me before, and perhaps because I had always been interested in the nature of consciousness, I observed all of this with a mix of fascination and curiosity.  I was around my edges a little concerned, but not afraid. In retrospect, an energy was working in me at many levels, aligning my consciousness on subtle levels and beginning to shake up some of the dross that stood in the way of this flow of universal energy moving through my conscious self.  This was like a construction phase, and like all projects of that type, its often hard to know just what the project was really all about in its fuller scope.  Its hard to know what your living room is going to turn into when the workmen have begun to deconstruct it.  Or, like many different parts of a much larger puzzle, I only had a few pieces that bore no relationship to one another, and while they looked interesting at the time, I didn't know where this was headed. 

The process was gradual.  It began to grow a head of steam over about a six month period.  During this time I had none of the usual symptoms that would make me suspect this was kundalini. In fact, I suspect that the classic kundalini awakening is one that is less desirable for us to have happen as it it more like a lightening bolt than a slow and gentle churning of our insides.  I have since read a few accounts of this bolt from the blue experience and many of the people are left afterward with a huge question in their minds as to what that was all about.  It was as though they were suddenly and powerfully transported to some ascended state of being only to be put back into normal consciousness.  Like riding in a New Delhi taxi, the rider is subjected to many jerks and turns that feel a bit overwhelming and hard to take. In the end, however, the path that this energy takes is the path it probably needs to take based on where the person is energetically and physically.  Its interesting for the fact that a friend of mine who worked in the same field as I spoke of how he had awakened kundalini during a class he took in kundalini yoga.  For him, it was a more classic example of the energy flowing up his spine.  He knew what he had done, or was doing, and chose not to let the energy proceed further.  He shut it off.  Then, when he talked to his teacher about it, he found out that the teacher knew the techniques for the type of yoga he was practicing, but had never had any direct experience himself in it!  Stunned, he felt fortunate that he didn't move forward with the experience.  For him, the experience left him shaken, even a little scared.  He spent years dealing with what he described as the fall-out from this stirring of his energy.  Instead of being able to embrace it, it was something that he steered clear from.  Perhaps if it had come on more gently, he might have been able to have been able to experience all of this in a more gentle way before the flames grew bright within him. 

For a couple of years I experienced what this energy was doing to me on a deep level.  I watched curiously as this visitor took up shop in my body and began to do its work of stirring my insides, helping me to reach a place where I found a number of long forgotten issues to rise and lift from my awareness.  It was unblocking me, this I knew, and at a certain point the energy reached a place within me where it more or less stopped.  I could feel the energy still vibrant inside of me, yes, but the cleansing action seemed to have stalled.  At the same time I had reached a place where I was feeling a deep connection to someone I had never even met.  This was all energetic in nature, and was the one facet of the experience that stretched my credulity.  On the one hand something in me knew this was fact while another part needed evidence because the place where all this came felt so....imaginary....so fluid.  I was used to using my imagination to make art, but not fact.  Imagination was something that could be used to create fact, but imagination was not itself fact, right?  Later I learned there was a lot that I didn't know about this new world I was moving into.  At first this connection via bliss and powerful life force made this connection feel as if it was fated by the universe.  Somehow I was in an energetic dance with another person on the planet, and I thought at first it was because of this other person and their spiritual chemistry that was making all of this happen.  As the energy stalled and I began to take stock of my situation, I found that when I turned my attention to certain areas of the energy, it would seem to talk to me....it stirred a knowing inside of me that only created more questions.  Long before I heard anything about the holographic nature of the universe, this energy was talking about it, showing me in dream-like imagery while in full wakefulness how it worked, how the universe was made up of particles all dancing on a wave.  I was shown the world in its most massive scales and its most minute, and at each level the structure was the same....or nearly so. Everything was built on a simple form of energy and it very much had to do with positive and negative charges.  While this worked out ina perfunctory way in physics, what I saw was the the universe was filled with feeling.  The stars that gave birth to our consciousness were inside of us, and we were inside them, bearing their lineage as part of the stuff that made us what we were.  It was less that the world was a giant parking lot that we filled with our lives as  a universe that had feeling, was filled with energy that was alive and pulsing with desire.  As I turned my attention to this energy, it showed me the relationships that all of these pulsations have, and how our position within the seeming polarities of universal energy was part of a choice that we made moment by moment.  Our sexuality was itself a fundamental expression of this universe.  Around this great pulse of energy there was masculine and feminine, and they existed as seemingly separate in a world of duality so that we might experience all the parts of conscious energy in an upclose and intimate way.  In truth, we were both masculine and feminine, for we were the universe looking back on itself.  We were droplets of individuality beginning to move in a sea of collective waveform identity that went beyond anything we could have previously imagined. 

This left me wondering what the limit was to all of this.  There wasn't any.  It simply was a vast field of limitless energy that we were beginning to experience, and it would reveal itself only in terms that we were comfortable or capable of experiencing at the time or place that we were.  As I began to shift my ideas, my world took on a different cast.  My energy went through the roof.  I found boundless creative energy available once I gave myself over to it. This was not something flowing as a result of being connected to an energetic counterpart, but as a result of my own inner counterparts dancing within me.  By learning to loosen up my rigid masculine self, a feminine flow of energy sought a way into my life.  Being involved as an artist, this naturally expressed itself in making things, but things that reflected a different process for creating. I was less in control and more willing to let this energy do its thing.  I was only just begun to inch out onto the shore arm of a vast ocean.  As I questioned the experience and what it might be, events in my life began to change, too.  I met someone who challenged my old ideas, and suggested I was not in such a great place as I had thought.  I was woefully lacking in awareness about who and what I was.  I was given some basic suggestions for how to help this energy do its work in me. When I did this, still more miraculous things began to take place.  I was told that there was someone in my community who was a kind of local expert in energetics and was going to help me in breaking some of my blockages energetically. In a matter of days, events happened that would put me in contact with a man who was in the forefront of his field, and part of his expertise was how to help move energy.  It turned out his classes took place just a few blocks from my home, and whose presence was made known to me by a customer who contacted me the following day and happened to mention how she was taking his class and maybe I might want to try it out.  Much later, I would learn that this same person had also had a kundalini awakening a few years previous to this time.  This was the kind of events that would take place in my life surrounding the resources that would come my way as a result, I feel, of needing something more, of feeling as though I had only heard part of the story.  This began a process that was in truth incredibly arduous.  It stirred all the deep hardened material that was inside of me and revealed all of my frailties for the world to see (or so it felt).  Letting go, I learned the more I could let the ego go and be humble and willing to let this experience teach me, I began to have incremental improvements in my state.  The energy, though, had grown to incredible size.  It powered an inner alchemy that included a sudden pouring down of adrenaline into my body.  This was the hardest part to deal with.  The anxiety and fear that it aroused was horrible. I went from a few isolated dark nights of the soul to an ongoing battle with all manner of things that were lodged in my psyche.  The first thing I learned was how to deal with and transform the adrenaline in my body.  Slowly I learned to transmute the fear into bliss.  I had to change how I felt about fear.  I had to not let fear get to me.  I had to be okay with it.  When I figured this out, the experience began to get better.  For about nine months, though, I was caught in a nightmarish clash with my shadow self, with adrenaline, with ego, and the fear of letting go.  I felt as though my entire being had been put in a vice and was being crushed.  I often just wanted it to STOP.  For the first time I understood why someone might kill themselves just to get something larger than themselves to come to an end.  I was very fortunate to have had a friend who understood how difficult all of this could be, perhaps the only person who understood, and who was not there to judge me but to help me find a constructive way out of this mess I was in. Just as everything was ramping up, I began to be aware of a very large energetic presence around me, and this was when I became aware of a very old guide who had been with me my whole life but who had seemingly emerged during times of inner clarity for me to become aware of him. His face had changed some but his eyes were still the same interesting mix of piercing blue with pure compassion.  This was when something amazing happened.

