Tools

Use every tool available to you. You must, I think. Use diet, use sleep, use lack of sleep, use lack of diet (fasting), use rest and use high energy exercise, use music piped in over headphones, use silence, use your own voice in making music piped in from your innermost core. Be alone in nature....nature was very important in helping me tap the love inside of me. Use water, or lack of water....take steam baths and have a message....have accupunture or do energy work like Qi Gong or yoga or.....and breathe in deep through your nose and exhale deep. Think of your energy body as breathing just as your physical body does....think about the books you have read and be ready to toss out what they have offered or embrace them as the need arises. The need can arise in so many different ways and serving the Process is what counts in my book. Being able to consider that some of what you have carried has not served you, was part of your hurt and thus clung to as a result of the pain in you at some point in the journey....not that its bad or undesirable....no....more like someone who missunderstood something basic....no fault to be laid or fingers to point....but until that hurt is healed in you, you will be kept in its vibration which is very often hurt and pain. Kundalini will burn it out of you just as long as it needs....and the longer you hold, the longer it burns...so approach with humility and set aside your pride...all of it....for it will not serve surrender as it should.....least it hasn't for me. While you are at it, examine what angers you, what hooks you in its talons; likely its what keeps you from further refinement. Many speak of reaching a place where they needed little....and perhaps there is a place where we can feel the forces of the universe, in the universe, yet do not need to be so controlled by them or affected by them. Like Taisen Deshimuru said, the sands of all the deserts begin to slip through your hands....

Know your core. This is what, for me, this is all about; becoming the ME within the shell built up over this lifetime and which contains memory or connection to all the other stories or lives. This represents the breaking of a cycle, and to do this I know that my small self does not have the tools but my infinite or core being does.
Listen to your intuition. Only you will know if and when you are ready for some new step....although some of my biggest strides were after beloved said "I see you are probably not ready for this next step...." so there is that. I think we just have to decide that we want to cross that river and can do so amazingly quick if we just resolve to do it....and when its done its not something you even need think about. Don't be afraid to pat yourself on the back some, and loving yourself I think is key.

Its funny that something so expansive, so elegantly put togeher would be so incredibly simple.....simple to get to and simple to be within. The problem we have, or that I have is that I complicate things sometimes. Everything has to be a trudge. No, no it does not. In fact, it seems at least for now that this is about learning how to make it easier by aligning with my innermost core being and letting that part come into the world and help make things easier (it felt like a cheat at first....but the really easy stuff....sometimes it feels like cheating...gotta get over that knee jerk thing...). In that innermost core being is a love that is stronger than anything. It makes no apologies for being what it is and I have sought to hold to it once I found it like so much flotsam and jetsam in my life until I have gathered enough of it to begin to make sense of this new world where the war is over and its time to pick myself up and begin to learn the ways of the New Man. The core is always the guide as the love forms and informs behavior. The clay of self is being reformed, literally, like clay is reformed. Some layers have to simply be removed and these fall away with energetic thrummings as the inner body vibrates like a bell being struck. You may feel this...you may not. What's important is that what is no longer necessary is removed or allowed to drop away in the face of this love inside, and doing so in a healthy way....and know that the path to healthy might not always be the cleanest but its important that you try and just be persistant...and persistance more than anything else is key...not genius nor skill nor any of the rest. Its scary at first because it feels like a death, or did seem so for me, at least in the beginning. So much gathered around you for so long has served to protect and shield. Its time to be vulnerable because its only in that vulnerability that the greatest light can shine. By falling back over the chasm without so much as a rope to catch you you tell the multiverse you trust something larger. This is my lesson and I speak it so I can hear it again. It is like a mantra amongst many.

