Saturday, February 26, 2011

The Work

We talk about how we do the hard work of working through our stuff.  My experience has been that I have never been so successful at anything as when I let go. That's it.  No work, no guru, no methods.  Just let go. Its actually an act of intention.  Will is involved.....but one that is willing to open the clenched fist and let the old stuff go. Some of this stuff is from lifetimes past.  Talk about something that might be a tad hard to get to!  Actually, no.  In fact, that sense of vagueness that seems to settle in around you when I say its something from a slew of lifetimes in your past is only that;  your energy body knows what it is even if you do not.  You can feel its hard little mote floating in your energy body the same way one might feel a kidney stone might move through your kidney. Its a hard thing to have to feel.  In a sense, a very real one, connecting with aspects of our higher self has its advantages; we can be like the child who knows something is wrong in the house but the parent (the higher self) does not need to explain all the gory details.  All we know is that Mother and Father took the trash out and the smell is gone. 

That's maybe a weird analogy. But its apt because at the place i am now, I know I do not need to know what buried past hurt is causing me trouble. It is as if its some foreign entity in my energy body.  And my energy body feels a lot like my physical body. I feel into my energy body the same way I'd feel into my physical body except that my energy body does not have the same perception of bounding.  I have this bouyant body of energy that has no end.  My idea of limit and identity is what seems to contain it, but it really isn't something that is containable.  But here now, in this reality, I can feel something in a portion of my field.  Maybe its a tightness that moves around until I learn to just let go.  When I let it go, it falls away.  It falls away and when it does I can feel the difference.  It feels like some weight has lifted. 

In the beginning of my kundalini awakening I had a number of very hard things that seemed to be dealt with in the first few weeks of the experience.  Once I hit the heart everything seemed to stop. Later, things picked back up.  I learned about surrender and I became much more of an intentional participant.  I also understood the role of surrender better.  I began stumbling across articles on surrender as if on cue.  I found myself sitting talking with someone who was a friend of the family who had become awakened years previously and she spoke of the importance of surrender in her path.  Its interesting how the universe will provide those resources as they are most needed right on time!

This work is not an intellectual pursuit.  The more wedded to feeling it is, the better, I have found, since Feeling is most closely tied to the soul. Not the intellect or mind. These parts of the self are most often associated with people who have not done all the work on their selves for the reason that the intellect and mind as well as ego become traps of sorts for the hurt self to stay. We move out of the heart in order to delay dealing with our stuff, so the intellect and ego often become the refuge because the mind does not feel.  The best place to go when we hurt is where the hurt is not. Short of knowing how to just let go and allow the hurt to fall away, we seek refuge from it.  The way out of this trap is through awareness. Others can bring this Awareness.  I know that for me someone very close and dear to me was able to bring awareness a to my condition. In fact she took on my pain body in such a way that I began feeling that pain body in a way I had not felt before.  It was an act of compassion even if it meant that I was in severe pain, debilitating pain, as a result of her taking on my pain body.  Somehow, she acted as a surrogate for how I was supposed to feel.  For a short period, I was able to feel a lightness of being, which came from her no doubt, only to develop a keener sense of myself through standing outside of myself in a way.  This happens because consciousness creates alliances, and can merge into other parts of itself.  The physical body is a perfect example of cellular consciousness creating an alliance with our own awareness to create a multidimensional experience which we call our physical selves.  It is in truth the result of a great deal of cooperation, compassion, and deep love which serves to connect all the parts so they can work well. I know; we have nerve fibers, synapses, and dendrites to do the job, but in all things there is an energetic component, which is this love that is naturally unifying.  When this feeling was brought to my attention, I was forever changed. I began to work on how to let go of this pain body.  This was the spiritual alchemy in motion. 

By learning to let go we surrender to higher aspects of ourselves.  We learn how this letting go actually allows a larger aspect of our consciousness to come in.  This is what we term Cosmic Consciousness, but it is in all truth US.....inside of you is a boundless being.  It exists outside of time, but here in this reality, you seem to limited.  How on earth could we be so boundless?  This means geting out of the head and into the energy body, into the FEELING body.  When you do that, you are closer to the love and bliss body and it s THAT body that is the closest to the Cosmic you. This Cosmic you is love.  Its the most amazing thing you will feel in your life.  By learning to let go of your hurts, you learn to divest yourself of that which gets in the way of the flow of this mighty river, or surging ocean within.  Its an amazingly simple process if you let it. 

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