Ealry in the mornings I often had this guide come to me.  he had awakened me one morning to have me go outside to witness what would wind up being the dawn of Easter Sunday.  He explained to me that all my lifetimes were opening up to me like a vast hallway and through my work with awakening, I was learning to let go of all the junk that held me connected to the hurt and trauma of those lifetimes.  This was negative karma, he said, and as I listened to him speaking in the darkness of predawn, I saw the hallways of my lives begin to turn up like a bottle that then got shook so that all of its undersirable contents would shake out.

Divine Alignment Going Down For a Bit

For the next weeks, D.A. will be going down.  This will be temporary and will result in more writing, more new ideas.  This will begin this following week and will continue until a few weeks beyond the New Year.  Your interest is appreciated, and I hope to have the blog back as soon as possible!  As the Winter Solstice moves ever closer, I hope that you find joy and hope as earth swings back towards the sun in her great dance that keeps us moving round and round!

The Next Big Thing

Someone once thought what a great thought it would be to connect machines that we use for processing information so they could talk to each other.  The concept of interconnectivity rustled and moved in the mind and heart of humanity.  The internet was born.  But this new idea was reflected in a still deeper sense, expressed in the world of form veiled in technology. This is the deep well of connectivity that we each have at our fingertips, a world which rests at the outer edges of what we seem to think is real or possible.  It is indeed the next big thing.  It has in truth been with us for since....well, for ever.  Built into the windings of dna this Presence has rested, for it was creator and conciever of All Things.  It is the Creator, maker of all codes, all languages, all modes for expressing. It was Creativity itself. A Great and Mystical Power.  And it has tangled us up and eluded us, and shown itself, always present in the Moment, always ready to leap forth out of our inner code into our conscious awareness.  Rising like a tide, rising like the fiery depths of the earth.  Inside of you lies that molten core, covered in watery depths, seemingly mysterious and unfathomable.  And yet, we humans are spurned forward in our innate curiosity for understanding ourselves throught he world around us.  Truly the world is but a giant mirror, showing us who and what we are.  The degree to which we turn from the nature of nature is the degree to which we deny our own nature.  We and nature are one.  Nature and Creator are One.  One looks into the other and the trick is that they are different, somehow not the same.  But it isn't.  And yet it is, all at once.  Somewhere Creator thought it would be a great idea to make a corner of its universe capable of seeing itself in this way.  We, children of its becoming, are working out the great mystery that it is.

We are each individual and separate, all at once.  One is not illusory, one is chosen, created out of a broad realm of knowing and yearning.  The echoes of this yearning live on in our dna, a Choice to be a certain way, a sacred path of becoming.  Some call it illusory, but that is only part of the story.  To know more, you must go deeper into it.  Your mind, your very brain, is a reflection of a given choice made a long time ago, and yet it also has the innate capacity to become every form on the planet if it needs to.  As you rested and grew in your mother's womb, you moved through the long hallways of all life here.  You were reptile, mammal and primate.  You grew a tail, lost it, only to build a different body as your very dna mused over the path that all higher life has taken. Somehow, this is important as it has been stamped upon your brain, embedded in the cells of your nervous system and makes up the wiring of what makes you you. But together, we take this journey through these many lives, a family of humankind, a family that knows itself as All here. As we take the step into this next big thing, which is as ancient as the stars, a new wrinkle in our being emerges.  Now, at this place in history as the population builds and the resonant frequency allows for a broader interpretation and experience of life here and what it means to have reached this place, only to go further into the next dimension of experience, we are faced with Awakenings that are happening as a result of all of this.  Will the species bring forth a new form of life?  And what does this mean for us?  Perhaps it is as simple as getting it all right internally so that the power of an awakening can be best utilized for bringing us to this place.   Some might say its the move from what we were to something else, and while that may be true, the way that it can take form is not necessarily something that will separate us from what was before, but join us again as it has always done, deeper and deeper still, down into that world that is reflected in all of nature.  Perhaps it means that we are readying to move into a new community of souls, some of whom aren't even human, but part of some still larger community of beings who are themselves waiting for us.  Our relatives who have gone before us.  our paths perhaps intertwined in more ways than we might even know but that our myths and old stories reveal as the fire crackles in the night as we tel our winter stories and dream a whole new world into being within the shimmering screens of our imagination.  The fires we sit before now still flicker but its with a blue t.v. light as a whole world of possibility seeks to bring itself to its maker.  Maker and made, looking back at each other, all a part of each other, each imbued with the gift that was loaded in the dice of destiny from the start. 

Inside of you lives the next big thing.  It is not something your mind can conceive.  It means bringing what we think of as being our more rudimentary senses or sensibilities.  Within the hands of feeling lie our ability to conceive as broadly as the oceans spread and surge before us. The path to this place is through feeling.  Your imagination carries the keys.  Never think that your imagination is anything less than real because what is real is the least understood thing here.  Our greatest sages and gurus all want to agree that this is all illusory, but for them, that was the next big thing, but the big thing keeps expanding as our ability to imagine and conceive expands within our awareness.  In truth, its endless, our awareness, we just have to learn how to feel into it and once in it, move through it with the facility that we each have.  Time to grow up, time to enter the great cosmic community.  A world interconnected.  We are dreaming it, becoming it, trying to understand it in all its shades and possibilities, with freewill at the helm always.  We rise and fall on that one simple element planted in us, not a scourge but an opportunity for learning and becoming.  Will our need to discover and move forward overcome our need to destroy the very life that sustains us?  I am hopeful.  And if not, then a lesson it will wind up being, and it wont be the first time.  But with each step, we come closer to something deep and ineffable, entirely mysterious and deliriously wonderful. 