I was so covered over that I could not feel my own pain. Goddess in physical form lifted it out of me and seemed to wear it for a short period of time.....it seemed this way....because when it was placed back on I began to feel its sharp grinding pain in my heart center like never before. Pain exists so that we we learn to cease feeling it. If it stays too long we numb to it. I was numb to it I am sure. But we cleave to energy bodies like we do to layers of clothing. We think the dirty smelly things which have never been taken off and examined are good for us because of how they protect us. Sometimes, though, in the midst of protecction, we can become insulated from the quieter parts of ourselves, the more understated yet very strong parts of ourselves. Of course it would make sense that those critical parts might be the first to get covered over. They are like a voice from another world.....our core....and I for one yearn to bring that core to the fore and anchor it here in my world. I know that as I do this I feel layers fall away as I feel.....more childlike....more like I was when young. Perhaps when I had fewer layers on. I like how that feels. I am not afraid to say I crave him; the clearest and most beautiful parts of me spring from him. But understanding him is also important and the pain he encountered there in his life and how his neeed is echoed in my life today. What we do not resolve from then we are destined to repeat. We will marry our parents until we realize what it is that we felt deficient in, or needed, or wanted....even subconsciously...and its perhaps that that need is no longer relevant but resides within us until we look at it swaurely and forgive it, or sorgive ourselves for feeling that or wanting that. Its okay, we are all human, and its that humaness that is often so beautiful.

When I run short of methods or wise words I do what is perhaps the most useful; I say I wish to be close to my core being.....that I wish for the layers to drop away, for me to learn to surrender....and if I cannot surrender then pray to be healed of the innability to surrender. Surrender is falling backwards into the chasm and trusting in the supportive nature of the cosmos to not just take care of you but assist you in prospering in your highest. You don't need to know how it works. You don't need to take it apart in your mind. All you need is to adore it beyond all else and to seek it from your heart....even if you don't know what the heart feels like. Something inside of you is waiting to emerge and by giving it some intention, some space to Be, then it gets closer to being able to become a reality. All good things can take some time and some not so good things take some time to undo sometimes simply because they have become so habitual. SO be easy on yourself. Loving yourself.....is so important because the measure of that love will be echoed in your soul and it will be what you will begin to attract....instead of the older patterns that may have been unresolved. Its time to lay those things aside and pick up the New Man and the New Woman. We so need this in this time. It is the gentle revolution which is spreading outward like the rays of the rising sun spreading out through the grass, bubbling up through the cracks in the ground and bringing a new life with it.

Just tell yourself that you have everything you need and that perhaps there is something in you which clings to things that do not make it as beautiful as they could be otherwise....and that so much can be attained through letting go of expectation, worry, fear of loss.....and channel in you this wonder and joy. It will attract new people...people who crave this same thing and who will begin to bring in a new vibration in this wonderfully serendipitous way. Knowing that time is largely illusory in the sense that our souls do not reside in a state of time and thus we have access to all that we could be, and are. By doing this, by the realization that we already ARE healed, that we are already at the finished point (not the end)we can begin to learn and be impressed by what is in us to become known in this time. By doing this we can reverse so much of what has transpired in this past age and move forward in a constructive way into another. It feels a bit like a cheat, but I think the truth is our world yearns for such a cheat to become widespread, to open up to our eternal potentials and bring into this world the audacious idea that we can do way more than we ever dreamed possible by letting a tiny fraction of what we truly are into this world. The angels of our greater being will help us enormously. I say this mostly to myself because this is what I need most to bear in mind at this time. I have no clue how I will get there.....and perhaps its not a there at all but a simple recognition, and angle of desire, a willingness to surrender as a fire so divine so fine begins to propagate through me.......

I have this feeling.....and its that we often feel like in order to make real change happen we need to make grand gestures in the world. Don't get me wrong; these are important because they remind us of what's better in us or important. But I have a feeling that if we could make a subtle change, a small change in many many many people, even if its small, it would result in significant change in the world. And maybe if we all took care of our own little corner of our lives then the world would be a better place. You hear this a lot and it sounds kind of trite but I think its true. Finding the mechanism by which this change can take place is perhaps the key to such a broad move, a subtle move. I think it would be marvelous if the world just quietly and subtley changed.....and we hardly noticed except that now books were being written about the sheer depth of love that we now seem able to feel, how physicists are moved to discover something that brings a better way of doing things or of understanding the way the universe works....and maybe more people in priestly robes would soften their words and talk about this love which is so liberating, so empowering... and politicans would even change a tad....well who knows really. And I am just dreaming. For now, though, I have plenty of work to do in my own inner garden. The great thing is that I know its there and that the soil is rich and some seeds are already peeking up out of the ground alread showing great promise and that some of that promise will begin to ooze out around the garden gate and which speaks quietly of a love so great its almost unbelievable if you haven't gotten a chance to feel it for yourself....and the secret is, its all inside of you....

More than anything trust your instincts. We make this as we go.