crocus blooming in the yard...
Spring can be a great opportunity to feel into yourself the opportunity for new growth, for new opportunity for change and becoming. Nowhere is this more evident this time of year than in all of nature. It can serve as such an immediate example for how to unfold, to bloom, to be. The bliss of becoming the dance of life, the promise of what life offers, all hold such a rich bed of possibility for you when going through such trying times. Nature seems to do all of this so effortlessly, so completely. Little wonder that during my hardest times, it was Nature that always served as a quiet and supportive resource for me. In Nature, I knew my own nature. All of this difficulty in awakening is the result of all kinds of attitudes and positions and karmas laid on layer by layer. And slowly, we take them off, seduced and amazed by how much better it feels once we are more naked, more true, more simple. I think that our attitudes about our sexuality are big stumbling blocks. We ARE sexual beings, and we feel shame and funny about it. We feel like this one aspect needs to be hidden, that it is dirty or shameful. So much of our traditions reflect this idea and the reinforcing of the two continues until we begin to break free like a flower breaks free from the ground, then from its stem and opens to the world to let in light and air and finally to surrender to the world and its willingness to spread the spark of our own life out into the larger world. This is the essence of creativity, and its how we continue the race, too. But we feel funny about that. Surely, it feels like a very intimate thing, and it is...but the idea that we are all separate is an illusion. I sense through this energy that all of life sings through me, that the oneness that I feel is the collective awareness of all life. When you go through such an experience, its unmistakable. It isn't that you need proof. It simply is. Its like knowing gravity is there. You don't need to study it to prove that it is there. Its obvious. And so is this bliss. Its all of us. Its the universe. Its in everything from the smallest particle to the largest of worlds.
daffodil fully opened
Just like all life, we too have our seasons, and it seems the point in all of this is to experience every aspect in its turn. Spring is as important to feel as the quiet of winter. Fall brings such radical change, sad to me for the loss of life that so recently sprung around, but it too suggests a sloughing off of the old skins, and returning to the root, to the bulb, to the essence that has given rise to all that we see and experience above ground.
kale sprouting, two days old
Life is so eager to become. seeds so recently planted now spring up in planting pots in the house. I am getting a jump on the growing season where these plants will grow and become, and in the process, share with me their abundance. They will feed me just as I feed and help them grow faster than other weeds that might want to crop up around them. I am reminded of the gnostic text of Philip who explained that the karma we experience is like a vine whose roots are deep within us. It serves to make us do what we do not want to do and to be unable to do the things we would like to do. Removing these things requires getting to the root. No trimming will work. But once the thing has been removed, its gone forever. Indeed, in the midst of awakening, I have seen what happens when we can pluck out these plants by their roots. They do not grow back. And we are free to use the fertility of the surrounding soil, the universe, to nurture us in a growing sense of bliss and belonging to a larger family of being that is infinite in scope.
daffodil closeup, beginning to open
Within is a self waking up, spreading its tender petals. Every part of you opens in this way to a larger reality. This is an act of surrender, an inevitable process of becoming your more authentic self. Bliss pours through you as you learn to let the ego structures go and resolve those old hurts which never served you to begin with. I don't have all the answers, but I do know that the answer lies in feeling and a steady resolve that within lies the answer. Its all learning how to be different....but this being different is merely what you were all along. Just as the daffodil sprouts up from the ground proclaiming that everything it has experienced up to that time is everything that it is, discovers that some bud is growing at the end of it, and as it watches in fascination, its own body produces a wonderful flower that seems to know just what to do in its blooming. Further, it creates such a wonderful scent so as to delight everyone who walks past it. How beautiful, how perfectly blissful such a thing is. See how beautiful we are? And see what a mystery life can be just as we are convinced we know everything there is to know. Life throws us a new pitch and we find we are more than just tender shoots, but a flower!
Your soul is beautiful. It is the most exquisite thing you will ever experience. It was made to reveal to you how amazing creation is, and its waiting inside of you to discover its wonder, beauty, and love. I know this may seem counter intuitive for the fact that we have all been taught to look outside of ourselves for beauty. This one though, involves looking inside. It is the final look, the most lasting one. And when you can see and feel this beauty within you, you will begin to mirror that beauty in the world. This, my friends, is a great secret to creation. It is creating less through intention as by being. I know it may sound like you do nothing, but in a way this is true. You can create in the world simply by your changing how you are. The universe will wind up mirroring this all around you. Suddenly, your barren garden will begin showing all kinds of life that had lain dormant. Birds will show up, and what was once dry land will suddenly become moist and rich. How can this be? Its as though a spell was cast over you that your ego created a long long time ago and all you have known has been this dry patch of ground. And as you let that notion go, the world changes because your belief about it changes. Your individuality cannot move mountains, but your higher being, being infinite, can do anything. If you give this a try, you will see just what I mean. I promise, that if you shift something so will the world. Changing how you feel and what you believe is a big first step. I suspect being able to just love yourself is one very potent way of beginning this process.
Happy Spring!
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