As we move into the deepening winter, I hope deeper things still for you, for in those depths lies the story of who you are to become within the shifting sands of freewill, the very tool that allows for creativity to unfurl within.  It makes YOU a co-creative being.  We each have a voice in all of this, each of us combining and bringing into the Collective Interconnectivity of the planet. Drops becoming waves, waves becoming the tsunami that washes up on shore, washing away what was before, making room for something new.  Its big, and its in you.  Blessings!

The Lineage

Your being here is no mistake.  Your being composed as you are of salt water is no mistake.  Your being arranged as you are is no mistake. The masculine is composed in the physical as a mirror of the spirit, just as is the feminine.  As we create new life physically, we create new life spiritually.

You were born of a being that was both mother and father to you.  Out of this infinite self you were conceived outside of time to live in time and space.  Only through the interplay of the creative force that is moved only by the interplay of the masculine and feminine, did you come into being. Only in this way are worlds formed, and ideas nurtured.  If you are reflective and can observe calmly as you are creative you will feel the masculine and feminine move within you.  those who are highly creative do this without giving it a single thought, but if they were to do so, they would feel how the currents and tides of the feminine await the flow of the masculine through her.  And through her, his invigorating force is given voice, purpose.  Without her, his is a frustrated universe that can teeter into madness. He needs Her just as She needs Him in order to know what her great capacity for nurturing the infinite can be.  The wo are not separate, but opposite ends of the same continuum.  The attributes we assign to each we do so out of a deeper knowing.  No man is complete without his inner feminine and no woman is complete without the masculine as well.

To know your parentage, your great spiritual lineage is to embrace the paradox of being.  its a bit like looking into a hall of mirrors.  In you lies the seed of the creator.  In you lies a channel for the creator to move and flow, like a landscape that has rivers flowing through it, bringing it life and purpose in creation.  And while the mirror of the creator lives in you, you were born or a lineage, and the consciousness that gave you being was itself given the breath of individuality by a still greater being dreaming itself.  Your parents are you, and you are your parents.  You can trace your awareness back to them and through them, you can know the vastness of being of which you are a part.  The cell that lives in your left elbow is every bit as much the body as the body is itself. All parts move together, and at no point can you say there is an individual because there is a dizzying array of individuals living in you right now, and you live within a still larger body that is the cosmos.  Your family is the human family, and the seeming final border of your skin does not keep you from exploding out into the world, into this great cosmos.

You were born royal and were born into this world like an orphan.  But the orphans of this world will discover their lineage in direct proportion to how deeply they sink into their essence.  You do not need any intermediary, for your soul is boundless and knows the realm from which it was given life.  The great trouble we have is in concieving that humans are unable to touch upon their lineage, and thus are kept in a kind of slavery to ideals that never served them. For as holy as some may be, their words if distorted, do not serve us.  In this small piece of writing, this sense is expressed, even by a greatly revered man:

Go to site HERE

The Divine Lineage

Sri Kaleshwar performing arthi to his master, Shirdi Baba

Shirdi Baba, Jesus, Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, Ramana Maharshi and Sri Kaleshwar are part of the Divine Lineage. Sri Kaleshwar says we all need the help of divine souls to find God. “How to suck cosmic energy? That’s called the God energy. We can easily suck cosmic energy. It has to be through some holy persons. We can’t handle that cosmic energy directly. Through some holy person, maybe Jesus, Shirdi Baba, any Ma, any Baba, any Swami, any holy man, any holy soul. It’s through them. First we have to be able to receive their energy—to taste. When you are ready to taste their energy, then that energy makes you to connect to the cosmic. Without tasting the love from the master, from the holy man, from any traditional strong soul man…if you can’t get love from him, if you can’t receive the energy from him, if your heart is closed to such type of people, there is no chance––you can’t suck the cosmic energy. You can’t connect to the universe. You can’t connect to the Creation of nature. We have to understand––we’re just a small peanut in the biggest, huge God Creation. In the incredible Creation, we are just a small, small nut.”

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We are in our physical small, but we are the petal on a still larger lotus, and in being part of that lotus, can find the path towards a still greater awareness of being.  And in that awareness, we know we are far more than what we seemed we were.  To do this is nothing extraordinary.  It does not require you to go to the mountain.  You merely need to feel deeply into yourself.  It only requires reflection, openness, a willingness to think anew.  If we do not, we will live as orphans and never know the great lineage from which we have sprung.  It is time for this lineage to emerge like brilliant lines of gold ringing the planet.  It is not a grandiose thing, but a silent thing that has been with us always, waiting for when we were ready to dream it.  But to dream is not to imagine only, but to create, to enter into those worlds like this world, to find the deeper truth in what it is to be gifted in this way by Creator.  Our lineage will ring throughout the world as each person wakes up to the truth of their being beyond the pain that they feel defines them.  How about the joy that defines you?  How about the divinity that defines you?  How about the great mystery that awaits you in this vast world juicy and ripe?

Awakening cannot be explained, but experienced.  Trying to explain it is like trying to understand liquid water by studying ice.  It is close, but the opposite end of a far larger experience.  Explaining what nonduality is by talking about the ocean of being or just the individual is in a sense missing the point because in the experiencing ALL states exist at once with no paradox, no contradiction.  An Awakening breaks you out of the old accustomed modes of being and moves you into a watery realm of self that has always been there waiting for you, a fundamental aspect of your creaturehood, your being.  Like love, it can be described, but all descriptions fall short for the simple fact that its in its direct experience that it is known.  In that one moment, though, your world shifts in a significant way.  Even those who are touched by it in a temporary way are changed forever.  It is not something foreign to us, but fundamental.  When you find it, it is like awakening a long lost love, or something you always knew but had perhaps for the time being forgotten.  It is the mover of worlds.  It is a game changer, a churning of your insides until your earthly self aligns with the cosmic, and in that moment, you will know that the two were never separate.  Something inside of you served to create a rift that moved you in directions far afield from your fundamental self, your larger self.  While ego was involved, this has not been some cosmic accident, but an experiment, a journey we have chosen to take here in this world.  There is far more design in the stars than we could ever dream possible.

Unlike some, I do not feel that our more icy side is a false self.  All aspects of being serve a purpose, and we chose the arrangement of self for a purpose, which has been to learn the myriad ways that consciousness can arrange itself and express itself.  This purpose has served the infinite self in its quest for experiencing a boundless realm of awareness.  All of this, every scrap of it, is a creation, and suggesting that the creation is any less real than the consciousness that formed it forgets the nature of the infinite which is itself creative energy.  In fact, you can work your way through an Awakening by learning to allow this creative energy to flow through you.  This energy is freeing, opening, and liberating.  It actually breaks away the ice of your former being so that you may begin to experience the more watery realms of your awareness.  It isn't that the ice isn't of any benefit, its that it has its place within being, but so does the infinite ocean, and when the ice clogs the self so that the watery self cannot flow, we become limited in what we can ourselves experience in the moment.  We feel cut off from some still larger source of purpose, which is the foundation of our creaturehood; the creative.  The egoic self, the individual is a part of being, its just not the whole story.  There are vast realms of awareness quite different from the ones you know now, and it is in this broader awareness or state of being that will show you in a direct way what awaits you.  The beauty that you are, the beauty that is the universe, lies nested ---curled--- waiting to unfurl, bringing great fruit to bear in your life.

