Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Integrated Being

Sometimes when we talk about the parts of yourself, it can very easily seem as though they are like parts to a car, or furniture in a house.  Its not like that at all, but language can twist things sometimes.  Speaking plainly is important, as well as making no assumptions about anything said or written. Its so easy to speak of the higher self like its out there apart from you.

As I was working on a tree today which had fallen in a wind storm recently, I found myself feeling into myself.  I have been thinking about ego and about this higher self for a while.  I think that the language I use is just incorrect, perhaps distortive.  The higher self does not magically come into the moment when the ego steps aside.  The higher self is always there.  Its always there.  In every moment, in everything you do.  This is why you probably wont feel some grand entrance of a self you knew nothing about making its presence known to you.....because its who you are, an integrated part of a whole.  You are part of it, it is part of you and none of this is in anyway separate.  Somehow, though, ego does a perfect job at making a grand mess of things. Things wind up LOOKING separate or different from what they really are.  And sometimes, in simply writing, its easier to write or discuss these issues, these parts of you as if they ARE parts.  They aren't parts.  And for writing this way, I realize I have been in error.

The beautiful thing is how integrated things already are in you.  When the big self comes along, its a nonevent unless ego is installed or lurking in the shadows. Ego has in my case been a real Achilles heel.  IN the first awareness that I had of my authentic self, I about went "ass over tea kettle."  There was not reason for this to have happened, but it did.  Its ego's fault.  Really! (smile)

What you are is an extension, a part, of your higher self.  It looks out through you, you look out through it.  You shift and change focus moment to moment, and as you are able to hold this nondual presence within, you will feel its traces, which is bliss and peace. In many ways, so much of an awakening is simply learning how to keep the ego in check so the self can appreciate the larger picture that will come more into focus. When experienced this way, nothing is out of place, everything is part of a larger whole, and our creaturehood is a marvelous natural thing to let move freely within.  In this blessed stillness, you can sense the presence of all that you are in a unified and simple way, like how a flower grows or how the wind blows.  Its all part of the larger landscape.  None of it is truly separate.

The higher self is not some journey to Oz that we make.  Its the result of a singular act of surrender. If the ego can let go of expectation, we can begin to see what it is that we have always been. Its just taken us a little while to get to this place where we can do that. And its okay, because none of this is any kind of race to 2012 or any of that.  The universe is entirely open ended, and this is but one life in a series of them.  Vast, infinite sums of them, in fact.  Being happy to explore this life in its fullest will probably tend to open you up to more possibilities as you signal that your own being is changing enough to be sturdy enough to handle the larger focuses.  We are really like children here, learning the basics. There is a wonderful world out there once we begin to get those basics down.

Within you is a marvelous creature that you are becoming.  Within you is a giant of a being that can bring you the single best reward you could have ever known.  Learning the lesson of self love is a hard one because of how ingrained lack of it has been in our world, and in our own individual karmas.  But knowing that this has been a global karmic issue can be a great way to build compassion for the fact that we are all just learning how to feel the bliss that is US.  The light that is me salutes the light that you are---the very essence of nemasté,


Anonymous said...

Thank you for putting my experience into words.

Him said...

You are most welcome. Thank you for stopping by!