Since creation is itself an act of love, creativity is itself unifying and a bringer of love. This is why those who are creative, regardless of their discipline, will love what they do.  Its because the work, be it a physicist, mechanic, librarian, teacher, lawyer, or artist, bears the mark of the creative.  Otherwise, the work become work, instead of ones passion, and everything becomes ordinary, perhaps even perfunctory.  Observe anyone who is great at what they do and you will find creative energy, innovative thinking, a willingness to break out of old modes and molds. In truth, our creativity is our connection to our divinity.  Ringing within us are the faint echoes of the first impulse of creation, the very essence and secret of how worlds were formed out of a seeming "nothing" that was itself full of everything. This is why the experience of Awakening is full of passion and power, of beauty, and grace.  Its is beautiful and terrifying as the old you, so crammed with ice, finds itself on unsteady ground while the volcanic passion of this experience seethes up all around you, threatening to swallow you whole, threatening to destroy everything your egoic self has worked hard to install, protect, and propagate.  It only seems a threat at first because of how conditioned you have become to feeling like your individual self was all there was.  The ego is threatened and swings into action, creating body pain, trying to keep together the old alignment based more on a limited understanding than on anything enduringly infinite or larger than itself. Because it is a young self, it cannot be expected to move with the same depth as the soul, the infinite self.  It tries, and slowly slowly, it learns, but knowing already exists within you and it lies deep within your breast, deep within the yearning that is but the tail of a much larger tiger.  Hot blooded and alive, it moves with the certainty that its divine being has conferred.  The only threat that it brings is the threat of change.  Uncertain, there may be fear at first until you are utterly seduced and brought into a new way of being, and of feeling.  Out of the intellect and into feeling, you learn that the one language in the universe is Feeling.  It is through this that we commune with the entirety of All That Is.  Here, secrets unlock and we resolve into beings who are unmoved by those secrets.  It isn't that a secret isn't juicy and wonderful sometimes, its that using the secret it simply no longer necessary, for the secret is that it is Us.  Whatever it is, we are One with it, for this Watery realm of our being means to heal the separation that our individuality has served to create through its having been created. 

Beyond who you are, and what you think is possible, is something still more. In our conventional thinking there exists all manner of distortions and presumptions that do not serve our larger unfolding.  Knowledge is not the key to unlocking the universe.  It is love and the creative, and all of this is spoken in the language of the Creator which is FEELING.  This is the bright sun that shall melt away your ice and bring you to a new alignment to your being.   The secret to all of this is learning to feel deeply.  And in those depths of water fire and even ice, we discover through wonder what it is to be a human reaching for the stars.

The Loveself

Kundalini is about mastery over your subconscious. This mastery, though, is less the lion-tamer and more the loving gentle lamb.It is also about love, and this love is experienced in a myriad of ways.  What we experience, though, in Awakening, is how our very consciousness begins a tantric dance with the universe, one which reveals just how infused the universe is with passion.  The degree to which we have separated ourselves from this fundamental level of experience is the degree to which we have removed ourselves from our Essential Selves.  An Awakening will begin to reacquaint you with this ocean of bliss until you learn to remove all the layers until you stand completely free, naked, with your Essential Self with is this very passionate being that is love.  This is your Loveself and it is what you have always been underneath. No need to be embarrassed, or feel shame. In fact, shame and fear and all of those feelings have been the problem.  Now its time to heal and remove those layers.  You have always been there, shining through all of that stuff. 

For lifetimes, your soul has been sending parts of itself into physical reality.  Over and over, these different selves have made a range of choices, and often these have been similar choices, choices that have caused some behaviors to become ingrained.   Each time, that which remained unresolved, would get played over and over because the earthly self would, by virtue of  its own freewill, choose something based on something that was foreign to your essential self, to that part that you might call your larger destiny.  It chose to be with someone who would not love them perfectly, who would hurt them, or who would not feel the right way.    Whatever the particular flavor of the karmic entanglement, these kinks in the self can became deep ruts and would be recorded in your being as a karmic entanglement, less because the world was hard or hurtful but more because something in you was not finding its alignment with your divine being.  So over and over, this misalignment would play itself out until whatever it was that had been the cause of the problem got resolved.  Over and over this played out, lifetime after lifetime these issues would come up with the opportunity to work through them, less as a test, and more because of how the universe is ordered, which is not that its punishing or judgemental, but because you and the universe are realy one, and being one, this universe aligned with your expectations of it.  You simply attracted what you were.  This is hard for most people to take, to accept because, after all, none of us would have ever sought or chosen for bad things to happen to us, right?  Still, though, the truth remained all along that the traumas that you experienced, the trials and tribulations all resolved around that which you were unresolved about, that served to hurt you because they simply were never anything that was in your highest.  This is the missalignment, this is the source of all trouble, problems, and suffering.  Its less about expectation as buddha said, that cuases the suffering, its that the expectation that our earthly selves sometimes choose over and over that cause the problem.  This is the seed of our growing up, of our maturation and coming to the one undel=niable truth of our being.  If you want the world to change, it is you who much change.  The old argument must cease, and the way of your feeling must change so that the old argument simply is no longer important.  No one knows this better than I. I struggle with this all the time, and is the eseence of all that I am dealing with in my awakening.  It is also what everyone struggles with.  Eventually, like small children, we learn to set aside those things that we thought were important in favor of something still deeper.  If you want to call this the illusion that some speak of as being part of life, Maya, then so be it.

I will say as an aside that I do not feel that this makes our lives here merely illusory.  This notion must change if we are to be able to take in the fullness of this experience here.  This world is not illusory, but real.  This world is a CREATION, and it is this one element in our greater being that is the one great truth; we are CREATORS.  We are seeded with this impulse, and it is what has made worlds to form.  These worlds are the means by which we work through the very thorny issues of our becoming.  This is very important, very critical to our becoming.  If we then don masks in this play, as Shakespeare suggested, and the world is a stage for this greater inner drama to unfold, then it makes this place an important one for us and all of life.  It is a way for us to come to know ourselves, to evolve, to develop.  Its only by healing the rift that we have felt all along about our place here that we will learn to come to a better place within ourselves and with the universe both expressed (or created) and residing in potential.  When we can see how everything is delicately wedded to everything else, will we see or feel how we are not separate at all.  Certainly an awakening is all about showing us how everything is connected instead of separate.   By understanding how we create our world moment by moment based on how we feel, believe, and what still remains as that hitch inside that keeps us from a developing sense of unity with ourselves, our higher being, and the universe, can we begin to resolve the separation.

If you look back at Western culture through the lens of Christianity, you will see a story of a Fall that happened in the very beginning.  This is where we can trace in a mythic way, the source of our misgivings and thus separation with creation.  If you understand that there is no God that is angry, ready to punish you for being who you are or for not obeying the commands of this God, then you can begin to understand that this Fall was one which we ourselves created.  Somewhere, a sense of falling short entered into us, perhaps somewhere where we felt our individuality and our egos perhaps too much, more than what I call our own Waveform Awareness, which is that part of our experience where we transcend beyond the particle of the self and move into unity with all other particles (be they atomic or cosmic) and into the vast being that makes up the Collective Awareness and touches upon our infinite being, upon the universe of which we are all a part.  Somewhere, though, we fell out of that Wave and into the Particle.  When we did that, we forgot who we were in completeness.  Then the grief, the sadness, the suffering began.  We felt shame and we felt naked.  Instead of being connected with the vast intelligence teeming all around us, nature became something to be conquered.  Nature also became something that we no longer trusted.  We did not speak to the animals, they did not hear us and they feared us.  We also had reason to fear them.  We lost something very important.  We saw their animal nature as something not to be trusted and this meant that  our own animal natures could not be trusted.  Our natural impulses were seen as dirty and shameful instead of arising out of that vast Wave of Creative energy that is the essence of Awakening and our greater being.  This all happened and we made a myth of it as a way to explain to ourselves why we felt the way we did.  We also served to ingrain an old wrinkle in our psyches with a story that would be handed down from one generation to the next only reinforcing those greatest of fears.  And here, the separation was never made more brilliant and certain; man and woman were pitted against one another in a distrustful way in the same way that they had chosen to distrust their own divine natures.  Men were made to toil and women would bear the weight of what this distrust encompassed.  Whew!  What a way to get started!  So little wonder that we have the trouble that we do.  Time, then, to work through this so that all the old stuff can be made peace with and the separation healed within us.  

When an Awakening stirs in you, all of these old issues get brought to the surface.   It will be through such an experience that you may begin to glimpse just how attached you became with the hurt in your pasts that mirrors your own present experiences.  The universe mirrors you also, so events will happen based on who and what you are.  If you have issues related to abundance (see the root chakra), nurture, mothering, and taking care of one's self, there are often issues lodged in the vibrational frequency range of the root, for example. It can be in other places through your energetic self, certainly, but will often tend to cluster around a specific area in you because of the particular vibratory frequency associated with the specific problem you have.  Every issue will have a certain frequency, and will tend to reside in a given part of your energy body.  An awakening bring awareness of this, and will point you to certain areas where there is pain...not so much in the physical body (although it can manifest as physical pain and sometimes even physical problems) as it is in your consciousness. This is where we can get very quickly into diagrams and systems, but the thing to remember is that this is just about a return to love.  When you find yourself having trouble, getting tangled up in the harder aspects of awakening, all you really have to do is breathe deep and ask yourself what this is all about.  Its about LOVE.  That's it.  You don't need to know any more.  If you make it too complicated, it can squeeze out the love.  Can you love?  Good. Want to talk about how consciousness is ordered and how healing plays into it?  Ok.  But its better to just feel the love. This alone will heal and smooth those hard surfaces.  There are a lot of hard people who have awakened, and they think they have softened, but this is all a matter of relativity and awareness.  You can soften more.  Your soul is crying out for a still deeper experience, and you need to give yourself to it in surrender if you are to know true happiness with your soul. This is because your soul IS love.   The soul is simply love, and the closer we get to it, the more powerful this feeling is.

The feeling of being free from your old hurts is because of how close we have moved to your soul. Some will want to think they are experiencing God, but in truth, you are experiencing your soul as it is connected to everything else.  Its pretty amazing, really.  And if it can feel like this, imagine what the universe might well be deeper down. This comes about in a permanent way when you learn to release those old unresolved feelings, those kinks in your self that keep you from feeling your higher self, your Essential Self.  This is about learning to align to your divine self.  Divine Alignment. 

There is a lot to learn.....and its simpler than a system.  By learning how to feel differently, you find the sacred path to your soul.  You also set up a vibration that the universe will form itself around you with, mirroring you perfectly.  Because your soul exists outside of time, it feel infinite to you.  Call it God or Goddess, whatever you want....the Cosmic Muffin...it all works....because this loveself does not need to prove anything but simply be, your way of being with this is in a quiet and uncomplicated way.  In a sense, all it is asking of you is to jump into the water.  Overcome your fear.  Overcome your inward brittleness and stiffness.  Flow with this water, flow like the ocean of being. This is because you ARE this ocean.  There is nothing else you need to know.  Oh, and just be happy. The war is over.  All of that attachment to hurt and trauma, it can be over in an instant.  Moment by moment, you learn to change the future, and you also change your association with a past that is now being changed as surely as your present is being changed.  Think how incredibly powerful this act can be.

As you do this, you make it easier for others, whether you are aware of it or not.  It is certainly what happens in the midst of the quantum field of effects.  As each person makes their own discovery, they add to the vast ocean of awareness that each awakened person is swimming in right NOW.  You shift the world with each act, and you can also make it easier for others to awaken in a way they might not have done so otherwise.  It might be one grain of sand, but we are billions in size and we are motivated via the web of the All.  This might sound a bit silly to you, but understand that nothing has ever been more true, and in so being, you must know that you can bid the tsunami to come and move your world if you need for it to. It will change and take any form you need it to, for the universe aligns with your expectations, especially those expectations which are subconscious, unresolved, pushed deep down inside of you out of shame or fear or any number of things that your karma has served to create in the choices you have made through how you have felt (conscious or not).  This is one reason why becoming aware of all your inner junk or your old baggage is important; you can live a much more rewarding life when you are more in control of what it is you believe and feel.  Since the universe forms itself around these feelings, then how you feel has never been so important.  An awakening helps to dredge the depths, and as we do, we have lots of very fertile compost with which to build a more verdant life built on what we need deep down than just the surface and what has remained troublesome and misunderstood.  The universe is conforming to your expectations of it micro second by microsecond....

You see, even if you never help another, your own experience will itself be available in an entirely perfect way to others. If you chose as I have often felt impelled to do, to slip quietly into the ocean and drift from shore, from this world and into other realms of brilliant potentiality, it would not be a loss what you would otherwise perhaps give had you stayed.  Through the potential of the Wave, that part of the experience of awakening that leads you to that different way of being where you feel yourself flowing into everything, where you feel the connection of your energy with that of the leaf, the flower, the atoms of air, and all things present and implied, obvious and subtle.  It is this part that you are able to tap the limitlesness within you.  It is here that you learn to feel differently.  And just as I was told by someone who showed up in my awareness at a certain stage of my awakening, this person said, "there is nothing more for you to do except to step into the blueprint that has been brought to bear in this time. The efforts of countless pilgrims, sages, priests and priestesses, all have unknowingly and in their own small ways, helped to contribute to what you now have before you.  There is nothing to be done except to step into this blueprint that was fashioned by Collective Consciousness, through Collective Effort."  It seemed rediculously simple at the time, but this is just how we find change in awakening; we simply choose to be different.  Its not hard work once we get there, its just a sideward move, a step to the side and the world changes. Ego thinks it has to be all this work.  Beneath it all resides what has been, waiting to be brought into greater awareness by divesting of that which held up our attention and energy.  By focusing energy in areas that are healthier for us individually, we can feel the divine flow within us more clearly and more powerfully. Instead of seeing it all through karmic lenses, we see through a nice clean and clear window....which is our birthright.  Its what we are destined to do.  Without time tables or expiration dates, the infinite expands outward.  We expand with it if we are just brave enough to let go, opening ourselves up to swift hands of divinity that can do great work for us.

By opening up to the possibilities that this world offers, we can rediscover the self that we are.  Its what we have always been.  We are learning to grow up.  But unlike C.S. Lewis, who was biased by his own lack of healing and a belief that suffering is God's way of helping us to grow, we can learn to see it differently:  suffering is what we have brought on ourselves.  Since we have freewill, and since this freewill is so important to the deity, that being wont interfere with what we choose. We learn to reap what we sow, and by learning to sow differently, we come closer to that deity, to our own relationship with it.  The truth is, the universe is love, but its not a love that is on any kind of crusade for or against us.  All of this, we have created.  It is now time to return to the garden.  It is within you and me.  It is in all of us and it is within our ability to find it if we can but remove some of the old brush that has grown up around what will resolve into perfect beauty for us, in us, through us. This is where we heal and find union with our divinity.  How wonderful is that?

I Don't Care....?

I do not care for what the experts have to say.  They are worn and weathered by ego and hurt.  They spin systems and methods.  Advaita, nonduality.....oh my goodness.  They are touching upon the nerve, but never seem to plumb the world behind the nerve.  Always touching it, happy that they are (me too...at least it is that) but it saddens me when someone writes a book about how to find a guru in an awakening, how to spot someone who has not quite "climbed the mountain."  Even those who have been soul connected, those who have swum in the deeper waters of the Collective Consciousness, know that just by feeling another who we mirror, we can catalyze change and healing, and there is nothing done but simply connecting through the Wave of the All, something that isn't talked about very much, but is I think what a guru will do (think darshan--often called "blessing" a word I learned about recently which I understand to be riding the waveform through connection and other aspects of energetic transfer) You see, when you awaken, and even before, you find things based on what you mirror.  It becomes so crystal clear, so obvious....its an elephant in the room....and its inescapable.  If you have some victim issue, your guru will mirror that and you will come into some kind of tussle or tangle with that...and either you will learn from it or you will deepen the waters of your victimhood.  The world will have proven that its out to get you while you slumber, not realizing that its YOU who are creating this.  You have ultimate responsibility.  Perhaps, in a way, this is the silly illusion they talk about.  Its silly because the illusion is real.  I mean, think about it; what is this energy made up of?  Its CREATIVE.  Even the sexual energy felt in an awakening, its just the bliss of creation flowing through us.  And we are here to create our lives....to create and learn from those creations.  Karma has been our ultimate creation in the past.  We are learning, though, the responsibility inherent in creating.  This is being done via free will.   We are free to create heavens or nightmares.  We can choose peace, or strife. Our lives are a reflection of this.  There is no destiny in this, its all subject to an infinity of choices.  Create.....watch that creation unfold. The creation is the product of the sum total of your vibration in that moment......your beliefs, your fears, your hopes....all of it.  And through this, we learn.....sadly, though, the level of discourse on this transformative topic has not risen to a level where I feel good about what's going on.  We can do more, we can do better, and a little discussion and sharing of perspective will help add to this stone soup until what we have is something greater than the sum total of its parts.

I prefer simple because the energy is simple.  It can get incredibly complex, but by understanding that you  rest astride a larger consciousness, you can sit back and watch this higher self do incredible work in your life. Like a savant, people do not see you for what you really are.....because they do not realize their own capacities.  Unawakened, they fear for people getting the "wrong" guru or teacher, or they want to point to what is and is not enlightenment, and having ridden the cosmic wave I can say that even the word enlightenment is a troubling thing to even say.  How do you mark the arrival or destination for something that is never ending.....Its like saying you graduated from college....its arbitrary in all truth because now all you have is a little piece of truth and an infinity of learning yet to do.  Its another phase, which is both an ending and a beginning.  You graduate from school and realize you have only just begun to understand.

I prefer the simple things.  This is the kingdom. It was a mustard seed.  Most do not realize what he was talking about, but it all sounded nice, even if it was a mystery to most  He knew what this was about, and it was largely swept under the rug along with the divine feminine.  It is in the book.  But the best way is to be simple, like children.  You know you are in trouble when people start saying what this is and is not....kinda silly when awakening is LIFE.  Who is to say what it is and is not?  Something DOES happen, though, and its profound and powerful; it changes you forever. Fire burns and courses in your veins 24/7 and you ride atop a wave of collective consciousness and this is not easy when you are not refined.  It hurts, its painful, dreadfully so sometimes, until the ego learns to step back some so the feeling self can grab the reins.  Forget intellect and mind.  They cannot nor will EVER grasp this.  All they can do is identify, classify, and make a complicated mess of something that is more like poetry than anything else. So when Ken Wilbur says "a schmuck before awakening, a schmuck after awakening" I cringe.  First, schmuck is what gets tossed after a circumcision, a Yiddish term that has entered our language in a pretty crass sort of way.  And the problem here is that what Wilbur has missed is the extraordinary promise an awakening can have for each and every one of us, the potential for transformation. Not just this, but people are transformed from what they were ( a Wilber "schmuck") to something greater and beautiful; what they were deep down, what they have always been perhaps.  I am not criticizing Wilbur as much as I am trying to bring a new kind of discourse into this; we know very little based on what is being said and written in our current time it seems, and when these folks open their mouths it just brings the bright light of focus.....and I wonder.....what is gained by me putting another light on this of my own?

It makes me want to pull away from it all, to simply let it all go....why do I need to write a book?  Why do I need to help anyone?  Why?  I know why, or I knew why, and this why feels like a boat that once carried a full crew full of concerned souls, and now is just a floating vessel emptied of everything as I abandoned it for slipping into the ocean alone and naked.  It could not be simpler.  I pray to this ocean to take me....and my trust resolves into a deeper and deeper appreciation for its great and wonderous mystery and beauty.

We are this ocean.  This ocean is us.  Everything is connected.  Not just simple platitudes, but deep certain reality.  Everything sings with this marvelous voice, even the pained ones who cry out in their own self imposed dark cells of pity and victimization.  Each so hungry for love, so desirious for it, yet so punishing and hard.  And I ask why I even need to say anything about what IS and is not enlightenment.  Lets forget that and remember what it is to love.  For this, dear reader, is the one thing we need so badly that its enough that you run from the moment in order to discover its presence inside of you, a dark pulsation so utterly remarkable....so simple....

Maybe it was never meant to be talked about, but experienced.  Maybe we have everything we need.  Maybe we CAN bring awareness to others through the power of the Waveform Awareness, which is Collective Consciousness.  This is how we connect to that endless ocean.  We, a particle like a photon, discovers how it is entangled with the All and can feel the All inside of its seemingly finite body...knowing itself to be infinite and able to feel everyone around it....and feel the pulse of all life rising up within it....and so through others sometimes we learn something that eluded us, and so we can learn directly...and maybe if we are to learn from the other perhaps it is through this direct cognition that is the Waveform Awareness, the infinite, the universe inside of us. Perhaps this is how we need to learn, silently and with a prayerful purpose.  The man who spoke of the kingdom also said in a gospel that was hidden and then buried in NAg Hammadi Egypt that he bore a fire and was himself fanning its flames until the whole world would catch its fire.  This fire is the fire of awakening, of kundalini.  Sadly, we have lost a lot of what was taught from the man, because what the scrolls have given us and what some insightful scholars have been able to tease out from his Aramaic (not Greek as the documents accepted were written in) that there was probably a good deal of mistranslation. Maybe they weren't ready then and maybe they aren't ready now?   But maybe we do not need the teaching since people are waking up without benefit of ANY meditation or diet or nadi cleansing or any of that.  Perhaps only because the wave of the collective is growing, building in potential, like the flame Jesus was talking about.....

Its a fire, its an ocean, its a mystery.

So with the innocence of children, the freshness of their hearts and minds, let us forgive and let go what has come before.  Let us in this moment just let it all go within us.  None of it matters.  There is an infinity waiting.  Its more than we could ever dare dream.  Here, we can play and watch as we create and realize what the ramifications are of those creations.....

Goodnight, and heal well, Wilbur.

REviSioninG KundAlini

I very much want people to understand that everything written about kundalini or awakenings is based on a feeling, but is describing something that can't be felt seen or touched.  Its not conventional when first experienced.  Its a horse of an entirely different color, and yet, it becomes the entirety of being as this energy begins to swell and grow within, a tidal wave that sweeps away the debris of a lost life, now a growing memory in the face of the fires of the soul.

But the idea that kundalini is a serpent wound three times around the base of the spine is a nice way to envision it, but its not correct.  The deeper truth is that within the resonant energy that is the soul self, you are interconnected with a vast field of energy.  This energy is like the background radiation of the cosmos, or the waters of the earth; they are everywhere and connect through vast networks.  This energy builds much like a wave might build and within this wave is an entire octave of harmonics.  As in all energy, there are harmonics, like octaves on a musical scale, and these are all a part of a standing wave of energy.  It does not go UP the spine.  It potentiates.  Within the base energy lies all the other energies in potential.  As this energy builds and as you clear the debris within your field which is  years of muck left untended, the ability for this subtle life force energy to further build within itself those other frequencies is realized as we simply surrender and open ourselves to what we learn is the divine flow (it winds up being so different from what the books would have us believe!....another good reason to consider rethinking some of this!).

So the idea that kundalini rises only tells half the story.  I know; I have experienced it in about every possible aspect one might imagine, and kundalini does not operate in a linear fashion as a rule, but it can.  Kundalini moves through each center and works with that energy center until the debris is worked through, but centers can open in a totally nonlinear fashion as was the case with me. The things is, on balance, one frequency of energy will tend to push the frequency next to it, but if there is resistance to the orderly rise, then it will seem to jump around.  There is no right way, no more orderly way, or more divine way.  Kundalini, being intelligent, knows what it is doing, and deep within you, its knowing is your knowing.

Interlaced through all of this is the masculine and feminine energy, yes.  These two poles serve as archetypal forms that loom large in the psyche and mass awareness of the race;  they are mother and father, they are husband and wife, and they also happen to make up an important part of who we are both physically and nonphysically. Having these parts at work are a critical part of our unfolding process because the energy itself seems to oscilates between these two poles.  This makes the dynamic flow that is this energy.  Each of us, composed of differing percentages of masculine and feminine energy will align in our own way to this universal flow of energy which is itself beyond duality yet seems to be this as a result of the way our world is ordered.  All of this is discovering your potential, and everything that happens will serve this in some degree. As this happens, your Essential Self moves to the fore, into your more conscious self in a way that may reveal a great deal of who you are but had been submerged.  In some cases, long lost parts of yourself are enlivened only to recognize and discard as no longer needed.  This amazing sorting process that kundalini presses upon us helps us to redefine who we are in terms of the cosmic and divine.  Within this is the "rise" of kundalini, but the "rise" is merely discovering your fuller potential.  In many ways we are much more like onions than centers of energy that are linked one after the other.  Each of these energy systems, by the way, called chakras, themselves operate as funnels for bringing in nonphysical energy and while connected as if in a chain are in truth more like funnels that move from front to back of the body and repsond to a given frequency range of energy. We then have certain "centers" that just happen to correspond to these energies and that also have a tie into our psychology or spiritual physiology, but its more as a result of what each energy range is capable of containing or carrying much in the same way that a radio frequency carries information.  When you need more or different information of a different wavelength, you have to tune into finer vibrations, and these naturally will lead you into different parts of the enrrgy body, into these funnels we call chakras.  But they are indeed funnels because they draw in and push out energy in the same way that a black and white hole operates.  In truth, chakras look just like a black hole that sucks in energy and pushes energy out.  Each funnel is resonantly tied and overlaps with the chakras physically near it so that these energies all operate as a whole.  Within you there are all manner of tides of energy, and not a single serpent to be found.  Thinking of it as a serpent has its purpose, but we are also entering a new world where our sensing will be more refined than ever before as an increasing number of people come to this experience.  If thinking of it as a snake helps you, great.  I think in the final analysis you will find the movement of kundalini to be much more nuanced than a mere snake as well as something that isn't linear but does act upon a body system in a way where certain centers will feel a flow one to the other sometimes.

An awakening is a powerful and mind blowing experience.  It can also be one of the most challenging experiences of your life, too.  Being able to come to this experience with a nondogmatic understanding of its potential I think is a good first step in realizing that some of what we have in our past is limiting.  We do not want to limit our envisioning of what it is we can become.  In the face of an awakening, it sure feels limitless!
 

What We Are

I have been making a few changes to the pages, trying not to have things too cluttered.  As I look through the stats for the site I see some interesting things.  Not to worry; Blogger provides some information about where people come here from, like a referring site, and their country of origin, but its pretty basic information. 

What strikes me about the people reading the blog is that they come from such a broad range of countries.  I will see someone from the United Arab Emirates, just one or two, every now and again, but consistently coming on and reading.  U.S., Canada, U.K., Russia, Ireland, Italy, and South America continue to be the heaviest traffic, but the stats show a consistent broad-based readership.  It is for this reason that I have been upset about their not being a good translator application available for blogger so you can view this site in a range of languages that may be more comfortable, easier, and enjoyable for you to have at your fingertips.  If the translators become available again (they used to be but that widget has become corrupted and no good alternative is currently available) then I will use them for the blog.

It is my hope that the interest and experience with this thing called nonduality or awakening will continue, that its presence will spread not just in an academic way but in a real life way, helping to deepen the mystery of your life and the lives of countless people here now.  The experience is simply the feeling of FEELING how you have suddenly become connected to a larger sense of being....to the world, to the universe....it might seem very over the top, but its very simple, this.  Within each of us is the capacity for this experience and once you do, it wont seem strange or unusual, but like a long lost friend who has returned to you.  Or who has returned you to a part of yourself that was perhaps getting covered over in the worldly stuff.

I am including a list of all the countries, or most of them, that I have noted over the last year since I started taking notice. 

US
Canada
UK
Scotland
Philippines
India
Germany
Japan
Singapore
United Arab Emirates
Australia
Mauritius
Mexico
Argentina
Jakarta
Brazil
Belgium
Ireland
South Africa
Argentina
Peruguay
Russia
Denmark
France
Italy
Spain
Sweden
Poland
Greece
China
Syria
Kuwait
Singapore
New Zealand
Iran
Croatia
Serbia
Latvia
Serbia
Zimbabwe

The Cosmic Kaleidescope

I say a lot that I feel strongly about.  Some of it is simple, sometimes complicated.  There is in truth little I know with certainty except this one thing.  Out of it worlds form. Something like the simplicity of an atom, an entire universe rests upon it....that is the kind of poetry I can wrap myself around. 

But I will readily admit some things have me stumped.  Some things don't make sense to me.  And maybe its a flaw in my being able to tap into this thing...

If we come from a perfect place, a boundless sea of perfection, then why do our soul fragments, those parts of our oversoul which projects itself into this and other realities wind up with selves that are themselves less than perfect?

Is it in the manufacture? Is there a glitch along the way, or is it more nuanced?  Could it be that in the translation something happens that does not or will not allow perfection to move through the barriers between one world and the next?  Is it the effect that duality itself has upon us, a way of multiplying the smallest into something ridiculously big?  Is it the result of the Cosmic Kaleidoscope?  Is it the result of a scattering of a few disparate things, like facets on a still larger ball of being that simply results in a loss in translating our deep soulfulness or perfection?  Or do all souls travel this path in duality and......and is there really no answer?  Do we make souls little and then watch them and help them grow in the nursery of these worlds and since they have freewill they can decide crazy paths, ones our soul might not choose simply because it already knows the outcome or simply doesn't focus on all those mistakes it made outside of time?

Or is it perhaps that in a perfect state its less that things are perfect as we do not mind the imperfection and thus are at peace and it is this peace that we sense or are aware of?  Do we simply tune it out, not mind it?

Or perhaps is this a factor, a result of what our world does....by limiting our dimensionality, it also exaggerates something in the process?

Maybe its possible  that this other realm isn't perfect, never was perfect, and we seek some means for ascending that fabled stairway of the spiritual through means such as these and others, all like petals turning on a great and boundless flower garden full of lotus, petunia, honeysuckle, poppy, lily, sunflower, begonia, and fern.  Maybe we assume all if perfect elsewhere....

Certainly the Gnostics, an early Christian sect, felt that this world was the result of some  flaw that had turned within creation, something that came about as a result of an imperfect union at a much higher level.  The Hindus and others have expressed this sense that this world was less than perfect, and it has always been my sense that less than perfect here, we are less than perfect, perhaps sense this deeply yet do not quite enunciate the knowing quite right, injecting our own inner loathing into the mix, a projection less than a reality in the heart of the matter?  I feel like its not completely black and white, though.....

What do you think?

Trusting The Multiverse

Trust your experience
your feelings
to tell you what needs to be known
for this very moment.
For all that remains
clouding your vision
it is there to be realized by none other than you.
As your own inner compass tells you that something might not be
quite right
something knowing
in you
begins to turn
and the Truth
which is none other than you
whispers the Way.

The world  may tell you a million different things
or the most trusted authority might say
some ridiculous thing
that you took as utter truth
that has you turning on your heel
wondering how on earth you EVER
believed such a thing.

Love is the way.
Simple as that.
Anything else falls short.
This love has three petals;
mother, father, child.
Nothing else need be known.
Our religions seek to ferret out this truth
all to greater and lesser degrees
but what lay at the heart of religion
lies in our hearts vibrant and alive
in this singular moment.
By tapping the power of the moment
we tap infinity.
This is how things are in our world
where time flows in one direction
and so thus our point of power is in the moment
and in no other stream
for now.

As we begin to change the matrix surrounding the earth
as we are handed the keys to ever greater making
we will begin to change how things used to go
and write a new Way.

There will be those who will cleave to the old and say
things were this way forever,
the authorities were correct
we must follow tradition
and the old teachings....

For a time, they were right
but I am here to say things are beginning to change.
Something is looming
and it has to do with creation.
We are cocreators
children of a still greater Being
that brought All to Be
through a simple act of intention
which was itself an act
a pulse
of divine love.
we are thus forever formed and informed by this
through all time and all place.

Rest in this moment
listening to your heart.
If something pulls you
it pulls you for a reason
and there is something to be learned there.

When the moment begins to resolve kaleidoscopic
in the moment
it may be the time
of many times
coming upon us.
This is where you will have to listen
to what you feel is true.
Its simple
and brilliant
and confused by your mind
which is why they all say to quiet the mind.
Open the heart
open yourself
to the universe
and to that which is you.

The part of you that is looking
is the same part that is in the universe
looking
you are being looked for
and you are looking.
When you reach that moment
when you touch upon the universe
as you
looking out
looking in
something powerful will resolve
as you know the journey just reached a final stage
all of that searching
living
life after life
has now reached an 'end'
which is a beginning

Trust what you feel
your experience
and quiet the mind...